The below is a list of what happens in my brain for the next 31 minutes after I hit “publish” each and everyday. Note: I only have about 1 original thought per minute, the other thoughts within that minute are variations of the original-thesis thought for that correpsonding minute.
Min 1: “Did my post suck today? It’s been a minute and there is only one “like”. Maybe it sucked.”
Min 2: “It’s Sunday, people don’t read very many blogs on Sunday, that’s a low-views day according to my stats.”
Min 3: “Oh, wait, it’s Monday. Okay, that is also a low-views day – so is Tuesday and Wednesday and hold on…”
Min 4: “I should’ve written about my Mom. People like it when I write about my Mom or my Wifesy.”
Min 5: “I don’t think I should’ve capitalized Mom in that last minute thought. PEOPLE KNOW MY GRAMMAR IS TOILET LEVEL. THEY CAN FEEL IT and that’s why they’re not reading this post. Mom? Mom, help! That’s when you capitalize Mom when it’s used like a name, jackass.”
Min 6: “I should’ve written something jokey. People like it when I joke. This should be a jokey blog, not a relationship/ family blog. God, such an idiot.”
Min 7: “This blog will never be freshly pressed. SWEET MOTHER WILL NEVER BE FRESHLY PRESSED BECAUSE GOD AND THE WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH HATE ME.”
Min 8: “God, I would love it if the Westboro Baptist Church protested this blog.”
Min 9: “Oh, wait, three more likes. It must be my time zone. It’s morning for me and an ungodly hour for everyone else in the world, right?”
Min 10: “People in Germany are reading…and Austria. Wait, I thought they were the same place. They’re not the same place? Oh christ, the Europeans can feel my shitty American public school education reeking through this blog and that’s why they’re not reading…wait, they are reading.”
I'm sorry that I only speak English and a sort-of Spanish...
Min 11: “I don’t know how to take good pictures. People don’t like this post because of the crappy photography.”
Min 12: “Wait, I just gained another follower! Oh, it’s that dude’s blog where I commented 57 times. After he did a background check on me and realized that I was not imminent threat to him or his family, he finally decided to follow. Phew.”
Min 13: “I only post once a day, that’s why people don’t care. I need to post 4,500 times a day. No one will pay attention otherwise. God, I’m so lazy!”
Min 14: “I should go do something else. If I go do something else, when I come back, people will have looked at this blog.”
Min 15: “I don’t care what other people think.”
Min 16: “I care very much what other people think.”
Min 17: “I only care what certain people think…people with taste. Everyone who stops by here has good taste.”
Min 18: “I’m more of a niche writer. I’m waiting for the niche to find me. Where the feck are you, Niche?!”
Min 19: “This should’ve been a travel blog.”
Min 20: “Blogging is dead.”
Min 21: “Newspapers are dead.”
Min 22: “Wait, am I dead?”
Min 23: “Four people came to my blog searching for Jared Leto. I need to do more posts on Jared Leto and His So Called Life…Wait, it’s My So Called Life. Mine.”
Thank you, Jared, dear.
Min 24: “Where are clownonfire, carrierubin, blackdoorpress, wendyworks, cauldronsandcupcakes, staciechadwick, transguy, and poietes? Oh my god, they must’ve been kidnapped! They must have lives! Nooooooooooo.”
Min 25: “Nobody ever uses the ‘share this’ buttons on here. No one has ever hit the ‘press this’ button, only I have ever hit the ‘facebook’ button, and some kind of ghost has activated the ‘stumbleupon’ button twice. I know because when I check the link it goes straight to porn. Porn!”
Min 26: “When I don’t see the numbers on that orange button go up, I don’t feel alive. Seriously, Sweet Mother, you need help.”
Grow, damn you, grow!!
Min 27: “Maybe my blog template is hard to read. Maybe I should write in a notebook, photograph it, and upload it. Maybe I should hire a plane and skywrite my pieces. Morose code? Telepathy? I’m telepathically sending you another post right now. Why aren’t you “liking” it! There’s a button right there next to your hypothalamus.”
Min 28: “You are so neurotic, ten people have liked this so far. You pay too much attention to this blog. It’s like your child. Just the other day your Wifesy said, I’M JEALOUS OF YOUR BLOG. And then she tried to drown it in the bathtub. Don’t you think that’s unhealthy?”
Min 29: “You need to go back to writing twitter jokes. 142 characters, you’re in, you’re out. Blogging is taking over your life. You’re like Perez Hilton without the fame or the money.”
Min 30: “People are saying nice things in the comments. The stats look good. Okay, okay. I’ll write something tomorrow, but only because you begged. Sorry. Sorry. I begged. I’m grateful. So, grateful. Thank you. Thank you for reading. I haven’t felt this good since Eisenhower was elected. God, now I’ve got to go and do something else!”
Min 31: “Wait, is it time to post again?”
***
Sweet Mother is updated daily. You can follow by clicking the “follow” button at the top of this blog.
**
If you think this blog is too arrogant, you might want to read “Is Your Blog Getting Arrogant?”
Other fun stuff:
When Daylight Savings Messes with Your Head
*
Sweet Mother 
Hilarious (see I put a stop to at least some of those thought) I admit to the same bloggy schizophrenia. I think its the fact that interaction is the driving force behind blogging. At least for me.
P.S. I admit to liking this format better, I don’t have to scroll up to complete the post, but it’s your blog momma.
Oh gills, to quote Neil diamond, “u turn on my heart light”. Well that’s not exactly it, but u know what I mean. Seriously, I could’ve written an entire second post called ‘thoughts that run thru ur head’ while waiting for some attention on ur ‘thoughts that run thru ur head post’. So thank u for getting here so fast and saving me. I also hear u about the template thing. Now, if it were up to me I’d come to all of ur homes and read my posts to u at ur bedside, but my wife would leave me…
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
LOL! We don’t want that!
Blogging schizophrenia! I love it! That’s a great way to describe something I think we ALL do.
What a hilarious post! Thanks for outlining all our own blogging fears with such grace, candor, and a many laughs to boot. I was laughing out loud through the whole post!
Do you find irony in the fact that you’ve been Freshly Pressed after declaring it would never happen?! I love it!
grace. you had me at grace, joyful! thank you for such a nice comment. schizo, indeed. and this influx of comments and love may only be making it worse! thankfully, i can blog about it. arrrgh. he, he. 🙂 – moms
Brilliant. Thank you for writing this post on my behalf.
Oh sweet clowny – Eric, thank u for liking it and reblogging it. I am forever humbled by u, ur blog, ur very good taste, and ur French-Canadian charm. Merci.
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
Sweet Mother, you speak for so many of us.
I just did a public service by reblogging your post.
U are the ark angel of my blogging psychosis! Or is it arc or arch? Aaaahhhhhh.
That reply is as aesome as the post, love it.
if clown said it, it probably is.
Oh sorry i leave the w
Thank you, Jose.
Mother made me write this.
CoF
…mother always does. 😉
Reblogged this on A Clown On Fire and commented:
Sweet Mother woke up this morning, and thought: “Let me write a post for my stat-obsessed CoF blogger friend, so he won’t have to. Thank you, benevolent SM.
Umm, Mother, Mom, does this mean your blog is arrogant? I mean, you do cover a few from that list here… just sayin’. It would make me feel a lot better, because I’ve spent a week worrying about arrogance, and I pretty much do all of the above. In fact, much to my wtf/damn/oh not Mother… I had just started a post that looked an awful lot like this one! Now, I have to do something else, lest I be called arrogant, and a copy cat! Bravo! You have me laughing again, even as I second guess my own post (in draft). 🙂
It’s completely arrogant. I’ve decided that blog arrogance is inevitable like death and taxes. So I’ve decided to just go w it. Seriously, second mother, thank u for stopping by here and commenting. I do not know what would’ve happened if no one had read the ‘nuerotic thoughts that happen in my brain after I post’ post, but I’m guessing it would’ve involved some naked running out in to the streets.. so thank u. As for ur post – Write it anyway, I have no doubt it will be hilarious and remember momma loves u. – mother Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
Naked running in the street? Damn, I did that too! I think checking your posts on your 4G must be somewhere on the list too… tisk tisk. We mothers need to support each other!
Omg I’m so doing that rt now !!
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
Oh, my, if this one doesn’t get you Freshly Pressed, I don’t know what will! That was such fun to read–I laughed so loud on minute 22, my spring-breaking teenager stuck his head in my den to see what the fuss was about. See? You managed to rouse a teenage boy off of the cough–NOT an easy task. Well played, Sweet Mother, well played!
Whoops–I meant off of the COUCH, not cough. See, you had me laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes and couldn’t type straight!
Oh I’m having the same problem rt now and my thumbs are getting tired…and my wife is glaring at me…lol.
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
The fact that you mentioned the words “Freshly Pressed” automatically means that you won’t be. In fact, you have probably just been sent to the top of the editors’ super secret “Under penalty of death by Chinese water torture, DO NOT Freshly Press this blog” list.
Oh, man, I’ve contributed to blog torture. Not cool of me…
My mind on SW comments: Damn, Clown on Fire is really funny. Maybe I should follow his blog for laughs. Except that clowns freak me out. OMG! Al Gore posted on Sweet Mother’s blog. Sweet Mother has really made it big time! Oh wait, it says Rob Rubin. Could Al have a psuedonym?
what is sw? is that the other part of me? the ‘sweet woman’ part as opposed to the ‘sweet mother’. yes, clowny is very funny. where is al gore? i have some questions about the programming of current-tv and i’d like to thank him for the internet…and, oh, it’s rob rubin. well, i also love him, so all is well. who are you tuesday? their publicist? – momma, if you’re nasty.
Thank you for noticing my error and the fact that YOU CAN’T EDIT A COMMENT ONCE IT’S BEEN SENT!!! Just Tuesday of the very un-funny blog Cashmere Clouds. And I don’t get the nasty thing which is probably further evidence of not being funny.
like janet…”ms. jackson if you’re nasty.” it was obscure. and i’ve had some margaritas. don’t fault yourself! lol. anyway, tuesday, i expect to see you here everyday. and i will stop by your blog, right after i soak my hands in water due to the arthritis i have just developed after being freshly pressed. aaaaaahhhhhh. 🙂
Love margaritas. Enjoy your new found fame. Exhilerating!
until the hangover. yes. 😉
Double dammit: exhilarating.
lol.
Thank u, Carrie. U r the wind beneath my wings !!!! Lol.
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
Ok Sweet Mother, I’m going to follow just because you referenced “Janet, Ms. Jackson if you’re nasty”. I like. I like. Oh, and I love the replies to the comments. *girlish giggle*
i can’t help myself. it’s part of the addiction, but if we can all benefit then i sacrifice myself on the altar that is wordpress. wtf!! anyway, welcome, winn. welcome. much love, mother
Haha. This is the kind of post I would write. I too wonder why the hell nobody ever hits the share button….probably because my followers are the only ones without Facebook accounts.
And like me, you probably won’t be freshly pressed. But that just means your post DOESN’T suck.
Lol. Robin, u r so grt. Thank u, my sweet friend, thank u.
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
And by robin., I meant rob! I’m in the doctors office answering comments, which proves I have a problem, and the autocorrect on my phone is f*cling me ! See…supposed to be f*cking.
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
You see…the WordPress editors ARE against me! I like to think I had a small part in helping you get FP’ed.
Beautiful post just beautiful. I feel the same way anytime I do anything online. Why didn’t someone retweet my last tweet? Did this video I posted on YouTube stand a chance to gain any views? Why do I have a blog if no one comments?
I think it is a natural thing to go through. Then again today I discovered that I apparently have over 160+ followers so that made me happy.
I so hear u, shane. Thank u for stopping by here and commenting. And 160 followers that is – in the words of the snl ladies – amazeballs. So cool.
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
No worries. I commend you on sticking with the Blog Post A Day thing, that is seriously amazeballs. Something that may be out of my reach right now.
I didn’t write in my blog for more than a week, and today I finally got back to it. My husband complained the whole time; “You and that blog. You’re always writing in that blog. etc.” Then I told him it was all about him today, and he perked up somewhat. I can’t imagine how jealous he’d be if I managed to write every day, though.
I am not kidding when I said my wife was jealous of my blog. I was answering a comment and I laughed and she made a snippy comment about the blogging, which led to a mini fight, which led to her saying “I’m jealous of ur blog”. I couldn’t believe it. We laughed and all is well but still…nuts.
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
My husband DOES NOT LIKE IT AT ALL if I write about him. LOL! But he does complain that I have to post daily…what if I posted as often as I felt like…hell I’d get nothing done!
I love SweetMother and Allison, husbands are always fun, that’s why we have them!
I am so happy you got FP SM…I Know I am NEVER getting FP>>>, not sure, I think I made one of the counsel members angry….God only knows how! 🙂 Congrats on this post…it is SOOOO how we all feel. Stats Are Addictive…and the orange box…like a hit off the ‘pipe’!
Rockin’ my friend! Enjoy!!!
thank you, sweet, amber light…and wifesy DID get jealous OF MY BLOG. it’s craaaazy. now, people know about her in Finland. lol. anyway, thank you for the kind words. a bit overwhelming, but totally fun, nonetheless. xo – mother
It is a laugh-filled day in the blogosphere today, and that feels so good! If it’s any consolation, those “share” buttons don’t get much use on my blog, either. Of course, I still don’t Tweet, and FB is just my personal friends and family. I guess that could have “something” to do with it….
Fun post!
Thank u for saying so, jm. U r always a very welcome sight here. Xo mother
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
Hysterical!
Thank u, adrienne !
Very funny stuff Mother. I must admit to some of the same things. Since I started blogging, the little orange notification box on WordPress has replaced the red notification box on Facebook as my drug of choice. Also, I believe that Germany and Australia are the same country. It’s a common mistake. I have had 2 views from Germany, it must have been my Hasslehoff post. They can’t get enough of that dude.
Sweet bill, u are so rt. Germany and Australia ate the same country. They like to keep their bratwurst inside kangaroo pouches. Everyone knows this. Thank u so much for reading and commenting. It makes momma feel so much less alone !
This was perfect! I do this every time I hit publish, and of I don’t hear from Carrie, I start worrying that she doesn’t like me anymore!!!
Oh rfl, between the two of us we must keep Carrie busy all day running back and forth btwn our blobs ! So glad u liked it.
I just got this notice…how the hell did everyone else have a chance to comment before me? Is it a conspiracy? Does everyone else have some uber-shortcut and I, like the sucker I am, sit and wait for a stupid email telling me there’s a new post??
hehehe…brilliant, just brilliant (and I’m not just saying that cause you mentioned my name). I’m sure you actually tell yourself some of this and to be honest, so do I (didn’t want to say everyone just in case the rest of your followers WANT me to believe that) Ya made me laugh. 🙂
Oh, I tell myself a grt deal of it, sadly. But at least we can all get a laugh out of it. Good lord. And yes, when I don’t see u here, I wonder where u r ! Which sent me over to ur blog to find u, which led me to read a grt post. So all is well in the blogoqueer where we all seem to reside.
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
SO glad I’m not the only one. I swear the only reason I do chores and exercise at all is to buy myself some time before I check my stats after I press “publish.” It’s the blogging equivalent of going to the bathroom while you’re waiting for your food at a restaurant; by the time you return *hopefully* all the feed/feedback will’ve arrived.
Love this!!! I’ve only been blogging for a month now and I am ADDICTED!
I know it will get u, it will make u a slave. It’s like Atari when it came out or that damages series w Glenn close….wait, those are personal addictions. Anyway, thank u so much for the great comment. U rock. – mother
Oh Emily, how true that is. How true. Although how long do u sit in the bathroom in a restaurant? I hope ur bringing reading material or at least ur phone to read blogs! Anyhoo, I love ur blog and if I remember correctly from ur last post ur preggers, yes ? Congrats. Big time. Xo – mother
hello, dear emily, i tried to comment on your comment yesterday, but the cyber-monsters ate my thread. anyway, wanted to say thank you for your great comments and stopping by there…and if my reading of your blog is correct – congrats on being preggers! that’s right, geez – i hope it is – better go look now, lol. anyway, you are the bomb, thank you for visiting here.
Haha, this post sums it up perfectly. I’ve been noticing the same thing, and I’ve just gotten started on WordPress. I hope that kind of paranoia doesn’t strike me too hard!
oh, it will and it will last. unfortunately. lol. thanks for stopping by, dave. – mother
We sure do second guess ourselves! Thanks for giving all of our insecurities a microphone. 🙂 Fantastic post!
So glad u liked it, I am honored! And yes we are a quivering bunch of creative fleshblobs, buy beautiful ones I think.
All blogs are equal. Some blogs are more equal than others. Your blog is super equal (that’s a compliment).
Sara, I’m not sure what that means, but I know that I love it and ur blog…thank u for stopping by here…
It was a reference to Animal Farm…for no apparent reason. I’m a bit batty today.
Um,
and THANK YOU.
You’ll never please everyone, so write how you feel that particular day then step back and say “good enough.” Or is that enuf?
Very true, my friend, very true. One is apt to drive themselves crazy that way…oh that’s rt, I’ve already done that crazy part. I try to please me first and then I try to pls Santa Claus, if I have energy left. The elves tell me he likes the writing. Once again, thank u for a lovely and insightful comment. Xo
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
Hilarious! Min 7 made me laugh so hard. I used to dream about being Freshly Pressed, but then gave up. You can only have your hopes dashed so many times without it causing some kind of emotional harm.
Somehow I haven’t come across your blog yet. I like it, I’ll definitely follow.
Thank u, curly Carl. I take a follow as the highest compliment and ill do my best not to let u down and thank u, buckets, for reading and stopping by here ! Mother
Glad to know i’m not the only crazy. 😉
Great post!
Brilliant is SUCH an overused word in the comments section of this post. I mean, really, can’t any of your followers come up with something a little more creative?
Just to prove I deserve the shout-out you gave me above (thank you sweet mother!), I’m going to use a descriptor with some balls.
Fucking awesome.
Lol. That’s why you are the bees knees ms. Stacie! Thanks for coming by. I need to hit urs and will do so tomorrow like its my job! 🙂 – mother
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
Oops…I’ve been a fan of “Brilliant” because its one of those Monty Python-isms, but I never thought of the fact that it looses quite abit without the english accent….not everything translates to the blogosphere !
us yanks know EXACTLY how you mean it and we LOVE it. cheers! – mother
I was just joking! Only overused because it’s stated so much in the comment section. But look how prescient you were…Sweet Mother was Freshly Pressed! Maybe you should start telling people’s fortunes?
wait, more importantly…you have two blogs??!! mj stepmom is not you…i’m so confused. christ. i’m ceasing the comment responses now. so tired. so tired. stoping. dying. dead. lol.
We are all different people Sweet Mother.
Day #2 Freshly Pressed Instructions:
Breath.
Drink a cocktail.
Set your DVR for Mad Men.
Respond to 1,001 comments.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Sleep.
VERY witty writing. not sure you are as unsure as you claim… and thanks for the “like” i really appreciate it. continue…
Oh, I’m unsure, which it weren’t so, but it is. Enjoyed ur blog and thanks for stopping by here. I appreciate it very much. – mother
Love this post! I have so many of these things going through my mind when I get ready to click the publish button. Plus, you are very witty! I was giggling through the entire post! 🙂
thank you, very, very much for saying so. as i sit hear, having just hit publish, again today…all the same thoughts apply! lol. it never ends. 🙂
Haha! Funny, I read this post after refreshing my stats page for about the hundredth time today 🙂
lol. yes, we all fall victims to the blog-crazies. it’s impossible not to! welcome, to my cyberworld. and thank you for reading this post!
Great hilarious post! And now your stats and followers will go off the charts!
lawd, we can only hope. we can only hope. now, will it quiet the thoughts? me thinks not! thanks for reading and stopping by here, hen.
Well apparently neither God NOR the Westboro Baptist Church hate you…
Because there you are on Freshly Pressed, page 1!
Congrats. And all those thoughts you had? We ALL have them.
Well, except minute #16.
😉
looooooolllll, holy cow, how cool. who would’ve thunk it. not me, that’s for sure! thanks for reading it. i really appreciate it. – mother
This is hilarious. Love it. Congrats on FP, too!
Halie
thank you, halie. i really appreciate that and thank you for reading it!
So funny…so true! Wait! Did the orange button just light up again? 🙂
aaaaaahhhhh, yes it did!! yay! thanks for stopping by here, candy. it means the world to me. – mother
This cracked me up 😀
thank you, friend. glad to hear it did!
How you managed to just get into my head and judge my innermost blogging thoughts is downright SCARY.
lol, i know, princess. relish in the reality that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. we are all crazy! lol. thanks for checking it out.
Reblogged this on westsideluxeliving.
thanks for the reblog, westside!
Very funny! I got to this post through Freshly Pressed, so you must be doing something right! 😉
i know, i just realized!!!! now i’ll have to point my complaints elsewhere! lol. thanks for coming by, becky. great name, btw. 😉
Hmmmm, yes. A few of those thoughts have flown through my head. I decided as long as I have views in double digets I’m doing good. Even if it is 10. And I don’t worry about getting freshly pressed.
But I do wonder why I get so many views from Pakistan. I know I wrote about Vindaloo once. And yes, I tend to use the Louisa May Alcott method of capitalization. At least in some of the older copies of the books and not the more modern reprints.
oh god, i love this commentary. oman – that’s mine. who are the people in the country of oman and why are they reading my blog? and more sadly, why didn’t i know there was a country called OMAN???!! lol. thanks for reading, and commenting, i really appreciate it. – mother
Excellent post
thank you, friend.
