The below is a list of what happens in my brain for the next 31 minutes after I hit “publish” each and everyday. Note: I only have about 1 original thought per minute, the other thoughts within that minute are variations of the original-thesis thought for that correpsonding minute.
Min 1: “Did my post suck today? It’s been a minute and there is only one “like”. Maybe it sucked.”
Min 2: “It’s Sunday, people don’t read very many blogs on Sunday, that’s a low-views day according to my stats.”
Min 3: “Oh, wait, it’s Monday. Okay, that is also a low-views day – so is Tuesday and Wednesday and hold on…”
Min 4: “I should’ve written about my Mom. People like it when I write about my Mom or my Wifesy.”
Min 5: “I don’t think I should’ve capitalized Mom in that last minute thought. PEOPLE KNOW MY GRAMMAR IS TOILET LEVEL. THEY CAN FEEL IT and that’s why they’re not reading this post. Mom? Mom, help! That’s when you capitalize Mom when it’s used like a name, jackass.”
Min 6: “I should’ve written something jokey. People like it when I joke. This should be a jokey blog, not a relationship/ family blog. God, such an idiot.”
Min 7: “This blog will never be freshly pressed. SWEET MOTHER WILL NEVER BE FRESHLY PRESSED BECAUSE GOD AND THE WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH HATE ME.”
Min 8: “God, I would love it if the Westboro Baptist Church protested this blog.”
Min 9: “Oh, wait, three more likes. It must be my time zone. It’s morning for me and an ungodly hour for everyone else in the world, right?”
Min 10: “People in Germany are reading…and Austria. Wait, I thought they were the same place. They’re not the same place? Oh christ, the Europeans can feel my shitty American public school education reeking through this blog and that’s why they’re not reading…wait, they are reading.”
I'm sorry that I only speak English and a sort-of Spanish...
Min 11: “I don’t know how to take good pictures. People don’t like this post because of the crappy photography.”
Min 12: “Wait, I just gained another follower! Oh, it’s that dude’s blog where I commented 57 times. After he did a background check on me and realized that I was not imminent threat to him or his family, he finally decided to follow. Phew.”
Min 13: “I only post once a day, that’s why people don’t care. I need to post 4,500 times a day. No one will pay attention otherwise. God, I’m so lazy!”
Min 14: “I should go do something else. If I go do something else, when I come back, people will have looked at this blog.”
Min 15: “I don’t care what other people think.”
Min 16: “I care very much what other people think.”
Min 17: “I only care what certain people think…people with taste. Everyone who stops by here has good taste.”
Min 18: “I’m more of a niche writer. I’m waiting for the niche to find me. Where the feck are you, Niche?!”
Min 19: “This should’ve been a travel blog.”
Min 20: “Blogging is dead.”
Min 21: “Newspapers are dead.”
Min 22: “Wait, am I dead?”
Min 23: “Four people came to my blog searching for Jared Leto. I need to do more posts on Jared Leto and His So Called Life…Wait, it’s My So Called Life. Mine.”
Thank you, Jared, dear.
Min 24: “Where are clownonfire, carrierubin, blackdoorpress, wendyworks, cauldronsandcupcakes, staciechadwick, transguy, and poietes? Oh my god, they must’ve been kidnapped! They must have lives! Nooooooooooo.”
Min 25: “Nobody ever uses the ‘share this’ buttons on here. No one has ever hit the ‘press this’ button, only I have ever hit the ‘facebook’ button, and some kind of ghost has activated the ‘stumbleupon’ button twice. I know because when I check the link it goes straight to porn. Porn!”
Min 26: “When I don’t see the numbers on that orange button go up, I don’t feel alive. Seriously, Sweet Mother, you need help.”
Grow, damn you, grow!!
Min 27: “Maybe my blog template is hard to read. Maybe I should write in a notebook, photograph it, and upload it. Maybe I should hire a plane and skywrite my pieces. Morose code? Telepathy? I’m telepathically sending you another post right now. Why aren’t you “liking” it! There’s a button right there next to your hypothalamus.”
Min 28: “You are so neurotic, ten people have liked this so far. You pay too much attention to this blog. It’s like your child. Just the other day your Wifesy said, I’M JEALOUS OF YOUR BLOG. And then she tried to drown it in the bathtub. Don’t you think that’s unhealthy?”
Min 29: “You need to go back to writing twitter jokes. 142 characters, you’re in, you’re out. Blogging is taking over your life. You’re like Perez Hilton without the fame or the money.”
Min 30: “People are saying nice things in the comments. The stats look good. Okay, okay. I’ll write something tomorrow, but only because you begged. Sorry. Sorry. I begged. I’m grateful. So, grateful. Thank you. Thank you for reading. I haven’t felt this good since Eisenhower was elected. God, now I’ve got to go and do something else!”
Min 31: “Wait, is it time to post again?”
***
Sweet Mother is updated daily. You can follow by clicking the “follow” button at the top of this blog.
**
If you think this blog is too arrogant, you might want to read “Is Your Blog Getting Arrogant?”
Other fun stuff:
When Daylight Savings Messes with Your Head
*
Hilarious (see I put a stop to at least some of those thought) I admit to the same bloggy schizophrenia. I think its the fact that interaction is the driving force behind blogging. At least for me.
P.S. I admit to liking this format better, I don’t have to scroll up to complete the post, but it’s your blog momma.
Oh gills, to quote Neil diamond, “u turn on my heart light”. Well that’s not exactly it, but u know what I mean. Seriously, I could’ve written an entire second post called ‘thoughts that run thru ur head’ while waiting for some attention on ur ‘thoughts that run thru ur head post’. So thank u for getting here so fast and saving me. I also hear u about the template thing. Now, if it were up to me I’d come to all of ur homes and read my posts to u at ur bedside, but my wife would leave me…
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
LOL! We don’t want that!
Blogging schizophrenia! I love it! That’s a great way to describe something I think we ALL do.
What a hilarious post! Thanks for outlining all our own blogging fears with such grace, candor, and a many laughs to boot. I was laughing out loud through the whole post!
Do you find irony in the fact that you’ve been Freshly Pressed after declaring it would never happen?! I love it!
grace. you had me at grace, joyful! thank you for such a nice comment. schizo, indeed. and this influx of comments and love may only be making it worse! thankfully, i can blog about it. arrrgh. he, he. 🙂 – moms
Brilliant. Thank you for writing this post on my behalf.
Oh sweet clowny – Eric, thank u for liking it and reblogging it. I am forever humbled by u, ur blog, ur very good taste, and ur French-Canadian charm. Merci.
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
Sweet Mother, you speak for so many of us.
I just did a public service by reblogging your post.
U are the ark angel of my blogging psychosis! Or is it arc or arch? Aaaahhhhhh.
That reply is as aesome as the post, love it.
if clown said it, it probably is.
Oh sorry i leave the w
Thank you, Jose.
Mother made me write this.
CoF
…mother always does. 😉
Reblogged this on A Clown On Fire and commented:
Sweet Mother woke up this morning, and thought: “Let me write a post for my stat-obsessed CoF blogger friend, so he won’t have to. Thank you, benevolent SM.
Umm, Mother, Mom, does this mean your blog is arrogant? I mean, you do cover a few from that list here… just sayin’. It would make me feel a lot better, because I’ve spent a week worrying about arrogance, and I pretty much do all of the above. In fact, much to my wtf/damn/oh not Mother… I had just started a post that looked an awful lot like this one! Now, I have to do something else, lest I be called arrogant, and a copy cat! Bravo! You have me laughing again, even as I second guess my own post (in draft). 🙂
It’s completely arrogant. I’ve decided that blog arrogance is inevitable like death and taxes. So I’ve decided to just go w it. Seriously, second mother, thank u for stopping by here and commenting. I do not know what would’ve happened if no one had read the ‘nuerotic thoughts that happen in my brain after I post’ post, but I’m guessing it would’ve involved some naked running out in to the streets.. so thank u. As for ur post – Write it anyway, I have no doubt it will be hilarious and remember momma loves u. – mother Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
Naked running in the street? Damn, I did that too! I think checking your posts on your 4G must be somewhere on the list too… tisk tisk. We mothers need to support each other!
Omg I’m so doing that rt now !!
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
Oh, my, if this one doesn’t get you Freshly Pressed, I don’t know what will! That was such fun to read–I laughed so loud on minute 22, my spring-breaking teenager stuck his head in my den to see what the fuss was about. See? You managed to rouse a teenage boy off of the cough–NOT an easy task. Well played, Sweet Mother, well played!
Whoops–I meant off of the COUCH, not cough. See, you had me laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes and couldn’t type straight!
Oh I’m having the same problem rt now and my thumbs are getting tired…and my wife is glaring at me…lol.
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
The fact that you mentioned the words “Freshly Pressed” automatically means that you won’t be. In fact, you have probably just been sent to the top of the editors’ super secret “Under penalty of death by Chinese water torture, DO NOT Freshly Press this blog” list.
Oh, man, I’ve contributed to blog torture. Not cool of me…
My mind on SW comments: Damn, Clown on Fire is really funny. Maybe I should follow his blog for laughs. Except that clowns freak me out. OMG! Al Gore posted on Sweet Mother’s blog. Sweet Mother has really made it big time! Oh wait, it says Rob Rubin. Could Al have a psuedonym?
what is sw? is that the other part of me? the ‘sweet woman’ part as opposed to the ‘sweet mother’. yes, clowny is very funny. where is al gore? i have some questions about the programming of current-tv and i’d like to thank him for the internet…and, oh, it’s rob rubin. well, i also love him, so all is well. who are you tuesday? their publicist? – momma, if you’re nasty.
Thank you for noticing my error and the fact that YOU CAN’T EDIT A COMMENT ONCE IT’S BEEN SENT!!! Just Tuesday of the very un-funny blog Cashmere Clouds. And I don’t get the nasty thing which is probably further evidence of not being funny.
like janet…”ms. jackson if you’re nasty.” it was obscure. and i’ve had some margaritas. don’t fault yourself! lol. anyway, tuesday, i expect to see you here everyday. and i will stop by your blog, right after i soak my hands in water due to the arthritis i have just developed after being freshly pressed. aaaaaahhhhhh. 🙂
Love margaritas. Enjoy your new found fame. Exhilerating!
until the hangover. yes. 😉
Double dammit: exhilarating.
lol.
Thank u, Carrie. U r the wind beneath my wings !!!! Lol.
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
Ok Sweet Mother, I’m going to follow just because you referenced “Janet, Ms. Jackson if you’re nasty”. I like. I like. Oh, and I love the replies to the comments. *girlish giggle*
i can’t help myself. it’s part of the addiction, but if we can all benefit then i sacrifice myself on the altar that is wordpress. wtf!! anyway, welcome, winn. welcome. much love, mother
Haha. This is the kind of post I would write. I too wonder why the hell nobody ever hits the share button….probably because my followers are the only ones without Facebook accounts.
And like me, you probably won’t be freshly pressed. But that just means your post DOESN’T suck.
Lol. Robin, u r so grt. Thank u, my sweet friend, thank u.
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
And by robin., I meant rob! I’m in the doctors office answering comments, which proves I have a problem, and the autocorrect on my phone is f*cling me ! See…supposed to be f*cking.
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
You see…the WordPress editors ARE against me! I like to think I had a small part in helping you get FP’ed.
Beautiful post just beautiful. I feel the same way anytime I do anything online. Why didn’t someone retweet my last tweet? Did this video I posted on YouTube stand a chance to gain any views? Why do I have a blog if no one comments?
I think it is a natural thing to go through. Then again today I discovered that I apparently have over 160+ followers so that made me happy.
