“You Look Like Sisters”

I was out the other night at a fun show where I performed.  Wifesy was there with me because she actually enjoys comedy, which is a rarity among the significant others of comedians.  She’s awesome like that.  I performed and we went out with a group after.  A straight dude, there with his girlfriend, said to me, “You two look like sisters.”  Then he said, “Oh, my god, it’s like those sisters are kissing.  It’s so hot.”


Okay.  First off, Wifesy and I TRULY do NOT look like sisters.  We both have dark hair.  But, that’s about it.  I outweigh her by 50 lbs.  She’s got an adorably romanesque nose and I have a small bunny-like snout.  The differences go on.


This is not Penelope Cruz making out with her sister, as originally reported. This is Penelope makingout with a look-alike.


In fact, when we met, Wifesy had a breakdown-ish type moment because we were SOOO different.  Our life-resumes could not have been more contradictory.  She was a vegetarian, vagitarian, buddhist, conspiracy theorist with a belief in fairies.  I was a bisexual, carnivore, non-practicing Catholic, skeptic with a belief in the logical and the hilarious.  This threw Wifesy for a loop.  I quickly explained to her that our resumes need not be matching.  The only thing that matters is do we match INTERNALLY.  And there we totally do.  We’re both extremely loyal, fighters (in a good way), alpha personalities, funny, good-hearted, sweet, and kind with an edge.  We’ve both got major edge.  The matchy-matchy inside is a facet of what makes our match a good one.


Now, for the sisters thing.  It’s very strange to me that this happens to gay women.  If people see two women being intimate – the first place they go is – sisters.  Many times this has happened to us.  I distinctly remember walking down a street in San Francisco (San Francisco, for god’s sake) near the wharf with our arms around each other’s backs and a vendor looking at us with a huge smile on his face.  As we passed by he said, “Sisters,” with a big sigh as if he were remembering big-titted versions of himself walking arm in arm back in his homeland.


Okay, these lesbos may look similar, but that’s because they’re part of a “Just Beiber Look-Alike Contest.” Seriously.


It’s an odd occurrence.  Wifesy has said it has happened to her with every girlfriend she’s had, minus Lakita, and – obviously – that’s because Lakita was black.  It’s happened to me with another girlfriend, as well.


I can only surmise that this NEVER happens to gay men.  There’s no way that gay men are walking arm in arm and people go, “Ah, brothers!”  It just doesn’t happen.  Though it might happen in the Arab world where straight men walk around holding hands, which is a good thing because if they thought you were a homo in Arab-landia they just might bulldoze a house over you.


And then there’s the, “Ugh, Sisters together…sooo HOOOOOTTTT.  My man-parts are melting,” thing.  This I don’t understand at all.  When and why does one EVER want to see family members make-out?  I don’t get this at all.  If I saw two sisters make-out all I would think is GROOOOOSSS.  I attribute this to the “Howard Stern” factor.  I believe he’s had some “hot” twins making out with each other on his show.  So, it’s Stern’s fault because seriously – ewww.  But, I guess it could’ve been worse.  He could’ve said, “Hey, everybody let’s watch this two, hot, great aunts make-out.”  That might’ve been worse.


I DO think that most couples need to stop themselves from what I call, “twinning off.”  You’ve seen this phenomenon – a couple’s been together for a while and they start to look like one another.  They start to dress the same, think the same, talk the same, etc.  In my opinion, this happens with both straight and gay couples.  But, true enough, with women together – it can happen even faster.  After all, Wifesy and I do have some similar shoes and tops because, well, we like some of the same things.  I mean, that’s why we’re together.


As far as the, “Yum, sisters.  Hot.  Yeah, yum,” factor, I can only guess this has something to do with what goes on in men’s heads, sex-wise, vs. what goes on in women’s heads, sexually-speaking.  For example, a sweet girl came up to Wifesy and I after a show and said, “You guys are so hot.  You’re such a good looking couple,” but it was the tone of it that made it different from a dude.  She meant it as a compliment and it had a note of admiration to it.  Compare that with the guy that came up to Wifesy and I in the subway in New York.  I suppose Wifesy and I were – maybe – touching.  Maybe holding hands, maybe a peck on the cheek here and there.  We’re full grown adults so we don’t engage in tons of sloppy pda, but I would say we were affectionate enough to indicate a certain kind of intimacy.  I noticed a dude out of my periphery, as every woman does, you learn to note them the way a deer notes a wolf standing watchfully at the edge of the forest.  With time and experience you get better at recognizing whether it’s a wolf or a lamb, but experienced or not, women always notice them lurking.  There are a lot of feckin’ lurkers out there.  So, I note the wolf in my side gaze.  I note and ignore.  Slowly, the wolf-man comes over quivering.  He sputters out something like, “You’re both so pretty…” or something like that and then shakily walks away.  What amazes me most is that this man NEVER would’ve come up to me if I were alone.  I’m almost certain of that.  But, there’s something about the two of us together where he just can’t help himself.


