Sweet Mother’s Reggie Reader Profile #4 (Blogroll Sunday!)

It’s Reggie time!  It’s that day of the week when I seep a reader of mine in buckets of praise.  I can not think of a better candidate for such teabag-like steepage then my sistah in comedy:




...Because colon health is one of the keys to beauty.


Speaker 7 is out of her beautiful, goddamned mind – as the anonymous, Samantha Brick “Oh I’m so pretty, so Speaker 7 did me a favor and threw a bag over my head” photo should indicate.  7 has chosen the photo of this self-proclaimed beautiful narcissist posed next to a bag of colon cleansing doggie treats as a stand-in for her own photo.  Never mind, that the bag says “coprophagia” on it, which I believe means a dog eats their own poo.  I respect this choice.  Truth is, I respect everything Speaker 7 writes.


Let me explain to you what goes down every time I read a Speaker 7 post.  I flip open her blog in my browser.  My insides start to quiver.  I see her first joke three sentences down and I upchuck a giggle.  It’s a quick one like Kate Moss would do after brunch.  I move my eyes down the page and see her first picture.  I usually see something like this:



…and I guffaw.


I can’t help myself.  I read a bit further and Speaker 7 takes the truth – usually a gently bruised, half naked maiden – and dresses her up in a respectable, shining military uniform of funny by saying something like this:


Geraldo actually used the word “gangsta” and kept saying “gangsta,” really overemphasizing the “sta” of the “gangsta” to an extent that I stuck my hand into a food processor so I could concentrate on something else.


I read that and I pee myself.


This is how it goes when I read Speaker 7.  Trembling insides, a giggle, a wild guffaw, an “Oh, no!  that was feckin’ awesome”, and then I peer down to realize I’ve whizzed in my double-wides.  (Double-wides is what I call my underwear, since I do have two cheeks.)


Jump in my double-wides and let's read Speaker 7 together.


I also sound like a beer guzzling sport fanatic when I read Speaker 7.  I read something of hers and I find myself going, “COME ON!  COME ON!  YES, YES, YES!”  If someone walked by my house at that moment they’d say that dude with the high voice must be watching the football game.  Nope, this lady in her knickers is reading Speaker 7.


I honestly feel that Speaker 7 elevates comedy to another level.  I think it would be a horrible shame in blog-land if more people didn’t read her.  She complained recently about her site stats in a post.  I’m so in denial that she has any site stat suckage, that I refuse to link to the post.  But, I will link to some others.  She has an incredible series known as “turd of the week” where she talks about creationism, burkas, and women as livestock.  I also dare you to check out her piece where a bride feeds herself THROUGH A NOSETUBE to lose some lbs before the wedding and NOT laugh.  I dare you to check out her piece on Ghost-Douches and why we should have a better screening process before d*cks get their own TV programs and NOT wee yourself a little bit.


Truth is, I was a fan of Speaker 7 before any of you were a fan of me, which means I have incredible comedy tastes.  Truth is if someone doesn’t publish this funny-assed broad, I may have to clone myself and start a publishing company.  So, I can publish her myself.


The moral:  don’t be a turd.  Be a good egg.  Click THIS LUCKY NUMBER 7 link and follow her.


You’re welcome and Happy Sunday.


Much Love,





Sweet Mother is updated daily.  If you’d like to receive an email with new content, simply click the “follow” button at the top of this blog.


You might also like:

Reader Reggie Profile #3


Fag Hags for Gay Girls


Photo creds:  fundies, coffee

34 thoughts on “Sweet Mother’s Reggie Reader Profile #4 (Blogroll Sunday!)

  1. I’ve just “followed” Speaker 7, not in a stalker, I’m in the bushes kind of way- but in the internet-stalker, I’m googling to find out where you live sort of way.

  2. Holy Corprohagia-treats! I am stunned and honored and feeling emotions I didn’t even know I had (is fundie-love an emotion?) from this post. I am in awe and indebted to the wonderful mother I call sweetmother. To have a comic genius think my stuff is funny is almost as good as Samantha Brick thinking I’m beautiful. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

      1. oh, is that what it was? the article hedged on that and didn’t really say. or do you know because you put it there? bwwaaahhhhhhaaaa. sorry, couldn’t resist. xoxo

    1. my pleasure, sara. she’s a gift, i tell you. and hey, momma misses you. i need to head over to your blog. are you still dark? i haven’t seen anything come through my reader. many hugs, me

      1. Darkish. Sticking my head in to comment here and there…but feeling a tad overwhelmed as of late, so blogging has not been at the top of the list. But it will all make a great post someday, knowhadimean? I’ll bring funny back, swearz.

  3. Can you send me a link to Speaker 7’s blog? She sounds the kind of funny that is right up my alley! No surprise that it is you who finds the really funny ones. I can only imagine how it must be like around your house. I hope this humor is woven through out everything you do. I have a feeling it is. (Well except when dealing with the irs etc!) :)

  4. I am the choir on this. And I am here to perform the refrain on the beautiful gospel song of “Speaker7 is Brilliant and Highly Underrated” that you have just now performed in your Fundies. Only instead of singing it in a traditional way, I will perform it on my child’s plastic kazoo because I think those are also Brilliant and Highly Underrated.

    I’m happy to discover your blog in the process — I love anyone that pees this much. It makes me feel better about the fact that my childhood nickname was “I hope we brought a spare pair of culottes”.

  5. I am always so grateful to find new reading material that makes me laugh, so thank you so much! Yours has brought me great joyful noise in my office, so much my Cockatoo has begun to laugh over my shoulder, now it seems we have more to chuckle together about.

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