I so hear u, shane. Thank u for stopping by here and commenting. And 160 followers that is – in the words of the snl ladies – amazeballs. So cool.
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
No worries. I commend you on sticking with the Blog Post A Day thing, that is seriously amazeballs. Something that may be out of my reach right now.
I didn’t write in my blog for more than a week, and today I finally got back to it. My husband complained the whole time; “You and that blog. You’re always writing in that blog. etc.” Then I told him it was all about him today, and he perked up somewhat. I can’t imagine how jealous he’d be if I managed to write every day, though.
I am not kidding when I said my wife was jealous of my blog. I was answering a comment and I laughed and she made a snippy comment about the blogging, which led to a mini fight, which led to her saying “I’m jealous of ur blog”. I couldn’t believe it. We laughed and all is well but still…nuts.
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
My husband DOES NOT LIKE IT AT ALL if I write about him. LOL! But he does complain that I have to post daily…what if I posted as often as I felt like…hell I’d get nothing done!
I love SweetMother and Allison, husbands are always fun, that’s why we have them!
I am so happy you got FP SM…I Know I am NEVER getting FP>>>, not sure, I think I made one of the counsel members angry….God only knows how! 🙂 Congrats on this post…it is SOOOO how we all feel. Stats Are Addictive…and the orange box…like a hit off the ‘pipe’!
Rockin’ my friend! Enjoy!!!
thank you, sweet, amber light…and wifesy DID get jealous OF MY BLOG. it’s craaaazy. now, people know about her in Finland. lol. anyway, thank you for the kind words. a bit overwhelming, but totally fun, nonetheless. xo – mother
It is a laugh-filled day in the blogosphere today, and that feels so good! If it’s any consolation, those “share” buttons don’t get much use on my blog, either. Of course, I still don’t Tweet, and FB is just my personal friends and family. I guess that could have “something” to do with it….
Fun post!
Thank u for saying so, jm. U r always a very welcome sight here. Xo mother
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
Hysterical!
Thank u, adrienne !
Very funny stuff Mother. I must admit to some of the same things. Since I started blogging, the little orange notification box on WordPress has replaced the red notification box on Facebook as my drug of choice. Also, I believe that Germany and Australia are the same country. It’s a common mistake. I have had 2 views from Germany, it must have been my Hasslehoff post. They can’t get enough of that dude.
Sweet bill, u are so rt. Germany and Australia ate the same country. They like to keep their bratwurst inside kangaroo pouches. Everyone knows this. Thank u so much for reading and commenting. It makes momma feel so much less alone !
This was perfect! I do this every time I hit publish, and of I don’t hear from Carrie, I start worrying that she doesn’t like me anymore!!!
Oh rfl, between the two of us we must keep Carrie busy all day running back and forth btwn our blobs ! So glad u liked it.
I just got this notice…how the hell did everyone else have a chance to comment before me? Is it a conspiracy? Does everyone else have some uber-shortcut and I, like the sucker I am, sit and wait for a stupid email telling me there’s a new post??
hehehe…brilliant, just brilliant (and I’m not just saying that cause you mentioned my name). I’m sure you actually tell yourself some of this and to be honest, so do I (didn’t want to say everyone just in case the rest of your followers WANT me to believe that) Ya made me laugh. 🙂
Oh, I tell myself a grt deal of it, sadly. But at least we can all get a laugh out of it. Good lord. And yes, when I don’t see u here, I wonder where u r ! Which sent me over to ur blog to find u, which led me to read a grt post. So all is well in the blogoqueer where we all seem to reside.
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
SO glad I’m not the only one. I swear the only reason I do chores and exercise at all is to buy myself some time before I check my stats after I press “publish.” It’s the blogging equivalent of going to the bathroom while you’re waiting for your food at a restaurant; by the time you return *hopefully* all the feed/feedback will’ve arrived.
Love this!!! I’ve only been blogging for a month now and I am ADDICTED!
I know it will get u, it will make u a slave. It’s like Atari when it came out or that damages series w Glenn close….wait, those are personal addictions. Anyway, thank u so much for the great comment. U rock. – mother
Oh Emily, how true that is. How true. Although how long do u sit in the bathroom in a restaurant? I hope ur bringing reading material or at least ur phone to read blogs! Anyhoo, I love ur blog and if I remember correctly from ur last post ur preggers, yes ? Congrats. Big time. Xo – mother
hello, dear emily, i tried to comment on your comment yesterday, but the cyber-monsters ate my thread. anyway, wanted to say thank you for your great comments and stopping by there…and if my reading of your blog is correct – congrats on being preggers! that’s right, geez – i hope it is – better go look now, lol. anyway, you are the bomb, thank you for visiting here.
Haha, this post sums it up perfectly. I’ve been noticing the same thing, and I’ve just gotten started on WordPress. I hope that kind of paranoia doesn’t strike me too hard!
oh, it will and it will last. unfortunately. lol. thanks for stopping by, dave. – mother
We sure do second guess ourselves! Thanks for giving all of our insecurities a microphone. 🙂 Fantastic post!
So glad u liked it, I am honored! And yes we are a quivering bunch of creative fleshblobs, buy beautiful ones I think.
All blogs are equal. Some blogs are more equal than others. Your blog is super equal (that’s a compliment).
Sara, I’m not sure what that means, but I know that I love it and ur blog…thank u for stopping by here…
It was a reference to Animal Farm…for no apparent reason. I’m a bit batty today.
Um,
and THANK YOU.
You’ll never please everyone, so write how you feel that particular day then step back and say “good enough.” Or is that enuf?
Very true, my friend, very true. One is apt to drive themselves crazy that way…oh that’s rt, I’ve already done that crazy part. I try to please me first and then I try to pls Santa Claus, if I have energy left. The elves tell me he likes the writing. Once again, thank u for a lovely and insightful comment. Xo
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
Hilarious! Min 7 made me laugh so hard. I used to dream about being Freshly Pressed, but then gave up. You can only have your hopes dashed so many times without it causing some kind of emotional harm.
Somehow I haven’t come across your blog yet. I like it, I’ll definitely follow.
Thank u, curly Carl. I take a follow as the highest compliment and ill do my best not to let u down and thank u, buckets, for reading and stopping by here ! Mother
Glad to know i’m not the only crazy. 😉
Great post!
Brilliant is SUCH an overused word in the comments section of this post. I mean, really, can’t any of your followers come up with something a little more creative?
Just to prove I deserve the shout-out you gave me above (thank you sweet mother!), I’m going to use a descriptor with some balls.
Fucking awesome.
Lol. That’s why you are the bees knees ms. Stacie! Thanks for coming by. I need to hit urs and will do so tomorrow like its my job! 🙂 – mother
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
Oops…I’ve been a fan of “Brilliant” because its one of those Monty Python-isms, but I never thought of the fact that it looses quite abit without the english accent….not everything translates to the blogosphere !
us yanks know EXACTLY how you mean it and we LOVE it. cheers! – mother
I was just joking! Only overused because it’s stated so much in the comment section. But look how prescient you were…Sweet Mother was Freshly Pressed! Maybe you should start telling people’s fortunes?
wait, more importantly…you have two blogs??!! mj stepmom is not you…i’m so confused. christ. i’m ceasing the comment responses now. so tired. so tired. stoping. dying. dead. lol.
We are all different people Sweet Mother.
Day #2 Freshly Pressed Instructions:
Breath.
Drink a cocktail.
Set your DVR for Mad Men.
Respond to 1,001 comments.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Sleep.
VERY witty writing. not sure you are as unsure as you claim… and thanks for the “like” i really appreciate it. continue…
Oh, I’m unsure, which it weren’t so, but it is. Enjoyed ur blog and thanks for stopping by here. I appreciate it very much. – mother
Love this post! I have so many of these things going through my mind when I get ready to click the publish button. Plus, you are very witty! I was giggling through the entire post! 🙂
thank you, very, very much for saying so. as i sit hear, having just hit publish, again today…all the same thoughts apply! lol. it never ends. 🙂
Haha! Funny, I read this post after refreshing my stats page for about the hundredth time today 🙂
lol. yes, we all fall victims to the blog-crazies. it’s impossible not to! welcome, to my cyberworld. and thank you for reading this post!
Great hilarious post! And now your stats and followers will go off the charts!
lawd, we can only hope. we can only hope. now, will it quiet the thoughts? me thinks not! thanks for reading and stopping by here, hen.
Well apparently neither God NOR the Westboro Baptist Church hate you…
Because there you are on Freshly Pressed, page 1!
Congrats. And all those thoughts you had? We ALL have them.
Well, except minute #16.
😉
looooooolllll, holy cow, how cool. who would’ve thunk it. not me, that’s for sure! thanks for reading it. i really appreciate it. – mother
This is hilarious. Love it. Congrats on FP, too!
Halie
thank you, halie. i really appreciate that and thank you for reading it!
So funny…so true! Wait! Did the orange button just light up again? 🙂
aaaaaahhhhh, yes it did!! yay! thanks for stopping by here, candy. it means the world to me. – mother
This cracked me up 😀
thank you, friend. glad to hear it did!
How you managed to just get into my head and judge my innermost blogging thoughts is downright SCARY.
lol, i know, princess. relish in the reality that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. we are all crazy! lol. thanks for checking it out.
Reblogged this on westsideluxeliving.
thanks for the reblog, westside!
Very funny! I got to this post through Freshly Pressed, so you must be doing something right! 😉
i know, i just realized!!!! now i’ll have to point my complaints elsewhere! lol. thanks for coming by, becky. great name, btw. 😉
Hmmmm, yes. A few of those thoughts have flown through my head. I decided as long as I have views in double digets I’m doing good. Even if it is 10. And I don’t worry about getting freshly pressed.
But I do wonder why I get so many views from Pakistan. I know I wrote about Vindaloo once. And yes, I tend to use the Louisa May Alcott method of capitalization. At least in some of the older copies of the books and not the more modern reprints.
oh god, i love this commentary. oman – that’s mine. who are the people in the country of oman and why are they reading my blog? and more sadly, why didn’t i know there was a country called OMAN???!! lol. thanks for reading, and commenting, i really appreciate it. – mother
Excellent post
thank you, friend.
Thanks too, Hope to meet u one day in Congo DRC
ken Flavier
I know you are feeling morose, but perhaps you should try morse code instead of morose code 😉
Good job on being freshly pressed, it’s an awesome blog. Following!
thank you, rogue. it is totally appreciated.
🙂
I can answer the question that this title offers: yes.
Alright, not really. I was actually fully engrossed in this post because we’ve all spent our time stressing over the amount of traffic we do (or don’t) get. However, after I developed a moderate level of apathy about it, I noticed that my viewership began to increase. Go figure.
I’m glad this got freshly pressed but do not envy the low that comes after this surge of traffic. I promise to come back and look at another post though because this one was pretty damn good.
i really appreciate that, matt and i will follow your blog in return, if i’m not already. i’m in total agreement that ‘not caring’ is key. though, i KNOW i hardly ever accomplish that. – moms
Don’t bother. My blog isn’t very good.