Thanks too, Hope to meet u one day in Congo DRC
ken Flavier
I know you are feeling morose, but perhaps you should try morse code instead of morose code 😉
Good job on being freshly pressed, it’s an awesome blog. Following!
thank you, rogue. it is totally appreciated.
🙂
I can answer the question that this title offers: yes.
Alright, not really. I was actually fully engrossed in this post because we’ve all spent our time stressing over the amount of traffic we do (or don’t) get. However, after I developed a moderate level of apathy about it, I noticed that my viewership began to increase. Go figure.
I’m glad this got freshly pressed but do not envy the low that comes after this surge of traffic. I promise to come back and look at another post though because this one was pretty damn good.
i really appreciate that, matt and i will follow your blog in return, if i’m not already. i’m in total agreement that ‘not caring’ is key. though, i KNOW i hardly ever accomplish that. – moms
Don’t bother. My blog isn’t very good.
Great post!!! We share many many similar thoughts, I have lost far too many minutes of my life thinking about the titles of my posts, grammar mistakes and my total lack of humor, and I’m not even very far into blogging and so many fewer people read my blog. =)
oh, but they will, stay strong, fellow-soldier, stay strong. and know, the thoughts will never end! lol. seriously, thanks for stopping by and reading. – mother
This is really funny! You just got inside my head and read my thoughts every time I blog or is it post? I never know which verb to use…
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! Now you can sit back and say, “They like me! They really like me!!!!” Woohoo!
i never knew i would have this much in common with sally fields!! lol. thank you, susie. i really appreciate it and i already enjoy reading your blog. – mother
Darn, lots of folks beat me to this! LOL. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! But I still think “Decently Ironed” is totally awesome, too!
losing my mind. losing it. aaaaaawwwwwwww, waaaaaaah, YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY. thank you, jm. xo – mother
standing ovation!!! your finger is on the pulse of the “smarter than average blogger” This was wonderful!
phew, a standing o! now, i will truly never get my head into any decent sized hats. honestly, thank you, incidental, i’m humbled and glad to hear that you liked it. – mother
I really did!! I draw and paint lots of hats, maybe I could design one for you (ha!)! Congrats on being freshly pressed!
Something we all torture ourselves with eh? Loved this !
so glad to hear, mj. thank you for reading it. it is greatly appreciated. – mother
That was incredibly funny, I know the feeling, but it’s a good day for me if I get 20 visits (I also don’t write that often)… keep it up!
thank you, rogerio. i really appreciate that. slowly, like turtles we do this…step by step…
Welcome to the Freshly Pressed club! I have a feeling you’ll fit right in. 🙂
I’m sorry to have to break this to you – but you’ll get no mug or keyring as a result. An outrage, I know! Fear not, I’m currently lobbying the Prime Minister of England and President of America to get this issue addressed. Once they’ve solved the problem of Justin Bieber, they’ll get right on it. 😉
Excellent work! Bravo!!
having lived in BOTH countries, i can assure you that neither will do either! but, they’ll undoubtedly agree to send troops somewhere together. lol. thank you, for the congrats. i already read your blog and enjoy it immensely! – mother
Why thank you! High praise indeed! 😀
Min. 26th is my life, every day. Well, not today, because I didn’t post anything – because everything I thought of sucked, argh!!!!! For the eight millionth time I wonder, why do I do this????
ps – congrats on being freshly pressed
THANK YOU. i am ALWAYS wondering why i do this and then i get up and do it all over again. it’s nice to meet you and have you as part of this neurotic club. welcome! and seriously, thanks for reading. – mother
Damn it! I was just about to post this same thing!!! Now I’ve just gotta make up something. Seriously funny, too true too. Congrats!
thank you, honie. i appreciate your kind words. best of luck with your next post… remember, we all feel the same! lol.
– sweet mother
Thanks, just sitting here wondering if today’s post sucked and then I remembered…I didn’t post it yet! Thanks for the reply because I was also wondering if my comment sucked until I realized your hand was probably cramped from all the replies you had to make. peace.
Nice one! I love it!
glad to hear that elmo. thank you. – mom
I love this! I obsessively check my site stats.
you are not alone, dear blogger, you are not alone. – sweet m.
I don’t know wether to be amused or frightened that you my long lost Twin? or maybe I need to get a life ?! Terrific Post, you had me smirking in understanding…..iIwill read again and again (your blog that is), and you can check your little boxes….as we all do so lovingly 🙂
markella, never fear, your long lost twin is here. now i need to slap myself for rhyming. it’s been a long two days. lol. anyway, thank you for the kind words and i’m so glad you’re going to read more. that, to me, is the highest compliment. all the best, mother
Absolutely hilarious.
glad you liked it!
I PRAY for The Rapture to relieve me from all my writing woes. I can hardly wait! (Thanks this was a hoot!)
Love MoonWynd
lol. oh, lawd. don’t we all pray for the rapture to relieve us of our word counts. thanks for the giggle and for stopping by and commenting. hugs, mother
LOL! And that’s a good way to get freshly pressed – very unique. Coooool post… congratzzz!
thank you, s-joe, thank you.
LOL – morose code!?! Love it!
PS: Stay out of my head from now on. It’s too spooky having someone else wandering around in there.
well, you keep leaving the door open! lol. and thank you for noticing the morose bit…i find it so much sadder than its buddy morse…but, sssssshhhhhhhhh! 🙂 hugs and have a wonderful day – mother
This is Hi-fricken-larious!!!! I LOVE it!
thank you, hershey. i truly appreciate your kind words. – moms
Awesome post! Bloggers are a self-torturing group aren’t they? It’s like my entire sense of self worth is based on a series of numbers each day. Lol!
Congrats on getting Freshly Pressed. Your post definitely does not suck!
oh, cb, i feel your pain. ridiculous, but sometimes true. although my dog doesn’t give a sh*t about any of this and i can see her point! lol. anyway, thanks for the congrats and hope to see you again around here. – mother
Hey, not mentioning FP worked! It was pretty awesome to see this on the FP page. So glad to know I’m not alone in having my comments and stats rule my life. My hubby is tired of hearing me run around singing, “I’m big in the Philippines!”. But you get to hang out with David Hasselhoff, who is also big in Germany (or is it Austria?). Congrats on being Decently Ironed and Freshly Pressed!
Here is another comment for you. maybe another spot on the map too, just please don’t confuse Sweden with Switzerland 8they are the ones with money and chocolate and we ….well we are the ones without it 😉
i will try very hard not to confuse the two, but if i do i blame my crappy american public school education. we are lucky to learn the capital of new jersey and then we are luckier still if we can unlearn it. lol. thanks for stopping by here.
Hahaha Yeah I hear you. So Sweden north of Europe and Switzerland south of Europe 😉
Not that countries matter anyway. Aren’t we all just people.
perfect love!
I guess I am one who does not press the like button, stumble button or any button or even worse never write comment. But here I am, that must mean I really do like this post.
Great job.
thank you, coming from a non-presser that’s a huge compliment! lol.
I am on wordpress..I thought it shows when I comment….either way, once again great post.
don’t worry, sweet kella, much like the movie, “avatar” – I SEE YOU. your comment is here. it has been read and i am grateful for your kind words. so, thank you. – mother
So, so funny. You’ve done a great job of chronicling and characterizing the mental chatter of a blogger. This post is definitely worthy of freshly pressed. Congratulations!
thank you for that sweet comment. i truly appreciate it. – mother
Thanks for the laugh, that was hilarious and terribly close to home 😉
glad you liked it, tamari. thanks for stopping by. – mother
so funny. I’m this way about Twitter. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!!
thank you, i appreciate that.
Brilliant post! It is exactly how I feel straight after publishing mine, and I know a few others that have the same feelings.
yes, it is always good to know we are not alone. thank you for the kind words and for commenting! – mom
Very funny, loved all of it and love that its not just Freshly Pressed, but in the No.1 spot, I had someone from Trinidad & Tobago today – I think WordPress is going to improve the basic world geography knowledge of the blogging community. But I am also saddened to see the little red crosses, does that mean some pages are being censored in some countries?
Bonne Continuation!
god, i sure hope not. i’ll have to look into those little red crosses. so, interesting. i was not aware. it is INSANE how blogging opens up the world, isn’t it? in a good way. anyway, thank you for stopping by here and the kind words. i feel truly grateful and humbled today. enjoy the sunshine, where ever you may be. hugs, mother
Writing extraordinarily everyday is damn near impossible.
Some days will always be better than others. Ride the wave, surf, relax.
Kudos for putting yourself and your thoughts out on the web !
how right you are, my friend, how right you are. but, write everyday i must. so here i am. thank you for swinging by and commenting. it is much appreciated. – mother
Hilarious! 😀
glad you liked it, rashmi. thank you.
Oh my Gawd (yes this is texan drawl worthy!) – I go off the grid for a while and you go and get yourself freshly pressed?!? Yay, you rock! Congrats.
I’m beginning to suspect that W.P. actually does have people in charge with good taste 😉
Enjoy the ride – I hear it’s something! 😀
How do you even find out where your blog is popular? I’ve never seen that option. For all I know, people in Israel or the Phillipines could be reading my blog.
stats link, upper left hand corner of your blog bar, near the top. now don’t hate me for telling you where it is…because now, you will NEVER be able to tear your eyes from it…
you know, right after I left that comment, I found it on my stats page. talk about embarrassing. And you’re right, I won’t be able to tear my eyes away from it.
Who’d have thought people in India were reading my blog?
I am right there with you . . . although some consider my blog porn so you may not want to look O.o Is that bad?
porn = bad? millions of dollars would tell you otherwise… thanks for stopping by here, cerebral. i appreciate it.
Millions of dollars? I MUST be doing something wrong! Maybe it’s my niche. 😀
😉
No, I enjoyed reading it!
thank you, ryan.
I’m pretty certain that you crawled inside my brain and wrote this post…
Brilliant! SO glad you were Freshly Pressed today…makes me realise that I’m not the only one who thinks this way! 🙂
oh, definitely you’re not the only one. there’s a whole army of us nut-balls over here in blog-land. glad to meet your acquaintance though and THANK YOU for stopping by here.
Congratulations on being FP’d! I’m Stacie Chadwick’s blogging bestie and Transman and I are best buds from college, btw – and now I’m going to follow you because everyone has been telling me how hilarious your blog is, but I’ve been so self-centered and preoccupied with myself, my blog, and my little life of packing and preparing to move that I had not taken the time to properly read your blog. And now I have. I’m pretty sure I’m a better person for it. In fact, I’m certain that I’ve added a good 37 days to my lifespan because I laughed – a lot – while reading your post, and I hear laughter is good for your health.
So thank you for that, Sweet Mother! Now, the bad news. Now that you’ve been FP’d, it’s all going to get worse. You will not be able to tear your eyes away from your statistics – ever. I’m slowly going blind. All I do is type, squeeze drops into my eyes and click the reload button. As far as your Wifesy is concerned, this is going to be the worst thing that ever happened to you. Think you’re obsessed now? Ha! Now you’re getting your taste of fame – and you’re going to want that flavor on your taste buds ALL THE TIME. I speak from a place of knowledge. Trust me on this. Before, you asked the question, “When will I be Freshly Pressed?” Now, you will ask the question, “When will I be Freshly Pressed again?” You will wonder if there is waiting period before it can happen. You will read about people who have been Pressed three times in six months – and you’ll wonder if you’re falling behind if this doesn’t happen to you. (Yes, I’ve just hit the two month mark and I’m slowly beginning to freak out because I haven’t been Pressed again! Where did I go wrong?)
On the other hand, you’ve got some pretty awesome fans (and they just got a little awesomer now that I’m on board) – particularly Stacie Chadwick, Transman, and Clownonfire! Try to enjoy it – and when the day comes that you only get 27 hits in a day, shoot me an email and we’ll commiserate together. We’ll also plot to get the Westboro Baptist Church to ban and protest the both of us. That would be fucking awesome!
Seriously, congratulations. Amazing blog. You definitely earned this FP!
thank you, cristy. we are going to talk about this! in detail. lol. i’m hearing and listening to everything your saying – write now my heartburn is raging and fingers are cramping, but carry on i must….and we will revisit everything you’ve said here. oh, i promise, like acknowledging the black cat that crosses in front of you…i am heeding your warning! xo – mother
I just have to make a small comment here. Not on Cristy’s brilliant flow ’cause no one can touch that, and really, it’s not smart to mess with genius. Just the fact that Cristy is my blogging bestie and Transman and she are best friends from college and both Transman and I were called out in your award-winning post, and now Cristy is following you and three of the four of us have been freshly pressed which would seem like a totally powerful common denominator and maybe we should all go buy lottery tickets with the numbers 6-6-6 in them, and on and on and on. What I’m trying to say is that if my super-secret powers of predicting freshly pressed bloggers is correct, Transman is next. Someone needs to tell him to hire an attorney and an accountant and a bodyguard and a PR person and all that stuff ’cause life is about to change more dramatically for him than he already thinks it is.
No doubt. And Transman will hit it bigger than any of us could ever hope for. And he will totally deserve it! He rocks!
true dat, sistah. true dat. i have always believed – and i will always tell my gayby – “You are the company you keep.” Even in the blog world. So, there’s that. and stacie, on a personal note, i’m grateful – TO YOU – that you were so kind to my blog in the early days, a mere 60 days ago, when i didn’t know what the feck i was doing quite yet. (not that i do now) you saw something in me, like the dirty girl who wears overalls to school in the romcom movie, you saw the model…and for that, momma is grateful. read her, people, read her!! …if you aren’t already. xox – mother
How did you manage to get into my head and then write down all my thoughts so damn quickly? Nicely done!
well, you left the door open, crissy. 🙂 thanks for stopping by here and commenting. i really appreciate it. – moms
I started writing recently, but I accede with your points. I don’t know, In one day, I check my wordpress page myriads of time and every time, I anticipate to see notification, because somehow it makes me feel worthy of something and more robust. 😀 When I see comments, I really feel good from inside. (: And your blog really cites what a blogger feels when he posts something and what he really anticipates from everyone else. (:
And by the way, I’m reading your blog in India and I believe you’re an awesome writer and we share a common like: Jared Leto is a remarkable actor. After watching his movie, Requiem for a dream, I started to like his acting capabilities. Recently, I came to know that he is a lead singer in a band, 30 seconds to Mars. Awesome to know that. 😀
thank you. i really appreciate that. one of my best friend’s is from india. i know like saying your best friend is black, over here! but, it’s true. she’s gudrathi and i know i’m spelling that wrong. seriously, thank your for reading and the lovely commentary. i hope you’ll come back and read more.
yes, we all do. it’s like a disease. you can come here and we’ll virtually hug like bloggers lost at sea….
As a new blogger i found this post sooo incredibly hilarious bcause im constantly analyzing my posts and stats…nice to kno it will never change! Congrats !
nope, it’s a constant like death and taxes. we can only know that we are not alone. that is all we can do. lol. thanks for stopping by here, new friend.
I’ve been posting for a couple of years and it still feels like watching a pot will not boil.
oh, chris, i so understand. keep the faith, good sir. keep the faith. – mother
I just started blogging and can only hope to post something as witty as this. After reading it I just had to become a follower!
thank you, aj. a follow is the HIGHEST compliment a blogger can pay another blogger and i deeply appreciate it. – mother
Oh man, I do this same thing. I pour a lot of time into my posts, doing a lot of good research and I only get a few hits. So sad! Thank you for this post!
my pleasure, kally. thank you for reading it.
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! Great post! I thought I was the only one who was that neurotic about her posts.
thank you. i really enjoy your blog and am already a reader. and yes, completely neurotic, probably will never end…and such is life… 🙂 – mother
If all the neruoses ended, I’d probably be neurotic about that and worry about why I had stopped worrying. You’re right. It will never end.
Thanks so much for reading my blog. I always enjoy your comments 🙂
Congrats on the FP! This was a riot. Of course, I’d be THRILLED if, 28 minutes after a post, my orange button had a 10 on it… even if it was 10 replies to comments I’d left on other posts!
🙂
thank you, shannon, i appreciate it. and yes, half of those were probably responses i left to other people!!!!! the craziness never ends. lol. thanks for coming by.
You’re welcome. That was a fast reply, by the way!
i’m an addict. thinking about having my fingers surgically attached to the keyboard…
LOL. They have an app for that…
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed. Apparently that day’s post did not suck. You captured those post-publish-button-pushing mental gyrations pretty well. Love your blog.
yes, it seems so, now doesn’t it? and thank you for the kind words about the blog. it’s nice to know i’m not blogging into the abyss anymore. so, thank you and i hope to see you again on here. – mother
Lol! Well you gotta lot of likes on this one! And hit the neurotic nerve of all us bloggers! Looooooooool!
glad you liked it, sandra.
Who knew the secret to being Freshly Pressed was to put forth in public your insecurities over never being Freshly Pressed? This is a strategy I’m going to have to borrow. Thanks for sharing – funny stuff here!
thank you, mark. i appreciate that. i always hold close to my heart the ‘ask and ye shall receive’ mantra or in my case, ‘jokingly yell and someone will listen’ eventually… lol. thanks for stopping by.
Okay, are you kidding me? This is genius/epic/funny/witty/where was I going with this again…. enjoyed (:
THANK YOU for saying so. that means a lot to me, indeed.
Loved this. Get outta my head. I currently have a big fat gray zero, no orange button. It’s been like that for days and I feel this withdrawal happening. Oh, god, I have to post again to get that rush again! It’s really a drug this blogging thing. Congrats on Freshly pressed!
thank you and stay strong, fellow soldier. i’ve read your blog and it’s a good one! – mother
Haha! Spot on! 🙂
http://bitterfia.wordpress.com
cool. glad you liked it.
I’m not going to lie, i was thinking like some of the things mentioned in this article too. For first time bloggers i can see how confusing this concept can get and by not finding some way to stay in touch with your followers can hurt your viewership. So learn to branch out people and don’t forget to help each other -,o
http://wp.me/2aAA8
very true, my good man, support and connecting may just be the key to success…or at the very least a release valve on the insanity. thanks for coming by here, mother.
lol, well i appreciate you mentioning these kind of troubles in this article. We have all been there before but i guess we were all too proud to talk about it huh? -,o
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! I can’t believe it didn’t happen sooner.
jen, seeing my regular readers on here is like being thrown a buoy doing a tsunami. so, THANK YOU for coming by and saying something and the congrats and all that. xo – mother
you’re funny and i can see myself in you. I’m not a good writer but a very frustrated blogger lol. 🙂
thank you and i’m very glad you liked it!
OMGosh! LOL! And I thought that I was the only one that did something VERY similar to that. thank you Thank you THANK YOU for making me laugh and not feel so out there.
my pleasure, we are all slightly out there in our own ways. lol. glad you enjoyed it. – mom
Story of our life much? Your blog is hilarious-following you 🙂
2chicgurls
http://www.2chicgurls.com
thank you!!! i never take a follow lightly and i truly appreciate it. really glad you liked it. duly humbled, virtually curtseying…:) – mother
Your welcome! 🙂
Hahaha, I have to admit This is so me…i literally spend the first 20 minutes after i share a post refreshing the stats page constantly hoping that someone, anyone likes what I just wrote.
I love this by the way 🙂
i’m so happy to hear that, dee. understand, you are NOT alone! lol. this post being fp’d is like an intervention for us all…which is great ’cause i love ‘intervention’. anyway, i hope you come by here again. and thank you for the kind words. – mother
congrats man
thank you, human. – mother
Awww this is god! I play this game – all the negatives are usually true for me hough – I think I’ve only ever had 6 likes. Hehe!
stay strong, cheeky!! time heals all blogging wounds! thanks for stopping by here. – mother
Thank you 🙂 bx
I meant good*
and though* stupid laptop!
I would really like this a lot more if it was one of 4500 posts today.
like. i’m hitting the imaginary ‘like’ button for your comment. – moms
You’re funny! Very funny! (and now Finland will be on your stats map!)
yay, finland!!! FINALLY. That’s been my cheer anyway, ‘Finally Finland’ and now at long last finally. 😉 seriously, thank you for stopping by here and the sweet comment, heather. – moms
Following too! Just couldn’t help myself. great discipline to be able to post daily. I would if I could, but i can’t so I wont 🙂
i totally understand, heather. and it CAN be a pain in the tukus, but out of that pain comes posts like these…so, maybe that’s something. regardless, thanks for stopping by here and saying so. i really appreciate it. – moms
bahahahaha story of my life. and I get maybe 15 views ever. Also…you’re freshly pressed 😀
thank you for coming by here and relating. man, good to know, we are not alone!!! it’s like space odyssey…sort of. 🙂
I feel like being Freshly Pressed is a catch-22! You have anxiety from having no blog readers and anxiety from having hundreds over night! But I wouldn’t know. Well done to you!
thank you, daffodils. yes, i fear this will help to grow a whole new crop of anxiety…but, at least i get to write about it, te, he. 🙂 – moms
funny one 😛
thank you, amigo.
Nice! It is like about my blog 😀 😀 :D. But in my blog the most popular comment are… spam comment! 😀 😀 😀 So You see, everything is ok with your blog 😉
yes, all is well today in sweet mother-land. thanks for coming by. 🙂
Reblogged this on Utter Brain Ache Dot Com and commented:
Because it’s true – and look, 30stm folk – they even speak about Jared 😉
thank you for reblogging, mimi. jared is the man-crush for us ALL!! lol. – mother
And, plus, I always do the same – I’m like… WHERE ARE MY FREAKING PAGE VIEWS! HIGHER, HIGHER! Hah! 😉
like. i’m hitting the like button on your comment! lol.
