Good morning, all.  I’m having a late start of it today as I contemplate things.  One of the things that I am contemplating is what my life would be like if I had a travel blog.  I often contemplate this.  However, I never attempt it because, well, there are people who do it far better than I ever would.  Not to mention, it’s probably one of the most competitive blogging niches out there.  I’m already involved in one competitive business – comedy – and for me that is way more than enough.

 

I love the idea of it though.  Travel, write, relax, cruise, note, photograph, eat, and repeat.  There are writers who excel at this.  For example, my friend Lauren has an awesome-travel-blog.  Her and her husband took a year off from life.  That’s right an entire year, to travel, while they were young, even.  I love hearing their stories about it.  Not to mention, I like travel PEOPLE.  They always seem to know where everything great is.  Like the time Lauren said to us, “There’s a cool, underground, Korean, brunch in the back of a dive bar in San Francisco where we should go…”  We went and it was awesome.  Only like 4 tables.  Only about 10 items on the menu and I’m pretty sure the chef cooked everything up in his apartment and then had it brought down.  I’m not kidding.  Regardless, it was awesome.  Then there’s Lesley Carter.  I stop by her blog frequently.  She talks about fun things, travel-ish things, and somehow, some way, I think she even managed to make money off her WP blog.  Now, how in the hell does one do that?!  She also gives away cool prizes – like a trip through wine country or a day at a trapeze school.  I find this amazing because I had a hard time giving away a brand new vacuum cleaner when I moved out of my New York city apartment.

 

“Take it, just take it. For god’s sake, it’s free!”

 

So, those blogging-lasses do travel better.  But, I can’t help thinking “What if…, What if…”

 

Well, I suppose if I had a travel blog it would be composed of pictures mainly in restaurants combined with excellent background scenery.  Because that’s what Wifesy and I do on vacation – we eat.  Then we get back and complain about how much we ate.

 

Usually during the trip Wifesy laments about why we’re not, “THOSE PEOPLE.”  By “those people” she means the people who are very active on a vacation.  You know, the people who go hiking the Sierras or parasailing off the Florida Keys.  After she says something like that, I mention that we are “those people.”  Well, we’re more of an amalgamation of “those people” and adorable sloths.  This means we follow breakfast and drinks with more drinks and then an hour of kayaking.  And then wings and drinks followed by an hour long walk down the beach.  I like to think of this as vacation balance.

 

Okay, it’s not the “Amazing Race,” but it IS living, goddermn it!

 

So, for our last sojourn in our reliable hybrid, we visited SLO Town, USA.  Also known as San Luis Obispo.  From there we hit Morro Bay and a little place called Cayucos.

 

It was pretty great.  Here’s the proof:

 

Travel Tip 1: Always begin and end your trip with bloody marys. That’s how you signal your body that the holiday has begun.

 

Travel Tip 2: Only ever leave fruit or veggies on your plate. Leaving anything else (like hash browns or pancakes) would be an insult to the Travel Gods.

 

Travel Tip 3: The sea always looks better when shot over the shoulder of a friendly stout.

 

Travel Tip 4: Always take the time to try on ridiculous hats.

 

Travel Tip 5: Always take a picture of a random road to remind oneself of the road less traveled…even though you have just traveled down it.

 

Travel Tip 6: If the sun is c*ckblocking your photo-op, take the photo at a weird angle and tell yourself it’s “artsy.”

 

Travel Observation 7: You may actually snag an award-worthy, travel blog shot…and yet, it will be the most disgusting of the bunch.

 

Travel Tip 8: When you’re not sure what to do next, stop for good beer and chicken wings to help you think.

 

Travel Observation 9: Feel awkward when those chicken wings remind you of your adorable pooch’s paws. Create the connection forever by leaving the evidence on your blog.

 

***

Sweet Mother is updated daily.  You can subscribe to this blog by clicking the follow button at the top of the page.

 

**

You might also like:

The God Particle

 

*

Photo creds:  All mine with the exception of vacuum