Great post!!! We share many many similar thoughts, I have lost far too many minutes of my life thinking about the titles of my posts, grammar mistakes and my total lack of humor, and I’m not even very far into blogging and so many fewer people read my blog. =)
oh, but they will, stay strong, fellow-soldier, stay strong. and know, the thoughts will never end! lol. seriously, thanks for stopping by and reading. – mother
This is really funny! You just got inside my head and read my thoughts every time I blog or is it post? I never know which verb to use…
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! Now you can sit back and say, “They like me! They really like me!!!!” Woohoo!
i never knew i would have this much in common with sally fields!! lol. thank you, susie. i really appreciate it and i already enjoy reading your blog. – mother
Darn, lots of folks beat me to this! LOL. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! But I still think “Decently Ironed” is totally awesome, too!
losing my mind. losing it. aaaaaawwwwwwww, waaaaaaah, YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY. thank you, jm. xo – mother
standing ovation!!! your finger is on the pulse of the “smarter than average blogger” This was wonderful!
phew, a standing o! now, i will truly never get my head into any decent sized hats. honestly, thank you, incidental, i’m humbled and glad to hear that you liked it. – mother
I really did!! I draw and paint lots of hats, maybe I could design one for you (ha!)! Congrats on being freshly pressed!
Something we all torture ourselves with eh? Loved this !
so glad to hear, mj. thank you for reading it. it is greatly appreciated. – mother
That was incredibly funny, I know the feeling, but it’s a good day for me if I get 20 visits (I also don’t write that often)… keep it up!
thank you, rogerio. i really appreciate that. slowly, like turtles we do this…step by step…
Welcome to the Freshly Pressed club! I have a feeling you’ll fit right in. 🙂
I’m sorry to have to break this to you – but you’ll get no mug or keyring as a result. An outrage, I know! Fear not, I’m currently lobbying the Prime Minister of England and President of America to get this issue addressed. Once they’ve solved the problem of Justin Bieber, they’ll get right on it. 😉
Excellent work! Bravo!!
having lived in BOTH countries, i can assure you that neither will do either! but, they’ll undoubtedly agree to send troops somewhere together. lol. thank you, for the congrats. i already read your blog and enjoy it immensely! – mother
Why thank you! High praise indeed! 😀
Min. 26th is my life, every day. Well, not today, because I didn’t post anything – because everything I thought of sucked, argh!!!!! For the eight millionth time I wonder, why do I do this????
ps – congrats on being freshly pressed
THANK YOU. i am ALWAYS wondering why i do this and then i get up and do it all over again. it’s nice to meet you and have you as part of this neurotic club. welcome! and seriously, thanks for reading. – mother
Damn it! I was just about to post this same thing!!! Now I’ve just gotta make up something. Seriously funny, too true too. Congrats!
thank you, honie. i appreciate your kind words. best of luck with your next post… remember, we all feel the same! lol.
– sweet mother
Thanks, just sitting here wondering if today’s post sucked and then I remembered…I didn’t post it yet! Thanks for the reply because I was also wondering if my comment sucked until I realized your hand was probably cramped from all the replies you had to make. peace.
Nice one! I love it!
glad to hear that elmo. thank you. – mom
I love this! I obsessively check my site stats.
you are not alone, dear blogger, you are not alone. – sweet m.
I don’t know wether to be amused or frightened that you my long lost Twin? or maybe I need to get a life ?! Terrific Post, you had me smirking in understanding…..iIwill read again and again (your blog that is), and you can check your little boxes….as we all do so lovingly 🙂
markella, never fear, your long lost twin is here. now i need to slap myself for rhyming. it’s been a long two days. lol. anyway, thank you for the kind words and i’m so glad you’re going to read more. that, to me, is the highest compliment. all the best, mother
Absolutely hilarious.
glad you liked it!
I PRAY for The Rapture to relieve me from all my writing woes. I can hardly wait! (Thanks this was a hoot!)
Love MoonWynd
lol. oh, lawd. don’t we all pray for the rapture to relieve us of our word counts. thanks for the giggle and for stopping by and commenting. hugs, mother
LOL! And that’s a good way to get freshly pressed – very unique. Coooool post… congratzzz!
thank you, s-joe, thank you.
LOL – morose code!?! Love it!
PS: Stay out of my head from now on. It’s too spooky having someone else wandering around in there.
well, you keep leaving the door open! lol. and thank you for noticing the morose bit…i find it so much sadder than its buddy morse…but, sssssshhhhhhhhh! 🙂 hugs and have a wonderful day – mother
This is Hi-fricken-larious!!!! I LOVE it!
thank you, hershey. i truly appreciate your kind words. – moms
Awesome post! Bloggers are a self-torturing group aren’t they? It’s like my entire sense of self worth is based on a series of numbers each day. Lol!
Congrats on getting Freshly Pressed. Your post definitely does not suck!
oh, cb, i feel your pain. ridiculous, but sometimes true. although my dog doesn’t give a sh*t about any of this and i can see her point! lol. anyway, thanks for the congrats and hope to see you again around here. – mother
Hey, not mentioning FP worked! It was pretty awesome to see this on the FP page. So glad to know I’m not alone in having my comments and stats rule my life. My hubby is tired of hearing me run around singing, “I’m big in the Philippines!”. But you get to hang out with David Hasselhoff, who is also big in Germany (or is it Austria?). Congrats on being Decently Ironed and Freshly Pressed!
Here is another comment for you. maybe another spot on the map too, just please don’t confuse Sweden with Switzerland 8they are the ones with money and chocolate and we ….well we are the ones without it 😉
i will try very hard not to confuse the two, but if i do i blame my crappy american public school education. we are lucky to learn the capital of new jersey and then we are luckier still if we can unlearn it. lol. thanks for stopping by here.
Hahaha Yeah I hear you. So Sweden north of Europe and Switzerland south of Europe 😉
Not that countries matter anyway. Aren’t we all just people.
perfect love!
I guess I am one who does not press the like button, stumble button or any button or even worse never write comment. But here I am, that must mean I really do like this post.
Great job.
thank you, coming from a non-presser that’s a huge compliment! lol.
I am on wordpress..I thought it shows when I comment….either way, once again great post.
don’t worry, sweet kella, much like the movie, “avatar” – I SEE YOU. your comment is here. it has been read and i am grateful for your kind words. so, thank you. – mother
So, so funny. You’ve done a great job of chronicling and characterizing the mental chatter of a blogger. This post is definitely worthy of freshly pressed. Congratulations!
thank you for that sweet comment. i truly appreciate it. – mother
Thanks for the laugh, that was hilarious and terribly close to home 😉
glad you liked it, tamari. thanks for stopping by. – mother
so funny. I’m this way about Twitter. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!!
thank you, i appreciate that.
Brilliant post! It is exactly how I feel straight after publishing mine, and I know a few others that have the same feelings.
yes, it is always good to know we are not alone. thank you for the kind words and for commenting! – mom
Very funny, loved all of it and love that its not just Freshly Pressed, but in the No.1 spot, I had someone from Trinidad & Tobago today – I think WordPress is going to improve the basic world geography knowledge of the blogging community. But I am also saddened to see the little red crosses, does that mean some pages are being censored in some countries?
Bonne Continuation!
god, i sure hope not. i’ll have to look into those little red crosses. so, interesting. i was not aware. it is INSANE how blogging opens up the world, isn’t it? in a good way. anyway, thank you for stopping by here and the kind words. i feel truly grateful and humbled today. enjoy the sunshine, where ever you may be. hugs, mother
Writing extraordinarily everyday is damn near impossible.
Some days will always be better than others. Ride the wave, surf, relax.
Kudos for putting yourself and your thoughts out on the web !
how right you are, my friend, how right you are. but, write everyday i must. so here i am. thank you for swinging by and commenting. it is much appreciated. – mother
Hilarious! 😀
glad you liked it, rashmi. thank you.
Oh my Gawd (yes this is texan drawl worthy!) – I go off the grid for a while and you go and get yourself freshly pressed?!? Yay, you rock! Congrats.
I’m beginning to suspect that W.P. actually does have people in charge with good taste 😉
Enjoy the ride – I hear it’s something! 😀
How do you even find out where your blog is popular? I’ve never seen that option. For all I know, people in Israel or the Phillipines could be reading my blog.
stats link, upper left hand corner of your blog bar, near the top. now don’t hate me for telling you where it is…because now, you will NEVER be able to tear your eyes from it…
you know, right after I left that comment, I found it on my stats page. talk about embarrassing. And you’re right, I won’t be able to tear my eyes away from it.
Who’d have thought people in India were reading my blog?
I am right there with you . . . although some consider my blog porn so you may not want to look O.o Is that bad?
porn = bad? millions of dollars would tell you otherwise… thanks for stopping by here, cerebral. i appreciate it.
Millions of dollars? I MUST be doing something wrong! Maybe it’s my niche. 😀
😉
No, I enjoyed reading it!
thank you, ryan.
I’m pretty certain that you crawled inside my brain and wrote this post…
Brilliant! SO glad you were Freshly Pressed today…makes me realise that I’m not the only one who thinks this way! 🙂
oh, definitely you’re not the only one. there’s a whole army of us nut-balls over here in blog-land. glad to meet your acquaintance though and THANK YOU for stopping by here.
Congratulations on being FP’d! I’m Stacie Chadwick’s blogging bestie and Transman and I are best buds from college, btw – and now I’m going to follow you because everyone has been telling me how hilarious your blog is, but I’ve been so self-centered and preoccupied with myself, my blog, and my little life of packing and preparing to move that I had not taken the time to properly read your blog. And now I have. I’m pretty sure I’m a better person for it. In fact, I’m certain that I’ve added a good 37 days to my lifespan because I laughed – a lot – while reading your post, and I hear laughter is good for your health.
So thank you for that, Sweet Mother! Now, the bad news. Now that you’ve been FP’d, it’s all going to get worse. You will not be able to tear your eyes away from your statistics – ever. I’m slowly going blind. All I do is type, squeeze drops into my eyes and click the reload button. As far as your Wifesy is concerned, this is going to be the worst thing that ever happened to you. Think you’re obsessed now? Ha! Now you’re getting your taste of fame – and you’re going to want that flavor on your taste buds ALL THE TIME. I speak from a place of knowledge. Trust me on this. Before, you asked the question, “When will I be Freshly Pressed?” Now, you will ask the question, “When will I be Freshly Pressed again?” You will wonder if there is waiting period before it can happen. You will read about people who have been Pressed three times in six months – and you’ll wonder if you’re falling behind if this doesn’t happen to you. (Yes, I’ve just hit the two month mark and I’m slowly beginning to freak out because I haven’t been Pressed again! Where did I go wrong?)
On the other hand, you’ve got some pretty awesome fans (and they just got a little awesomer now that I’m on board) – particularly Stacie Chadwick, Transman, and Clownonfire! Try to enjoy it – and when the day comes that you only get 27 hits in a day, shoot me an email and we’ll commiserate together. We’ll also plot to get the Westboro Baptist Church to ban and protest the both of us. That would be fucking awesome!
Seriously, congratulations. Amazing blog. You definitely earned this FP!
thank you, cristy. we are going to talk about this! in detail. lol. i’m hearing and listening to everything your saying – write now my heartburn is raging and fingers are cramping, but carry on i must….and we will revisit everything you’ve said here. oh, i promise, like acknowledging the black cat that crosses in front of you…i am heeding your warning! xo – mother
I just have to make a small comment here. Not on Cristy’s brilliant flow ’cause no one can touch that, and really, it’s not smart to mess with genius. Just the fact that Cristy is my blogging bestie and Transman and she are best friends from college and both Transman and I were called out in your award-winning post, and now Cristy is following you and three of the four of us have been freshly pressed which would seem like a totally powerful common denominator and maybe we should all go buy lottery tickets with the numbers 6-6-6 in them, and on and on and on. What I’m trying to say is that if my super-secret powers of predicting freshly pressed bloggers is correct, Transman is next. Someone needs to tell him to hire an attorney and an accountant and a bodyguard and a PR person and all that stuff ’cause life is about to change more dramatically for him than he already thinks it is.