Lol even though I haven’t been here too long, I’ve been on fanfiction.net and that’s EXACTLY how I feel all day after I post. Ahhh! I’m going to post my story from ff to here. Wish me luck!
godspeed, sweet, blue, godspeed! and thank you for stopping by here. – mother
Lol XD. No prob! ^_^
Great post! Visit mine if you’d like, and message me if you would like to advertise on my blog.
thank you and will do. – moms
So aptly put and funny too. You made my day.
Thank you.
thank you. and you made my day in return. so, we’re like a couple of blogging dirty harrys, i suppose. 😉 – mother
This is perfect! There is no worse feeling than spending hours (DAYS EVEN) on a blog and no one comments on it.
I am always surprised by what search terms bring people to my blog. ‘Baseketball court’ gives me hits every day and I have one picture of a baseketball court out of thousands of other pictures. Same with Jackie Chan. I am also a little creeped out to find that someone is clearly obsessed with my sea sickness, they google for it every other day.
oh, yes, miss…the stats board can reveal all levels of odd stalkers. but, that’s an entirely different post, indeed. thank you for reading and commenting here. mother is very grateful.
This is hilariously accurate. Good job!
thank you, mike. i appreciate you saying so. – ma
The epitome of awesome = this blog post.
the epitome of awesome = this comment! thank you, ks. that was very sweet. and thank you for saying so. – mother
I feel the same way, but I never get that many visitors anyway… 🙂 It’s mostly my friends and family who read and comment.
Maybe I should start writing more interesting things, and not do it in Swedish 😀
oh, man, we wish we could speak Swedish over here, let me tell you. Truth be told, I wish i could speak a little bit of every language – so i can complain in each one! lol. i think it’s always friends and family in the beginning. so, stay strong, my sweet, swede. yours will come. – mother
😀
Jaunty fun! Subbed!
you had me at jaunty! thank you!
Where’s your blog? I want to read it again!
lol. i think you’re at it? it’s http://www.sweetmotherlover.wordpress.com — oh, you’re probably reading it now. i’m tired. 🙂 – moms
Found it! 🙂
This is hilarious. If you’re like me, now you will worry about when you will NEXT be Freshly Pressed. It’s been over a year for me–and that is killing me!
Hugs,
Kathy
oh, lawd, kathy. i’m told from other fp’ers that this never ends!!!! well, at least we can commiserate and blog about it. ay yay yay. thank you for stopping by here and hugs to you too! – moms
Brilliant, I chuckled my way through this.
really glad you liked it, cz. thank you. – moms
Yes, Jared Leto is a beautiful man ❤ I certainly wouldn't hold you back from writing more of him in the future either ^.~
Awesome job on this though ~ so funny! Congrats!
thankyou, kitania. i appreciate that. – mother
Entertaining post. First thing that pops in my head as I’m pressing the publish button is min.1 though, then follow min .11-19 with that min.1 question still sitting there. Thats when I ask myself why I do this to myself. Thank goodness I just post 2-3 times a week. haha~
Congrats on being freshly pressed! Now you won’t need to think of min.7 (or not as much as before?)
lol. i think the key there is ‘not as much as before’…because i’m told IT NEVER ENDS. regardless, THANK YOU for stopping by here and for the enjoyable comment. – mother
German and Austria haven’t been one country for a long time. The last time we were was from 1938 until 1945. We do however both speak German.
Says the history buff from Germany.
oh, sweet, andreas, i don’t think my high school social studies textbook had been updated since 1943! that must explain the problem, thus is the problem with the one of very few social programs we have here in the states – education. our only other one is the fire departments and they have no idea where europe is at all. i’m totally teasing you. but, THANK YOU for stopping by here and informing us all of this. because i can guarantee you (sadly) that most americans don’t know anything about it. 😉 – mother
haha Nearly every minute there feels so very familiar…
he, he. wink, wink, glad you liked it!
I don’t know why wordpress encourages this stuff?
they are stokers of the great fire that burns within!
Sure
Who’s been Freshly Pressed? Fuckin’ Sweet Mother, bitches! Sorry for the cussing’ mama, but this is awesome. Very well deserved.
thank you, bill. it’s nice to see my reggies here. like a lifeline, really. xo – moms
I truly admire your typing skills & integrity to reply to each comment…as well as the hilarious paranoid rant you posted. Like so many before me, your minute by minute dialogue echos my own paranoia. Congrats.
thank god you see it as integrity and not as desperation!! lol. i hated my high school typing teacher, but today i owe her an apology. a sincer, heartfelt, apology. 🙂 honestly, thank you for stopping by here and commenting. it is really appreciated. – mother
Ha, ha, ha! And I thought this was only a conversation in *my* head. LMAO. You took my insecure thoughts and blogged them, you magician you! So awesome to read this. I only *wish* I had as many followers as you do, Sweet Mother. Even my own mom doesn’t have time to read my blogs, and she’s got a super dull life. I can’t wait to read more!
thank you, laurie. saying you’ll read more THAT is the highest compliment you can pay me. i am duly humbled. and my mom doesn’t read my blog either. thank god. 🙂 much love – mother
Thanks for expressing the thoughts we all think in such a hilarious way. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
thank you, jenna. it was my pleasure! ;0 – moms
Blogs that make fun of the blogging world, yet deeply want acceptance from those in the blogging world tend to get some awesome attention (I would know, http://lizpurdy.wordpress.com/2011/09/22/an-appeal-to-wordpress/). Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
and here i thought it was more ‘fight club’ – ish. as in, ‘those who speak of freshly pressed, never get freshly pressed’. i’m happy to be dead wrong. 😉 i’ll definitely check out the link, liz. – mother
I write a blog on more news and current affairs based topics, but this post was absolutely brilliant
i like the news. and i’ve written things for restoringtruthiness.org too. so, welcome to my land. and thank you for the compliment. i really appreciate that. – mother
I have had a look around your site and there are some really good posts on it, have you any tips for getting views? as likes aren’t quite on my mind yet first I need people to read my blog
hey there mark, imho, get a facebook and twitter acct if you don’t already have them. announce your posts on there and engage, engage, engage with other blogs. that’s my two cents. hope it helps and thank you for the compliment. – mother
So funny. You are totally tapping into all of the bloggy angst out here in the world. Thanks for doing that so I don’t have to. Congrats on getting pressed!!
yes, it seems i’ve hit a nerve. who knew? thank you, stephenie. i appreciate it. – mom
I like it! I might do one of the panicky 3 minutes before I post anything on anything!!! Congrats on FP xxx
thank you, sweet, friend. i appreciate that and the more brits here, the better. used to live there myself. 😉 – mother
Whereabouts, I live in God’s own county!! Yorkshire. The most beautiful place!! x
lived in edinburgh, scotland, for two years. just got back stateside about six months ago, actually. LOVED IT. ALL OF THE UK IS LOVELY. my brother flew over for the summer – him, a friend, and my wifesy piled into a car and drove the whole of it from bath to isle of skye. such a wonderful trip. i even went to the small welsh town where my grandfather was from. a very memorable trip. glad to meet you here, even virtually, that is! lol.
Happy to meet you too, never been stateside but love the UK especially the north x
Reblogged this on Aphrodite Photography and commented:
Found this particularly funny!!
thank you for the reblog, aphrodite!
Reblogged this on A Pertinent Riot.
thank you for the reblog, hannah. it is appreciated. – mother
OMG!!! Had tears rolling down my face! I can soooo relate. I have shared, not only did I tweet this but someone walking by my desk asked why I was laughing so hard so had them stop and read it… they loved it too! I am now a follower that hopefully won’t be confused with a stalker. 🙂
stalker, follower, i’m not too picky. lol. thank you for saying so and you showed it to a work-mate! now i’m floored with excitement because i think we all deserve a laughing-break. i try to have one every hour. doesn’t always work though. too many blogging thoughts. lol. anyway, once again, duly grateful, cyber-curtseying, and even smiling too. – mother
Now I feel so much better about checking my blog stats every day. I mean, I get like 1 or 2 likes per post, so obviously I have good cause to be even more neurotic than you 🙂 Cheers!
oh, bamboo. we all are neurotic, aren’t we? lol. well, at least we can bask in the glow that is the insecurity of all of humanity…cause i think we all do this nonsense. anyhoo, thanks for stopping by here. it is greatly appreciated. – mother
What a great post! Being new to blogging, I thought I was the only one having these thoughts. Great to know that even seasoned bloggers go through this. Also congrats on being FP’ed!
if by seasoned, you mean – two months into blogging. not so seasoned really. i think this is out there for anyone to grab. even those who have mocked it mercilessly while still wanting it – like me. 😉 and undoubtedly we ALL go through this! lol. so glad you liked it and thank you. – mother
Your post probably didn’t suck today didn’t it? lol Congrats on getting pressed, that was hilarious 🙂
so glad you liked it. just when you think you know something, the wordpress gods blow it right out the window. lol. glad to be of service. – mother
You totally get the mindset , loved the post!
very glad to hear. thank you.
Thank you, for sharing your thoughts on blogging – they are exactly how I feel and felt ashamed to admit even to myself! You were brave enough to make me feel fearless about letting my fearful thoughts surface after each blog. Thank you!
“in unity there is strength” – my dear friend. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! lol. glad you enjoyed it. – mother
Ah, the man with the golden pen, I see. Very nice; you ARE gifted. 🙂
WOman, but thank you. and THANK YOU gain for the lovely comment. – mother
This is one of the few freshly pressed entries I’ve really liked. It was funny and true. Keep it up!
bitchy, you are not living up to your name with that lovely comment! lol. thank you for saying so. i know what you mean and i truly appreciate you saying so. – mother
I really liked this, I have very similar thoughts just at lower numbers 🙂
I was thrilled today with 11 likes & 90 views…Hopefully in time but I certainly recognize my own thoughts in your 31 minutes.
dearest beth, HONESTLY, i don’t think those are very low numbers at all. keep the faith, sweet sistah. time and persistence are the trees that yield the fruit of all things. oh, jesus christ, something inspirational like that. 😉 seriously, thank you for reading it. i’m glad you liked it. – mother
Very funny. I’m glad I’m not the only neurotic one out there. I see from your comments we’re all a little out there. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed 🙂
thank you. yes, it’s become quite clear that the collective subconscious is not so subconscious at all! lol. glad you’ve visited here and hope to see you again. – mother
New to blogging, and LOVE this. So true!! (Though, since I just started, your expectations have grown higher than mine. With only 22 followers so far, I sometimes don’t even get a “like”. : (… ). Haha. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
stay strong, friend, stay strong. it will come – trust me. and thank you! – mother
very good writing!
thank you, imagina. i appreciate that! – mother
Haha don’t complain, I’ve never had such blog loving like that! And thumbs up for hitting Freshly Pressed – lots and lots of likes to be proud of
it’s overwhelming, i’ll tell you that. but, in a good way. thank you for saying so. i truly appreciate it. – mother
Damn, I’m still catching up on your blog. You know only the hospital kept me away. I swear. I did keep asking for my phone so I could read your blog, but the morphine drip was too steady and I blacked out for a couple days. Thanks for the shout-out.
P.S. When can I start calling you Mom?
you can start immediately! lol. trans, we’ve missed you here. i hope you are recovering and okay. oh and the morphine, i swear an fp’d should come with a drip itself. ay yay yay. anyway, so good to see one of my reggies here – like being thrown a life jacket during a tsunami. xo – mother
Oh sure, fame will take over and you’ll never speak to me again. I’ll have to stalk you to get any attention at all.
is that what this is? jesus christ, no wonder the heartburn. no, where do i pick up the check to pay my rent. oh, riiiiigggghhhht…. lol. transy, you will always be a part of my inner blogging circle. if this blog had google+ rings you’d be in the one that means closest..plllllaaaat. i have nothing more.
I was always a needy child.
i raise you a needy child and see you a needy adult…or at least needy-ish. lol.
Better than nebbish. Nebbish and needy … ooh, social suicide.
just for using the word nebbish, you are tops in my book.
“Min 26: “When I don’t see the numbers on that orange button go up, I don’t feel alive. Seriously, Sweet Mother, you need help.””
Oh, yeah
oh, yeah, indeed! we are ALL “humans in recovery” – some of us from blogging. 😉
Absolutely!
Every writer/blogger is hypocritical enough to say we don’t care what others think and the number of likes don’t say shit about the quality of the post. But is that really true?
You put that point across very well!
Also, congratulations on being freshly pressed. 😀
oh, we ALL care, don’t let anyone tell you different. even when i try not to care, i care. it’s a viscious cycle. lol. anyway, thank you and thank you for stopping by here and commenting. – mother
I’m not too worried about ever being Preshly Fressed. What worries me most is I haven’t a clue what a HTC Inspired 4G on AT&T is. New income tax code…because we do need another one…but the real question is: does it have a loop hole I can use? Oh..wait…it’s a new country having an election primary……………..right? So…where do I vote………………..Oh SweetMother where have I gone wrong? I’ll wait another 31 minutes for your answer and then I’m outta here………………..
wait no more, my sweet, friend! here i am. lol. a 4g is one of those annoying android phones, like an iphone, but from google. so, i basically answer comments from everywhere – the toilet, the funeral, the maternity ward, everywhere. no place is sacred. ok, many places are. now, don’t worry about the freshly pressed thing bc as you can see, even when you announce, “I WILL NEVER BE FRESHLY PRESSED!” – it too can happen to you, “if you’re young at heart”. I think that was a commercial from my childhood. thank you for letting your neurotic thoughts flow here. they are welcomed. this is a safe space for everyone who is as relaxed as woody allen, as in – not relaxed at all. – mother
Oh gawd…an android speaking to me from my closet…or would it be your closet? Thanks for the heads up…I’ll be looking in sacred places. Careful…don’t trip over the rock we use to keep the outhouse door closed….and for all our sake…leave it where it is!!!
probably my closet, though i hardly use it anymore. lol. and yes, the outhouse door MUST remain closed at the very least that’s what laura ingalls has always told me. thank you, new friend. you are a fresh breeze today as you would be on any day. – moms
Morose Code. Love it.
thank you. i find it’s sadder than regular old, morse code. lol.
Morose code – for when you’re just not feeling sunny enough to send a heliograph.
(I’m sorry.)
(No I’m not.)
“when you’re feeling depressed enough to send your very saddest…” – morose code, much more sulky than the perkier morse code. thank you for noticing that bit, not many did. lol. and thank you for commenting, mackerel. momma is grateful. – me
thank you for that, jasmine. you are very kind. – mother
Is this an experiment or a practical joke by the WordPress Gods? I love it!!! I am brand new and I need a 12 step program to stop hitting refresh.
If my kids sue me later for sharing their entire personal childhood experience on WordPress…I have a plan!!!!
I am going to counter sue them for ruining my bellybutton!
For the love of God can’t anyone get out of my uterus before reaching double digits? They were like farm animals! You check out my new blog and I will check out yours. Then we can think less about our followers from countries we have never heard not really reading our stories but stealing our banking info. 😉 I am joking!
allthatmakesyou.com
this is up for ‘best comment award’, which will get you nothing, but still…it means i liked it. oh the familial suing that could go on. and unfortunately, most of what you’ve just read is very, VERY real. lol. thanks for stopping by here and for contributing that delicious comment. – moms
Reblogged this on Chicago's Still Cool and commented:
My feelings exactly! It is kind of tough getting this new blog off the ground and getting people to read it!
thank you for the reblog, jimmy. yep, it’s a tough road. wp is great though, ’cause they have stuff like this. thanks for stopping by. i think, perhaps, i’ve hit a chord here. lol. – mother
No worries
I like the blog 🙂
-jimmy
This was brilliant. Well done on getting FP. So glad I’m not the only one who is obsessive about blogging. Didn’t read all the comments, but it looks like there are many of us out there. The worrying thing is I only started blogging properly on 1st March and I’m already way out of control. Aagh!.
oh, it happens SO quickly and it is a slippery slope from there, dear fiona. I am only two months in myself and thinking of checking myself into a blogging rehab, but i think it would be no use as the first thing i would ask is, ‘do you have wireless?’ anyway, thank you for coming by here and i hope to see you again. – mother
LOL, I love #23. I write a beer blog and once I wrote a quote about Ben Franklin and the most of the people who stumble across my blog are searching for “Ben Franklin Photos/Quotes”. There have been a couple of times when I thought, “Can I work Ben into this post, also?
Great work, congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
wrote “about” a quote from Ben Franklin…..sigh….
thank you, new friend. and i love beer. so, i’ll be checking out your blog. it’s amazing what people search for and then end up on my blog…i’m guessing most of them looking for ‘ladybug three way’ are disappointed. lol. and yes, you should ALWAYS work ben franklin into a post. – mother
Reblogged this on Blab Central and commented:
Something that it hilariously relatable.
thank you for the reblog, mademoiselle. i greatly appreciate it! – mother
You’re welcome! I just discovered your blog through Freshly Pressed and I love your posts. 😀
thank you. that is very kind. 🙂 – me
Been there done that! Congrats, on getting freshly pressed.
lol. haven’t we all, now. thank you, kind, marta. i appreciate it. – mother
LOL!
I only commented and liked out of sympathy for your ego. 😉
Kidding! 🙂
I usually have one thing that goes through my mind: I need more blog friends. Time to visit random blogs.
*wave*
stephanissima, i’ll take you however i can get you. 🙂 was that too much? anyway, we all need blogging friends without them, how would we survive. mine are wonderful, if you happen to click their links. much love and a multitude of thanks – mother
Great post… I think that is how one feels; once they get their blog popular among certain people.
I think “that is why God doesn’t let people visit my blog at all.” (sobs)…
Wee, I am definitely gonna follow you… once I get to read such “beautiful” thoughts every day, my life would be much more easier to deal with.
Dear sweet mother, you are great… and well yes, congrats on being freshly pressed.. 🙂
oh, anxious, thank you for the kind words. and i can relate, oh, i can relate. but, the gods have smiled on me today and brought me great gifts, such as you – so, all is well, until tomorrow, at least. and thank you, dear friend, i truly, truly appreciate it. – moms
Hahaha. There’s definitely a lot of truth here. My blog’s a bit small time still, so instead of happening over 31 minutes, it takes place over the course of a whole day. I mean, I even use the WordPress app in my phone to keep track of visits and everything.
oh, joe, as a fellow wordpress app user – i have it installed on my 4g – i feel your pain. and yes, i could expand that list to take place over a full day, but i fear my family would have me hospitalized. lol. thanks for stopping by here and i hope to see you again. – mother
Hahaha this is fantastic! I know the feelin too, “why don’t people like me???” Oh a few people liked the post all is well in the world. hahaha
it’s a disease, sarah! a disease, i tell you. lol. so glad you liked it. and thank you for coming by and saying nice things. – mother
Ya totally! Congrats on getting freshly pressed!
Hahaha it’s so funny to me because I do the same thing 🙂
oh, lawd, we all do. we all do. 🙂 glad you liked it.
Lol super funnyyy! I literally just started my blog like 2 weeks ago and it totally takes over my life. Unfortunately, I get like 40 hits a day if I’m lucky. Read my blog if you get a chance and let me know what you think! share if you like it 😉
glad you liked it, alexis, and as soon as the carpel tunnel syndrome that i developed today BACKS OFF…i’m there! all the best, mother
Oh, man, this is hilarious! I had a rough work day and really needed this laugh. Kudos. And CONGRATS on being freshly pressed:-)
so glad to hear that. life is too hard and i’m glad this brightened your day. your congrats are much appreciated over here, i can assure you. hope to see you again soon. – mother
Hysterical! I am glad I am not the only one who obsesses over this! You have great ‘voice’ by the way. I wouldn’t worry about sucking
jackie, jacqueline, jax – can i call you jax? thank you for saying so. you have even used the illusive ‘voice’ term, which leaves me humbled. so, i am grateful and you have relieved me of my suckage-anxiety…at least for the next moment or two. lol. – mother
hehe good job! and so far, no this didn’t suck!
phew, no i can rest. 😉 thanks for reading, baki. sweet mother appreciates it. – me
I totally can’t relate to this at all. Just kidding. Love it.
lol. so glad you liked it. 🙂
I know how you feel MOM.
MOTHER LOVES YOU. never forget that. and the alamo. and by alamo i mean ozzy osbourne peeing on it. – mother
Dude I hear you. Blogging will make you completely insane. I have decided that I cannot pinpoint what interests people – so far no rhyme or reason. Maybe I should write about my mom. Or your mom. Whichever.
never underestimate the power of mom exploitation for blog writing. it works! lol. thanks for stopping by here. great name btw, as it is mine, as well. 😉 – mother
Noted. Post about mother’s mother coming right up. woohoo!
fists up! power to the people!
Good writers are hard to find and job offers are few..
Thank goodness for WordPress,being freshly pressed and you!
and thank you for that rhyme, dearest radical. not enough people rhyme in the comments section. it is wonderful and has brought a smile to my face that you have done so. and i second that thank goodness for wordpress line too. hugs and kisses, mother.
Reblogged this on Egill and commented:
Fünny! 🙂
thank you for the reblog, kind person. i appreciate it!
Min 10: Hi, you have a new reader from the Netherlands. Very close to Polynesia and Sweden. One original thought /minute?! I had one 30 years ago and I`m still waiting for the next one. Nice post.
That is Nice in France.
lol. we here at sweet mother and by we, i mean I, love the netherlands. so, welcome. yes, they come slowly for me, those original thoughts, but as long as they come…and my guess is you have more of them than you give yourself credit for. much like your very original comment. 😉 – mother
Lol. This is so funny.
so glad you liked it, jessica.
