Hello, my lovelies!  So, I’ve been thinking about a new blog idea for a while.  We all know that sometimes bloggers receive free sh*t in exchange for a review.  In fact, just the other day, my friend – midnitechef – was conducting a contest for some free coffee over at her blog and it got me thinking.  Could a funny, creative writing blog centered around gays and lesbians and the people who love them score some free sh*t?!  My inclination is to say, no.  But, the comedian in me is dying to try anyway.  So, feck it.

 

I’m starting up a QUEST FOR SOME FREE BLOGGER SH*T CAMPAIGN.

 

Now, comedians seem to have a decent amount of pull when it comes to partnering with corporations.  I knew a comedian who wasn’t even a big name, but he talked about beer constantly in his act.  Over a very short period of time, he scored a lucrative contract with Bud Light.  His deal was to wear a Bud Light tee whenever and wherever he performed.

 

Let Momma be clear on this one.  I’m not willing to partner with just anyone.  I don’t want to cheapen myself and my blog by becoming “Becky the Butt Plug Shiller” (actually, yes I do, but for a different reason entirely…) or “Sweet Mother the Tampon Twirler” (though I think there’s a lot of comedy there, not to mention a circus act).  Nope, I’m going to have integrity about it.  I’m going to do one better…

 

I will not sell these, but it is my Halloween costume…

 

I’m going to only go after sh*t that I like and actually want.  (with one comedic exception.  I’ll let you figure out which one that is…)  If I get anything, I’ll review it here.  If you help me gently stalk the companies I’m about to propose, I’m going to give you something in return.  Free publicity, free gifts, free, free, free – I promise you will get something enjoyable for free back from me.  I promise I’ll not only share the information, but the wealth.  In fact, my payback may simply be that I help you and YOUR blog get the free sh*t that you so clearly DESERVE.  (How cool would that be?)

 

So, what’s my strategy?

 

I’ve decided that I’m going to hit up the companies with products that I’d like to endorse with an email, a snail mail, and a blog post that will be tweeted and twittered and facebooked around.  That right there is instant promo for the company.

 

I’ve decided that the products must tie in with this blog in some way — for both the company and for me.  So, I’ve decided to go after decidedly gay things (or items that I find fabulously gay), try to score them for free, wear them, use them, enjoy them, and review them.  That’s the goal.

 

It has to be enjoyable for me and enjoyable for the company.

 

With that in mind, I have researched companies that have “gay and lesbian” targeted products.  Jaguar is one.  (But, I figured I’d start smaller.  te, he)  There’s a queer beer coming out of Mexico too…yes, Mexico…but I’m going to wait on that one too until they get their gay-marketed, sh*t together.  So, no beer and no Jag right now, but after much research and solid thinking I’ve narrowed it down.  Here are the companies with products I’d like to target.  Drum roll, please:

 

Lululemon Athletica — makers of several cool fanny packs.  And no one likes a fanny pack more than a lesbo.

 

G-Shock – the watch for lesbians (and dudes).

 

Crocs – the lesbian shoe (whether they know it or not).

 

…because I sorta love these and need a new pair!

 

Kristin Miles (clothes for curvy bitches), Simply Be (clothes for curvy bitches) — because I’m a clothes whore.

 

Chick-fil-A – because I like chicken and they need the PR.  I’m going to start my letter with, “Dear Chick-Fil-A, I’m a homosexual and I will eat your chicken…IF you give it to me for free.”  I don’t expect much from this one, but if my gentle stalking gets a nasty letter in return, I’ll consider it a win.  And hey, I didn’t say I’d be nice…especially, to them.

 

Homoquotables – the gay and lesbian greeting card.

 

Okay, so my first guinea pig is going to be Homoquotables.com.  They are a small line of greeting cards made for the gay and lesbian market.  My hope is that their creator, Dan McLellan, will send me a few, free, cards.  I’ll chronicle what it’s like to use them by sending them out to my gay brother and some of my other choice gays.  Then, of course, I will chronicle their responses.  That amount of promo has got to be worth a few free cards.

 

So, check out homoquotables.com.  I have already sent them a letter.  I mentioned my stats, my reach, and my funny.  I also requested some free cards.

 

And if you want to be part of the action, in an attempt to help me get my first free thing – then TWEET HOMOQUOTABLES.  This is their twitter account:  @homoquoatables

 

You can tweet something like, “Sweet Mother needs your gay cards.”  Be creative, have fun with it.  And then add my handle too:  @beckydonohue – so that I can read all about it.

 

Man, oh, man, I’m rubbing my little, dastardly, hands together in anticipation.  This is exciting!  I may get nothing or I may get some cool, free, sh*t that I will talk about on here.  Either way, it sounds like fun.  If you care to join me, tweet @homoquotables and let the QUEST FOR FREE-GAY-BLOGGER-STUFF BEGIN.

 

Much love,

 

Sweet Mother

 
SUPER AWESOMELY FAST ADDENDUM:  The new, Mr. Awesome, Dan at Homoquotables.com has already agreed to send me the cards and his super awesome catalog.  So, look for a cool, post review about these killer cards soon.  And holy batman-balls, if everything happens this fast, I’m going for that Jag after all.  If you have a moment, tweet Dan and tell him how awesome he is!  @homoquotables

 

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Photo creds:

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