No doubt. And Transman will hit it bigger than any of us could ever hope for. And he will totally deserve it! He rocks!
true dat, sistah. true dat. i have always believed – and i will always tell my gayby – “You are the company you keep.” Even in the blog world. So, there’s that. and stacie, on a personal note, i’m grateful – TO YOU – that you were so kind to my blog in the early days, a mere 60 days ago, when i didn’t know what the feck i was doing quite yet. (not that i do now) you saw something in me, like the dirty girl who wears overalls to school in the romcom movie, you saw the model…and for that, momma is grateful. read her, people, read her!! …if you aren’t already. xox – mother
How did you manage to get into my head and then write down all my thoughts so damn quickly? Nicely done!
well, you left the door open, crissy. 🙂 thanks for stopping by here and commenting. i really appreciate it. – moms
I started writing recently, but I accede with your points. I don’t know, In one day, I check my wordpress page myriads of time and every time, I anticipate to see notification, because somehow it makes me feel worthy of something and more robust. 😀 When I see comments, I really feel good from inside. (: And your blog really cites what a blogger feels when he posts something and what he really anticipates from everyone else. (:
And by the way, I’m reading your blog in India and I believe you’re an awesome writer and we share a common like: Jared Leto is a remarkable actor. After watching his movie, Requiem for a dream, I started to like his acting capabilities. Recently, I came to know that he is a lead singer in a band, 30 seconds to Mars. Awesome to know that. 😀
thank you. i really appreciate that. one of my best friend’s is from india. i know like saying your best friend is black, over here! but, it’s true. she’s gudrathi and i know i’m spelling that wrong. seriously, thank your for reading and the lovely commentary. i hope you’ll come back and read more.
yes, we all do. it’s like a disease. you can come here and we’ll virtually hug like bloggers lost at sea….
As a new blogger i found this post sooo incredibly hilarious bcause im constantly analyzing my posts and stats…nice to kno it will never change! Congrats !
nope, it’s a constant like death and taxes. we can only know that we are not alone. that is all we can do. lol. thanks for stopping by here, new friend.
I’ve been posting for a couple of years and it still feels like watching a pot will not boil.
oh, chris, i so understand. keep the faith, good sir. keep the faith. – mother
I just started blogging and can only hope to post something as witty as this. After reading it I just had to become a follower!
thank you, aj. a follow is the HIGHEST compliment a blogger can pay another blogger and i deeply appreciate it. – mother
Oh man, I do this same thing. I pour a lot of time into my posts, doing a lot of good research and I only get a few hits. So sad! Thank you for this post!
my pleasure, kally. thank you for reading it.
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! Great post! I thought I was the only one who was that neurotic about her posts.
thank you. i really enjoy your blog and am already a reader. and yes, completely neurotic, probably will never end…and such is life… 🙂 – mother
If all the neruoses ended, I’d probably be neurotic about that and worry about why I had stopped worrying. You’re right. It will never end.
Thanks so much for reading my blog. I always enjoy your comments 🙂
Congrats on the FP! This was a riot. Of course, I’d be THRILLED if, 28 minutes after a post, my orange button had a 10 on it… even if it was 10 replies to comments I’d left on other posts!
🙂
thank you, shannon, i appreciate it. and yes, half of those were probably responses i left to other people!!!!! the craziness never ends. lol. thanks for coming by.
You’re welcome. That was a fast reply, by the way!
i’m an addict. thinking about having my fingers surgically attached to the keyboard…
LOL. They have an app for that…
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed. Apparently that day’s post did not suck. You captured those post-publish-button-pushing mental gyrations pretty well. Love your blog.
yes, it seems so, now doesn’t it? and thank you for the kind words about the blog. it’s nice to know i’m not blogging into the abyss anymore. so, thank you and i hope to see you again on here. – mother
Lol! Well you gotta lot of likes on this one! And hit the neurotic nerve of all us bloggers! Looooooooool!
glad you liked it, sandra.
Who knew the secret to being Freshly Pressed was to put forth in public your insecurities over never being Freshly Pressed? This is a strategy I’m going to have to borrow. Thanks for sharing – funny stuff here!
thank you, mark. i appreciate that. i always hold close to my heart the ‘ask and ye shall receive’ mantra or in my case, ‘jokingly yell and someone will listen’ eventually… lol. thanks for stopping by.
Okay, are you kidding me? This is genius/epic/funny/witty/where was I going with this again…. enjoyed (:
THANK YOU for saying so. that means a lot to me, indeed.
Loved this. Get outta my head. I currently have a big fat gray zero, no orange button. It’s been like that for days and I feel this withdrawal happening. Oh, god, I have to post again to get that rush again! It’s really a drug this blogging thing. Congrats on Freshly pressed!
thank you and stay strong, fellow soldier. i’ve read your blog and it’s a good one! – mother
Haha! Spot on! 🙂
http://bitterfia.wordpress.com
cool. glad you liked it.
I’m not going to lie, i was thinking like some of the things mentioned in this article too. For first time bloggers i can see how confusing this concept can get and by not finding some way to stay in touch with your followers can hurt your viewership. So learn to branch out people and don’t forget to help each other -,o
http://wp.me/2aAA8
very true, my good man, support and connecting may just be the key to success…or at the very least a release valve on the insanity. thanks for coming by here, mother.
lol, well i appreciate you mentioning these kind of troubles in this article. We have all been there before but i guess we were all too proud to talk about it huh? -,o
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! I can’t believe it didn’t happen sooner.
jen, seeing my regular readers on here is like being thrown a buoy doing a tsunami. so, THANK YOU for coming by and saying something and the congrats and all that. xo – mother
you’re funny and i can see myself in you. I’m not a good writer but a very frustrated blogger lol. 🙂
thank you and i’m very glad you liked it!
OMGosh! LOL! And I thought that I was the only one that did something VERY similar to that. thank you Thank you THANK YOU for making me laugh and not feel so out there.
my pleasure, we are all slightly out there in our own ways. lol. glad you enjoyed it. – mom
Story of our life much? Your blog is hilarious-following you 🙂
2chicgurls
http://www.2chicgurls.com
thank you!!! i never take a follow lightly and i truly appreciate it. really glad you liked it. duly humbled, virtually curtseying…:) – mother
Your welcome! 🙂
Hahaha, I have to admit This is so me…i literally spend the first 20 minutes after i share a post refreshing the stats page constantly hoping that someone, anyone likes what I just wrote.
I love this by the way 🙂
i’m so happy to hear that, dee. understand, you are NOT alone! lol. this post being fp’d is like an intervention for us all…which is great ’cause i love ‘intervention’. anyway, i hope you come by here again. and thank you for the kind words. – mother
congrats man
thank you, human. – mother
Awww this is god! I play this game – all the negatives are usually true for me hough – I think I’ve only ever had 6 likes. Hehe!
stay strong, cheeky!! time heals all blogging wounds! thanks for stopping by here. – mother
Thank you 🙂 bx
I meant good*
and though* stupid laptop!
I would really like this a lot more if it was one of 4500 posts today.
like. i’m hitting the imaginary ‘like’ button for your comment. – moms
You’re funny! Very funny! (and now Finland will be on your stats map!)
yay, finland!!! FINALLY. That’s been my cheer anyway, ‘Finally Finland’ and now at long last finally. 😉 seriously, thank you for stopping by here and the sweet comment, heather. – moms
Following too! Just couldn’t help myself. great discipline to be able to post daily. I would if I could, but i can’t so I wont 🙂
i totally understand, heather. and it CAN be a pain in the tukus, but out of that pain comes posts like these…so, maybe that’s something. regardless, thanks for stopping by here and saying so. i really appreciate it. – moms
bahahahaha story of my life. and I get maybe 15 views ever. Also…you’re freshly pressed 😀
thank you for coming by here and relating. man, good to know, we are not alone!!! it’s like space odyssey…sort of. 🙂
I feel like being Freshly Pressed is a catch-22! You have anxiety from having no blog readers and anxiety from having hundreds over night! But I wouldn’t know. Well done to you!
thank you, daffodils. yes, i fear this will help to grow a whole new crop of anxiety…but, at least i get to write about it, te, he. 🙂 – moms
funny one 😛
thank you, amigo.
Nice! It is like about my blog 😀 😀 :D. But in my blog the most popular comment are… spam comment! 😀 😀 😀 So You see, everything is ok with your blog 😉
yes, all is well today in sweet mother-land. thanks for coming by. 🙂
Reblogged this on Utter Brain Ache Dot Com and commented:
Because it’s true – and look, 30stm folk – they even speak about Jared 😉
thank you for reblogging, mimi. jared is the man-crush for us ALL!! lol. – mother
And, plus, I always do the same – I’m like… WHERE ARE MY FREAKING PAGE VIEWS! HIGHER, HIGHER! Hah! 😉
like. i’m hitting the like button on your comment! lol.
Lol even though I haven’t been here too long, I’ve been on fanfiction.net and that’s EXACTLY how I feel all day after I post. Ahhh! I’m going to post my story from ff to here. Wish me luck!
godspeed, sweet, blue, godspeed! and thank you for stopping by here. – mother
Lol XD. No prob! ^_^
Great post! Visit mine if you’d like, and message me if you would like to advertise on my blog.
thank you and will do. – moms
So aptly put and funny too. You made my day.
Thank you.
thank you. and you made my day in return. so, we’re like a couple of blogging dirty harrys, i suppose. 😉 – mother
This is perfect! There is no worse feeling than spending hours (DAYS EVEN) on a blog and no one comments on it.
I am always surprised by what search terms bring people to my blog. ‘Baseketball court’ gives me hits every day and I have one picture of a baseketball court out of thousands of other pictures. Same with Jackie Chan. I am also a little creeped out to find that someone is clearly obsessed with my sea sickness, they google for it every other day.
oh, yes, miss…the stats board can reveal all levels of odd stalkers. but, that’s an entirely different post, indeed. thank you for reading and commenting here. mother is very grateful.
This is hilariously accurate. Good job!
thank you, mike. i appreciate you saying so. – ma
The epitome of awesome = this blog post.
the epitome of awesome = this comment! thank you, ks. that was very sweet. and thank you for saying so. – mother
I feel the same way, but I never get that many visitors anyway… 🙂 It’s mostly my friends and family who read and comment.
Maybe I should start writing more interesting things, and not do it in Swedish 😀
oh, man, we wish we could speak Swedish over here, let me tell you. Truth be told, I wish i could speak a little bit of every language – so i can complain in each one! lol. i think it’s always friends and family in the beginning. so, stay strong, my sweet, swede. yours will come. – mother
😀
Jaunty fun! Subbed!
you had me at jaunty! thank you!
Where’s your blog? I want to read it again!
lol. i think you’re at it? it’s http://www.sweetmotherlover.wordpress.com — oh, you’re probably reading it now. i’m tired. 🙂 – moms
Found it! 🙂
This is hilarious. If you’re like me, now you will worry about when you will NEXT be Freshly Pressed. It’s been over a year for me–and that is killing me!
Hugs,
Kathy
oh, lawd, kathy. i’m told from other fp’ers that this never ends!!!! well, at least we can commiserate and blog about it. ay yay yay. thank you for stopping by here and hugs to you too! – moms
Brilliant, I chuckled my way through this.
really glad you liked it, cz. thank you. – moms
Yes, Jared Leto is a beautiful man ❤ I certainly wouldn't hold you back from writing more of him in the future either ^.~
Awesome job on this though ~ so funny! Congrats!
thankyou, kitania. i appreciate that. – mother
Entertaining post. First thing that pops in my head as I’m pressing the publish button is min.1 though, then follow min .11-19 with that min.1 question still sitting there. Thats when I ask myself why I do this to myself. Thank goodness I just post 2-3 times a week. haha~
Congrats on being freshly pressed! Now you won’t need to think of min.7 (or not as much as before?)
lol. i think the key there is ‘not as much as before’…because i’m told IT NEVER ENDS. regardless, THANK YOU for stopping by here and for the enjoyable comment. – mother
German and Austria haven’t been one country for a long time. The last time we were was from 1938 until 1945. We do however both speak German.