Hahaha. Haha. Nice.
glad you liked.
As someone who isn’t going to get on Freshly Pressed ever and averages 2-3 likes A WEEK, the fact that you get a like in the first minute of a post makes me jealous.
ah, jealousy…one of the many signs of blogging psychosis. first you want more likes, then you want larger graphs, then you want reblogs, then you lose your job, and your car, and your family asks you to stop… careful what you wish for. lol. seriously, if it can happen to me, it could happen to you…
HAHA! Right?! Blogging times are hard times! I read this and thought, “10 likes?!” and then I mentally went through all of the thoughts on the list. lol So true.
so glad you liked it, cb. we are all a bit nutty in cyberland. best to throw open the windows sometimes and say, ‘it’s just a blog’. wait, did i just say that? i take it back. i didn’t really mean it. thanks for coming by here. 🙂 – mother
Great post!!
thank you, runner girl.
I’ve never been liked. Except by myself. That’s sad….
Only written three so far but have becme numbers obsessed!
i bet your liked by more people than that. i like you just from your comment, so there. oh, it takes so little – one post for me and i was HOOKED. there will be no stopping you now. 🙂 – mother
Hopefully I’m liked generally – at least by my parents…
Lol! Loved it. I can relate to so many of these!
i hear you, lube. sorry, i couldn’t resist that. thanks for stopping by. mother loves you! – moms
Very humorously inspired because many blogger tend to think that. We may social networking our button off to only receive less than 10 responses. A nice way to explain the blogger mind within 30 mins.
May God bless you my friend!
thank you and same to you, my friend.
Reblogged this on freechick and commented:
Love it, though I have to say I’d love to have as wide a demographic and as many views as yours! But it is funny how addictive it can be to look at who, if anyone, has read what you’ve posted 🙂
thank you, for the reblog, freechick. i suppose i had those views in the beginning because i have a decent facebook and twitter following from the whole comedy thing i’ve done for years before i got into this blogging thing. that helped, for sure. though, the comics i know all had in the thousands when it came to website views, so i felt like a loser. it never ends. the self-judgement never ends. best to pretend the numbers aren’t there. that’s mainly impossible though. – mother
Love the insecurities.. I think ever blogger has them. That’s why I try very hard not to check the stats. Congrats on being freshly pressed. 🙂
thank you. i really appreciate that. i admire your fortitude. i find them completely difficult not to check. clearly. lol. – mother
Hahaha this is too funny i found my self in couple of these
http://arhitekturaplus.wordpress.com/
it’s good to know you’re not alone, eh? thanks for stopping by here and commenting. – mom
Funny stuff… I don’t take it all too seriously, I rarely get comments and super jazzed if I reach 100 hits in a day. But you see… I am sick,writing for me is like crack… If I don’t write, I may lose my mind.
And I have a “niche” I write about motorcycles and the love of the ride.
Congrats of being Pressed. I guess those numbers are looking good today.
it sounds like you are winning the blogging battle then, iedaria. writing is also like crack for me. i do it EVERYDAY and more than anything else. i’m determined to do it. it’s like a disease. honestly, thank you for stopping by here and as soon as i can uncurl my fingers from the keyborad, i’ll check out your blog. i mean, who doesn’t like a nice hog from time to time? you say that in the motorcycle world, right? ugh, i’m such a dork. – mother
ugh, I wish I had half the views…lol (that’s what I’m thinking about when I read your post lol).
careful, you’ll be writing a post on my post if you let your brain go there… lol. seriously, we all feel the same way. you are NOT alone. keep the faith. – mother
I love it! This is exactly how I feel every time I publish a post. I feel like it’s a pretty good post, then I get barely any views at all, probably because the title sucks, or the post just sucks. Or my publicize isn’t working. Or whatever other reasons I can come up with. 🙂 Although I probably don’t blog enough, not on a particular schedule. 🙂
Great post! Congrats on Freshly Pressed!
thank you, samantha. it’s nice to know we’re not alone, huh? i think we – of the blogosphere – share a brain on this one or something. thank you for the kind words. – mother
HA! I was laughing really hard at this. This is so true for many of us I think. And now that you’ve become freshly pressed it is going to become worse. I think we become snobs about our stats and get really pissed when the page views drop from 10,000 a day.
oh. dear. god. is that what awaits me. i do NOT want to be the first blogger to have a susan boyle moment and be rushed to the hospital for stats under 10,000 – jesus christ, what have i done? lol. i’m glad you liked it, bettie. seriously.
– mother
I enjoyed this a lot. Great post
thank you, stephen. i’m glad you did. – mother
that is really funny, yet very true!
all true, skye. all true. like a verbal scan of my brain, really. thank you for the kind words and thank you for stopping by here. – mother
Congrats. Very original. One reader from Malaysia!
thank you, Malaysia. Welcome to my cyberworld. with love, sweet mother
Hey! I really liked this article. I was just messing around looking for blogs to read, and this actually made the top page or something. I don’t even remember now.
Anyways. I don’t know how into music you are, but I’m trying to get a crowd for my music blog, so check it out please or maybe tell someone about it! I have…2 followers.
I’m going to look around the rest of your blog now!
XoXo Radium Rollercoaster
glad you liked it, radium. and as soon as i can uncurl my cramping fingers from answering all these comments, i will check out your blog. lol. stay strong, my friend. the tortoise wins the race. – sweet mother
Stumbled upon you on Freshly Pressed. Brilliant post as you know by the level of commenting. Stats off the charts today…Brilliant strategy. (hmmm.protesting one’s post…)
yes, stats are definitely off the charts. but, i will say it was less of a strategy and more of a reality. in fact, if you look at some of the original comments, we were all joking that ‘saying you want to be freshly pressed, never gets you freshly pressed’ – i’m glad to be wrong on that one! lol. seriously, shandra, thank you for stopping by here. – mother
tongue in cheek with all the rest. 🙂 but seriously, Congrats!
Wow you have soooo many comments on this post! It’s just incredible! I really like your post it’s witty and interesting to read 🙂
thank you, nonfashionista. i really appreciate you saying so. hope to see you again. – mother
Best. Post. Ever.
Best. Comment. Ever. THANK YOU. – mother
I shall follow you! This post was absolutely hot. I loved it. I couldn’t stop laughing, because it’s like we have the same thoughts. I freak out all the time because no one reads my blog. Except for stalkers. 😉
I’m always checking the stats. I even set WordPress to my home page in Google Chrome so that I can check it and be reminded of my failure every time I open up the internet machine.
Well, have a lovely day 🙂
oh, taryn, wordpress on your home page, you are a sick child, indeed. don’t worry, there’s room on the boat for you. we’re all here doing the same thing, praying someone comes by…lol. seriously, thanks for the kind words. i take a follow as the highest compliment and you have a lovely day, as well.
Oh my God, I’m starting to fear that I might end up with “blogging Schizophrenia”. Haaah! The signs are everywhere already! (^_^)
we are the afflicted, helen. you are not alone. stand strong. we will throw you a life raft – you can check your stats from there. lol. – mother
Did you notice??? You are freshly pressed! Yahoo!! 🙂
notice? hardly. i mean, I’M DROWNING OVER HERE. lol. happily drowning though. it’s fun. like a blog explosion…but, so nice to see my reggies, like you, wendy. it feels, i don’t know, like a beer after a busy day. 🙂 moms
thank you for the reblog, new friend. i truly appreciate it. – mother
mrfantasyfreak.blogspot.com
thoughts? its a sports blog
as soon as i can stop the swelling in my hands, i’ll give her a look…
Hey, after eons of agonizing we both got Freshly Pressed today… Congrats, it was well deserved. I found myself laughing out loud several times at your, and frankly, my own well-reflected and represented, neuroticism. Really enjoyed this post. You’ve a new follower in me, and I promise I won’t get kidnapped, or go and get some sort of life outside of compulsively checking My Stats. I promise.
Keep up the good work….
-B. Littleton
B! Congrats to you as well, dear friend. i hit the follow button immediately when i saw the lovely photos on your blog. it’s nice to meet another fellow blogging-neurotic at the very least to commiserate with! lol. seriously, thanks for the follow and i look forward to reading more of your posts. – beck, i mean, MOTHER 😉
Love it! Nothing brings out the self consciousness like the realization that you’ve put your work out into the world to be viewed by any putz (like me) with an internet connection. Even though I hardly use it, I treasure the “edit post” button more than anything in the world some days.
oh, i so hear you. the internet is a scary and wonderful place. and yes, that ‘edit’ button has become my best friend. thanks for reading and i hope to chat with you again. – mother
Haha, great post!
glad you liked it, haidy. 🙂
Fantastic post! I feel so many simular things to you! Funny, I guess we all go through the same anxiety – I thought it was just me 🙂
Oh and big congrats for being Freshly Pressed – you made it – haha!
it seems this post was more of a public service somehow like smokey the bear. because it sounds like EVERYONE goes through this, which is nice to know…it will also stop me from seeing a psychiatrist, “oh, everyone feels that way…pheeew.” lol. thanks for stopping by here and reading and of course, thank you for the kind words. – mother
Agree with every one of these, entertainingly enough — except “blogging is dead.” Could be true, but I guess it depends on your definition of blogging, though.
Funny post. Thanks for sharing these.
P.S. — Speaking of sharing, definitely perturbed about the ineffectiveness of “share this” buttons as well. Would be ideal if they were at the top of the page, rather than bottom. Would probably work better.
thanks for the great comment, john. i don’t know what it is with those ‘share this’ buttons, but i swear getting someone to press them is akin to asking them to adopt your child. people find it to be a big responsibility somehow or they can’t be bothered. i’m not sure which. glad you liked the post. and i too, PRAY, that blogging is not dead. 😉 thanks again for coming by and i hope to see you again here. – mother
LOLOL OMG YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!
loved this post !!!!! and congrats…need I write more exclamation points???!!!!!!
nope, you put enough in there. lol. thank you for saying so, eva. i really appreciate it. -sweet mother
OMG ~ Get.out.of.my.head. I mean it! Not 31 minutes in…NOW! 😀
Congrats on being fp’d – you rocked it
thank you, yarn. mommar REALLY appreciates your kind sentiments. – me
hahah this is hilarous!! Imagine how it is to get a comment/like every WEEK only! 🙂 Great writing & ps I love the layout! (I always feel like mine look really narrow & then people feel like that have to scroll for AGES to read them and then maybe they won’t bother??)
we worry so much about the templates don’t we? don’t worry too much, just write. and thank you for stopping by here. momma appreciates it!
Well, now you’re Freshly Pressed, so congratulations! The exact same thoughts go through my head, in pretty much the same order…but I’m pretty sure your blog is more interesting than mine. Now I just need to find my niche, right?
yes, it’s all about the nice. though i still have no idea what mine is. lol. seriously, it’s got to be fun. if it ain’t fun, why bother. anyway, thanks on the congrat and for coming by here. hope to see you again – mother
and by nice, i mean niche…uuuuuuugggggh. that’s why no one in estonia is reading. lol.
Um, I totally missed that this was freshly pressed, I am guessing I am not addicted enough, no wait, I was coughing up a lung sprinting with the stroller!
lol. it was just freshly pressed today. so, i’m just sifting through the whirlwind now. wish i was in your stroller, i may have to be whisked away from my laptop…aaarrrhhh, i mean YAAAAAY. it is pretty fun, actually.
Congrats, so well deserved!
thank you, lady friend.
I feel like this describes the way I feel every single time right after I publish a post. And I update my blog weekly, if that! I don’t get many comments but the ones I do definitely make me feel awesome that some people are reading my blog. 😀 It totally makes my day.
i totally understand what you mean. today, for once, i feel like a superstar. 😉 seriously, thanks for coming by here, amelie, and for saying those very true things. – mother
Oh my freakin’ God, that was the funniest thing I have seen today. You just basically described my life. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone.This really isn’t sufficient, but what else is there to say? AWESOME.
thank you, cl. honestly, i’m humbled. thank you and i’m so glad you liked it. – mother
haha! You’re a funny guy. I hope you’re happy with today’s result.
girl, but thank you. very happy! yay! – mother
I haven’t laughed out loud about a piece of writing in a long time. Thanks for this, it’s awesome!
now that is a high compliment. thank you back and welcome to my world. – mother
Haha, Thanks for the laugh, shall follow. Keep up the great work
i appreciate that, sunny. thank you. – mother
Reblogged this on Azalea blog and commented:
Your are great of your thoughts…
thank you, ‘coupon codes’. i’m not going to lie, you sound ‘spammish’. i suppose time will tell…lol.
I’m just starting my blog, and am enjoying the more experienced (and often much younger) blogger’s posts. this one really made me smile – I’m looking forward to retiring at the end of next week so I can start doing regular posts and worrying about stats!
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed – and thanks for giving me a giggle this evening!
aw, shucks, it’s my pleasure. and your blog sounds interesting. i promise to check it out as soon as i can uncurl my fingers from all the commenting back and forth. lol. and congrats to you, on the retirement! that’s huge! – mother
So I’m not the only one… great post!
oh, you are SO not alone, feisty. lol. we are all a touch blogging-crazy. 🙂 – mother
Love it! I did not end up here in search of Jared Leto but he definitely makes a nice addition to any blog!
true dat. he is my man-crush, indeed. glad you liked it! all the best, sweet mother
Honey, judging by the comments and likes, you were off by a mile… come to my blog and see the vast ocean of commentlessness, and I’ll show you what a blog looks like that has sucked for about a year and a half 😛 Funny blog btw.
as soon as i can uncurl my fingers, james, i will visit your blog and leave you a comment. this mother promises, as we all deserve blog love. seriously, thank you for the kind words and the funny comment. – mother
Awww, shucs, Getting nice replies like this is a great surrogate 🙂
Awesome. Throughout the many different blogs I’ve written over the years, this is almost exactly, obviously with my own personal flare, what goes through my mind. Great job getting it down in words!
thank you, chris, for saying so. it is much appreciated. – SM
hey, I only get like 15 visits a day maybe… so your doing alright
now i am, sure. 😉 – mother
i guess i’m the last one to say this but that was pure awesomeness lol
thank you, scott. i really appreciate that. – mother
I very much enjoyed this, i can relate to a few of those thoughts!
Heres a view from Hong Kong!
x
thank you, hong kong. – mother
Oh how true it is. In fact, I check my stats about every 2.7 minutes before I go to bed. I eat, check stats. I do the dishes, check the stats. I brush my teeth, check the stats. Tell my wife I am coming to bed, but instead check the stats. Go to bed and give my wife a kiss, but decide I better check the stats again, just in case someone decided to look at it in that 10 seconds it took me to climb in bed and kiss my wife. It’s an obsession really.
Thanks for creating the words for it.
that is so funny, chad. we’re all nuts. thanks for making me chuckle. stay strong. it must dissipate after a while, the blogging crazy. i don’t know. 🙂 – mother
LOVE!
RETURNED LOVE! 🙂 – mother
WOW! So glad you made freshly pressed so I have another amazing blogger to envy..errr..follow! Laughed and found myself in every minute. Minute 26 goes like this: “Waiting on the little orange button to appear again and light my life like a Christmas tree.” Sad, I know. There is therapy, I think.
Looking forward to following and finding some inspiration from a talented and successful blogger. Thanks!
my pleasure, heather. thank you for the kind words. i really appreciate it. – mother
OK, really relieved I commented before you became famous and everything because now you’re gonna have to watch your back. You’ll be all like, “Do they love me for ME or do they love me for my newly minted Freshly Pressed fame?”
You know who has your back Sweet Mother.
Well done, so deserved, and overdue!
I’m SO SO SO happy for you!
hold on, I never get a “like” on any of my posts, and I don’t think they’re too bad, so don’t worry about it, you’re doing great 🙂
thank you, hot. i appreciate that. – moms
Wow! This was hilarious, but I’m not gonna lie, as someone who is just starting out, and has just barely double digit followers, and you have thousands, it’s a little bit harder to empathize. However, I have the same dialogue with myself now, and i’m sure if I ever got to as many followers as you, I would still keep up that funny yet neurotic dialogue. Don’t worry, everybody loves you and your blog. You don’t need the Westboro Baptist Church: ) Maybe I do haha!!! You just got yourself another follower as well: )
nina, i am ALSO just starting at this. so, stay strong. i only had around 140 something hard-won followers as of this morning. if you’re seeing thousands of followers for me, that’s because it integrates my fb numbers and there i do have a lot of ‘friends’, but that’s because of my comedy career that i worked at for years. so, keep doing what you’re doing. and NONE of us need the westboro baptist church – those a-holes!!! lol. but, honestly, thank you for following. i take that as the highest compliment and i will try and do my best not to disappoint you. all the best, mother
Very well written! It made me laught out loud on a day that has been so yucky…thanks for sharing.
thank you. i am delighted whenever i can slightly un-yucky a day for another fellow human. come here whenever you need. much love, mother
I totally understand some of this! I write a blog where I’m asking for people’s thoughts about an app I’m writing, and I go crazy when I don’t see people viewing it because, well, I’m craving feedback. So, I get where you’re coming from!
oh, drummer boy, it’s a hamster wheel, i tell ya. i can’t even imagine what goes into creating an app…though i love them, i can barely make a hyperlink. ay yay yay. such is my life. thank you for commenting here. – mother
I love it! ❤ was laughing the whole time :))
so glad to hear that. thank you for the kind words. – momma
“My blog will never get freshly pressed!” And then it does. Lol!
here’s what i’m saying next, ‘i will never have a million dollars’…and then… well, we’ll have to wait and see. pls, god. pulease. lol. anyway, ashely, thank you for stopping by here. – mother
As a new blogger, I think about half of what you had on here (okay, maybe more than half but shhhhh!). I love this post! Thanks for reminding me that I’m not completely neurotic and alone with my thoughts lol
I shared this on my fb because it’s awesome! I am now a new cult follower!
cheers
leena, welcome to the cult! your matching nike sneakers will be arriving in the mail in a few days… seriously, thank you for the kind words. momma is humbled. momma is bowing – virtually speaking – like a geisha girl. hope to see you here again soon. – mother
The pleasure is all mine. Will be sure to keep you posted when I decide to blog in the nude or partially…. will let you know how it goes… you just may be on to something 😉
oh and congrats on being FP’d! YAY YOU! 😀
Oh my gosh this post is freaking hilarious!
thank you, charlie. momma is grateful. very, very grateful. xo
Reblogged this on and commented:
This post by SweetMother is simply hilarious!! I’m sure many, MANY bloggers have felt this way after publishing a post. I know while I read this I could certainly relate. What I really appreciated however was the neurotic dialogue she had with herself. One, it was very comical. Two, it made me realize how funny my own thought process is daily and how ridiculous my self-criticism can be!!! Now that I’m more conscious of it, I’m going to try and AT LEAST make my self-talk (often critical self-talk) much more comical. We all need to laugh at ourselves sometimes. Better yet, daily! If we laugh more, especially at ourselves, perhaps life will suddenly become less “why so serious?” and a lot more……….See photos : )
oh my god, nina. thank you for reblogging. you are a new friend. what you just said was so insightful and so true, i’m with you. our self – talk does NOT need to be this brutal!! but, we do need to laugh at ourselves. anyway, i’m so glad you said the things that you did and i hope to see you again here. – mother
You are most welcome!!! Please check out my blog if you get a chance as well. I would really appreciate it: )
http://www.withanopenheart.org
Also, If you have any advice for a new blogger I would love the extra help! You have soo many followers already, and If I’m right, you only started this blog a few months back. You’re doing exceptionally well!!
Best,
Nina
Ok, you’ve been freshly pressed suffer from some kind of garden variety neurosis which most of us have and hopefully delight in laughing about your mind loop as much as we do when reading it. Maybe you can accelerate the anxiety to 15 or 20 minutes post-blog now. Just try it – you’ll gain an extra ten minutes to you day! Great post and new follower..
so glad to hear that, karma. i am humbled and delighted. welcome to my little cyber-club. – mother
Great post! I thought I was the only one with the WordPress addiction. Nice to know I’m not alone.
marti, we are all suffering from this disease. it’s like polio in the 1890’s or whenever the hell that happened. anyway, thank you for stopping by here. momma appreciates it!
My pleasure.
Haha so I was honestly just doing most of these things and thought I’d read freshly pressed and then check back to see if anything changed 😛
any diversion is a good diversion to allow the stat gods to grow something. you made the right choice. lol. and i FEEL your pain. for reals. thanks for reading. – mother
I normally don’t comment on blogs that suck. Thankfully, after reading your blog post my tradition conitinues. Nice Job.
Congrats on being Freshly Sucked…ooops, my bad. I mean congrats on being Freshly Pressed.
Mr. Bricks
thanks, mr. bricks. you’re a nutball, but i like ya. rock it. – mother
lol lol lol. Keep blogging!!
thank you, my friend. – mother
Gold! I love this – thanks! I was going to send this reply one word at a time so you had more comments to pop up and more orange numbers to get excited about but thought you probably have enough 🙂
true, indeed, lou. true, indeed. and my fingers have cramped. thanks for the kind words though. – mother
Our blog also get hits from unexpected keywords!
