Today is my birthday.  I am not posting.  I wrote this yesterday and scheduled it to post today because I am crafty like that.  Today, I am old.  I am the same age as Ben Affleck.  In fact, we were born on the exact same day in the same year.  So, while he’s bangin’ his hotsey wife, Jennifer Garner, you can picture me making a sour face because I’m picturing Ben Affleck bangin’ Jennifer Garner and the love making is as bad as the acting was in that movie he did with JLo, Gigli.  (Hey, it’s my berfday and I can picture what I want to.)  I also love a quality run-on sentence.

 

“God, not like that, Ben. Have you no dignity? Jennifer is not as limber as she appeared to be in, Alias. She-sus Christ. Get it together, man.”

I am also the same age as Sofia Vergara and Cameron Diaz.  Both of these women are also Latina.  So, am I.  I’m a half-breed, a half-Latina.  Who knew Hispanic could look like this, huh?

 

“I’m only happy when it rains…” Isn’t that a song?

Or this…

We all know it’s supposed to look like this…

 

I also have the same attitude as another woman who was born only six months before me in the very same county, that being – Queens, New York.  So, when you think of me – think of a gum-snapping, New Yawker, like this one (below) and you’re half way there.

 

Sweet Mother, a lot like Drea…but, funnier.

So, today Wifesy is taking me somewhere.  I have no idea where as she’s been very secretive about it.  However, I’m very excited about it.  Could it be whitewater rafting?  Disneyland?  Mars?  I hear there are mobile tractors up there now or something.  I don’t frickin’ know where I’m going, but I’m going.

 

Regardless, I’m very grateful for the distraction, as it stops me from feeling so frickin’ old.

 

Anyway, on my birthday – since none of us know how long we have left here on this earth – I wanted to say thank you, to all of you.  You have no idea what an inspiration and motivation you have all been for my writing and my creative career going forward.  For that, I am truly grateful.

 

Therefore, these are for you…

It’s birthday cake for breakfast, bitches!!! Wooohooo.

And on my berfday, it’s cocktails all around…

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Sweet Mother is updated daily-ish.  Even in advance, on her feckin’ berfday, now that is effort.  So, make an effort yourself and hit the “follow” button.  Come on, you can do it!  I believe in you!

 

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You might also like:

There Is No “I” in Team.  Well, Maybe There Should Be…

 

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Photo creds:

sourface, sofia, cameron, drea, cake, cocktail
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