Says the history buff from Germany.
oh, sweet, andreas, i don’t think my high school social studies textbook had been updated since 1943! that must explain the problem, thus is the problem with the one of very few social programs we have here in the states – education. our only other one is the fire departments and they have no idea where europe is at all. i’m totally teasing you. but, THANK YOU for stopping by here and informing us all of this. because i can guarantee you (sadly) that most americans don’t know anything about it. 😉 – mother
haha Nearly every minute there feels so very familiar…
he, he. wink, wink, glad you liked it!
I don’t know why wordpress encourages this stuff?
they are stokers of the great fire that burns within!
Sure
Who’s been Freshly Pressed? Fuckin’ Sweet Mother, bitches! Sorry for the cussing’ mama, but this is awesome. Very well deserved.
thank you, bill. it’s nice to see my reggies here. like a lifeline, really. xo – moms
I truly admire your typing skills & integrity to reply to each comment…as well as the hilarious paranoid rant you posted. Like so many before me, your minute by minute dialogue echos my own paranoia. Congrats.
thank god you see it as integrity and not as desperation!! lol. i hated my high school typing teacher, but today i owe her an apology. a sincer, heartfelt, apology. 🙂 honestly, thank you for stopping by here and commenting. it is really appreciated. – mother
Ha, ha, ha! And I thought this was only a conversation in *my* head. LMAO. You took my insecure thoughts and blogged them, you magician you! So awesome to read this. I only *wish* I had as many followers as you do, Sweet Mother. Even my own mom doesn’t have time to read my blogs, and she’s got a super dull life. I can’t wait to read more!
thank you, laurie. saying you’ll read more THAT is the highest compliment you can pay me. i am duly humbled. and my mom doesn’t read my blog either. thank god. 🙂 much love – mother
Thanks for expressing the thoughts we all think in such a hilarious way. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
thank you, jenna. it was my pleasure! ;0 – moms
Blogs that make fun of the blogging world, yet deeply want acceptance from those in the blogging world tend to get some awesome attention (I would know, http://lizpurdy.wordpress.com/2011/09/22/an-appeal-to-wordpress/). Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
and here i thought it was more ‘fight club’ – ish. as in, ‘those who speak of freshly pressed, never get freshly pressed’. i’m happy to be dead wrong. 😉 i’ll definitely check out the link, liz. – mother
I write a blog on more news and current affairs based topics, but this post was absolutely brilliant
i like the news. and i’ve written things for restoringtruthiness.org too. so, welcome to my land. and thank you for the compliment. i really appreciate that. – mother
I have had a look around your site and there are some really good posts on it, have you any tips for getting views? as likes aren’t quite on my mind yet first I need people to read my blog
hey there mark, imho, get a facebook and twitter acct if you don’t already have them. announce your posts on there and engage, engage, engage with other blogs. that’s my two cents. hope it helps and thank you for the compliment. – mother
So funny. You are totally tapping into all of the bloggy angst out here in the world. Thanks for doing that so I don’t have to. Congrats on getting pressed!!
yes, it seems i’ve hit a nerve. who knew? thank you, stephenie. i appreciate it. – mom
I like it! I might do one of the panicky 3 minutes before I post anything on anything!!! Congrats on FP xxx
thank you, sweet, friend. i appreciate that and the more brits here, the better. used to live there myself. 😉 – mother
Whereabouts, I live in God’s own county!! Yorkshire. The most beautiful place!! x
lived in edinburgh, scotland, for two years. just got back stateside about six months ago, actually. LOVED IT. ALL OF THE UK IS LOVELY. my brother flew over for the summer – him, a friend, and my wifesy piled into a car and drove the whole of it from bath to isle of skye. such a wonderful trip. i even went to the small welsh town where my grandfather was from. a very memorable trip. glad to meet you here, even virtually, that is! lol.
Happy to meet you too, never been stateside but love the UK especially the north x
Reblogged this on Aphrodite Photography and commented:
Found this particularly funny!!
thank you for the reblog, aphrodite!
Reblogged this on A Pertinent Riot.
thank you for the reblog, hannah. it is appreciated. – mother
OMG!!! Had tears rolling down my face! I can soooo relate. I have shared, not only did I tweet this but someone walking by my desk asked why I was laughing so hard so had them stop and read it… they loved it too! I am now a follower that hopefully won’t be confused with a stalker. 🙂
stalker, follower, i’m not too picky. lol. thank you for saying so and you showed it to a work-mate! now i’m floored with excitement because i think we all deserve a laughing-break. i try to have one every hour. doesn’t always work though. too many blogging thoughts. lol. anyway, once again, duly grateful, cyber-curtseying, and even smiling too. – mother
Now I feel so much better about checking my blog stats every day. I mean, I get like 1 or 2 likes per post, so obviously I have good cause to be even more neurotic than you 🙂 Cheers!
oh, bamboo. we all are neurotic, aren’t we? lol. well, at least we can bask in the glow that is the insecurity of all of humanity…cause i think we all do this nonsense. anyhoo, thanks for stopping by here. it is greatly appreciated. – mother
What a great post! Being new to blogging, I thought I was the only one having these thoughts. Great to know that even seasoned bloggers go through this. Also congrats on being FP’ed!
if by seasoned, you mean – two months into blogging. not so seasoned really. i think this is out there for anyone to grab. even those who have mocked it mercilessly while still wanting it – like me. 😉 and undoubtedly we ALL go through this! lol. so glad you liked it and thank you. – mother
Your post probably didn’t suck today didn’t it? lol Congrats on getting pressed, that was hilarious 🙂
so glad you liked it. just when you think you know something, the wordpress gods blow it right out the window. lol. glad to be of service. – mother
You totally get the mindset , loved the post!
very glad to hear. thank you.
Thank you, for sharing your thoughts on blogging – they are exactly how I feel and felt ashamed to admit even to myself! You were brave enough to make me feel fearless about letting my fearful thoughts surface after each blog. Thank you!
“in unity there is strength” – my dear friend. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! lol. glad you enjoyed it. – mother
Ah, the man with the golden pen, I see. Very nice; you ARE gifted. 🙂
WOman, but thank you. and THANK YOU gain for the lovely comment. – mother
This is one of the few freshly pressed entries I’ve really liked. It was funny and true. Keep it up!
bitchy, you are not living up to your name with that lovely comment! lol. thank you for saying so. i know what you mean and i truly appreciate you saying so. – mother
I really liked this, I have very similar thoughts just at lower numbers 🙂
I was thrilled today with 11 likes & 90 views…Hopefully in time but I certainly recognize my own thoughts in your 31 minutes.
dearest beth, HONESTLY, i don’t think those are very low numbers at all. keep the faith, sweet sistah. time and persistence are the trees that yield the fruit of all things. oh, jesus christ, something inspirational like that. 😉 seriously, thank you for reading it. i’m glad you liked it. – mother
Very funny. I’m glad I’m not the only neurotic one out there. I see from your comments we’re all a little out there. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed 🙂
thank you. yes, it’s become quite clear that the collective subconscious is not so subconscious at all! lol. glad you’ve visited here and hope to see you again. – mother
New to blogging, and LOVE this. So true!! (Though, since I just started, your expectations have grown higher than mine. With only 22 followers so far, I sometimes don’t even get a “like”. : (… ). Haha. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
stay strong, friend, stay strong. it will come – trust me. and thank you! – mother
very good writing!
thank you, imagina. i appreciate that! – mother
Haha don’t complain, I’ve never had such blog loving like that! And thumbs up for hitting Freshly Pressed – lots and lots of likes to be proud of
it’s overwhelming, i’ll tell you that. but, in a good way. thank you for saying so. i truly appreciate it. – mother
Damn, I’m still catching up on your blog. You know only the hospital kept me away. I swear. I did keep asking for my phone so I could read your blog, but the morphine drip was too steady and I blacked out for a couple days. Thanks for the shout-out.
P.S. When can I start calling you Mom?
you can start immediately! lol. trans, we’ve missed you here. i hope you are recovering and okay. oh and the morphine, i swear an fp’d should come with a drip itself. ay yay yay. anyway, so good to see one of my reggies here – like being thrown a life jacket during a tsunami. xo – mother
Oh sure, fame will take over and you’ll never speak to me again. I’ll have to stalk you to get any attention at all.
is that what this is? jesus christ, no wonder the heartburn. no, where do i pick up the check to pay my rent. oh, riiiiigggghhhht…. lol. transy, you will always be a part of my inner blogging circle. if this blog had google+ rings you’d be in the one that means closest..plllllaaaat. i have nothing more.
I was always a needy child.
i raise you a needy child and see you a needy adult…or at least needy-ish. lol.
Better than nebbish. Nebbish and needy … ooh, social suicide.
just for using the word nebbish, you are tops in my book.
“Min 26: “When I don’t see the numbers on that orange button go up, I don’t feel alive. Seriously, Sweet Mother, you need help.””
Oh, yeah
oh, yeah, indeed! we are ALL “humans in recovery” – some of us from blogging. 😉
Absolutely!
Every writer/blogger is hypocritical enough to say we don’t care what others think and the number of likes don’t say shit about the quality of the post. But is that really true?
You put that point across very well!
Also, congratulations on being freshly pressed. 😀
oh, we ALL care, don’t let anyone tell you different. even when i try not to care, i care. it’s a viscious cycle. lol. anyway, thank you and thank you for stopping by here and commenting. – mother
I’m not too worried about ever being Preshly Fressed. What worries me most is I haven’t a clue what a HTC Inspired 4G on AT&T is. New income tax code…because we do need another one…but the real question is: does it have a loop hole I can use? Oh..wait…it’s a new country having an election primary……………..right? So…where do I vote………………..Oh SweetMother where have I gone wrong? I’ll wait another 31 minutes for your answer and then I’m outta here………………..
wait no more, my sweet, friend! here i am. lol. a 4g is one of those annoying android phones, like an iphone, but from google. so, i basically answer comments from everywhere – the toilet, the funeral, the maternity ward, everywhere. no place is sacred. ok, many places are. now, don’t worry about the freshly pressed thing bc as you can see, even when you announce, “I WILL NEVER BE FRESHLY PRESSED!” – it too can happen to you, “if you’re young at heart”. I think that was a commercial from my childhood. thank you for letting your neurotic thoughts flow here. they are welcomed. this is a safe space for everyone who is as relaxed as woody allen, as in – not relaxed at all. – mother
Oh gawd…an android speaking to me from my closet…or would it be your closet? Thanks for the heads up…I’ll be looking in sacred places. Careful…don’t trip over the rock we use to keep the outhouse door closed….and for all our sake…leave it where it is!!!
probably my closet, though i hardly use it anymore. lol. and yes, the outhouse door MUST remain closed at the very least that’s what laura ingalls has always told me. thank you, new friend. you are a fresh breeze today as you would be on any day. – moms
Morose Code. Love it.
thank you. i find it’s sadder than regular old, morse code. lol.
Morose code – for when you’re just not feeling sunny enough to send a heliograph.
(I’m sorry.)
(No I’m not.)