Very funny post! Thanks for the laugh. The trepidation between minutes 19 through 22 is unnerving. For comfort, I shove a bunch of Little Debbie Zebra cakes in my mouth. I call it Lil’ Debbie-ing it.
ok, you’re seriously in the running for ‘best comment’. an award that will gain you nothing, but is an award none the less. i mean, little debbie-ing. i laughed out loud. thank YOU for that. – mother
Yes! I’d like to thank my parents for this nothing award…
In return, I’m now following you – like an electronic STD.
mike, i’m sure there’s a designer somewhere who’s made an icon that is the cyber-cream for that. such is the wastefulness that is all of our current lives!! lol. anyway, brilliant, comment. glad you’re following. THANK YOU. – moms
Reblogged this on Been There Done That and commented:
This is a fantastic post! Please read!
i think 10 and 18 are the best….great blog keep it up
thank you, mike. i really appreciate that. – mother
LOL. Oh sweet mother of paranoia!!! I can relate. Totally. Here is my version of your post….although not so detailed. http://modernwomansociety.wordpress.com/2012/02/07/stop-the-traffic-where-the-heck-are-my-stats/
jen, i will check that out, the second i uncramp my fingers from responding to all these comments! lol. but, thank you for stopping by here. momma appreciates it! oh, she so does. keeps the paranoia at bay…at least until the morning. 🙂
We all care too much. Even people like me whose blogs are real crap.
By the way, I like the share buttons 😉 .
thank god someone is using them. geez louise, it’s like canvassing for sarah palin getting someone to use one of those! lol. thanks for the great comment and we do, we do, indeed, care too much. ha, ha. – mother
Reblogged this on lepicurieuse and commented:
For all the bloggers out there. Hillarious. Too funny!
thank you, dear friend.
It’s just too good to keep it to myself. It’s going on Facebook. Keep ’em comic (please). 🙂
will do. that’s a promise. and THANK YOU. – me
Very funny! I, too, feel dead (or dying) until I see some orange in the upper right corner of my screen. True, the number in the orange is almost exclusively a “1” or “2,” I am nevertheless quite grateful when it happens.
derek, i’m no idiot. i made SURE to take that screen capture on a very high orange button moment. lol. because i can assure you, they weren’t always that high of a number. and my sad little heart would light up with a ‘1’ or a ‘2’. this i know. thank you for the kind words…we all die a little bit everyday, as we blog…lol. – mother
Ha ha ha, I really laughed when I read this because I got through the same train of thought everytime. If I see a brief uptick in a certain old post,I start thinking I should churn out more to get more readers.
If I post more often, it doesn’t necessarily garner more reads/likes either. Quality does matter, that’s for sure.
Congrats on Freshly Pressed. As a fellow recipient (2 weeks ago), I can tell you the withdrawal is a worthy blog subject in and of itself. 😉
😀
oh, lawd, doug. i am not looking forward to that!!! lol. i have been warned by you and other fp’ers that the coming down is deadly…lol. but, thank you for the congrats. and i’m sure i’ll be doing a requisite, ‘what f.p. did to me…’ post. lol. – moms
Your post made me laugh today! Thank you!
my pleasure, thank you for reading. – me
It’s funny cause it’s something that all bloggers do. Great post !
yes, that seems to be true! lol. thanks for stopping by, chrissie. – mom
Okay…so now what?!
no idea, harold, no idea. 🙂 – mother
Your blog is so dangerously close to the mind of bloggers! Great post!
thank you, tinniam. i appreciate that. all the best, mother
Reblogged this on Jolene N, that's my name and commented:
This is like posted on behalf of all bloggers!
thank you for the reblog, jolene. momma appreciates it!
No, your post did not suck today. In fact it was very funny, all the way until I got to the morose code bit and then I laughed out loud.
I am reading it while I am ‘helping’ the kids with their homework, so in my mind immediately morose code became a sulky child with the morse code book in hand grumpily clicking out a message.
Thank you for the laugh, it helped me to better deal with my morose speller and morose reader….
By the way, I would love my orange button to say more than a maximum of 2, maybe I should just never click on it and let it build up to a decent level!
thank YOU for catching the morose code line. not everyone did. and i have always felt that morose code is just SO much sadder than morse code. lol. so, SO much sadder. 🙂 glad it made you laugh and thank you for commenting here. all the best, mother
Min 26 is particularly relevant to me. I’m glad to know that it’s not just me who takes stats as an affirmation of my identity as a person, a human being. Also, I get an average of maybe 2-3 likes a post (one of them coming from one of my best friends), for which I’m EXTREMELY grateful. Your 10 likes, for me, would just cause my head to explode from a combination of happiness and ego.
Congratulations on getting freshly pressed!:)
i hadn’t realized those stats were halfway decent until everyone told me to shutup for saying so!! lol. anyway, we all feel the same, patch, as this post has not hit a nerve, but exploded an artery. thank you for reading it and commenting. i am humbled and grateful. – mother
Reblogged this on Didi's pARTy Blog and commented:
Exactly what goes through my mind. And by the way… *fingers crossed* I want to have 136 views from the United States alone!!! {some day…perhaps… }
thanks for the reblog, didilta. i really appreciate it and if you ever need your blog to grow in the U.S., even by 1, only say the word and i’ll hope over there. 🙂 hugs, mother
This was EXCELLENT! Perhaps one of my favorite posts I have ever read regarding blogging! Scratch that, this is my favorite post ever about blogging!
yowzers. that is high praise indeed. thank you for saying so, kim. and thank you for swinging by here. big hug. – mother
Oh mehn, I just realized I suck at blogging. XD
suckage, is for plumbing. so, i can assure you…you do NOT. keep the faith, sistah. slowly, but surely, you can get yours too. hugs, mother
that’s sweet. we look up to you, momma. thank you.
thank you for the reblog, sycamore. i truly appreciate it. – mother
Great post, I know exactly how you feel the minutes and hours following a post drive me insane, although I’m already insane, it usually takes me to a new level of paranoia and anxiety.
I definitely will follow your blog and I look forward to reading more of your posts.
Dave.
thank you, dave. i take a follow as the highest compliment one blogger can pay to another. we’re all a little bit insane on here, so it’s nice to know i’m not alone. all the best, mother
I go through similar thought processes, except for me it’s “It’s been a minute and there’s only one view”
oh, we all do, dominique, we all do. stay strong! – mother
Haha, thanks, I will.
This is easily one of the funniest posts I’ve read since I started my own WordPress site. Congratulations on getting it to Freshly Pressed, it’s a terrific read.
thank you, raoul. that is very kind of you to say. – mom
This was just so creative and funny and… real. Just loved it.
thank you for saying so, colin. that means a lot to me. – mother
“Did my post suck today? It’s been a minute and there is only one “like”. Maybe it sucked.”
Haha!! I’m lucky if I EVER get even 1 like on my posts 🙂 as funny as this post is (and its incredibly funny!!) I can’t relate at all, I mostly just write what I want and get excited when (if) anyone “likes” or comments on it but don’t stress to much about, then again, the only things I really stress about are life and death situations, and family reunions (though it’s possible they’re the same thing)
you have to write what YOU want. and that whole family renunion/ life and death situation thing…i smell fodder for a new post. it made me chuckle. thanks for swinging by here and commenting. i’m truly grateful. – mother
Hilarious! My thoughts exactly but it’s so much worse when you just start out in the blogging world. It’s totally spirit crushing!
i hear you. i’m only two months in!! but, keep your spirits up…’cause look what can happen. you get what you want, even when you mock it mercilessly. hugs, mother
I can’t believe you’re only 2 months in! Thanks for the advice.
Great post. Sad and true. If you don’t mind I’m gonna follow you for a while. I like to laugh.
mind! i relish in it. thank you, grey cat. i don’t always like cats, but i’m going to make a willing exception in your case. 🙂 honestly, thank you for coming by here and following. i truly appreciate it. – madre
Ahh, get outta my head!!! You captured my 31 minutes so accurately :-). So good, I had to Press it.
thank you for doing so, tall man! momma loves you for it! – me
Look! You got freshly pressed! And deservedly, this is funny stuff! I have definitely had similar thoughts. 🙂
it’s amazing how much of a nerve this has hit. thanks for stopping by and commenting, selene. momma really appreciates it!
– me
Very true post! Interesting, entertaining and top quality as usual! Carry on the good work!
thank you, barry. that means a lot to me. – mother
I just thought you read my mind before writing this post. Excellent post. I hope this is what going through every blogger’s mind while posting something new.
This post deserves to be in this freshly pressed list. Congrats on being getting freshly pressed. 🙂
glad you liked it, arindam. yes, i think we all feel this way. thank you for the kind words. – mother
Your post is much funnier than mine, so I’m jealous, but I was equally cornswoggled by the new map offered by WordPress 🙂
http://wellthisiswhatithink.wordpress.com/2012/03/21/is-there-anybody-out-there-oh-yes-amazingly-apparently-there-is/
Warmest Congrats on being ‘freshly pressed’. I still await such a compliment from the WordPress folks. Can they be bribed? Does begging work?
bribery and begging doesn’t work. i tried it. but, stephen, you had me at “cornswoggled” so you must be doing something right. lol. and thank you for the congrats. it is much appreciated over here. big hug – sweet mother
You’re very welcome. I awoke this morning, having sad yes to email me when someone comments, to some 400 comments on your blog. Egads! You must be busy over there. Being Freshly pressed must be something of a curate’s egg lol. Anyhow, well done again, and I am following you now, as, I am a sure, are many others, so good luck with the writing.
Oh yes, dur, sorry: I shall definitely stick a link to this article at the ned of mine – good work, mate!
Ned is Australian for end, of course. See how I did that, right there?
*sighs gently*
LOL, that was what I think every time I make a post, my ionly hope is to make it on Freshly Press one day LOL, I love this
so glad you liked it, friend. thank you. – sweet mother
Thank God. I thought this all of this stuff was only inside my head 🙂 Only without the “People are saying nice things in the comments. Stats look good.” part. 😦
Great post though. I was afraid I’d become too needy blogwise … then I found you 😉
ann, just when you think you’re too needy, check in with me and you will be comforted. my stats checking is a DISEASE. lol. after answering these, i’m checking myself into rehab. is there a blogger’s rehab? anyway, thanks for the nice comment. momma loves you! – mother
So many of your thoughts are my thoughts exactly… ESPECIALLY the freshly pressed one… Always thinking “surely this can be an interesting enough recipe to get pressed…. surely, surely!” – but always in vain…..
stay strong, fati. i always see recipes ‘pressed’ on there. so, your time will come. chin up, keep fighting, and when you need a laugh, mother is here. – sweet m.
thank you for the reblog, friend. – sweet mother
I must say that was very clever!
By the way, cool writing. 🙂
I would love if you could have a look at my teeny-tiny blog too!
thank you, shruti. and i’ll do my best to look at your blog once i surgically remove my fingertips from this keyboard. all the best, mother
Nice post. At least people visited your blog! Struggling to get more than 1 hit a day. Congrats on featuring on the WordPress landing page.
thank you, spark! – mom
Oh sweetmother, reading this was better than my morning cup of coffee perk up!! Absolutely hilarious ~ scary thing is I’m new to blogging and get it already! There is no hope for me. Great post!
thank you, walking. your humble blogging servant, sweet mother
So.so.funny.
thank you, chelly.
Well, in answer to your question, your post definitely DOES NOT suck today 😀
-Steven
——-
“LOVE MEAT DOG PLEASE!” God, that had to be the most awkward way to order that dish…
thank you, steven. i appreciate that. 🙂 – sweet mother
Thanks for making me smile 🙂
my pleasure, sanjalee. thank you.
Lol… I’m just starting my blog and I have NO comments at all! Well, its only two days, but seriously!
you’ll get there. the tortoise wins the race at this blogging thing, i think. keep on keeping on, my friend. – moms
This really made me laugh, out loud I might add 🙂
I have all the above insecurities and then some…as english is my second language, but because I now live in the UK, I blog in english. And where I used to get about 300 hits a day on my old blog (writing in my own language) now I get 29 on a good day. Weyhey….pffffttt…hehehe.
man, i can NOT even imagine the blogging experience if english is not your first language. so i applaud you, sincerely. i can barely write in english sometimes and it is my native tongue!! lol. anyway, keep doing what you’re doing. it WILL pay off, in some way. all the best, mother
Brilliant mate..Just bloody Brilliant…
very glad you liked it! – mother
Reblogged this on cynicalboy.
thanks for the reblog, cynical! – moms
Just read your blog for the first time. I found it so hilarious and those kinds of thoughts happen not only by blogging but by other different experiences in life. It was great!
greetings from Austria 🙂
thank you, geovann, that was such a kind and thoughtful comment. i agree that i am constantly trying to keep these thoughts at bay in many areas!! anyway, glad you visited and hope to chat again soon. – mother
If there’s something that would suck this moment on the internet this post would not be it and yes your post did not suck today. :-bd
thank you, dash. i appreciate that. – madre
Story. Of. My. Life.
LOVE IT.
mine too, white house, mine too. glad you liked it. – moms
Very funny I can totally relate to some of these. 🙂
i think we all can, alex. i seem to have struck a nerve or better said an artery. thanks for stopping by here and commenting. – moms
Uwaaaa~ this is so nice. Had fun reading it–and rereading it again. ^___^
i’m very glad to hear that. thank you. full heart, moms
I can imagine myself asking the same questions….And hey you got Freshly Pressed! I’ll never be freshly pressed lol…..xD Funny post 🙂
never say never! i mean, look what happened. lol. glad you liked it. – moms
Yep, like most other people commenting, I go through similar thoughts every time I blog. However, the worst aspect of it for me is getting a page view, then realising from the stats page that it was someone looking for something completely random, and therefore my post was a momentary pothole on the road to illumination.
I may take stuff like this too personally.
oh, matthew, we all feel the same way. i often think, ‘thank god wordpress doesn’t track the views for every time I hit my own page’ because the numbers would be horribly skewed then. lol. anyway, we all take it too personally. so, at least know, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. lol. best wishes in blogging and in life, mother
Really cool blog, like it a lot.
Steven Wade Edinburgh
very cool, steven. i’m glad you liked it. and i used to live in edinburgh. so, you may here it referenced here a bit. cheers! – mother
brilliant.
you made me laugh this morning reading this.
muchas gracias from Barcelona.
el placer fue mia. or is it mio? hace muchos anos que no practicado mi espanol. okay, i’m going to stop now before i desecrate your beautiful language. i used to speak it, but i have let the well run dry a bit. so glad you enjoyed it, siesta or should i call you lauren? it’s wonderful to have you here. abrazos, – madre
Whew, my hand cramped up trying to get to the bottom to leave a comment..
I told my pal CoF this is one of those posts that made me say “Dammmit all, wish I had of written that”..then again only been here a few weeks and just found out about the Stats thingy..and I’m just not that funny..
great post, hilarious and think I’ll tag along for your comedic blogging ride.
Congrats on the Fresh Pressed….
thank you, new friend and any friend of cof’s is a friend of this blog. man, i didn’t even think about how long you’d have to scroll to leave a comment. that’s why i’m answering most of them back. i’m grateful people have taken the time to do so. anyhoot, thanks for joining this deranged club. i promise to give you my best, each and every day. – moms
Haha, I feel the exact way sometimes. Well, practically all the time! I don’t post everyday, more like once a week, and I got quite happy when I saw my most views happened to have been yesterday : p
But I always find it interesting how people come across my blog, and with the new stat’s section I’m even more intrigued as to where the person viewing is from. Guess every blogger tends to have these tendencies ^_^
It’s amusing how you commented that you’ll never be Freshly Pressed and it just so happens you have been.
Great read!
totally, sabine. i couldn’t believe they picked this particular post, but i’m glad they did. it seems to have hit a collective blogging nerve. anyway, very glad you stopped by here. all the best, mother
This is a hilarious post.You are hilarious @sweetmother.
Ps:I called my Mom and told her that I love her.
you’re kidding me? that’s awesome that you called your mom after reading my post. i don’t know what i’d do without mine. i certainly wouldn’t have as much material. 🙂 anyway, thank you for the kind words, sand, and for stopping by here. i’m really glad you did. hugs, sweet mother
Hahahaha. Thanks for putting my thoughts to paper… or ether or whatever. Great post.
thank you, bountiful. i’m trying. everyday, i try. 🙂 – mother
This is fantastic! Thank you!!!
my pleasure, joy. thank YOU. – mom
Nice job.
Looking at your numbers on your map, I get about 20 views a day on a good day.
The time you spend worrying is time you could have spent writing.
Of course, writing about worrying makes for a good post.
~Chris
all true, chris, all true. however, i write a lot in a day and that STILL does not silence the crazy. just a part of being human, it seems. anyway, thank you for stopping by. much obliged. – mother
The only thing more impressive than your post (and it IS impressive to have captured the schizoid thought process of possibly 90% of wordpress bloggers!) is the fact that you’ve replied to every comment! Well done!
PS: any article with a photo of Jared Leto has great photography
PS,PS: I am not a crazy stalker type person. Please follow me? 🙂
of course, i’ll follow you. just did it, in fact. you know, when perusing freshly pressed way back when i thought to myself, ‘if i ever get that, i’ll answer every comment’. however, now i think i’m an a-hole. lol. you always think it’s going to be easier than it is. and WHO doesn’t love jared leto?! lol. anyway, thank you for stopping by here. – mother
Oh my god, this was hilarious. I bet today you’re ok with the number of views and comments and likes 😀
yes, finally! my paranoia has been soothed. at least momentarily…lol. thanks for swinging by, story. – mom
Oh, my…I actually love you!
I’ve been having a rough day (www.imagineteenagelife.wordpress.com) and on the homepage I found your blog, this made me smile, thank-you.
-Clearly this was fate.
i’m so sorry to hear that, jess. stay strong, little one. life can be tough, but it gets better. who the feck am i right now, dan savage? jesus. anyway, thank you for the kind words. i hope you will come back here and read some more. hugs and hope,
– sweet mother
Hahaha, this is hilarious, and so true! I had someone that had ended on my blog after searching for the word ‘unitard’… so I thought I would give the people what they want and write a unitard related post, haha, the first of many more to come I can assure you.
now, who doesn’t love a good unitard? i love any and all unitard related posts. seriously, thank you for the kind words and for swinging by here, katy. momma is very thankful.
Reblogged this on Speedofminds's Blog and commented:
Haha! Hillarious post! I has to reblog!
Reblogged this on Speedofminds's Blog and commented:
Haha! Hillarious post! I had to reblog!
This is hillarious! People also come to my blog and read just post about His So Called Life too! Haha!
glad you enjoyed it and thank you for the reblog, marina. – mother
do you ever get those moment when you utterly love someone’s blog post but they already have a million comments and you got none, so in this petty jealous sort of way, you withhold from commenting altogether?
i almost did that with your post but I think I’ve acquired a six-pack from laughing so hard, my abs are the best they’ve ever been (not saying much).
sweet Jesus, Sweet Mother, this post embodies the mania that is the blogosphere perfectly. I also commend you on replying to all of your comments. Like really? Do you leave the house, ever?
congrats. now that you’re Freshly Pressed, what are you gonna do? inquiring minds…
yes, i have had that jealous rage when looking at fp. and no, i never leave the house. lol. and when i do i take my phone with me so i can comment BECAUSE I HAVE A DISEASE. A RAGING, BLOGGING, RASH-LIKE, DISEASE. anyway, i’m glad you let your abs lead the way and commented thusly overriding your mania. it made me happy. it made my day. stay strong, dear whitney, we’re all in this together. hugs, fists up, power to the people – mother
What an incredibly funny post!! Great thoughts.
thank you, raging. i appreciate that. – mother
Hilarious!!!!
And BTW, I am reading from Europe (from a little hole called Belgium..easily mistaken for Holland :).. though am Italian 🙂 so you see?huge European audience reached then 🙂
My blog is reallyyyyyyyy small and , even so, I think abt closing and killing it a hundred times for day….LOL
Ophelia
ophelia, i’m glad you enjoyed it. don’t stop blogging. momma loves you and the world needs more blogging italians, blogging from belgium. much love, mother
I declare this post “non-suck”. I’m sure you were waiting with bated breath since only 3 million people have liked and commented before me, but since I’m am your newest Internet friend, my praise is the most important. At least it is in my mind. After I post a comment, I will go through a series of phrases:
The does-she-know-I’m-joking-about-everything-but-the-non-suck-part phase
The what’s-on-TV phase
The has-she-responded-to-this-comment-yet-because-there’s-nothing-worth-watching-on-TV phase
The what-are-you-crazy-she’s-freshly-pressed-and-has-7000-followers-and-600-comments-to-read-and-she-was-just-kidding-when-she-said-she-wanted-to-be-friends-and-now-she-think-you’re-a-giant-weirdo phase
The total-despair phase
The ingestion-of-gummi-bears phase
finally, where have you been all my life! let me singlehandedly erase all your phases, as none of them are necessary. and i laugh every single blasted time i read your blog and your ‘turds of the week’. i find you immensely talented. and i don’t use those words lightly, though i have probably misspelled them. you see, i am very tired. and as soon as i uncurl my fingers from this feckin’ keyboard, i’m going to re-visit your blog and we can start our friendship anew. is that you write a new, is there a space? oh christ…
anyway, it was a PLEASURE to see you here. hugs and kisses – mother
Hilarious and so true! I think you definitely showed my train of thought! Cool idea to do as well.
thank you, t. i’m glad you enjoyed it! all the best, mother
I like you post..
Give some inspiration for me
😀
just like me have the situation like this.
Maybe all of the blogger fell this. 🙂
yes, i think we all have, ade. thanks for coming by and for your kind words. – mother
Reblogged this on viptabee and commented:
Yes! Everytime,haha.
thanks for the reblog, leslie. it is much appreciated! – mother
You read my mind…I start with “Min 1” and jump straight to “Min 14”, then end up in “Min 26”.
