So, why didn’t I say “Idea Woman” in the title?  If you say “Idea Man” an image comes to your mind of an inventor, an entrepreneur, a guy willing to try anything who eventually succeeds.  You wouldn’t say, “Idea Boy,” unless you were trying to denote the nerdy kid who wins first place in the science fair.  So, why am I saying, “Idea GIRL” to describe a full-grown-woman, me?

 

I suppose because a “girl” is a plucky thing.  It conjures up images of the curious kid, the filled with wonder, growing, human who looks at the world through a different set of eyes.  That or maybe I just think it’s less threatening, less Wonder Woman sounding than “Idea Woman”?  I just don’t know.

 

But, I do know that I think of myself as an “idea person.”  I come up with them constantly.  It’s like a compulsion and it is truly like I can’t help myself.  I know that this is one of the many reasons why I must become a paid writer in a writer’s room somewhere.

 

I think about the show Breaking Bad and all the ingenious things the writers have come up with to keep Heisenberg undetectable and out of harms way.  To keep that “I’ve outsmarted the cops again” conflict going is, for sure, a full-time job.  I practically salivate when I think about all of those writers in a room thinking, “How can our protagonists break out all the meth loot and evidence from the secure vault of the police station?”  And then someone says, “MAGNETS.”  They use f’ing magnets to scramble the computer’s info and to damage the evidence.  It’s brilliant.  A concept that could’ve only been created by an Idea Man or woman.

 

 

What has occurred to me as of late, though, is the undeniable fact that in this day and age, the Idea Girl has to pair up with the Producer Person.  You can no longer JUST come up with the idea.  No one is going to buy your unvarnished, untried, idea for a million smackers.  You have to make it and you have to make it yourself.  Usually with very little to no money.

 

Look at Youtube.  Youtube is an idea factory of bargain basement ideas.  So is WordPress and a lot of the content you see bandied about on here.

 

I’ve had a lot of ideas that haven’t come to fruition.  I had this idea called, “Dykes on a Bike” where you have one supposed lesbian interview another one from a tricycle to a bicycle.  It’s sort of like Zach Galifianakis’s “Two Ferns,” but with two lesbos and two bikes.  You have Queen Latifah interview Lindsay Lohan, let’s say.  It’s original and interesting, but I’m not sure anyone is interested in the making of it, but me.  Then I built an experiment called, “Trash Talkin’ Trash.”  The premise was simple, pieces of trash picking apart moments in pop culture.  A tabloid paper thrown in the trash with an image of its boobs out talking about Kate Middleton’s exposed breasts.  All in all, this experiment was a success in that it used organic search terms to drive traffic to the videos.  If you youtube searched, “Kate Middleton’s Breasts,” you came upon my video.  The problem – I didn’t find the content amusing enough.  The jokes didn’t thrill me and I think that was mainly because the parameters of the idea were too restrictive.

 

So, now I’ve got a third idea.  It’s for the Latino market, which anyone will tell you, is the best one to go for in the United States right now.  They have surpassed African Americans as the country’s number 1 minority and in California they make up 25% of the population.

 

Being half Latina, with a Colombian mother, I also like to think that I know a little bit about what they want.  Like most ethnic groups, they don’t want to be kowtowed to.  They don’t want to see content with tons of sombreros and working migrants and maids that look like JLo or Lupe Ontiveros.  They want integrated into the American culture, Latino spice.  I mean, Shakira wasn’t just a hit with the Latinos.  She was a hit with anyone who liked to shake their ass.  So, appeal to the “shake your ass” quality, the fringe thing, and then explode it, make it outrageous.

 

Here’s my idea.  I share it with you here, now, because I do not know if it will become another one of those killed before it starts ideas or if I will actually be able to partner with someone to make it happen.  The one thing I do know is that I’m getting closer and closer to creating a production company of my own.  It’s not enough to come up with the ideas anymore, I’ve got to bring them to life.

 

So, without further “parada,” today’s Latino-centered idea.

 

A series of short film parodies taken from the re-imagined title:  Dead Man Walking.

 

Only this time it’s “Dead Gringos Talking.”

 

The premise is simple – All of the US has been killed off.  The only humans left in the country are a few undead, zombies.  The gringos know that South America is next and because it happened to us, we know how to stop or slow the cycle of death.  We’ve got to get a message out to our Latino brothers and sisters and fast.  There’s only one problem – the gringos barely speak a word of Spanish.

 

As such, “Dead Gringos Talking” is born.

 

Zombie-Gringos desperately trying to send a message in SPANISH to their fellow humans and failing miserably.

 

Imagine it…

“Brothers, the cloud of death hates reggae music. Play it, loudly, as they approach.”

 

“The fanny pack is to the death cloud, as garlic is to a vampire.”

 

“The death cloud comes for the adorable first. Hide your pets and your children.”

 

See, the idea is brilliant, but will it ever get made?  First of all, what company trying to reach a Latino market wouldn’t want to place their advertising behind the Spanish message of the Zombie-Gringos?

 

I know I would, if I were Nike, and I wanted a Mexican-American girl to buy my shoes.

 

¡Cuidado, la nube de muerte viene!

 

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Sweet Mother is updated daily-ish with ideas and writerly things.  Join me, by clicking the “follow” prompt at the top of the blog.

 

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Photo creds:

lightbulb-girl, zombie-cute, zombie-reggae, zombie-fanny, breakingbad

 

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