“when you’re feeling depressed enough to send your very saddest…” – morose code, much more sulky than the perkier morse code. thank you for noticing that bit, not many did. lol. and thank you for commenting, mackerel. momma is grateful. – me
thank you for that, jasmine. you are very kind. – mother
Is this an experiment or a practical joke by the WordPress Gods? I love it!!! I am brand new and I need a 12 step program to stop hitting refresh.
If my kids sue me later for sharing their entire personal childhood experience on WordPress…I have a plan!!!!
I am going to counter sue them for ruining my bellybutton!
For the love of God can’t anyone get out of my uterus before reaching double digits? They were like farm animals! You check out my new blog and I will check out yours. Then we can think less about our followers from countries we have never heard not really reading our stories but stealing our banking info. 😉 I am joking!
allthatmakesyou.com
this is up for ‘best comment award’, which will get you nothing, but still…it means i liked it. oh the familial suing that could go on. and unfortunately, most of what you’ve just read is very, VERY real. lol. thanks for stopping by here and for contributing that delicious comment. – moms
Reblogged this on Chicago's Still Cool and commented:
My feelings exactly! It is kind of tough getting this new blog off the ground and getting people to read it!
thank you for the reblog, jimmy. yep, it’s a tough road. wp is great though, ’cause they have stuff like this. thanks for stopping by. i think, perhaps, i’ve hit a chord here. lol. – mother
No worries
I like the blog 🙂
-jimmy
This was brilliant. Well done on getting FP. So glad I’m not the only one who is obsessive about blogging. Didn’t read all the comments, but it looks like there are many of us out there. The worrying thing is I only started blogging properly on 1st March and I’m already way out of control. Aagh!.
oh, it happens SO quickly and it is a slippery slope from there, dear fiona. I am only two months in myself and thinking of checking myself into a blogging rehab, but i think it would be no use as the first thing i would ask is, ‘do you have wireless?’ anyway, thank you for coming by here and i hope to see you again. – mother
LOL, I love #23. I write a beer blog and once I wrote a quote about Ben Franklin and the most of the people who stumble across my blog are searching for “Ben Franklin Photos/Quotes”. There have been a couple of times when I thought, “Can I work Ben into this post, also?
Great work, congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
wrote “about” a quote from Ben Franklin…..sigh….
thank you, new friend. and i love beer. so, i’ll be checking out your blog. it’s amazing what people search for and then end up on my blog…i’m guessing most of them looking for ‘ladybug three way’ are disappointed. lol. and yes, you should ALWAYS work ben franklin into a post. – mother
Reblogged this on Blab Central and commented:
Something that it hilariously relatable.
thank you for the reblog, mademoiselle. i greatly appreciate it! – mother
You’re welcome! I just discovered your blog through Freshly Pressed and I love your posts. 😀
thank you. that is very kind. 🙂 – me
Been there done that! Congrats, on getting freshly pressed.
lol. haven’t we all, now. thank you, kind, marta. i appreciate it. – mother
LOL!
I only commented and liked out of sympathy for your ego. 😉
Kidding! 🙂
I usually have one thing that goes through my mind: I need more blog friends. Time to visit random blogs.
*wave*
stephanissima, i’ll take you however i can get you. 🙂 was that too much? anyway, we all need blogging friends without them, how would we survive. mine are wonderful, if you happen to click their links. much love and a multitude of thanks – mother
Great post… I think that is how one feels; once they get their blog popular among certain people.
I think “that is why God doesn’t let people visit my blog at all.” (sobs)…
Wee, I am definitely gonna follow you… once I get to read such “beautiful” thoughts every day, my life would be much more easier to deal with.
Dear sweet mother, you are great… and well yes, congrats on being freshly pressed.. 🙂
oh, anxious, thank you for the kind words. and i can relate, oh, i can relate. but, the gods have smiled on me today and brought me great gifts, such as you – so, all is well, until tomorrow, at least. and thank you, dear friend, i truly, truly appreciate it. – moms
Hahaha. There’s definitely a lot of truth here. My blog’s a bit small time still, so instead of happening over 31 minutes, it takes place over the course of a whole day. I mean, I even use the WordPress app in my phone to keep track of visits and everything.
oh, joe, as a fellow wordpress app user – i have it installed on my 4g – i feel your pain. and yes, i could expand that list to take place over a full day, but i fear my family would have me hospitalized. lol. thanks for stopping by here and i hope to see you again. – mother
Hahaha this is fantastic! I know the feelin too, “why don’t people like me???” Oh a few people liked the post all is well in the world. hahaha
it’s a disease, sarah! a disease, i tell you. lol. so glad you liked it. and thank you for coming by and saying nice things. – mother
Ya totally! Congrats on getting freshly pressed!
Hahaha it’s so funny to me because I do the same thing 🙂
oh, lawd, we all do. we all do. 🙂 glad you liked it.
Lol super funnyyy! I literally just started my blog like 2 weeks ago and it totally takes over my life. Unfortunately, I get like 40 hits a day if I’m lucky. Read my blog if you get a chance and let me know what you think! share if you like it 😉
glad you liked it, alexis, and as soon as the carpel tunnel syndrome that i developed today BACKS OFF…i’m there! all the best, mother
Oh, man, this is hilarious! I had a rough work day and really needed this laugh. Kudos. And CONGRATS on being freshly pressed:-)
so glad to hear that. life is too hard and i’m glad this brightened your day. your congrats are much appreciated over here, i can assure you. hope to see you again soon. – mother
Hysterical! I am glad I am not the only one who obsesses over this! You have great ‘voice’ by the way. I wouldn’t worry about sucking
jackie, jacqueline, jax – can i call you jax? thank you for saying so. you have even used the illusive ‘voice’ term, which leaves me humbled. so, i am grateful and you have relieved me of my suckage-anxiety…at least for the next moment or two. lol. – mother
hehe good job! and so far, no this didn’t suck!
phew, no i can rest. 😉 thanks for reading, baki. sweet mother appreciates it. – me
I totally can’t relate to this at all. Just kidding. Love it.
lol. so glad you liked it. 🙂
I know how you feel MOM.
MOTHER LOVES YOU. never forget that. and the alamo. and by alamo i mean ozzy osbourne peeing on it. – mother
Dude I hear you. Blogging will make you completely insane. I have decided that I cannot pinpoint what interests people – so far no rhyme or reason. Maybe I should write about my mom. Or your mom. Whichever.
never underestimate the power of mom exploitation for blog writing. it works! lol. thanks for stopping by here. great name btw, as it is mine, as well. 😉 – mother
Noted. Post about mother’s mother coming right up. woohoo!
fists up! power to the people!
Good writers are hard to find and job offers are few..
Thank goodness for WordPress,being freshly pressed and you!
and thank you for that rhyme, dearest radical. not enough people rhyme in the comments section. it is wonderful and has brought a smile to my face that you have done so. and i second that thank goodness for wordpress line too. hugs and kisses, mother.
Reblogged this on Egill and commented:
Fünny! 🙂
thank you for the reblog, kind person. i appreciate it!
Min 10: Hi, you have a new reader from the Netherlands. Very close to Polynesia and Sweden. One original thought /minute?! I had one 30 years ago and I`m still waiting for the next one. Nice post.
That is Nice in France.
lol. we here at sweet mother and by we, i mean I, love the netherlands. so, welcome. yes, they come slowly for me, those original thoughts, but as long as they come…and my guess is you have more of them than you give yourself credit for. much like your very original comment. 😉 – mother
Lol. This is so funny.
so glad you liked it, jessica.
Hahaha. Haha. Nice.
glad you liked.
As someone who isn’t going to get on Freshly Pressed ever and averages 2-3 likes A WEEK, the fact that you get a like in the first minute of a post makes me jealous.
ah, jealousy…one of the many signs of blogging psychosis. first you want more likes, then you want larger graphs, then you want reblogs, then you lose your job, and your car, and your family asks you to stop… careful what you wish for. lol. seriously, if it can happen to me, it could happen to you…
HAHA! Right?! Blogging times are hard times! I read this and thought, “10 likes?!” and then I mentally went through all of the thoughts on the list. lol So true.
so glad you liked it, cb. we are all a bit nutty in cyberland. best to throw open the windows sometimes and say, ‘it’s just a blog’. wait, did i just say that? i take it back. i didn’t really mean it. thanks for coming by here. 🙂 – mother
Great post!!
thank you, runner girl.
I’ve never been liked. Except by myself. That’s sad….
Only written three so far but have becme numbers obsessed!
i bet your liked by more people than that. i like you just from your comment, so there. oh, it takes so little – one post for me and i was HOOKED. there will be no stopping you now. 🙂 – mother
Hopefully I’m liked generally – at least by my parents…
Lol! Loved it. I can relate to so many of these!
i hear you, lube. sorry, i couldn’t resist that. thanks for stopping by. mother loves you! – moms
Very humorously inspired because many blogger tend to think that. We may social networking our button off to only receive less than 10 responses. A nice way to explain the blogger mind within 30 mins.
May God bless you my friend!
thank you and same to you, my friend.
Reblogged this on freechick and commented:
Love it, though I have to say I’d love to have as wide a demographic and as many views as yours! But it is funny how addictive it can be to look at who, if anyone, has read what you’ve posted 🙂
thank you, for the reblog, freechick. i suppose i had those views in the beginning because i have a decent facebook and twitter following from the whole comedy thing i’ve done for years before i got into this blogging thing. that helped, for sure. though, the comics i know all had in the thousands when it came to website views, so i felt like a loser. it never ends. the self-judgement never ends. best to pretend the numbers aren’t there. that’s mainly impossible though. – mother
Love the insecurities.. I think ever blogger has them. That’s why I try very hard not to check the stats. Congrats on being freshly pressed. 🙂
thank you. i really appreciate that. i admire your fortitude. i find them completely difficult not to check. clearly. lol. – mother
Hahaha this is too funny i found my self in couple of these
http://arhitekturaplus.wordpress.com/
it’s good to know you’re not alone, eh? thanks for stopping by here and commenting. – mom
Funny stuff… I don’t take it all too seriously, I rarely get comments and super jazzed if I reach 100 hits in a day. But you see… I am sick,writing for me is like crack… If I don’t write, I may lose my mind.
And I have a “niche” I write about motorcycles and the love of the ride.
Congrats of being Pressed. I guess those numbers are looking good today.
it sounds like you are winning the blogging battle then, iedaria. writing is also like crack for me. i do it EVERYDAY and more than anything else. i’m determined to do it. it’s like a disease. honestly, thank you for stopping by here and as soon as i can uncurl my fingers from the keyborad, i’ll check out your blog. i mean, who doesn’t like a nice hog from time to time? you say that in the motorcycle world, right? ugh, i’m such a dork. – mother
ugh, I wish I had half the views…lol (that’s what I’m thinking about when I read your post lol).
careful, you’ll be writing a post on my post if you let your brain go there… lol. seriously, we all feel the same way. you are NOT alone. keep the faith. – mother
I love it! This is exactly how I feel every time I publish a post. I feel like it’s a pretty good post, then I get barely any views at all, probably because the title sucks, or the post just sucks. Or my publicize isn’t working. Or whatever other reasons I can come up with. 🙂 Although I probably don’t blog enough, not on a particular schedule. 🙂
Great post! Congrats on Freshly Pressed!
thank you, samantha. it’s nice to know we’re not alone, huh? i think we – of the blogosphere – share a brain on this one or something. thank you for the kind words. – mother
HA! I was laughing really hard at this. This is so true for many of us I think. And now that you’ve become freshly pressed it is going to become worse. I think we become snobs about our stats and get really pissed when the page views drop from 10,000 a day.
oh. dear. god. is that what awaits me. i do NOT want to be the first blogger to have a susan boyle moment and be rushed to the hospital for stats under 10,000 – jesus christ, what have i done? lol. i’m glad you liked it, bettie. seriously.
