bloggingthistee

A Web MD-ish Guide to Blog Fatigue Syndrome

Chronic Blog Fatigue is a traumatic tiredness brought about by excessive posting, reading of blogs, commenting, and the general maintainence that is required to keep a readership growing.  If you blog anywhere between once a week and once a day, you could be suffering from CBF.  If you blog more than five times per day – please stop.

 

...better blogging

 

Symptoms include:

  • Waking up in the morning, turning over to see your spouse, and seeing a like button poised and pressed over her head.
  • Tender orbal lobes (some people call these eyes) from staring at a screen all day long.
  • A fat arse from cutting out exercise to blog more.
  • Joint pain because for some reason there is always joint pain.
  • Nausea because for some reason there is always nausea.
  • Painful nodes growing out of your thumbs due to excessive comment answering on your 4G.
  • Stats-icocis.  Self explanatory – that’s what your stats have turned you into an icocis, the worst kind.  No one likes a stats-icocis.

 

Please don't.

 

Treatments:

  • Dipping your motherboard in a deep fryer
  • Reading a book or talking to a real person
  • Reading things printed on stuff that was made from trees
  • Creating your own indoor electrical storm that causes you to “accidentally” break your circuits
  • Becoming a hippie and cancelling your wireless service
  • Moving to the moon
  • Living for one year as a neo-luddite  (Is there a colony for this?)
  • Slowing down your posting rate by amputating your limbs and typing with your face
  • Topical creams

 

As you can see, this is all Sweet Mother has within her today.  She will be taking comments for the rest of the day from bed like a blogging version of Debbie Reynolds.  Maybe it was all that red wine last night, maybe it’s because the muse has decided to leave her for a newer blogger, who knows.  It just is.

 

For non-bloggers:  This post is done.  You can stop reading now.

 

For bloggers:  This post has been decently ironed.  You can become decently ironed too, just read the bottom of this post.

 

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Sweet Mother is updated daily.  You can follow by clicking the “follow” button at the top of this blog.

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You might also like, Review of the Woman Who Sat Behind Me During the Descendants

or

My Suze Orman-ish Guide to Helping Gayby with His or Her Money

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Photo creds:  wbmd, blogging-tee

40 thoughts on “A Web MD-ish Guide to Blog Fatigue Syndrome

  1. How apropos, Mother.
    The more I write, the more I read, the more I comment. the more I feel I am watering down my content… (Which has inspired my 7PM post).
    As always, very pertinent. And I’m not just saying this cause I think you’re the fu*king bomb (I hope I’m using this term well in that language of yours).
    CoF

    1. and i read your post about ‘dave’ at 5am bc i need an intervention and couldn’t sleep. i have thoughts on that. will leave them at your blog in a few. tomorrow i’m hoping to write something on here that is NON feckin’ blog related. you used bomb correctly and you made this hungover’d girl smile. merci, cof. merci.

    2. Hey CoF, I told you you needed a cream.
      This post is about you. You specifically. This CBFS is also known as Robillard Syndrome.
      Thank gawd you’re not contagious.

  2. Hiya Mother. Was wondering when I was going to see you today. I don’t know how you do this everyday. I have trouble getting a new post every few days. We DO enjoy them though! :-)

    1. thanks, wendy. yeah, today i’m tired. i want to get back to writing some non-blogging related things tomorrow. i worked on my book proposal first today and then by the time i got to this, man, i ran OUT of steam. CBFS completely. ugh. thanks for being so sweet tho. i always appreciate it. – moms

  3. Pretty sure I have this. All of it. I would love to be decently ironed, but the web doc says I need to lay off WordPress. Another great post :)

    1. i have a strong case of it myself, but i will live on to fight another day. your stuff is always good, rfl. so, get some rest. decently ironed will be here for you, whenever you want it. godspeed and thank you.

    1. ugh, i’m sure there is. i just needed a rest yesterday. so, it was a quick post and a delay on the comment answering, but MOMMA IS BACK…and headed over to your blog today. heard you’ve posted a new one…

  4. We will all still love your blog and keep coming back even if you need to take a couple days off. Promise! I’m lucky to manage 2-3 posts per week–don’t know how you keep it up daily. Everyone needs a little respite. :)

    1. i will never rest! rest is for the dead!! i did need to rejuvie myself yesterday though. so, i took a rejuvie and a delay in comment answering and now i’m back! feeling good and looking betta…mmmm, hmmmmm. what is wrong with me? anyway, carries, (i know there’s not two of you, just fun to say) – looking forward to your blog today…

  5. I have definitely seen a 200% increase in my ass since I started blogging – even more so after moving to my own host where I have to bribe former readers to come back with jelly beans.

