I’m up way too early today.  It’s a cold, California, early morning.  I’m finally feeling like I’m back to a place where I can write, consistently, again and that feels good.  That’s the state of my inner, inner world.  It’s getting more balanced.  Yet, the outer world is a strange place.  It seems out of whack.  I just threw some tweets up on twitter and noticed that #MandelaMemorial and Tila Tequila were trending at the same time.

 

How in the feck are Tila Tequila and Nelson Mandela on the same score board EVER?

 

An astute tweeter said, “Yeah…AND??!  Is this the first time you’ve looked at twitter trends?”

 

Of course I get it.  There are always two ridiculous things trending at the same time.  A president and a lubricant.  A non-celebrity pushing his reality show, next to a cutie in a bat suit taking over San Francisco as part of his, “make a wish”.  I totes get it.

 

sf batkid

 

Yet, I can’t help feeling sometimes like I’m straddling two worlds.  Maybe it’s my age.  Maybe it’s something else.

 

The other day I had this conversation.

 

Me:  (defiantly walking up to my across-the-street neighbor in a pink hoodie) “Uh, pal, can you turn that music down?  It’s 8am on a Saturday and I can hear it in my bedroom.”

 

Neighbor:  “No, it’s my Saturday too and I want to listen to my music as loud as it will go.  It helps me to avoid my feelings.”

 

Me:  “Look, you’re not the only one that lives on this block.”

 

Neighbor:  “Neither are you.”

 

Me:  “Your music offends me.”

 

Neighbor:  “Your weight offends me.”

 

Okay, so that didn’t really happen.  What really happened was I asked the guy to turn down the music and he said, “Okay.”  However, those are the fights that happen in my head.

 

car stereo

Dude, I find your car stereo aggressive.

I can’t help, but feeling like the Wifesy and I have – to an extent – become THOSE people.  Those annoying elderly people that police the neighborhood and who don’t understand that Tila Tequila and Mandela could trend at the same time.

 

The only other people who I know like that are my parents.  They are wonderful, elderly, folks who are stuck in a magical time machine where a t-shirt only costs $5. Forget explaining twitter to them.  The other day I asked my mother to Fedex something and she asked me if she should bring her own glue stick to affix the label.  Dear.God!

 

Oh well, at least there’s the bitching, writing.  That I can always rely on.

 

Until next time.

 

***

Photo creds:  stereo, bat kid

 

Funny videos of me annoying my dogs.

 

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