– mother
I enjoyed this a lot. Great post
thank you, stephen. i’m glad you did. – mother
that is really funny, yet very true!
all true, skye. all true. like a verbal scan of my brain, really. thank you for the kind words and thank you for stopping by here. – mother
Congrats. Very original. One reader from Malaysia!
thank you, Malaysia. Welcome to my cyberworld. with love, sweet mother
Hey! I really liked this article. I was just messing around looking for blogs to read, and this actually made the top page or something. I don’t even remember now.
Anyways. I don’t know how into music you are, but I’m trying to get a crowd for my music blog, so check it out please or maybe tell someone about it! I have…2 followers.
I’m going to look around the rest of your blog now!
XoXo Radium Rollercoaster
glad you liked it, radium. and as soon as i can uncurl my cramping fingers from answering all these comments, i will check out your blog. lol. stay strong, my friend. the tortoise wins the race. – sweet mother
Stumbled upon you on Freshly Pressed. Brilliant post as you know by the level of commenting. Stats off the charts today…Brilliant strategy. (hmmm.protesting one’s post…)
yes, stats are definitely off the charts. but, i will say it was less of a strategy and more of a reality. in fact, if you look at some of the original comments, we were all joking that ‘saying you want to be freshly pressed, never gets you freshly pressed’ – i’m glad to be wrong on that one! lol. seriously, shandra, thank you for stopping by here. – mother
tongue in cheek with all the rest. 🙂 but seriously, Congrats!
Wow you have soooo many comments on this post! It’s just incredible! I really like your post it’s witty and interesting to read 🙂
thank you, nonfashionista. i really appreciate you saying so. hope to see you again. – mother
Best. Post. Ever.
Best. Comment. Ever. THANK YOU. – mother
I shall follow you! This post was absolutely hot. I loved it. I couldn’t stop laughing, because it’s like we have the same thoughts. I freak out all the time because no one reads my blog. Except for stalkers. 😉
I’m always checking the stats. I even set WordPress to my home page in Google Chrome so that I can check it and be reminded of my failure every time I open up the internet machine.
Well, have a lovely day 🙂
oh, taryn, wordpress on your home page, you are a sick child, indeed. don’t worry, there’s room on the boat for you. we’re all here doing the same thing, praying someone comes by…lol. seriously, thanks for the kind words. i take a follow as the highest compliment and you have a lovely day, as well.
Oh my God, I’m starting to fear that I might end up with “blogging Schizophrenia”. Haaah! The signs are everywhere already! (^_^)
we are the afflicted, helen. you are not alone. stand strong. we will throw you a life raft – you can check your stats from there. lol. – mother
Did you notice??? You are freshly pressed! Yahoo!! 🙂
notice? hardly. i mean, I’M DROWNING OVER HERE. lol. happily drowning though. it’s fun. like a blog explosion…but, so nice to see my reggies, like you, wendy. it feels, i don’t know, like a beer after a busy day. 🙂 moms
thank you for the reblog, new friend. i truly appreciate it. – mother
mrfantasyfreak.blogspot.com
thoughts? its a sports blog
as soon as i can stop the swelling in my hands, i’ll give her a look…
Hey, after eons of agonizing we both got Freshly Pressed today… Congrats, it was well deserved. I found myself laughing out loud several times at your, and frankly, my own well-reflected and represented, neuroticism. Really enjoyed this post. You’ve a new follower in me, and I promise I won’t get kidnapped, or go and get some sort of life outside of compulsively checking My Stats. I promise.
Keep up the good work….
-B. Littleton
B! Congrats to you as well, dear friend. i hit the follow button immediately when i saw the lovely photos on your blog. it’s nice to meet another fellow blogging-neurotic at the very least to commiserate with! lol. seriously, thanks for the follow and i look forward to reading more of your posts. – beck, i mean, MOTHER 😉
Love it! Nothing brings out the self consciousness like the realization that you’ve put your work out into the world to be viewed by any putz (like me) with an internet connection. Even though I hardly use it, I treasure the “edit post” button more than anything in the world some days.
oh, i so hear you. the internet is a scary and wonderful place. and yes, that ‘edit’ button has become my best friend. thanks for reading and i hope to chat with you again. – mother
Haha, great post!
glad you liked it, haidy. 🙂
Fantastic post! I feel so many simular things to you! Funny, I guess we all go through the same anxiety – I thought it was just me 🙂
Oh and big congrats for being Freshly Pressed – you made it – haha!
it seems this post was more of a public service somehow like smokey the bear. because it sounds like EVERYONE goes through this, which is nice to know…it will also stop me from seeing a psychiatrist, “oh, everyone feels that way…pheeew.” lol. thanks for stopping by here and reading and of course, thank you for the kind words. – mother
Agree with every one of these, entertainingly enough — except “blogging is dead.” Could be true, but I guess it depends on your definition of blogging, though.
Funny post. Thanks for sharing these.
P.S. — Speaking of sharing, definitely perturbed about the ineffectiveness of “share this” buttons as well. Would be ideal if they were at the top of the page, rather than bottom. Would probably work better.
thanks for the great comment, john. i don’t know what it is with those ‘share this’ buttons, but i swear getting someone to press them is akin to asking them to adopt your child. people find it to be a big responsibility somehow or they can’t be bothered. i’m not sure which. glad you liked the post. and i too, PRAY, that blogging is not dead. 😉 thanks again for coming by and i hope to see you again here. – mother
LOLOL OMG YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!
loved this post !!!!! and congrats…need I write more exclamation points???!!!!!!
nope, you put enough in there. lol. thank you for saying so, eva. i really appreciate it. -sweet mother
OMG ~ Get.out.of.my.head. I mean it! Not 31 minutes in…NOW! 😀
Congrats on being fp’d – you rocked it
thank you, yarn. mommar REALLY appreciates your kind sentiments. – me
hahah this is hilarous!! Imagine how it is to get a comment/like every WEEK only! 🙂 Great writing & ps I love the layout! (I always feel like mine look really narrow & then people feel like that have to scroll for AGES to read them and then maybe they won’t bother??)
we worry so much about the templates don’t we? don’t worry too much, just write. and thank you for stopping by here. momma appreciates it!
Well, now you’re Freshly Pressed, so congratulations! The exact same thoughts go through my head, in pretty much the same order…but I’m pretty sure your blog is more interesting than mine. Now I just need to find my niche, right?
yes, it’s all about the nice. though i still have no idea what mine is. lol. seriously, it’s got to be fun. if it ain’t fun, why bother. anyway, thanks on the congrat and for coming by here. hope to see you again – mother
and by nice, i mean niche…uuuuuuugggggh. that’s why no one in estonia is reading. lol.
Um, I totally missed that this was freshly pressed, I am guessing I am not addicted enough, no wait, I was coughing up a lung sprinting with the stroller!
lol. it was just freshly pressed today. so, i’m just sifting through the whirlwind now. wish i was in your stroller, i may have to be whisked away from my laptop…aaarrrhhh, i mean YAAAAAY. it is pretty fun, actually.
Congrats, so well deserved!
thank you, lady friend.
I feel like this describes the way I feel every single time right after I publish a post. And I update my blog weekly, if that! I don’t get many comments but the ones I do definitely make me feel awesome that some people are reading my blog. 😀 It totally makes my day.
i totally understand what you mean. today, for once, i feel like a superstar. 😉 seriously, thanks for coming by here, amelie, and for saying those very true things. – mother
Oh my freakin’ God, that was the funniest thing I have seen today. You just basically described my life. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone.This really isn’t sufficient, but what else is there to say? AWESOME.
thank you, cl. honestly, i’m humbled. thank you and i’m so glad you liked it. – mother
haha! You’re a funny guy. I hope you’re happy with today’s result.
girl, but thank you. very happy! yay! – mother
I haven’t laughed out loud about a piece of writing in a long time. Thanks for this, it’s awesome!
now that is a high compliment. thank you back and welcome to my world. – mother
Haha, Thanks for the laugh, shall follow. Keep up the great work
i appreciate that, sunny. thank you. – mother
Reblogged this on Azalea blog and commented:
Your are great of your thoughts…
thank you, ‘coupon codes’. i’m not going to lie, you sound ‘spammish’. i suppose time will tell…lol.
I’m just starting my blog, and am enjoying the more experienced (and often much younger) blogger’s posts. this one really made me smile – I’m looking forward to retiring at the end of next week so I can start doing regular posts and worrying about stats!
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed – and thanks for giving me a giggle this evening!
aw, shucks, it’s my pleasure. and your blog sounds interesting. i promise to check it out as soon as i can uncurl my fingers from all the commenting back and forth. lol. and congrats to you, on the retirement! that’s huge! – mother
So I’m not the only one… great post!
oh, you are SO not alone, feisty. lol. we are all a touch blogging-crazy. 🙂 – mother
Love it! I did not end up here in search of Jared Leto but he definitely makes a nice addition to any blog!
true dat. he is my man-crush, indeed. glad you liked it! all the best, sweet mother
Honey, judging by the comments and likes, you were off by a mile… come to my blog and see the vast ocean of commentlessness, and I’ll show you what a blog looks like that has sucked for about a year and a half 😛 Funny blog btw.
as soon as i can uncurl my fingers, james, i will visit your blog and leave you a comment. this mother promises, as we all deserve blog love. seriously, thank you for the kind words and the funny comment. – mother
Awww, shucs, Getting nice replies like this is a great surrogate 🙂
Awesome. Throughout the many different blogs I’ve written over the years, this is almost exactly, obviously with my own personal flare, what goes through my mind. Great job getting it down in words!
thank you, chris, for saying so. it is much appreciated. – SM
hey, I only get like 15 visits a day maybe… so your doing alright
now i am, sure. 😉 – mother
i guess i’m the last one to say this but that was pure awesomeness lol
thank you, scott. i really appreciate that. – mother
I very much enjoyed this, i can relate to a few of those thoughts!
Heres a view from Hong Kong!
x
thank you, hong kong. – mother
Oh how true it is. In fact, I check my stats about every 2.7 minutes before I go to bed. I eat, check stats. I do the dishes, check the stats. I brush my teeth, check the stats. Tell my wife I am coming to bed, but instead check the stats. Go to bed and give my wife a kiss, but decide I better check the stats again, just in case someone decided to look at it in that 10 seconds it took me to climb in bed and kiss my wife. It’s an obsession really.
Thanks for creating the words for it.
that is so funny, chad. we’re all nuts. thanks for making me chuckle. stay strong. it must dissipate after a while, the blogging crazy. i don’t know. 🙂 – mother
LOVE!
RETURNED LOVE! 🙂 – mother
WOW! So glad you made freshly pressed so I have another amazing blogger to envy..errr..follow! Laughed and found myself in every minute. Minute 26 goes like this: “Waiting on the little orange button to appear again and light my life like a Christmas tree.” Sad, I know. There is therapy, I think.
Looking forward to following and finding some inspiration from a talented and successful blogger. Thanks!
my pleasure, heather. thank you for the kind words. i really appreciate it. – mother
OK, really relieved I commented before you became famous and everything because now you’re gonna have to watch your back. You’ll be all like, “Do they love me for ME or do they love me for my newly minted Freshly Pressed fame?”
You know who has your back Sweet Mother.
Well done, so deserved, and overdue!