These two are not lesbos nor sisters. I believe one of them just scored a touchdown in the ribbon-twirling event.


Understand, this is not an “I’m so pretty” post because I almost never think of myself that way.  Cute, okay, maybe, but that’s usually about as far as I go about myself.  What fascinates me is the male, quivering, FASCINATION with lesbianism.  And then they want to turn lesbians into some weird sister-fetish.  I mean, wtf is that?  From time to time, I think gay, male, porn is pretty awesome.  I mean it’s two pretty men together.  And pretty is pretty, but if someone said, “Oh and they’re brothers…” I think I’d throw up in my mouth a little bit.


So, I’ve got no answers today, but I AM – as always – very curious to hear your thoughts on the subject.  Why do straight dudes fetishize gay women?  And then – worse yet – want to put them in some kind of ‘sisters’ category.  Let me know what you think.  I’m endlessly intrigued by it.


Much love,





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Photo creds:  gymnasts, penelope, biebers, ellen-feature

33 thoughts on ““You Look Like Sisters”

  1. Sweet Mother,
    I don’t get it… What if I want to make-out with my sister? Have you ever seen two clowns kissing? Sheesh…
    Le Clown

    1. lol. then it’s just west virginia type sh*t. tho two clowns kissing is kinda hot in a carnival-esque sense. MOMMA MISSES YOU, LE CLOWN. tell le ringmistress her reggie is coming up. (it’s like we have our own language now…) xo, sm

      1. SM,
        We miss you too… As I’ve been saying this morning on some posts, we were very comfy here in BlogoLand. Stupid life couldn’t take it, that fucking wanker, and called us back. But she’s now locked in a basement somewhere, with a tv and a remote… She should leave us alone for a little while.
        Le Clown

  2. I don’t quite get it either. I’ve asked Mr. Weebles about why straight guys have such a fetish aboutf two women getting it on—I had to wait while he stood there for a while contemplating this subject—then he said, “Because it’s two women getting it on.” Very helpful.

    The sisters thing baffles me. I’ve heard this from a lot of lesbian couples too–doesn’t matter if there’s a huge age difference, if both women are very butched out, whatever. I don’t get why that’s the immediate assumption. Because yeah, I don’t see Chelsea boys holding hands and think, “Awww, that’s sweet, they’re brothers!”

    1. it’s bizarre, isn’t it? i love that that was your hubby’s response. it’s just hilarious. it’s like two chicks together sort of circumvents the modern straight dude brain and send them back to – me club woman, me hunt food, you ladies kiss, later we all make baby…

      very, very strange. lol. xo, sm

  3. What really amuses me is that lesbianism is accepted through almost all of the male population- in fact, most support it- but when you turn it around for male homosexualism, they cringe and even can get violent about it.
    But as far as sisters go, I don’t understand that. At all.
    XoXo Radium Rollercoaster

    1. i know, radium, that is all so true. some of that is because men don’t really find women threatening. so there must be a ‘ah, look cute puppy dogs’ infused with sex when they see two women…loooooool. a straight male friend posted quite the explanation on fb, i’ll repost it here because it’s awesome. from brendan:

      “Its the improbability of it ever happening in person for someone. Its an item on some sort of impossible sexual bucket list. Its like any other so called “conquest”, only X2 and taboo. For some its a “what if?” and once its thought of, and maybe even practiced by one, it immediately becomes ammunition for a male competition and fantasy thats almost unattainable unless you have a lot of money or know a family with a very troubled past.”

  4. I think it is the same as the way most men think that all gay women are bi-sexual. They just assume that two women together will be looking for a man to join them. It’s a fantasy that has nothing to do with reality.

    1. now that is the truth, sister, and i don’t mean that in a make-out sort of way. i mean like, ‘sistah.’ lol. it’s totally humorous to me that men think, ‘well, she’ll come back this way for a while with me or let me join…’ nuts-balls, in a crazy-head sort of way. because for most lesbianas, it ain’t gonna happen…xo, sm

      1. Too true! If I asked any of my lesbian friends if they would consider ever bringing a guy in for a three-way, they’d probably slap me in the face. I guess most guys just don’t get that a GAY means GAY.
        Also the thought of kissing my sister is beyond disgusting! It gives me the heebee jeebees.