    I was not familiar with the Decently Ironed award. At first I thought you might be referring to my post back in Feb about freshly pressing yourself – which of course also involves irons.
    http://themainland.net/i-just-freshly-pressed-myself/

    1. robbie-rob-base – okay, let’s pretend i didn’t say that. first off, i don’t know how in the hell you’ve pulled off that whole self-hosted, url, thingie. i think i would lose my mind trying to get everyone from here over to there. i practically lose my mind – daily – and i’m only dealing with here! will you ever write a post on why you switched over? have you done that already and i’ve missed it? as far as decently ironed – to me – it’s where the blogging world eats itself. it’s that perfectly poised place between sh*t no one understands outside of blogging and hilarious to all those ‘in the know’. posts like that fall under the ‘decently ironed’ category. i’ve seen your i freshly pressed myself and thought it was hilarious. everyone here should read it, if they haven’t already. thanks for stopping by here, rob, it is truly appreciated. – mother

      1. I have written some posts leading up to my switch as to why I did it. One thing I will tell you (or anyone else) that is considering self-hosting would be to pay the few bucks to continue using Akisment to block spam. I get about 50-70 spam comments a day now, which probably means that when I look at my numbers, 98% are just spammers.

  6. I just thought you should know…I absolutely LOVE your blog! You are hilarious! Keep the great posts coming! :)

    1. lol. oh, bill, bill, bill, bill – you have made me laugh once again in the comments section. i’ll be heading over to yours today, as well. as i belive i saw a new post, me thinks. as always, it’s nice to see your stanley cup here.

  7. I may have to move to the moon. It seems the best option available right now. ;)

    I’m going to a film festival this weekend and have repeatedly told myself that I will not blog (although I did set up scheduled posts). Any bets on how long it takes me to find an internet connection and replace those scheduled posts with some live blogging? Yes, I need help… to the moon with me!

    1. to the moon, alice, to the moon! we all need help. all of us. yet, it is at time a beautiful disease. ay yay yay. and yes, the first step to recognition of this problem is when you schedule a post for when you are away, which i have done. oh, lawd, is there a group meeting we can all attend?! anyway, robin, at least we can go to the moon together. xo – mother

  8. When I first began this adventure, four years ago, I used to go through my blogroll every day, faithfully, as if I was being a bad blogger by not visiting daily. Then I grew up . . . no wait, that’s another story. Anyway, I’m terrible about going through my blogroll, but now that I’m back to almost daily blogging, I’m trying to read every one at least once a week, including back posts. So my comments aren’t timely, but at least they’re there (notice the correct usage of the two homonyms, she said ever so smugly).

    Where was I . . . nausea and joint pain because there is always nausea and joint pain. Yes.

    Motherboard in the deep fryer . . . you know, that would explain a lot. And sometimes I type with my face just because I can. Can you tell?

    1. oh, poietes, thank you for stopping by today and for posting somewhere other than my FP post. i truly appreciate that and you are a wonderful blogging, friend. – mother

  9. Thank you for diagnosing me! I lost almost three hours on Tuesday looking at the computer and reading blogs. The irony was that I am in the process of teaching Thoreau’s Walden. Needless to say, I did not escape to the woods, but this weekend I may go blog free…for a day…maybe.

    1. oh, the lost time of blog reading. i like to call them fugue states. escape, dear girl, escape. we will all be here, fatter and atrophied when you return. lol. – mother

  10. I knew this had to be a disorder! Damn…I think I need an intervention. There are times when my hubby literally has to unplug the laptop so that I can take a literal hint….like now. Thankfully you got FP so that I found this and realized I had a problem.

    I’m following your blog because its hilarious…and oh so true :)

    1. thank you, honestly, that is so kind. and yes, we are slaves to this damn blogging thing/ activity/ craft/ i don’t know what it is. thought i know my wifesy’s going to put me on a sabbatical very soon! lol. thanks for stopping by here and for following. to me, that’s the highest compliment and i don’t take it lightly. so BIG thank you. :) – mother

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