I’m SO SO SO happy for you!
hold on, I never get a “like” on any of my posts, and I don’t think they’re too bad, so don’t worry about it, you’re doing great 🙂
thank you, hot. i appreciate that. – moms
Wow! This was hilarious, but I’m not gonna lie, as someone who is just starting out, and has just barely double digit followers, and you have thousands, it’s a little bit harder to empathize. However, I have the same dialogue with myself now, and i’m sure if I ever got to as many followers as you, I would still keep up that funny yet neurotic dialogue. Don’t worry, everybody loves you and your blog. You don’t need the Westboro Baptist Church: ) Maybe I do haha!!! You just got yourself another follower as well: )
nina, i am ALSO just starting at this. so, stay strong. i only had around 140 something hard-won followers as of this morning. if you’re seeing thousands of followers for me, that’s because it integrates my fb numbers and there i do have a lot of ‘friends’, but that’s because of my comedy career that i worked at for years. so, keep doing what you’re doing. and NONE of us need the westboro baptist church – those a-holes!!! lol. but, honestly, thank you for following. i take that as the highest compliment and i will try and do my best not to disappoint you. all the best, mother
Very well written! It made me laught out loud on a day that has been so yucky…thanks for sharing.
thank you. i am delighted whenever i can slightly un-yucky a day for another fellow human. come here whenever you need. much love, mother
I totally understand some of this! I write a blog where I’m asking for people’s thoughts about an app I’m writing, and I go crazy when I don’t see people viewing it because, well, I’m craving feedback. So, I get where you’re coming from!
oh, drummer boy, it’s a hamster wheel, i tell ya. i can’t even imagine what goes into creating an app…though i love them, i can barely make a hyperlink. ay yay yay. such is my life. thank you for commenting here. – mother
I love it! ❤ was laughing the whole time :))
so glad to hear that. thank you for the kind words. – momma
“My blog will never get freshly pressed!” And then it does. Lol!
here’s what i’m saying next, ‘i will never have a million dollars’…and then… well, we’ll have to wait and see. pls, god. pulease. lol. anyway, ashely, thank you for stopping by here. – mother
As a new blogger, I think about half of what you had on here (okay, maybe more than half but shhhhh!). I love this post! Thanks for reminding me that I’m not completely neurotic and alone with my thoughts lol
I shared this on my fb because it’s awesome! I am now a new cult follower!
cheers
leena, welcome to the cult! your matching nike sneakers will be arriving in the mail in a few days… seriously, thank you for the kind words. momma is humbled. momma is bowing – virtually speaking – like a geisha girl. hope to see you here again soon. – mother
The pleasure is all mine. Will be sure to keep you posted when I decide to blog in the nude or partially…. will let you know how it goes… you just may be on to something 😉
oh and congrats on being FP’d! YAY YOU! 😀
Oh my gosh this post is freaking hilarious!
thank you, charlie. momma is grateful. very, very grateful. xo
Reblogged this on and commented:
This post by SweetMother is simply hilarious!! I’m sure many, MANY bloggers have felt this way after publishing a post. I know while I read this I could certainly relate. What I really appreciated however was the neurotic dialogue she had with herself. One, it was very comical. Two, it made me realize how funny my own thought process is daily and how ridiculous my self-criticism can be!!! Now that I’m more conscious of it, I’m going to try and AT LEAST make my self-talk (often critical self-talk) much more comical. We all need to laugh at ourselves sometimes. Better yet, daily! If we laugh more, especially at ourselves, perhaps life will suddenly become less “why so serious?” and a lot more……….See photos : )
oh my god, nina. thank you for reblogging. you are a new friend. what you just said was so insightful and so true, i’m with you. our self – talk does NOT need to be this brutal!! but, we do need to laugh at ourselves. anyway, i’m so glad you said the things that you did and i hope to see you again here. – mother
You are most welcome!!! Please check out my blog if you get a chance as well. I would really appreciate it: )
http://www.withanopenheart.org
Also, If you have any advice for a new blogger I would love the extra help! You have soo many followers already, and If I’m right, you only started this blog a few months back. You’re doing exceptionally well!!
Best,
Nina
Ok, you’ve been freshly pressed suffer from some kind of garden variety neurosis which most of us have and hopefully delight in laughing about your mind loop as much as we do when reading it. Maybe you can accelerate the anxiety to 15 or 20 minutes post-blog now. Just try it – you’ll gain an extra ten minutes to you day! Great post and new follower..
so glad to hear that, karma. i am humbled and delighted. welcome to my little cyber-club. – mother
Great post! I thought I was the only one with the WordPress addiction. Nice to know I’m not alone.
marti, we are all suffering from this disease. it’s like polio in the 1890’s or whenever the hell that happened. anyway, thank you for stopping by here. momma appreciates it!
My pleasure.
Haha so I was honestly just doing most of these things and thought I’d read freshly pressed and then check back to see if anything changed 😛
any diversion is a good diversion to allow the stat gods to grow something. you made the right choice. lol. and i FEEL your pain. for reals. thanks for reading. – mother
I normally don’t comment on blogs that suck. Thankfully, after reading your blog post my tradition conitinues. Nice Job.
Congrats on being Freshly Sucked…ooops, my bad. I mean congrats on being Freshly Pressed.
Mr. Bricks
thanks, mr. bricks. you’re a nutball, but i like ya. rock it. – mother
lol lol lol. Keep blogging!!
thank you, my friend. – mother
Gold! I love this – thanks! I was going to send this reply one word at a time so you had more comments to pop up and more orange numbers to get excited about but thought you probably have enough 🙂
true, indeed, lou. true, indeed. and my fingers have cramped. thanks for the kind words though. – mother
Our blog also get hits from unexpected keywords!
Very funny post! Thanks for the laugh. The trepidation between minutes 19 through 22 is unnerving. For comfort, I shove a bunch of Little Debbie Zebra cakes in my mouth. I call it Lil’ Debbie-ing it.
ok, you’re seriously in the running for ‘best comment’. an award that will gain you nothing, but is an award none the less. i mean, little debbie-ing. i laughed out loud. thank YOU for that. – mother
Yes! I’d like to thank my parents for this nothing award…
In return, I’m now following you – like an electronic STD.
mike, i’m sure there’s a designer somewhere who’s made an icon that is the cyber-cream for that. such is the wastefulness that is all of our current lives!! lol. anyway, brilliant, comment. glad you’re following. THANK YOU. – moms
Reblogged this on Been There Done That and commented:
This is a fantastic post! Please read!
i think 10 and 18 are the best….great blog keep it up
thank you, mike. i really appreciate that. – mother
LOL. Oh sweet mother of paranoia!!! I can relate. Totally. Here is my version of your post….although not so detailed. http://modernwomansociety.wordpress.com/2012/02/07/stop-the-traffic-where-the-heck-are-my-stats/
jen, i will check that out, the second i uncramp my fingers from responding to all these comments! lol. but, thank you for stopping by here. momma appreciates it! oh, she so does. keeps the paranoia at bay…at least until the morning. 🙂
We all care too much. Even people like me whose blogs are real crap.
By the way, I like the share buttons 😉 .
thank god someone is using them. geez louise, it’s like canvassing for sarah palin getting someone to use one of those! lol. thanks for the great comment and we do, we do, indeed, care too much. ha, ha. – mother
Reblogged this on lepicurieuse and commented:
For all the bloggers out there. Hillarious. Too funny!
thank you, dear friend.
It’s just too good to keep it to myself. It’s going on Facebook. Keep ’em comic (please). 🙂
will do. that’s a promise. and THANK YOU. – me
Very funny! I, too, feel dead (or dying) until I see some orange in the upper right corner of my screen. True, the number in the orange is almost exclusively a “1” or “2,” I am nevertheless quite grateful when it happens.
derek, i’m no idiot. i made SURE to take that screen capture on a very high orange button moment. lol. because i can assure you, they weren’t always that high of a number. and my sad little heart would light up with a ‘1’ or a ‘2’. this i know. thank you for the kind words…we all die a little bit everyday, as we blog…lol. – mother
Ha ha ha, I really laughed when I read this because I got through the same train of thought everytime. If I see a brief uptick in a certain old post,I start thinking I should churn out more to get more readers.
If I post more often, it doesn’t necessarily garner more reads/likes either. Quality does matter, that’s for sure.
Congrats on Freshly Pressed. As a fellow recipient (2 weeks ago), I can tell you the withdrawal is a worthy blog subject in and of itself. 😉
😀
oh, lawd, doug. i am not looking forward to that!!! lol. i have been warned by you and other fp’ers that the coming down is deadly…lol. but, thank you for the congrats. and i’m sure i’ll be doing a requisite, ‘what f.p. did to me…’ post. lol. – moms
Your post made me laugh today! Thank you!
my pleasure, thank you for reading. – me
It’s funny cause it’s something that all bloggers do. Great post !
yes, that seems to be true! lol. thanks for stopping by, chrissie. – mom
Okay…so now what?!
no idea, harold, no idea. 🙂 – mother
Your blog is so dangerously close to the mind of bloggers! Great post!
thank you, tinniam. i appreciate that. all the best, mother
Reblogged this on Jolene N, that's my name and commented:
This is like posted on behalf of all bloggers!
thank you for the reblog, jolene. momma appreciates it!
No, your post did not suck today. In fact it was very funny, all the way until I got to the morose code bit and then I laughed out loud.
I am reading it while I am ‘helping’ the kids with their homework, so in my mind immediately morose code became a sulky child with the morse code book in hand grumpily clicking out a message.
Thank you for the laugh, it helped me to better deal with my morose speller and morose reader….
By the way, I would love my orange button to say more than a maximum of 2, maybe I should just never click on it and let it build up to a decent level!
thank YOU for catching the morose code line. not everyone did. and i have always felt that morose code is just SO much sadder than morse code. lol. so, SO much sadder. 🙂 glad it made you laugh and thank you for commenting here. all the best, mother
Min 26 is particularly relevant to me. I’m glad to know that it’s not just me who takes stats as an affirmation of my identity as a person, a human being. Also, I get an average of maybe 2-3 likes a post (one of them coming from one of my best friends), for which I’m EXTREMELY grateful. Your 10 likes, for me, would just cause my head to explode from a combination of happiness and ego.
Congratulations on getting freshly pressed!:)
i hadn’t realized those stats were halfway decent until everyone told me to shutup for saying so!! lol. anyway, we all feel the same, patch, as this post has not hit a nerve, but exploded an artery. thank you for reading it and commenting. i am humbled and grateful. – mother
Reblogged this on Didi's pARTy Blog and commented:
Exactly what goes through my mind. And by the way… *fingers crossed* I want to have 136 views from the United States alone!!! {some day…perhaps… }
thanks for the reblog, didilta. i really appreciate it and if you ever need your blog to grow in the U.S., even by 1, only say the word and i’ll hope over there. 🙂 hugs, mother
This was EXCELLENT! Perhaps one of my favorite posts I have ever read regarding blogging! Scratch that, this is my favorite post ever about blogging!
yowzers. that is high praise indeed. thank you for saying so, kim. and thank you for swinging by here. big hug. – mother
Oh mehn, I just realized I suck at blogging. XD
suckage, is for plumbing. so, i can assure you…you do NOT. keep the faith, sistah. slowly, but surely, you can get yours too. hugs, mother
that’s sweet. we look up to you, momma. thank you.
thank you for the reblog, sycamore. i truly appreciate it. – mother
Great post, I know exactly how you feel the minutes and hours following a post drive me insane, although I’m already insane, it usually takes me to a new level of paranoia and anxiety.
I definitely will follow your blog and I look forward to reading more of your posts.
Dave.
thank you, dave. i take a follow as the highest compliment one blogger can pay to another. we’re all a little bit insane on here, so it’s nice to know i’m not alone. all the best, mother
I go through similar thought processes, except for me it’s “It’s been a minute and there’s only one view”