Yes, it’s the chicken or the egg debate all over again.  I just read an NYT article (link below) that talks about whether or not facebook has made us all a pack of teeming narcissists.  (I live in Los Angeles, so that is sort of expected with or without the facebook.)  But, since today is facebook goes live day, or rather facebook goes public day, or better said Marc Zuckerberg gets feckin’ richer day – I thought it was time for an fb-centered post.  Excuse my selfishness – I think.  Wait, does that mean I think I own facebook?  Hmm, anyway…

 

Have you checked-in with your habit yet this morning?

 

I’ve thrown together what I believe to be the MOST narcissistic facebook status updates one could ever write.  Please enjoy and then re-post or like or share or re-print as a bumper sticker.  (jk, jk, no, really.)

 

I ate spicy ramen last night and I think I saw one complete noodle strand in my poop.

I have an fb section for every aspect of my life: family, job, friends, and lovers.  If you could please take a moment to “like” them all.  If you don’t, I’ll have to get new ones.

My boyfriend is so hot he gave me herpes.  I don’t care if I’m not smart.  I have breasts like Pamela Anderson.  Will you “like” my boobs, please?  Hey, my dad just did.

My girlfriend broke up with me because she says she can’t handle all this man-sandwich, not because I’m a d*ck.

This is a picture of my baby.  This baby came through MY lady-oven, therefore it is better than your baby.

Today my savings account hit the 1 million dollar mark.  Suck it, poor people.

You know who is a better presidential choice than either Romney or Obama…ME.

I know everything.  If you debate that in my comments section, it means you’re an a-hole.

Everyone I have ever loved has left me because they say I’m “too needy.”  Please tell me how I am not needy below this update.

I like to take pictures of myself alone and then tag all of my friends in them because they have the right to look at me at least once a day.  I don’t want to deny them.

I am Donna Summer.  What?  I am.  I am also Whitney Houston.  After all, “I’m every woman.  It’s all in me.”

 

RIP, dear lady, RIP.

 

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Sweet Mother is updated daily. If you’d like to follow this blog, you can do so by clicking the “follow” button at the top of the page.

 

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NYT link

Photo creds:  facebook-coke, fb-glasses via Miami Herald, Donna Summer

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