Anyway, great blog and congrats for being freshly pressed. You got a new follower. =D
yay! i love new followers. it’s my favorite thing… and thank you on the congrats. it is much appreciated. all the best, moms
This blog sums my blogosphere up completely!! Booyah!!
Congratulations on a brilliant post!
thank you. and i’m glad you liked it, rn. – moms
Reblogged this on brixton´s Hall | FUN & DISCUSSION und kommentierte:
Blogging schizophrenia… 😉
thank you for the reblog, kleene! – mother
HA! HA! HA! HA! I laugh because I can relate. I’ve never timed my minutes, but I’m at least 30. My most popular search term is “Darth Vader vs Yoda” which cracks me up b/c that post is nothing about Star Wars. Poor people, so disappointed when the get to my blog. I guarantee it.
hello there, lilee, so glad you liked it. there’s plenty of room for you on the crazy-after-hitting-publish boat over here. so, join us. lol. sincerely, glad you liked it and hope to chat with you again. – mother
What a brilliant post. Your ideas and concept made simple things brilliant and enjoyable ! Thanks for the post (Don’t worry, It didn’t suck today).
thank you, euro. i appreciate that! – mother
You wrote what the rest of us wanted to but didn’t…and in such a hilarious way!!
I actually was going to write “Bad Blogging Day” the other day, but decided it might turn people off…I could never have written it the way you did…LOL!!!!
AND…it is totally funny and ironic that you made Freshly Pressed!
i know i couldn’t believe they gave it to me off that post. i was truly surprised. thank you for stopping by here and saying so, sued. these comments have truly made my day. – moms
Reblogged this on living the american dream in europe and commented:
I often feel like this since I started blogging. This is a funny thing. When I started blogging, it was to have release and to find purpose, or rather to direct my purpose in a more focused way. For the past six months I have writing my blog and am constantly amazed and interested in what people respond to, frequently feeling similarly to ‘Sweetmother’ here! The more I write and the more I read both online and in books, the more I realize falls under the point of my blog. The more I read online, the more I want to write. The more I dive deeper into my adopted culture, the more I want to write. I love this new (to me) world, I love to see how it is evolving and how I evolve because of it too.
this is a lovely commentary, living. maybe fodder for your next post? i know i’d read it since i enjoyed reading this. you have a lovely POV when it comes to blogging. keeping the right head about it or laughing at yourself when you don’t, is half the battle, i think. and THANK YOU for the reblog. momma hopes to see you again here. hugs, mother
Hey, thanks a lot!! Yeah, I feel that because I have discovered blogging my life is definitely headed in a different direction than when I first arrived here in Europe a few years ago. I think more grand reflection is necessary, and more focus. Thanks again for putting your post out there!!
Reblogged this on pissingblood47days Blog and commented:
I totally just did this! Except when porn popped to the forefront of my internal ranting I actually went and found some…
thank you for the reblog, piss. and i hope everything clears up down south. that sounds uncomfortable! hugs, mother
So glad I’m not the only one who wonders all these very same things!
nope, we are all here with you, shaking and refreshing our stats. stay strong, mother
Westboro Baptist…now that’s funny.
and THANK YOU for getting it. i’m not sure everyone did. much love, mother
Reblogged this on musingsoftheamusingmuse and commented:
Very funny! I’m insecure enough about my writing ability that I wonder all these things, too!
oh, musings, we all are. we all are. thank you for reblogging this. i truly appreciate it. – mother
This was a great way to start my morning. Thanks WordPress for the Freshly Pressed with this one. I am almost spit out my drink with this “I’m telepathically sending you another post right now. Why aren’t you “liking” it!” lol! I totally feel your pain. I’m in the 1 to 2 likes count category. Luckily, wordpress has put the new countries feature which has been pacifying my “does-anyone-ever-read-this-blog” thoughts. Now I am going to read the arrogant post because yeah… I might relate to this one too a little bit. lol
oh, jolyn, since you’ve now read the arrogant post, you’ll know that my stomach is smarting from my freshly pressed tattoo i had done this morning. lawd, lawd. what a crazy world this blogging thing is. i’m so glad you enjoyed this and i truly do hope you come back for more. much love, mother
I surely will and I want to see instagram pictures of your stomach tattoo!
I hope you have LOTS of liquor in your cabinet if you ever have one of those days I’ve experienced when your kid gets drunk and passes out on the courthouse lawn b/c he’s been arrested (true story, haven’t blogged about THAT one yet), your dog gets sick and throws up ALL OVER your Grandmother’s favorite afghan, and when looking for an outlet to vent all your woes, you login in to your blog, and you can’t breathe…you’re suffocating, and you can’t do anything to STOP IT…oh GOD where’s a dirty razor blade when you need one because you beloved online journal got 0 VIEWS, and that awful number is staring at you from cyberspace, and you just know there’s a hoard of bloggers laughing in the darkness somewhere within the blogosphere because maybe, just maybe…my last post really did SUCK….sigh…or maybe, you got zero views b/c you forgot to click PUBLISH after finishing your last post two weeks ago, and people stopped visiting your online prose corner b/c you have NOTHING to say? 🙂
OTHERWISE, loved your post! But I wouldn’t know ANYTHING about all that self-doubt… 🙂
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND and thanks for sharing!
TenaciousB/KS
oh, tenacious b, what a kindred soul you are AND WHY AREN’T YOUR WRITING ABOUT THAT COURTHOUSE INCIDENT AND THE DOG ONE??!! do it now. it’s hilarious. and who knows, you may hit the jackpot, and it may even be more than that. and don’t worry about the 0 views. you can do what i have always done – when the views are low – go run some errands and stop in cyber cafes along the way, check your blogs from there. when you get home, i guarantee, your views will have grown. 😉 anyway, thank you for stopping by here and for the wonderfully enjoyable comment. we all doubt, oh, yes, WE DO. hugs, mother
I think some of these things too! I am new to blogging and started an amateur food blog. Your post is hilarious. I worry whether people like my food, if the photographs are good enough, and if I’m eating to much unhealthy food in the name of my blog.
omg, leslie. that is A LOT to worry about, but take comfort in the fact that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. lol. i promise as soon as i can uncurl my fingers from this keyboard and the answering of comments, i will check out your blog. stay strong, sistah.
– mother
That was really entertaining post… Well its the realty…
thank you, ravi. i’m afraid it is, indeed. – mother
so finally it is freshly pressed putting all anxieties to rest!
ups and downs of a blogger well captured here!
keep the fun going!
i know, can you believe it. they have silenced me! well, at least for the next hour until i publish another post and then I’ll get anxious all over again. 😉 thanks for stopping by here, personal. i hope you will again. much love, mother
so sweet!
🙂
Hmm. Based on the “likes” you got, your post definitely doesn’t suck. 😀 Thanks for the witty post!
Jen from http://www.go-scuba-dive.com
my pleasure, beetle. thanks for stopping by. – mother
Ok, I’m pretty new to this blogging game, but clearly you are a blogging beast with all your followers and comments! Sure this comment will only get lost in the masses of others, but a couple of things…
a) how do you manage to get so many people following your blog and
b) what’s this freshly pressed nonsense all about? How do blogs get put up there? Who decides? What’s the criteria?
sqwares, beast, indeed. but, i prefer the term ‘mother’. it has a lovelier ring to it. and no, your comment did not get lost in the comments. i see you. like the blue lady said to the blue man in ‘avatar’ – “i see you”. to answer your questions…a) i did NOT have many ppl following me as of yesterday morning. maybe about 100 or so. that has gone up thanks to freshly pressed. if you’re seeing a number in the thousands there, that’s because fb is adding in my fb ‘friends’. i have a lot of those because i’m a comedian who has been doing stand up for a long time before i got into this blogging thing. but, regardless, know, that when i started this thing – ONLY TWO MOS AGO – i still had hardly any followers. b) for freshly pressed go to wordpress.com and hit the freshly pressed tab and you’ll see the blogs that were freshly pressed. i don’t know, totally, how blogs get up there. i believe the editors of wp decide. they emailed me to tell me. so, they are the invisible, little, wonderful, fairies that select it. if you google around, you’ll find more on the criteria. all the best, mother
Furry muff.
Cheers ears 🙂
you had me at ‘furry muff’. 🙂
I didn’t read all the comments because there are too many. So if this has been said before in another comment, please accept my insincere appologies. Your post did NOT suck today. I am thinking seriously about following you, except the more blogs I follow the more I feel compelled to read them and then I don’t get my own posts written. However, I like the sound of yours.
lynn, i love insincere apologies. they are my favorite kind. 😉 thank you. and thank you for even putting me on your ‘maybe’ fence for a follow. i hear you – blog following and blog reading can get OVERWHELMING. so overwhelming. but, i’m glad you like the sound of this thingy, i’ve created here and if you do decide to follow, i’ll do my best not to disappoint you… hugs, mother
I’ve only been blogging for about a month. A few other bloggers have started reading and commenting and following, etc.
So I figured maybe I should start reading more blogs and commenting. This is my first time, so be easy on me.
I had to comment after reading this line, which is brilliant: Min 8: “God, I would love it if the Westboro Baptist Church protested this blog.”
Also kind of liked your “newspapers are dead” line, but that’s just the bad side of my personality rearing its ugly head.
Looking forward to reading more.
oh, chris, stay strong. i am only two month into this blogging thing myself. i had a small amount of followers only a mere 60 days ago. in fact, i only had 100 or so followers yesterday morning…and now i am experiencing what could only be called a blog explosion. so, i’d say in blogging, ‘slow and steady wins the race’. and i’m still waiting (and hoping) for westboro to protest this blog. in fact, i TRY to write content to encourage them to do so. they’re such a-holes. lol. anyhoot, ENGAGE, with other bloggers. that would be my best advice for you. it works. it was the only thing that kept me going in the beginning. hugs – mother
Thank you for the encouragement. I’ve always been sort of a plugger. I’ll just keep plugging away and maybe I’ll get freshly pressed someday, too. It strikes me as a be-careful-what-you-wish-for proposition.
very true, chris, very true.
Haha, this is hilarious. Particularly love mins 15, 16 and 17! I’m glad I stumbled upon this little gold mine of a blog.
thank you, sam. and thank you for saying its a ‘little gold mine’. that made me smile. all the best, mother
Ha, its perfect. I love the slow digression into insanity. I’m starting to believe those thoughts go through every blogger’s mind.
completely and you nailed it perfectly, ‘slow digression into insanity’ and it happens daily. DAILY. it will happen as i hit ‘publish’ even again today. ay yay yay. but, welcome, mb, and thanks for reading. – mother
ROFLMAO, I realize this was sarcastic, and given that 500+ people beat me to commenting, chances are someone else has already said this, but please for the love of everything, do not write in a journal and post a photograph.
Also, this one was my favorite: “After he did a background check on me and realized that I was not imminent threat to him or his family, he finally decided to follow. Phew”
My coauthor and I are like this too, but split between our blog and sales. We had an amazing first day (our first novel launched March 1) and then sales tinkered off. There was alot of “oh my gosh, why aren’t people buying it? Did we not push it hard enough? We don’t want their opinion, of coarse we want their opinion, we should have posed more about Meyers Briggs, that’s a huge SEO winner for us. Maybe people are waiting for the paperback.”
We feel your pain. Loved the post. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed
-Eliabeth Hawthorne
elizabeth, welcome to the “mutually felt blogging angst society”. there are a lot of members here now, but from your commentatry, you would be a cherished one. it’s a battle, isn’t it. but, one i plan to fight nobly for everyday, even as my head tells me 80,000 reasons why i should not. i mean, if reality programming exists then there’s got to be room for some of us who REALLY have something to say. anyway, thank you for the wonderful and insightful comment. i hope you have a great day. – mother
My coauthor actually had to convince me to blog, or rather gave me no choice. She set it up and told me I needed to pull half the weight. She’s good at the mean love lol. I didn’t think anyone would care what I had to say, especially before our book was even out of the editing room (and so much is still in there). What we discovered is that bloggers are very kind and willing to read just about anything so long as it is well written and engaging. I think your post today displays that. 😀
Have a wonderful day!
Good post, first thing I read on your blog, some good thoughts there, and made me laugh, too. Will read up on some of your older posts now. You seem to have quite a few followers judging from the number of comments on this page.
hello there gb, all from freshly pressed, i can assure you. i barely had any the morning this came out. anyway, very happy that you enjoyed it and i hope you come back for more. have a wonderful day. – mother
Hilarious! And congrats on being freshly pressed!
thank you, sally. i really appreciate that. hope to see you again here. much love, mother
This is one of the best and most honest post I have ever written. I’m jealous. And now you’re Freshly Pressed…CONGRATS!
you mean, I have ever written. or did you mean, ‘i have ever read’. anyway, naeem’s i don’t care. i only care that you liked it. 🙂 thank you. and thank you for coming by here and i hope you come back. all the best, mother
LooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooL
thank you, may. i’m glad you liked it. xo – mother
Haha! I like it! Now i’ll like it! 🙂 help me also, i’m still new here!
oh, drew, we’re all here for you. stay strong! new blogging is hard. for everyone!!! glad you enjoyed it. – mother
yes I know it’s damn hard. I’ll be patient though. I like your style sweetmother, you’re very good and funny. I’ll follow you. 🙂 Good Luck and always have fun!
I thought it was the greatest thing ever that my blog was Freshly Pressed today… then I saw that you had 798 people like your post. Only 119 liked mine. So now I’m asking, did my post suck today? Maybe I should have stuck to jokes and stayed away from photography 🙂
noooooooooooooooo, steph, noooooooooooooooooo. you can not less this ruin your freshly pressed moment. it is only because i hit some kind of blogging nerve that this is so popular. truly. enjoy your moment in the sun. you’ve earned it. and i’m going to head over to your fp post now to like it and comment. don’t start comparing other fp’s, you’ll lose your mind!!! stay strong and enjoy! and most importantly, CONGRATS. xo, sweet mother
Ha, no worries! I’m still stoked about being Freshly Pressed, I was just putting my photos up for my family and the few who might stumble upon them, so it’s still an awesome surprise. 🙂
Reblogged this on hellotodrew and commented:
It’s funny! 🙂
From a first-time visitor’s POV, you’re doing okay. In fact, you’re doing more than okay. I thoroughly understand the paranoid schizophrenia. I think many of us go through it each day. I’ll tell you that it’s much worse when not posting every day.
Enjoyed my tour around inside your head. So much familiar territory in there.
so glad you enjoyed it, claudsy. it’s an honor to have you here. sincerely, sweet mother
you’re more than welcome.
It really is an obsession. I rue the day I got the Iphone app as I can check it all day. I even wake up in the night and have a look.
I love the fact that you can look at who reads it around the world. Its kind of nice to see my blog usually get 4 hits from Austrailia (as I know who those people are) and that someone in China likes what I do.
I only go through this once a week. Every day? I think I might go a little mad!
oh, andrew, i so hear you. i love it when ireland is shaded that beautiful orange because i know my friends there have read it. what a crazy thing this blogging is. and yes, i second the ‘rue the day i got the iphone app’ comment. in all sincerity my wifesy almost threw my mobile phone in the toilet the other day, so annoyed was she with my checking it. i do promise to go outside sometimes though. it is after all, only a blog. lol. seriously, thank you for stopping by here. – mother
I realize you didn’t need another comment, and I highly reconsidered halfway through giving my fingers an exercise scrolling down the screen …. but this was a great post! Very well done, and many of your thoughts mirror my own. I do hope you got the same laugh and embarrassment I did while reading it, because one of the best laughs are the ones where you can laugh at yourself.
Congrats on the Freshly Pressed! Well deserved!
oh, lana, i am ALWAYS laughing at myself. it is how i survive. 🙂 anyway, thank you for taking the time to comment when the sheer number of comments almost convinced you not to. rest assured that half of them are mine! lol. anyway, thanks for stopping by here and for the kind words. every writer should get a boost like this. hugs, mother
This is so hilarious, yet true! I believe everything that you wrote in this post represents the majority (if not all) of bloggers out there. I’m glad the team at WordPress made this post a Freshly Pressed! Nice writing!
bama, thank you for saying so. and yes, i’m very happy that the wordpress gods smiled upon me. thank you for stopping by here and for the kind words. hugs, mother
Should have capatalis(z)ed Christ, let alone Mu(o)m
oh, your u’s and s’s so give away your allegiance to the queen! thank you for that grammar check. you are the only one among hundreds!!! but, note taken. you didn’t pick up on the morose code, as opposed to morse though – but, perhaps it was spelled that way because morose code is OH so much sadder. cheers! – mother
This was funny and original indeed! No duplicate content here. Have a good one.
thank you, james! your comments mean a lot to me. all the best and have a wonderful day. – mother
You too
haha this made me laugh
i’m glad to hear that!
No, this post certainly did not suck! Actually, I laughed out loud a couple of times. Thanks for the spilled coffee on my desk here; my nose doesn’t burn at all. lol
legos, aaaaahhh, coffee through the nose! the only thing worse would be red wine. but, then you’d be drinking red wine at your desk in the morning and that would indicate and even bigger problem! thanks for coming by here and saying that you liked it. i truly appreciate that. – mother
I’ve had similar thoughts as well
oh, shaun, haven’t we all. welcome to the club. hugs and stay strong. 🙂 mother
Now you have someone reading in Panamá… You know where Panamá is, right? Just kiding. Amazing post! Sensational… Pretty sure you’re having a super busy day. Enjoy it. I’ll keep coming back
i use to live in colombia. i feign international ignorance, but i’ve actually lived on three different continents so far. i still feck things up geographically though. for example, i’m not sure i ever knew about the accent on panama. so, i have been thusly, schooled. is that even a phrase, “thusly schooled”? anyway, ha sido un placer. and i promise once i uncurl my fingers from this keyboard to check out your blog too. many thanks, mother
You are great for answering every single comment! I’m new in Panama, have never been to Colombia and don’t know what “thusly schooled” means – english its not my first language. Still…happy to talk to you
I mean this was brilliantly fantastical. Thank you for making me laugh and taking the thoughts straight out my mind. Stay out of my mind, please and thank you.
thank you, wonderful human. i’m glad you enjoyed it. i will try to stay out of your mind, but it is so hard when you always leave the door open. lol. hope to see you again here. hugs, mother
No, your post did not suck today! Great job and congratulations on being Freshly Pressed. Thanks for making me laugh!
thank you, lisa! i am humbled by your kind words. have a wonderful day.
haha that’s funny. only people i know read my blog, you’re lucky you have readers from germany and austria 😉
yes, i particulary feel honored to have the germans and the austrians, as they both make very good beer. stay strong, sweet blogger, i had NO ONE in the beginning, just a few friends too. all the best, mother
aaaaw. thanks mother 😀 that just makes me wanna post something. hahaha
I saw Carrierubin on the long scroll down. When I saw your name in fressly Pressed lights I thought does Carrie know your freshly pressed? Of course she does. A friend of a friend fantastic post I read it out loud which some how made it even better hearing this post in my own voice ;+). Congratulations! Now I will scroll up and hit the like button and the follow button…..Brilliant.
starla, that is a true compliment indeed. i love carrie. so any friend of hers is a friend of this blog. she was there for mother in the beginning when there was NO ONE. lol. seriously, i’m humbled. thank you and as soon as i can uncurl my fingers i will check out your blog. xo, mother
And look at how fantastic you are to comment back making my little orange light number blink. Amazing Hats off to you! You will need a few days to recoup from being freshly Pressed. I’m sure when the party’s over…..awwww… sorry it will it’s so sad but fame is fleeting …..You can curl up at Carries for icecream. :+) Don’t worry about coming by I know your swamped! I feel bad saying the fame is fleeting part. I hope you will forgive me.
Shoot I’m Sorry I sometimes edit my comments after I hit the send button. I was just saying about fame being fleeting, because I know how closley you said you watch your stats and I’ve heard that the stat crash after being freshly pressed can be difficult. But after I thought about it I realized that half way down reading your post I was chomping at the bit to like and follow you. I would imagine with this post many others probably like myself with be stumbling all over themselves to follow and like you. I bet you will be very busy for a long time. Now I will edit this comment before I hit the send button.;+) Hopefully you will forgive my downer of a comment above my head. Sincerely, Starla
don’t even worry for one second about it, starla. this is a safe space, especially for someone as introspective as yourself. i have heard about the inevitable fp crash. but, thankfully, i am somewhat grounded – lol. or at the very least – maybe the crash will inspire a new psychotic post. so, perhaps, all is well. 🙂 i hope to see you again here. you seem like a lovely human. have a wonderful day. – mother
Thank You That was very sweet. Enjoy the busy day! :+)
This is so hilarious and true. Love these two:
Min 15: “I don’t care what other people think.”
Min 16: “I care very much what other people think.”
Inspiring, true and helps those of us who feel exactly the same….is there anyone out there and do they really like what I have to say? Great post!!
thank you, brigitte. i am duly humbled and curtseying (virtually, of course) as i type. hope you come back and we can chat again here some more. stay strong. this blogging thing can be nuts. all the best, mother
Thanks, Mother and now I’m going to walk my dogs, without my phone that tells me “ding” someone liked or left a comment on my blog. It’s addictive, fun and a bit strange — but in a good way. :).
Reblogged this on Chillers Blog.
thank you for the reblog, new friend.
You’re welcome.
