Uninspired (Post 39)
Posted on February 5, 2013
Today, I’m feeling uninspired. So instead of ditching it altogether, I thought I’d write about that. It’s easy to feel creatively tapped out at the end of a project and as I inch towards 365 completed posts that’s exactly how I feel.
I DO think there’s something in the doing it anyway, though. I DO believe that there’s something to be said for riding the bike when you don’t feel like riding the bike.
Way back when I ran a little comedy show in a basement bar in Manhattan, I asked a very talented friend of mine to host the show for me on a night when I couldn’t be there. He agreed to do it. I was even going to pay him for filling in for me. Last minute, he cancelled. I asked him why and he said, “I’m feeling uninspired.”
There was something precious about his answer to me. Maybe – for him – he was right. Comedy was his art and he wasn’t feeling it. He was feeling like he needed a rest or to do something else.
Yet, I still felt like he had left me high and dry.
However, maybe, just maybe, people who take their art to the degree where when they cancel a gig they sound like the feckin’ king of England, maybe, just maybe, they are right. Maybe this kind of tenderness and protectiveness of one’s craft is what can make you successful. Maybe this elitist thinking can take you from good to great.
Maybe. Or maybe you often have to do the craft when you don’t want to or feel like doing the craft. Maybe that can also make you stronger as a writer and a creative.
I don’t have any answers. I only have the thoughts in my head and my often times, clunky, writing.
You see, I write down all these post ideas and I keep them in my phone, but today I didn’t feel like dissecting any one of them. I didn’t feel like delving into a particular topic and stirring something up. The pups are finally asleep and I only want to express the thoughts I have in my head, as I am having them. Improvisational writing, in a sense.
But, is that interesting at all?
I just don’t know.
I’m throwing this into the abyss. I’m listening to the breathing of my dogs and I’m letting the thoughts wash in and out of my head and then spill on to the keyboard with reckless abandon. My hope is that this act is not so one-sided that it will bore you senseless. I suppose I’m wondering if you can pull a blogging-Larry-David.
In other words, can you post about absolutely feckin’ nothing?
Can it be done? Or is it just an exercise in hearing your self talk…or write, rather, I should say?
I stretch my body out. I reflect and what enters my mind is this thought:
“You could wait until inspiration hits. That’s what a lot of people do. You could wait until you have gold or at least an attention grabber.”
I suppose to some degree, I’m tired of waiting. Waiting for things to happen. Waiting for nods of approval. Waiting to make more money than I lose. Waiting to get out of debt. Waiting to feel inspired. My only quest is to create something everyday. If you like it, great. If you don’t, you don’t.
It’s a strange place to live, but for right now – it just feels right.
Sweet Mother is updated daily-ish on the quest towards 365 consecutive posts. Only a few dozen more to go. Join me by clicking the “follow” option above.
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