My Cesar Milan-ish Guide to Training a Puppy, a Gayby, or a Drag Queen.
Rebecca "Sweet Mother" Donohue
Posted on March 10, 2012
I am a strict believer in all things Cesar Milan-ish. Just recently, I decided to forego my five times a week psychoanalysis for a much simpler plan. I call it the “calm, yet assertive” program. Every time an idiot in my general vicinity fluffs up some kind of mess, I simply say, “Sssssshhhht!” in the same vein as a high school librarian while turning my thumb and first two forefingers into lobster pincers that grab at the air violently. I hold a picture in my mind that always includes a tug o‘ war rope. I am at one end and my nemesis at the other. I calmly say, “Ssssshhhht!” and yank at the rope. The rope always goes my way, its flag – in…
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