Can I Use this on my new blog as well?
sure, you can reblog it. simply hit that button or repost it, as long as you give me credit and a link back. all the best, mother
I truly liked it! Congrats on Freshly Pressed! (wait, should Freshly Pressed be capitalized?)
oh dear god, probably and i have not done so, many times. another reason people aren’t reading, hold up, yes, they are. now, how did that happen? lol. honestly, thanks for stopping by here and thank you. – mother
Hahaha! What a laugh, really enjoyed this post! Really do go through quite a few of these moments! Will like & follow your blog 🙂
thank you for that! a follow is by far the highest compliment! hugs, from sweet mother, “just another neurotic blogger”
This is hilarious! I total relate. I will sit on the stats page and hit refresh all day. Even at work… It’s so easy to get neurotic about it.
so so easy to get neurotic, even when you have the ‘best intentions’ second mom. i couldn’t resist that one. lol. hugs, mother
Congrats on getting Freshlypressed and very deserving too. Thanks for verbalising all our neuroses as bloggers.
it was my pleasure, squirrel. and thank you for saying so. – mother
mahahahahah. So true. I am a stats-stalker as well.
oh, second momma, aren’t we all? aren’t we all! lol. glad you liked it. – mother
Laughing because I’m posting from Germany…. and because your post was funny.
so glad to hear that you liked it, sarah! and so glad to welcome another splendid human being from germany! all the best, mother
I loved this! Absolutley hilarious and what I go through every time I post a blog! Definitely gonna reblog this!
i am thrilled that you like it, new friend. and thank you for the reblog. it is deeply appreciated. – mother
Want to blog about your Mom, go ahead… here is some inspiration as Mother’s Day approaches: http://nodonk4u.wordpress.com/2012/03/21/mothers-day-2/
Gary Coiro – nonprofit leader, former pastor
oh, i do, pastor, i do – all the time. she is a constant source of ‘inspiration’ for both this blog and my act. 🙂 see mom’s macrame for one example. but, i promise to skip on over to your blog and check out your post, as soon as i can uncurl my gnarled fingers from answering all these comments. sincerely, thank you for stopping by here. – mother
This is the most funny blog i’ve ever read! Compliments! (Sorry for my english, i’m italian 🙂 )
hello francesca, never apologize for knowing more than one language! at least not to me. i admire anyone who is a polyglot (an uncommon English word, it means a speaker of more than one language). it’s very nice to have a reader from italy. so thank YOU. ciao! – mother
Sweet Mother! 571 comments — I don’t think you have anything to worry about! Congrats on being FP’d.
thank you, kirs. i appreciate that. – mother
Oh my gosh, soo funny!! I’m still somewhat new to blogging, and not nearly as popular as you, but I could still relate. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
thank you, being. and seriously, i wasn’t popular until yesterday morning! so keep on keeping on. 🙂 mother
Thanks for the encouraging words! 😀 Can’t wait to read more great posts from you!
Reblogged this on ram0ram note book.
thank you for the reblog, ram-o-ram
I hate waiting for that little orange box to do something…I’m gonna go make some more coffee. Are we related? (really fun post, enjoyed it)
my pleasure. thank you for the thanks!
LOL, judging by the 500 some odd comments, I don’t think you need to worry, would love to have those kinda numbers! Thanks for posting this!
Wow, this is awesome. Definitely brightened my day up ^_^
so glad to hear that, ten. thanks for stopping by. – mother
Wow, it’s hard to make someone laugh only through text. You’ve succeeded my friend.
….
1min: (wait I shouldn’t of said my friend because; he’s not my friend…)
2min: (My joke wasn’t funny… )
Katie
http://katieraspberry.wordpress.com/
oh, katie, i am SO you’re friend. but, i am also a lady. (see today’s post for more…) and you are safe to say whatever you like here. so, be neurotic no more! or at least not until you publish your next post. te, he. – mother
Opps typo 😦
Oh dear heavens I was already doubting I was the only neurotic blogger out there. I’ve only started very recently but I can already really feel what you’re talking about and the though that it builds up to epic proportions makes me panic. So I’m going to log off now and breath. Into a paper bag. Regular paced. Until it goes away again.
breathe, new friend, breathe. the slow little tortoise wins the blogging race, i believe. so, hang in there. hugs, mother
Icecream is going to help, I think ;p Thanks 🙂
Loool!! That happens to me a lot! It never wears off!
and I guess minute number 7 isn’t necessary any more!
no, it never wears off. even today when i hit the publish button on my ‘the day after’ post. lol. and nope, we can wipe number 7 off the list. or change it to, ‘when will i be fp’d again!!!!’ waaaaah, it never ends. 🙂 thanks for coming by here. – mother
OK SERIOUSLY you’ve got a great sense of humor. You honestly made me laugh out loud. As I’ve taken a 10 minutes break from work, folks have walked by saying…ummm are you okay, I just smile and say…yeah…now! Thanks for the laughs.
Oh, and by the way, If you didn’t think that you blog didn’t register any real value, then consider the value of a smile, chuckle and belly shaking laughter is and then you’ll know.
Keep blogging, keep bringing smiles!
donna, thank you for that sweet and utterly humbling compliment. it’s nice to know there are other decent souls like yourself in the world. truly, thank you for stopping by here and imparting your kind words. it is deeply appreciated. – mother
OK, how many people are telling you they feel the EXACT SAME WAY, cause I’ll be number one billion and one. This is great, and funny! Yay for being freshly pressed! A goal of mine!
i’m sure you will be, stephanie. and i’ll be following your blog to watch the chaos when it happens. 🙂 – mother
lol. i guess your post didn’t stuck today. 😉
te, he. *giggle* i guess not. 🙂 thanks for coming by…
Reading this made my day! Hilarious!!
thank you, furry. i’m glad to hear that. – me
Super funny! This is exactly what bloggers think. You know why this is hilarious? Because this post is really true. Great one 🙂
thank you, elisabeth. i really appreciate that. – moms
Haha! I OBSESSIVELY check my blog, especially after I post! I feel like my kid will grow up hating my computer because it probably gets more of my attention during the day than she does…oh wait, that’s not funny.
oh, but it is, it is!! what has happened to us all. lol. thank you for stopping by here, new friend. and rejoice in the fact that you are not alone in the crazy. oh, you are NOT alone. lol. – sweet mother
Reblogged this on Sued51's Blog and commented:
So here’s the blog I wish I wrote!!!!!
Superbly hilarious!!
thanks for the reblog, sued! momma appreciates it!
– me
At least people read your blog! Nobody reads mine unfortunately. Your amount of hits is much better than my busiest day, which topped out at 6 views!
keep the faith, blogging-soldier, keep the faith. i didn’t have many views at one time either. hugs, mother
love it,… read this one when i was in office … Made me laugh even on a boring friday afternoon ..thankyou 🙂
my pleasure. and thank YOU. – mother
My sentiments exactly … my blog is still a baby (six days old) and I have already fallen in love with the little orange/yellow button on the top of the screen … an stats, i am still amazed that anyone is ready, but it does make me feel good … in a week or two I’ll be duplication your blog for sure (addiction is calling)
beware, it’s a disease. and fyi, that little orange button makes out at 9. lol. anyway, blog on with your bad self. welcome to the addiction society. know, that you are not alone! 🙂 and thanks for swinging by. – mother
A bit like “Live long and Prosper” swings along in what you say … thanks for the advice and will try to keep a toe dipped in reality
lol. so true. i am tired and slowly losing my mind even more so than when i wrote that post! carry on, while i’m carried out! – me
Beaming you up scottie!
You’ve written my mind.
Get out!
i couldn’t help it! lol. thanks for reading. seriously. – moms
Congrats on the Freshly Pressed. This is well deserved! Very funny.
thank you, lina. i appreciate that. – mother
Hilarious! Thanks for the laughs.
my pleasure, courtney. thank you for reading. – sweet mother
How ironic that a post about the paranoia of posting got you an FP! Yeah!
So funny. So true.
glad you enjoyed it, casey. – mother
This is so witty. And sadly true. I think we all do this. Thanks for being courageous enough to post about it =).
NomadGrad.com
my pleasure and i’m glad you enjoyed it. thank you, hilary. – moms
No, it most definitely did not suck today!
thank you, writer-fighter, i appreciate that. – mom
wow. another FP blog about blogging. original.
thanks for being a d*ck. you’re the only one out of 882 comments. so THAT is way original. you should be proud.
it’s not aimed at you. it’s aimed at the FP idea. same stuff each day.
hmm, i see your point there. – me
I actually think these could be listed in the medical books as symptoms of bloggosis. It is apparently a very contagious illness. I’m afraid I may have caught it.
It is possible it may be the next pandemic.
i know i have bloggosis. i just know it. lol. thank you, sandra. that word RULES. xo – mother
ok, so I am not the only that does this? Good to know! lol
no. no, you definitely are not. 🙂 – SM
This so thoroughly described me that I nearly fell off the couch laughing! Well done, and a Freshly Pressed well earned indeed!
any injury (without bleeding, of course) as induced by reading my blog is most welcome indeed! seriously, thank for reading and saying so, irish. i hope you come back for more. – sweet mother
Reblogged this on dailymomprayers and commented:
I am reblogging this because I suspect many WPers will react as I did — with gales of helpless laughter at myself.
thanks for the reblog, irish! momma appreciates it. – me
I’m a German who’s currently in California…So yeah, I feel you time-zone issues 😉
oh those time zones, living to taunt me. i feel your pain, sweet man. i feel your pain. anyway, nice to have you here. all the best, sweet mother
made me giggle ..GOL 😛
thank you, rayann!
I totally feel you on this. It’s ridiculous the things that go through my head every time I hit the refresh button on my stats page. For me its the narcissism that goes on in my own brain that embarrasses me the most.
Great post!
oh, narcissyus – or whoever that a**hole of a greek god was. he is a ridiculous one, isn’t he? always pulling at my hair like a second grader, like he likes me, when all he really likes is HIMSELF. never fear, dear christen, we all feel the same way. thank you for stopping by here and adding a nice note to the windchimes. hope to see you here again. – sweet mother
Reblogged this on lifeyum and commented:
This piece is fantastic and right on point. I write because I love to, but find myself checking the stats a little too often and wondering, as I did today, if I’m titillating enough. But isn’t that just the age-old self doubt kicking in, doing no favors? Detachment from the results or what people might think or say… Write for joy. Paint for yourself. Dance with abandon. Because you can. Easier said than done sometimes, but when we do what we love and it comes from our heart, it usually resonates.
thanks for the reblog, lisa! – SM
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! This is a great post, a great laugh for sure and my sentiments exactly!!!!!!!
I hope my posts don’t suck. I wish more people liked my posts. Liked my blog. Subscribed to my blog. I beg. I plead. I’m so pathetic!
Hugs,
Nicole @ Three 31
oh, nicole, we all are! you are alone! i feel like i’ve been screaming that across a cavern for days. lol. anyway, seriously, thank you for stopping by here and adding to this interesting conversation. i hope you come back for more. all the besties, mother
Fab-u-lous. I’m in, Sweet Mother.
Just wrote a post today about the importance of a catchy headline because no one seemed interested in yesterday’s entitled, My favorite, the Willow tree. Hard to imagine, huh? 🙂
Then I felt stupid for writing a post about catchy headlines because that means I’m just bummed that more people aren’t reading my blog, i.e. stroking my ego.
And then I found your beautifully self-effacing, open-hearted, really, really funny post. Thank you.
Lisa
lisa, it was my pleasure. and thank you for your lovely and introspective comment. the headline thing is a sticky issue. honestly. and a lot of mine suck. it’s just the way it goes, i think. anyway, i’m glad you clicked and i hope you come back for more. much love, mother
This is exactly what Im going through right now! Lol Love it! Im glad Im not alone =] Great Post!
so glad you liked it, new friend. stay strong! we’re all in this together. 🙂 – mother
LOL I always wonder how posts get freshly pressed. I make myself laugh hysterically as I read my own post aloud before hitting “publish.” I mean, if I’m making myself laugh, then why wouldn’t the world laugh with me? The world! Ugh, I wonder if it’s because I come across a little bitchy… but then again, Chelsea Handler and Tina Fey got success that way, why not me? Congrats on figuring out the magic in getting “freshly pressed!”
making yourself laugh is the first step, me thinks. and never fear your bitchiness. the world needs more perfectly placed bitch. embrace it! i do. thank you again and thank you for stopping by here. i hope you come back for more. hugs and thugs, momma
Well I have to say the title of this post was definitely a great hook. As I read more of the post I began to notice that you have written the post in such a way that tries to provoke a response.
Have to say when I read the bottom of the post mentioning the arrogance and a link to that post it clicked. You have really thought out the layout of your post so congratulations of the freshly pressed.
I will enjoy following your work in the future.
holdupnow
glad it got you to follow. thank you, jack! – mother
And here I thought I was the only person that felt this way…
…then again…I only get on average five views a day…22 views a day was a busy day.
…
I actually got a like today? Where the hell did that come from?! D:
Anyways, great post sweetmother. Great post.
we ALL feel like this in the beginning. i promise you. stay strong and thank you for coming by here! – mother
Well I have to say the title of this post was definitely a great hook. As I read more of the post I began to notice that you have written the post in such a way that tries to provoke a response.
Have to say when I read the bottom of the post mentioning the arrogance and a link to that post it clicked. You have really thought out the layout of your post so congratulations of the freshly pressed.
I am looking forward to seeing more of your work. Keep it up.
https://holdupnow.wordpress.com/
i’m not sure i was trying to provoke a response, so much as i was trying to be honest as to what goes through my head. seriously. has it hit a nerve? yes, perhaps, more like an artery! but, however it happens, i am grateful. i’m glad that you liked it. thank you for the thoughtful and insightful comment. all the besties, mother
These EXACT things run through my head! However, since I have ten followers and run about three likes per post, I have to say, I have more reason to question 😉 But I blog for the sheer joy of getting it all out, maybe one day my children will value my posts! Happy blogging to you, and thanks for sharing!
stay strong, fellow-blogger. stay strong. i had no one in the beginning either. thank you for coming by here. think of it as a support group and come by whenever you like. 😉 – SM
This was so hilarious! Perfect end to my day. Still new to the blogging thing so it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who goes through this mental torture after posting. Loved it! Will share it. 🙂
so glad to hear that, md. yep, we’re all slightly tortured and touched, perhaps. 🙂 glad you liked it. – mother
LOL! Oh I laughed so hard, thank you for writing this post. I can relate to this so much! Hands down my favorite? Minute 12.
so glad you liked it, stacey. please come by again for more. – SM
Brilliant!!!
So good to know I’m not alone in my crazed, post-blog thikning! Lol
oh no, danielle, rejoice in the fact that we are ALL a little bit crazy. 😉 thanks for stopping by here. – momma
Great job, I absolutely loved it!! Too funny.
thank you, helen. i really appreciat that. – mother
You, sweetmother, just made me laugh. Such a hilarious post! But freaky enough, it feels like you’ve read my mind or accessed my brain’s archives on my blog worries.
…
wait, did you?
Kidding aside, good job on this post! Really enjoyed it! 🙂
thank you, cherszy. i’m so glad you liked it. much love to you — mother
Bwa hahaha! Fantastic. Congrats on making Fresh-Pressed. Glad I’m not alone in my constant stat-checking. I imagine it’s a bit like following the stock market incessantly. Without the financial rewards. Oh I do love a good cyber back pat…
omg. ‘like following the stock market, but without the financial rewards’. i think i love you! brilliant. thank you for stopping by here and commenting. i hope to see you here again! hugs and stuff, sweet mother
Will be back for sure. Hugs right back at ya!
Nice to know I am not alone in my blogging endeavors. I am new to this and feel satisfied when the update shows an increase and a form of remorse and second guessing when no action is seen. I enjoyed reading your post.
Peach State
thank you, peach state. i’m glad you stopped by here. – SM
This was fantastic!!! I have been feeling low this week, haven’t blogged much and am not getting readers. Glad to know someone out there in the blogging world has the same thoughts as I do. I too, have done the “its Sunday” excuse. I will definitely be following! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed. Cheers!
thank you, new friend! stay strong, we all feel this way towards blogging. i’m glad you liked it and i hope you come by more often. much love, mother
lmfao ! brilliant ! Im new to this site ! never even really knew what a blog was (No im not living under a rock) 🙂 I’ll be following you ! look forward to reading more !
so glad to hear that, rowen! thank you for the kind words. – SM
Awwww. Poor thing. All that neurosis with 5000+ followers and a nice spot on Freshly Pressed. It’ll be okay.
aaaahhhh, now it will. lol. sh*t, means i have to find something else to complain about… thanks for coming by. – mother
look forward to your next complaint!
Reblogged this on Doctor Macro and commented:
I swear, this is what we think too! The views are encouraging but more interaction would be nice. Thanks for your support!
thanks for the reblog, doctormacro…it is very much appreciated. – sweet mother
Not a problem! you hit the nail on the head with your post. We’re new to this whole blogging thing so we can certainly relate to the discouraging levels of interaction!
That pretty much sums up my thoughts when I hit Publish. Oh wait…should I have capitalized that? Or maybe it should it have been in quotes? Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I must have slept through freshman English. Never mind…forget you ever heard from me. Delete! Delete! 🙂
aaaahhh, ha, ha, great commentary. we all do it. so, fear NOT you are not alone… lol. thanks for coming by here and i hope you stick around for more. – SM
This pulled me out of a WordPress/tequila hangover. Thanks for the wit. I’m now a fan.
my pleasure, sheilah. thank you for stopping by and saying so. – sweet mother
You post did not suck…Look at the likes and comments count 🙂
Loved your minute by minute update and I could not stop laughing at your ‘but only because you begged. Sorry. Sorry. I begged.’ line 😀
Congratz for being freshly pressed!
Have good Stats day ahead 🙂
thank you, balu. momma appreciates it! – SM
It´s the first time I read you, and you made me laugh a lot! Kisses from Spain! 🙂
el placer fue mia. or is it mio? besos a ti, tambien. xo – dulce madre…
Wow! Who does that? We all do and it’s hilarious to see your brain spazzing out as a post. Great this was almost orgasmic.
you had me at spazzing, but sealed the deal at “orgasmic”. 🙂 thank you for your kind words. i deeply appreciate them. much love, mother
This is so cool, and so funny. Congratulations on your talent to see the [blogging] world this way!
thank you, jack. i appreciate you saying so! – sweet mother
Hilarious! I loved this.
i’m glad to hear that. thank you! – sm
♥
Wonderful clever post!
glad you liked it, karen. thank you!
Yep, sounds about right! Gonna re-blog this.
thank you, spinster! i love reblogs. – SM
Hilarious! I found it on freshly pressed! I do the same thing! Except I get excited over much smaller numbers!
oh, i used to get excited over way smaller numbers too. never fear, emi, it never changes! thank you for stopping by here and commenting. hugs and stuff – mother
Well, it took me five minutes and I burned up 5000 calories just scrolling to the bottom of this page to leave a comment so I knew before I got there that no comment was necessary…that you know perfectly well that your posts don’t suck but since I worked as a mentally disturbed psychotherapist for 20 years I’ll share that when I was half way down the page it occured to me that “this guy’s just way too “suck conscious” and I don’t get it given that he’s got so much evidence of love…and embarrassment of love…I mean…aren’t you embarrassed? I would be…but I suppose it is possible that you could write a post that sucks but I haven’t seen it and don’t want to go there…I stay away from sucking sounds as much as possible…I know what can happen….just keep writing and see if it floats…Peace from Cambridge, MA (or wherever I am)…believe it or not I don’t care whether this comment sucks or not but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t hurt my feelings if you wanted to…there’s a lot of meat on that bone but I’m not hungry enough to gnaw on it right now…so, your answer: “as far as I can tell…it floats but even if it doens’t float it does not necessarily imply that it has been “sucked” anywhere…there are plenty of other forces loose in the world that can fuck with your words…believe me! Or not…
all correct, except for i must add, “this GIRLS’S just way too suck conscious”. lol. for i am all woman. however, you are one adorable nut-ball and therefore, i love you. please keep coming back to my blog and leaving insanely wonderful comments. this one went so many places – for example, i saw a vampire in a river somewhere for some reason…probably due to the “suckage of meat off a bone” or something like that. anyway, i loved it and i’m not into hurting feelings, unless someone acts like an a-hole, which you have not. so, thank you for scrolling all the way the feck down there to leave this. i know you have traveled far to do so and for that, i am truly grateful. yours in blogging, – sweet mother
lolz , every minute counts , and i learned that when i started to write for the blog , coz than u wait every minute to see that Orange color in the top bar , seriously , u must have been on the top of the world , u just got , let me see ->
1088 likes , are u kidding me ???
ohkay than i guess its time to change the name of ma blog to sweet father , maybe i would get half of the traffic you are getting ….
lolz… just kidding …
seriously enjoyed reading those 31 mins ….
No one can take back this 31 mins from u …..
🙂
thanks for the great comment, new friend. i dare someone out there to start a complimentary blog called, ‘sweet father’ – lol!! anyway, i’m loving the commentary on here and yours is a welcome one. we’re all blogging-crazies in our own ways. stay strong. i had nothing before this. and i just published a new post…and yet i’m STILL going through every min of this…lol. stay strong. hugs, sweet mother
Haha, good stuff. I wished I had that many views! Hey, everyone! 😉
hello back, joe. thanks for the thanks and for scrolling all the way down there. 😉 hope to see you around again. all the best, mother
Reblogged this on David Higgerson and commented:
Much as we all deny it, I defy any blogger not to recognise the stats-caused obsession explained here….
thanks for the reblog, david. it is much appreciated! – sweet mother
Jesus…. story of my life. I’ll follow you if you follow me.
sure thing, consider it done. – mother
It’s so hard to get the psychology of your readership right sometimes, especially if you do similar posts and then one soars while the other flounders. Sometimes it is just the mood the moment, sometimes it’s timely, sometimes it’s random, but more often than not, some of it is astrological or waves. I have a lot of tags, and I can see where the mood is based on that. Two weeks ago, so many people were searching “witchcraft,” “demons,” “magic,” etc., and then it stopped.
