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Is Your Blog Getting Arrogant?

Okay, that was a secret thought said out loud.  But it is true, every now and again, I go ‘a cyber reading, which is the sedentary person’s equivalent of taking a mental stroll.  This consists of visiting blogs, reading, liking, and commenting.  And I hate to say it, but every now and again I find myself thinking, “My, you’re a cocky blog.”  I worry about this judgmental thought.  What if it happens to me?  And what are the signs that your blog is becoming too arrogant?  I need warnings – simple things – like knowing I should put the cookies down once the waistband of my sweatpants becomes too tight.  So, I’ve come up with these neon, blaringly-bright, signals.  They may or may not be true.

 

Signs your blog thinks it’s too big for its own britches/ server.  (I assume the “server” is the britches equivalent for a blog.  However, I am not sure.  A blog’s britches could be its IP address.  You tell me, smarty pants.  Anyway, let’s start again…)

 

How to know when your blog and its curator can no longer fit in a normal sized hat.

 

1.  Its owner starts to refer to the blog as if it were an occupation, as in, “God, blogging was difficult today.  I had better put my feet up and have my housewife – who also blogs – make me that martini.”  Wife goes about making the martini, but before doing so looks up “How to Make a Proper Martini” on her favorite mixology blog.

 

2.  You look at another blog and the icon seems arrogant.  It looks at your gravatar as if to size it up.  Its little graphic-eyes seem to be saying, “What the hell are you, a stockphoto?  Get real.”

 

3.  You announce and post your blog stats everywhere and the coup de grace – you’re thinking about getting a tattoo on your stomach that shows your graph on the day you were “freshly pressed”.

 

Have you heard what happened to this nerd? Yes! Well, now you know.

 

4.  You start googling, “blog to book deal”.  Shhhhhhhssssshhhhh.  Don’t tell.  It never happened and I will deny it until my death.

 

5.  You start thinking about having a “meet up” with your favorite bloggers and commenters because they “get you”.

 

6.  If you were to make a drawing on a real piece of paper you’d sit there for a while afterwards, hoping someone would come by to “like” it.  When this never happens, you become very angry.

 

7.  You go out to Ikea and look for a display case that will hold your blogger awards.  You go on a drinking binge when someone points out that you can not display virtual awards.

 

Sweet Mother, don't you think it's time I had a shelf of my very own?

 

8.  You think everyone at tumblr must be a hormonal teenager, blogging in his or her underwear, while performing an unspeakable sex act.

 

9.  This image of the miscreants at tumblr makes you very happy.

 

10.  You can’t remember any of your life before you started blogging.  So, like the protagonist in Memento, you have to read past posts to know who you are and whether or not you murdered that girl.

 

11.  You finish this list and think, “What, pray tell, am I going to blog tomorrow?”  It makes your mouth water.  You drink a glass of something hydrating and begin again.

 

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Sweet Mother is updated daily.  Join me, by clicking the “follow” button at the top of this blog.

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If you liked this piece, you might like, “How to Fight”.

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Photo creds:  oscar-sauce, belly-stats, featured trophies

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63 thoughts on “Is Your Blog Getting Arrogant?

    1. i doubt i’ll think it’s arrogant, i love your writing. lol. but, 10,000 views is amazing. can’t wait to read it, heading over there now, and THANK YOU for stopping by here. – mother

    1. i haven’t even put up an f’en blogroll yet. i’m such a lazy, lazy girl. but, i will so do. and you will so be on it. ’cause momma loves you and all you do.

      1. I can’t even pretend playing the Big Cheese when you make comments like this… As for updating mine, I’ll leave it as a surprise until this coming Saturday.

      2. love, point, counterpoint, quid pro quo, and all that. seriously, you’re one of my faves…you and trans and a few select others have my heart. sorry, sometimes my vag gets in the way of my comments. if this is too lifetime-movie, just re-read the post.

      3. Just reading your comments make me laugh. And fuck it, you’re added to my BR, and I’m not even going to ask you for a penny.

      4. lol, sometimes comments are the most fun for reals. and you’ll be on my BR, i like calling it that – so in the know, but i REFUSE to pininterest you – mainly because i don’t know what the fuck that is.

      5. BTW, your best friend Stacie Chadwick and I just geeked about you on one of my posts, but I won’t link you to it, as this is how I roll.

  1. Oh my god, I laughed so hard my stomach hurt!! I can see myself in some of those, I think I’m going to have to check my hat size!

    1. lloooooooooollllll. every line, transman, every line. no, of course not. tho, i think i’m in there a little too…uuuuuggggggh. i need rehab! wtf. someone. help. me. blogging. too. much. drowning like the green-witch in water.

  2. Wait, wait… so mentioning hits might put me in this category. Given my previous “self-esteem issues,” maybe this is progress?? Damn, I’m just stuck on the fact that based on your last photo, you have an Oscar too! I thought I was special…. oh, wait, maybe I do have a problem. Laughing still. Thanks for that mama!

    1. my pleasure, friend. and no, i don’t have an oscar. i stole that thing like any self-respecting blogger would – with the appropriate credit, of course. as for that man’s belly – he told me i could ‘mix it up’ and mix it up, i did. glad you enjoyed that.

  3. Hahaha…loved #8+9. You know, even the people who comment on your posts are funny. How does it feel to wake up everyday sporting a red nose and big floppy shoes?

    1. it feels pretty good and there is certainly an air of drunken’ margarita spilled in the comments section today. i love that feeling, particularly before 930am. just wtf do i do now? take the day off and watch ‘tabatha’s salon takeover’? it’s not good to peak before 10am. that’s how a meth problem starts. wait, did i say that out loud?

