A Web MD-ish Guide to Blog Fatigue Syndrome
Posted on March 21, 2012
Chronic Blog Fatigue is a traumatic tiredness brought about by excessive posting, reading of blogs, commenting, and the general maintainence that is required to keep a readership growing. If you blog anywhere between once a week and once a day, you could be suffering from CBF. If you blog more than five times per day – please stop.
- Waking up in the morning, turning over to see your spouse, and seeing a like button poised and pressed over her head.
- Tender orbal lobes (some people call these eyes) from staring at a screen all day long.
- A fat arse from cutting out exercise to blog more.
- Joint pain because for some reason there is always joint pain.
- Nausea because for some reason there is always nausea.
- Painful nodes growing out of your thumbs due to excessive comment answering on your 4G.
- Stats-icocis. Self explanatory – that’s what your stats have turned you into an icocis, the worst kind. No one likes a stats-icocis.
- Dipping your motherboard in a deep fryer
- Reading a book or talking to a real person
- Reading things printed on stuff that was made from trees
- Creating your own indoor electrical storm that causes you to “accidentally” break your circuits
- Becoming a hippie and cancelling your wireless service
- Moving to the moon
- Living for one year as a neo-luddite (Is there a colony for this?)
- Slowing down your posting rate by amputating your limbs and typing with your face
- Topical creams
As you can see, this is all Sweet Mother has within her today. She will be taking comments for the rest of the day from bed like a blogging version of Debbie Reynolds. Maybe it was all that red wine last night, maybe it’s because the muse has decided to leave her for a newer blogger, who knows. It just is.
For non-bloggers: This post is done. You can stop reading now.
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