Most people make their online purchasing decisions on Monday mornings, by the way.
http://www.youtube.com/user/SunShine8308?feature=mhee
thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment, tarot. and if i can ever figure out what i’m selling, i’ll keep that monday thing in mind. all the best, mother
This is great…
glad you liked it, scotia. thank you. – sm
It work…. you just make me follow you 🙂
By the way your not the only one thinking that, I’m always checking my blog to see how many people has visited or how many likes I have after my last post… the most visits I ever had was 24 and that my friend was yesterday 🙂
yes, it seems we are all sharing a brain on this one. thank you for stopping by here and commenting, new friend. it is greatly appreciated. – mother
OK, OK, No, your blog doesn’t suck, actually, it’s sort of funny……. Very funny is a warped kind of way, which I enjoy. Yes, I have a somewhat warped personality. I think it is from hanging around too many university students. I always thought it would do me good and I would pick up some of the charm of college life by mingling with this particular group of people, but I have had to learn to laugh again, which is a good thing, right?
yes, karen, laughter is always good. 😉 glad you came by here and i hope you come back soon. now, quickly, move your van away from the college students. it’s starting to creep people out. or did you mean you work at a university? i’m so confused. anyway, we like you over here and we hope you come back for more. – mother
OK, OK, You are obviously looking for redemption, off some sort. But it’s entirely possible that you may be beyond it. Hey, I really enjoyed the post, and look forward to other attempts at making the rest of us feel like cosmic particles in the vastness of this universe. Keep it up.
glad you liked it. i could feel the spirits hovering around me as i read your comment. no, i couldn’t, but i thought it’d be fun to say. anyway, glad you came here and thank you for the kind words. namaste, mother
Oh I can agree with you on this…the mental debates that my inner me and real me go through are pretty much like this one. It’s funny how these become like our children, constantly being checked on, worried over, etc.
i know, it’s totally ridiculous. my wifesy is sitting right next to me now, thank god, studying. otherwise she’d be saying, ‘you’re on your blog AGAIN!!’ i must stop. it’s a disease. but, thank you for stopping by here, anastasia. i really appreciate it. – mother
PUAHAHHAHAHA
hheeeehhheeeeeeheeeeeeeee….
I know how you feel, I always want people to check out my blog. But do you wanna check out my site? http://damicyinternational.com hope you like.
Ill follow you if you follow me 🙂
sure, give me a minute and consider it done.
I was chuckling to myself as I was reading this because there are some days when I obsess about my stats. Okay, I lied. Not some days, but every day!
mai, you are not alone! lol. we’re all a little bit stats-crazy. but, at least in unity there is strength. honestly, thank you for stopping by here and we hope to see you around again. – sm
Hilarious! I totally have the same thought process! Please continue to be awesome!
you know, everyday i try to be just a little bit awesome. i’m not sure that i acheive it, though, but i definitely try. ;0 thank you for stopping by here, kn. we hope to see more of you. and by we, i mean me. – mother
He. He. i just posted something. I am trying not to visit my stats yet. I try to limit myself to one visit a day but I can’t seem to do it. I get so annoyed if I go for two days with no visits. AAAA I want to go visit.
oh, you addict, you. lol. we all do it. resist the urge. then check the stats. then resist the urge. then repeat. seriously, thanks for stopping by here, rainbow. i appreciate it. – mother
Love this post! I’m new to blogging and its felt good to know that my fear of the publish button isn’t uncommon!
nope, not uncommon at all. more like rampant! lol. anyway, thank you for coming by here. it is much appreciated. – mother
It’s the problem with having numbers associated with it – if you can count it then it is a competition, if only a competition with yourself. But I love the country stats.
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
very well said, alice. very well said. i love the country-thingie too. it’s fun to see where people are reading. anyway, thank you for the kind words and hope to see you around here again. – mother
Happens to me all the time
Well it may be because I’m new at blogging…
i’m also new at blogging. only two months in. maybe that’s why we care so much? no, i may care even if i’m doing this after two years, i’m not sure. anyway, thanks for stopping by and hope to see you again. – sweet mother
you must be good to be Freshly Pressed after only two months, and you’re right, we care about how many people sees our posts because then we feel we are actually doing something that people like, it’s like being an artist, you always want more people to know you, even if it’s not the main purpose of being an artist… I liked your post very much, thankyou 🙂 – Vic
This was very entertaining. I have never had any following until 3 days ago when I too become freshly pressed. Mine was merely to record the travel photos and journey so they would not get left and forgotten on some flash drive somewhere never to be seen again. Now in the past 2 days my brain thinks pretty much the same as what you wrote today. Thanks for the laugh.
my pleasure, sharon. and CONGRATS on being freshly pressed. that’s amazing. – sm
This is hilarious… if ONLY I could get more “likes” on my blog… weird but lately I have, or is it that WordPress is now alerting me to high “like” days… I’m pathetic… hahahaha… I’ll have to stalk your blog for a bit and see if you are going to be added to my “follow” list…
well, molls, i hope i prove worthy. 😉 anyhoo, either way, thanks for stopping by here, i’m glad you enjoyed the post. – sm
Reblogged this on mandiamanda.
thanks for the reblog, mandi. or is it amanda? – sweet mother
hey no problem. actually it is amanda. mandi is short for amanda. which have no idea why i put it like that. oh well
Questa è la magia d’internet, siamo letti nel mondo intero anche in paesi lontanissimi che non avremmo mai pensato!
Mi piace molto l’idea di wordpress di farci visualizzare i paesi nei quali siamo visti, era ora!
Ciao!
i don’t know what you just said…but, it was written beautifully… ciao! momma
The only problem with this post is that now I KNOW my blog sucks :p great post
lol. nah, i doubt it sucks. it’s just such a slow process in the beginning. believe me, i know, thus the blogging psychosis that you read all about. anyway, great comment – it made me laugh – and thanks for stopping by here. – mother
Oh God, I go through the same thing every time I post.. and that’s once a week only! A really good read – and excellent to know I am not alone in the blogging worrying game!
Thanks, Ana
http://mrsoaroundtheworld.com
you are so not alone, ana. in fact, we could form a hands-across-the-world type group on this subject. but, seriously thanks for stopping by here. – sweet mother
This is so true, happens to me every time!
oh, james, we ALL share a mind on this one, i can assure you. we all have this blogging disease! lol. seriously, thanks for stopping by here. – sm
Bet your rockin’ the other way now! Congrats on Freshly Pressed. Please check out my humble blog…
will do, as soon as i can get myself out from under all this comment – answering. – moms
Congrats on Freshly Pressed. Are you relaxed now!
unfortunately, not at all. lol. thanks for stopping by here though, diane. i hope to see you again. – sweet mother
This is brilliant!
thank you, preschool. i’m glad you liked it. – mother
Haha! I can relate to this a little too well. I’ve always been this way with anything I post online. “Oh my god WHERE ARE THE LIKES/FAVES/SHARES MY STUFF IS HORRIBLE!!! WHY DO I EXIST???”
Nice to know other people can be as conscious as I am and aren’t afraid to admit it. :)) Keep up the good work!
hank you, mel. i really appreciate that. nice to know we’re all a little bit nuts, huh? seriously, thanks for stopping by and i hope to see you again. – sweet mother
Morose code – now there’s a language I hope I never have to learn!
it’s so much sadder than regular, old, morse code. 😉 – mother
I feel so much better knowing that I’m not that bad, yet. Although, I do admit to being able to relate to quite a few. Great read for an early Sunday morning. Actually, it would be a great read for just about any day at any time. Thanks!
my pleasure, annie. thanks for saying such kind things. hope to see you again around here. all the best, mother
Ahhh, bloggers angst. You are not supposed to put my fears into words you know. 🙂
Hilarious. Really. But are you really worried when you get over a thousand comments and likes. When I get… oh no, bloggers angst and no new followers!!!
Arghhhh!
yep, still worried. just posted something today and wondering where the likes are. it never ends!! lol. it’s a disease!!!! but, stay strong, fellow-blogger – slow and steady wins this race, me thinks. thanks for stopping by here. – mother
Really well written. It was a pleasure to read this. I get similar thoughts once I publish.
oh, don’t we all, liberal. don’t we all. thanks for stopping by here and for the kind words. – mother
Well…..at least you got an answer to your question.
why yes! loud and clear. thanks for stopping by, misfit. – moms
I am so glad it is not just me 🙂 Brilliant post.
glad you liked it! and no, you are not alone. lol. – mother
hahahahahahah this is sooooo hilarious.. I just unexpectedly hit a milestone and I was like OMG 5 likes on one post 🙂 but seriously what’s the secret, I don’t even want to get freshly pressed or anything just a few more followers 🙂
engage, engage, engage – is one of the biggest not-so-secrets, in my humble opinion. thanks for stopping by here and the kind words, luwi. it is much appreciated. – mother
Reblogged this on Bits of Luwi.
thanks for the reblog, luwi. – moms
I too am an Orange 9, and worse yet, I have no earthly idea as to how I got to be one!
you are definitely deep into the blogging psychosis if you are calling yourself an ‘orange 9’. but, thank you for stopping by! lol. – mother
Perfection.
thank you, cassie. i truly appreciate that. – sm
Haha your latest post is great. I really enjoyed reading it. Check out my blog sometime.
will do, as soon as i can get out from under all this comment-answering. – mother
good deal thanks man.
What do you do to get so many views?
write well.
Reblogged this on Plugged In.
thanks for the reblog, generation.
This is essentially why I haven’t started blogging yet. I’ve got plenty of opportunity to feed my neuroses in my life at the moment thank you! 🙂
totally understand, timbo. though whenever you do plunge in the neurosis will still be here… ay yay yay. thank you for stopping by! – mom
Of course I do not recognize myself in that at all! Other than I never had more than a 2 on my orange…does that mean my blog sucks? Oh, no…I might as well quit right now…wait, I don’t care…ok, I’ll just stop myself right here…it was a good post, that’s what I meant to say 😉
ha, ha, ac, we all go through this nonsense. you are not alone!! lol. anyway, thanks for stopping by here. i’m glad you did. – mother
You got Freshly Pressed!! And it’s about time, too. Congrats! 🙂
This made my day. Hilarious!
so glad you liked it, stomping. i really appreciate it. – sm
You’re new blog post should be ‘My Blog Post Rocked Today!’ I would like to hear your minute play-by-play thoughts on being freshly pressed. Great job and I really enjoyed it! Thanks!
hmmmm, that’s a really interesting idea for a blog post, anya. lol. thank you for that. and seriously, thank you for stopping by here and saying nice things. i really appreciate it. – mother
i just might have to do that, anya. lol. anyway, thanks for stopping by here and the kind words. – sm
Well, I can’t wait to read it. I think it will be AWESOME!
Let me get this straight…the Westboro Baptist Church protests people’s blogs? I so want that to happen to my blog. Your post was hilarious! I just started a blog, and after I post something that is shared on Facebook, I just sit there and stare at the screen waiting for the number of people that “Like” my post to go up. At least I am not alone.
no, you are so not alone. we are all a bit in the cray-cray dept when it comes to blogging. i don’t think the westboro baptist church protests blogs yet, but i’m hoping mine will be the first. ay, they’re such a bunch of douchebags. anyway, you i love. hope you come around here more often. hugs and stuff – sweet mother
So obviously you’re funny…I followed you because you are a fellow user of the term cray-cray. That’s good stuff. Please check me out at htpp://thesinglecrunch.wordpress.com. Thanks!
cray-cray should be a part of everyone’s lexicon. and i try each and everyday to make it so! lol. thank you for the kind words, single, and i hope to see you around here soon. – sweet mother
Well, I happened across your blog through freshly pressed, so I’m betting it’s safe to say that your post did NOT suck today! LoL
It was quite funny to read through and be able to relate to so many – only said more bluntly than I myself would have the courage to say aloud!
I look forward to reading more! (And hurray for another orange button!) LoL
yay! i love it when the orange button number grows! lol. seriously, ‘unclothed’, thank you for stopping by here and saying such nice things. momma appreciates it! – me
This was definitely an entertaining post! 🙂
glad you liked it, just koe. thank you.
Haha! 😀 brilliant.
glad you liked it. thank you. – me
Now I’m gonna write a post titled “I’m an insecure blogger because a lady with 5,000+ followers has fears that her blog sucked.”
But seriously, this was hilarious, I loved it!
hey matt, if you’re seeing over 5000 there that’s because i have my wp and my facebook connected and it’s counting my facebook friends. because BELIEVE ME when i wrote this post, i only had about 100 wp followers. now, i have a few hundred. so, don’t let that number fool you. as for the 5000+ fb friends that i have that’s because i’m a comedian and we’ll add anyone who even thinks they’ll attend a show of ours sometime. so…now, i guess i have to write a post called, ‘to matt: the guy who thinks the girl with 5000+ followers really has that many followers, when in reality only a few hundred people read her blog”. lol. the reality is, we’re all fighting hard to get a few eyes. and i have no idea how to get them. i just try to write quality stuff whenever i can, as much as i can. so, that’s the long and long of it. thanks for stopping by here and i’m super-glad you liked the post. hugs and thugs – sweet mother
Phew! Good to know, now I can put to rest a little bit of those insecurities. Haha.
Well, you definitely delivered quality with this one.
I’m a fairly new blogger so I’m just learning the tricks to attracting views. Just this past week I realized the value of using tags and I’ve been thrilled to have new faces give feedback on my blog! (I know, I know, I just forgot to read my common sense of blogging manual).
Then I saw the bar you set and I realized that I have a long way to go. But its encourage, I can’t wait for my stats bar to rise!
Thanks for your reply,
Live by Faith,
Matt
matt, you’ll be fine. it takes time. slow and steady wins the blogging race, if you ask me. and i’ve only been on here for 2 mos. so, give the best that you can and it will come and yes, tags are paramount – no way for people to find you without them. stay strong. – mother
Perfect for winding my brain down before bedtime! think i laughed for 31 min!
excellent, that was my plan exactly. 🙂 – sm
Awesome job, congrats. I thought I was the only one who did this. LOL
nope, we’re all a little nuts over this blogging stuff…stay strong, no more gluten, stay strong! lol. – sm
This is really a good work. I appreciate your efforts behind that. Have a great day!
thank you very much. i appreciate that. – mother
You are most welcome.
I’m not going to follow you based on principle. You have over 5,000 followers, well enough to start your own religion, and I have 11. The principle, then, being a petulant 8 year old type of jealousy. I may stop back by though. I may not. I may though. Obviously you’re one of those robot avatar chess playing simulacrum doppelgangers or something. If you post once a day and have, like, 1200 comments, then in just one month you would have like, a lot of comments or something, and never be able to reply back to them all like you appear to do. Anyway, for an advanced linguistic algorithm, I guess this post was alright. Can you see me?
i see you, shawn, i see you. like the blue lady said to the blue man in that movie, ‘avatar’ – now we’re supposed to touch ponytails or something. take a look at matt’s post and it’s becoming the bane of my existence, but i DO NOT have 5000 followers. i have my facebook and my wordpress connected, so it’s reading my facebook friends into the count on my wordpress page and there i have a lot of ‘friends’ – no one who would fix the tire on my car mind you, but lots of ‘friends’. when i wrote this, i had about 100 followers, now i have a few hundred more. lucky me, i suppose. who knows. toodles and thanks for stopping by here. – sweet mother
Enough with the incessant begging. I accept your apology. Fine then. Since you only have 10 times more followers than me, and not a 100 times more, I’ll follow you.
waaaaah! okay, great. – moms
Very funny post. Congrats on being freshly pressed!
thank you, girl. i appreciate that. – moms
For some odd reason, I felt a less strong urge to click ‘Follow’… Hmmm, that was such an epic post I must’ve felt like you don’t need any more followers… Eh. *click*
isabella, you are not alone. i have also done the whole, ‘that blog is getting too much love, i’m not giving that blog anymore love’ damn it thing!!! i’ve done it, we’ve all done it. you’ve vocalized it, now go write a post about it. lol. on a serious note, thank you for clicking, i don’t take it lightly. hugs.
– mother
yes – it’s a bit of a problem…. no, but in all seriousness awesome post, totally relatable and thanks again!
Wow, i don’t believe it. more 1100 comments on your blog. i Appreciated it. this is the First time i saw when I am being a blogger for many years ago. i thing when i was saw your blog is you always (almost) reply for reader walking on your blog. this is one of the trick to be a good blogger.
Congrats..:)
i agree, julio. i think engaging and talking to other bloggers is one of the best things you can do as a blogger for your own blog. it’s a ‘trick’ that not everyone applies. most people don’t have the time, which i understand too. however, i like doing it, so i suppose it’s sort of a ‘to each her own’ sort of thing. anyway, thank you for the great commentary and for stopping by here. – mother
Reblogged this on Brownhills Barry and Clayhanger Clive's Blog and commented:
I stumbled upon this blog and couldn’t help but smile because it is so true! It has some fantastic information for bloggers, new and old! It’s worth a few minutes of your time, so go on, take a look.
thanks for the rb, barry!
No-one reads mine…I don’t care…
aw, perk up little, cameron. all is not lost. – mother
It’s ok for you, with your legions of followers…..nah, I still don’t care
Hilarious! You captured most bloggers emotions 🙂
it seems so, kavi, it seems so. thanks for coming by. – moms
Funny stuff! I liked it!
glad to hear that, cword. thank you!
your more than welcome! keep the funy stuff coming!!
Everyone can relate, I’m definitely sure about that.
yep, i think they can, dorian. i think they can. thanks for stopping by. – mother
We’ve all been there! I love that you’ve just put it out there…makes me feel far less insane. Or at least if I am insane, there’s another person in my club!
Oh and “emo feet” seems to be how people often find my blog. I once referred to my toe nail polish as emo and that happened. It’s not a blog about emos or feet! Argh!!!
oh, sam, that will never end! the search terms are soooo crazy. but, it’s fun to obsess over the craziness from time to time. though i try to moderate the time spent doing so. arrrgggh. losing the battle today. lol. glad you came by.
– mother
oh, the blogging-insanity club is very VERY large i am realizing. lol. welcome to it and we hope to see you around here more often. 😉 mother
My blog only has 24 followers, but I still obsess over my stats. I have the wordpress app on my phone and I will check my stats every couple of hours or so. My highest number of views on any given day was 52 and I’m pretty sure that it was only that high because one of my family members was catching up on the blog but I still felt like throwing a party 🙂 Congrats on being freshly pressed! I’m sure it brought your numbers way up!
hello, amy. it most certainly did. fyi, the first symptom of blogging-psychosis is having that darned app on your phone!! ’cause, of course, i have it on mine too. 🙂 thank you for stopping by here and for your kind words. hope to see you again. – mother
I know what you mean-comments from poietes make my day…
we love poietes here! she often makes my day too. – mother
Reblogged this on annisupertramp.
thank you for the reblog, annie! – sm
wow! hilarious post. thanks for sharing! Greeting from the Netherlands.
hello annie, from the netherlands, so glad you liked it. hope you come back for more! all the best, mother
Wow, here I thought it was just me who had thoughts like that ;P Thank you so much for the chuckle (and the comfort of knowing I am not alone!)
Excellent read!
thank you, zen. we hope to give you lots of laughs here… – mother
Bahaha, oh the thoughts that run though bloggers minds 😛
very true. hope you stick around for more, ‘life’s a bowl’. hugs, mother
So much fun, I smiled and laughted out loud. My dog thinks I’m crazy, oh well. Thanks!
oh, my dog also thinks i’m crazy. this simply means you have a very ‘with it’ dog. lol. glad you liked it. – mother
This was hilarious and absolutely sums up what goes through my head as soon as I post. I get, like, OCD and have to keep checking and refreshing my page every minute to see if I have any more view/likes/etc.
Great post! Made me laugh! 😀
so glad you liked it! hope you come back for more. – mother
Congratulations on being freshly pressed! woohoo! x
Reblogged this on City Nomad.
thank you for the reblog, jeremiah!
Haha. : ) It’s like this for me, too. Except that no one ever likes my posts. You’re doing just fine, Sweet Mother. x
Trust me, for me to get one comment on my posts is a miracle, so don’t feel bad. Lovely post.
I love it! I do exactly the same thing, except that my neuroses are justified, because my posts DO suck. WHY DOESN’T THE INTERNET UNDERSTAND MY NEED FOR ANONYMOUS VALIDATION?
This was truly amazing. Funny, funny, funny sh*t. I hate myself now for not reading it when I saw it on Freshly Pressed — I definitely was not off having a life or wishing for a travel blog but certainly was too busy checking me own stats to read this.
This was truly amazing. Funny, funny, funny sh*t. I hate myself now for not reading it when I saw it on Freshly Pressed — I definitely was not off having a life or wishing for a travel blog but certainly was too busy checking my own stats to read this.
And I just posted my comment twice on accident so you can have that extra one as a keepsake.
How funny are you!
Whoaaaaaaaaaaaa. Apparently your post DID NOT suck as holy crap there are so many comments and so many likes! Can I just say that I am super duper jealous of how many page views you have?! I start doing a little dance if I surpass 50 😛
you’ll get there. trust. i think this post just hit a ‘blogging chord’ with a lot of people. looool. xo, sm
I trust 😛
I can’t believe I’ve only just read this… hilarious, woman!
Fun to read… again. 🙂
momma loves you, again, second mother. 😉
You so tweet.. 😉