      1. Um, I’m pretty sure they don’t say either. They would just look at us and roll their adolescent eyes. Believe me; I see those eyes daily. :)

    1. oh, we all see ourselves in there, even if only a little bit. i wrote it to keep myself from being too serious about this wonderful, yet wacky pursuit. welcome to my world and congratulations on beginning your blog. you’ll be searching for your display case in no time…lol. ;)

  4. These are two almost simultaneous thoughts I had today:

    1) What would happen if I stopped blogging? Who would really care? How would it impact the world? The answers? Nothing. No one. Not at all.

    And then,

    2) Wouldn’t it be awesomely cool to hook up with some of these amazing people at a street fair in Chicago, mid-summer, perfect weather, super-cold beer and a fav band playing close enough for me to stalk in person instead of via fan email?

    You are hitting it out of the park. And on a daily basis. Pretty amazing. =)

    1. you are the tonic that keeps the plague away. at least that’s how i think someone would graciously accept a compliment circa 1805. i hear you – blogging means everything and at the same time, it is nothing. like most of life, in some ways, if i were to get deep about it. anyway, i’m always delighted by your appearance here. and sign me up for that chicago trip, it sounds perfectomundo – like a blogging conference, but with no blogging at all. okay, now what the hell do i write today? ugh. xo – mother

    1. thank you again, dear cauldrons. it is on bended knee that i accept your compliment with the grace forced upon me by my therapist. thank you, thank you. deep, full, grin.

  5. hahah it’s like you read my mind :P I do think that people at tumblr are mostly teenagers! I joined it but I couldn’t blend in with the crowd. Here is a link to my now defunct blog http://www.riatarded.tumblr.com LOL I would love you to evaluate my wordpress!

    So, what do you think? ;)

    1. oh, sweet, ria, i was over at the tumblr once upon a time as well. sssshhh, don’t tell anyone. i couldn’t figure out what was happening and i don’t have a photography degree, so i jumped ship. i will check out your left-by-the-side-of-the-road tumblr page for sure. nothing would give me more pleasure! ;)

  6. Two things: Dude above is wrong. Everything is about meeeeeeee.

    Also, I do tumblr, and you know why? Because I’m a virtual hoarder. On tumblr I can collect all of the things that I want in real life–that claw-footed antique bathtub, a cabin on the lake, Ryan Gosling, pugs, red f-me pumps that I would fall off in real life. You know, the essentials.

    But again, all about meeeeeeeee.

  7. I am not worried about my blog making me arrogant. I am worried about it making me an alcoholic. (Okay, that’s not true. I use it as my excuse to be one.)

    P.S. I secretly hate Tumblr, but only because I’m jealous and too lazy to start over.

    1. lol!!!!! i so hear you, morgan. daily, i have to promise myself not to wine and blog. i mean, whine, whine, if any of the day-drinking police are out looking. seriously, thank you for the kind words. and tumblr, sucks. i mean, they don’t have THIS!! lol.

  8. you’re funny.
    I saw you featured on the motherboard front page selected from hundreds of millions of other blogs and you caught my eye. keep writing!!!!!!

    1. oh, background, haven’t we all? there is no shame in your game. okay, maybe there is, but that’s none of my business! thank you for stopping by here. – mother

  9. “You think everyone at tumblr must be a hormonal teenager, blogging in his or her underwear, while performing an unspeakable sex act.” Think? I know…. or is that being arrogant? Ah well. lol

    1. i was on tumblr for about five minutes (okay, a few days) and i would swear all the hormonal teenagers over there were speaking in some kind of ‘lord of the flies’ language that i could NOT for the life of me understand. oh, with their instagrams and their quotes that don’t make sense within the context of their blog… ay yay yay. i’d like to put them all through journalism school. not that i’m any better, just more self-critical, me thinks. :) anyway, have a wonderful day, jolyn and thank you for stopping by here. – moms

      1. Lol You know what else I noticed about tumblr? Not much writing. It’s rare. I guess this is the new way to blog. I guess that’s why I moved from there to here because people on wordpress actually write and appreciate it. *steps down from her tiny soapbox* And I hope you have a wonderful day as well. :)

    1. thank you for the compliment, beers. listen, i hated tumblr. HATED IT. stay here. it’s a cool place. and there are adults here and everything! lol. thanks for reading it. seriously. hugs, mother

  10. This is amazing. Item 3 may be my favorite – well, tied with the tumblr points.

    Perhaps a good follow up post would be: “is blogging making you insecure?” you know, you read other people’s blogs and they’re so funny and witty (like is one), or so artistic, or so talented? And then you spiral downwards for a bit because they’re just so awesome…

    No? That’s just me? Okay, this is awkward…. Um, keep up the good work!

    1. kristina, your comment made me chuckle and out of these hundreds that IS something. honestly, thank you for stopping by here and your kind words. i truly appreciate them. hugs and laughs – mother

  11. Amen! Glad to see I’m not the only one asking myself blogging questions. Items 5 and 6 are especially me…gotta keep in mind that for people to read my blog, I have to get out and read others’ blogs (and comment on them).

    Thanks also for “Did my post suck today?” It’ll probably be a while before I stop asking it, too. I don’t think my post sucked…I mean, I’m pretty confident…wait! Two people stopped by! :-P

    1. oh, rachael, it’s a never ending cycle. it really is. come here for support any time and as soon as i can uncurl my fingers from answering so many comments, i’ll check out your blog too. ;) – mother

    1. hello sam, yes, i am very real. thank you for the witty part. i really appreciate you stopping by and saying so. hope to see more of you around here. – sweet mother

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