  5. I doubt that the same guys who think watching two unknown women who look like sisters kiss is erotic would feel the same way if it were his OWN sisters doing it.

    Likewise, if it were 2 400 pound sisters, I doubt they would find that hot either.

    Heck it’s hard enough finding 2 straight people kissing that’s hot outside of porn.

    1. you are right, rob. if the sisters are butchy and look alike it may not go down the same way. not that the butchies are missing the attention. i’m pretty sure they don’t want it. i’m pretty sure most gay women don’t want it. at least not to that extent. but, you make such a good point – there’s a huge difference between the sister fantasy and AHHHH, NOT MY SISTER!!! a huge difference. ;) sm

  6. Yeah, I don’t get it either. Two sisters macking out means incest means barf. Men are odd creatures.

    1. lol. you reminded me of a saying that have in alaska, fish. it’s about the women to men ratio. there being way more men than women and it goes, ‘the odds are good, but the goods are odd.’ loool. fitting, me thinks. xo, sm

  7. I write erotica – m/f, m/m, sometimes f/f stuff. And in the course of researching sex scenes, I watch a lot of porn. A lot of porn. A LOT OF PORN. It so happens like watching porn, so that’s good.

    It’s my observation while trawling porn sites for just the right scene to inspire whatever I’m working on that there is a lot of incest fantasy stuff out there in all genres of porn — whether it’s written erotica and regular old visual porn.

    For example, I was looking for something else (I swear!) and found this series of books called “Cum for Uncle” on amazon the other day. (I was actually looking for a sequel to a children’s book my daughter loved, and a series of clicks took me to a bunch of kinky ass erotica! If I were a different person, I’d clutch my pearls and worry about the children!)

    Anyway, clearly, incesty fantasies are not that far out of the norm if porn and erotica are anything to go by. For example, there are plenty of brother/sister porn videos out there, some with the claim of ‘real siblings’ and some that are clearly faked for the kinksters who want that fantasy. There are tons and tons of gay brothers and twin brothers porn videos out there. That appears to be a huge fantasy for many in the gay male crowd. There are also dad/son videos, uncle/son vidoes, aunt/nephew videos, uncle/niece videos, etc, etc. For clarity, I’m not talking about child porn here, the daughters/sons/nieces in these videos are clearly adults, though often younger than the older ‘relative’.

    Now, in lesbian porn, the only sisters or aunts or whatever that you’ll see are in girl/girl porn that is obviously for men. The real lesbian porn never seems to feature sisters.

    I’d be almost willing to say that all the incesty porn is for men, but, again, that “Cum for Uncle” and all the related incesty erotica I stumbled on were all written by women. So, I think the fantasy of incest is clearly something that intrigues a lot of people. And I’d bet that 99% of those people don’t want to feck their own brothers/sisters/aunts/uncles, etc.

    Uh, this clearly doesn’t answer your question about why lesbians are told they look like sisters so often, but I just thought I’d share my porn-watching observations! Because what’s the use of watching so much porn if I can’t tell people what all I’ve learned from watching it! Heh. I should write a blog entry: all the things Leta’s learned from watching porn.

    1. leta, this comment is awesome! and goddermned informative with the added bonus of me NOT having to watch the cum uncle porn to learn from it. lol. and my god, when i think of my uncles…NOPE, NOPE, can’t do it! loool. i think there are fetishes out there for every fantasy you can imagine and not imagine… for example, there’s this GREAT graham norton episode where he talks to this duct tape fetishist. it’s hilarious. anyway, this is an unbelievably informative comment and i’m glad you left it here. the brother/ sister thing skeeves me out, but probably because i have a brother! though, if people – straight couples – are using it for role play, i could see it happening. hell, i know black/ white couples who have done sexual – master/ slave, role play. and no, i’m not kidding. i could never do it, but to each their very own!!! lol. much love, mother

  8. weird, but i guess maybe men like to label lesbians as sisters because a part of them likes two women making out, but the other part that wants to pretend two women together are wrong tries to legalize the affection saying “ah must be sisters”… i dont know Sweet Mom..my expertise in understanding men is super bad…

  9. My blunt two cents is … if you’re sisters, then there’s hope they can get in on the action. If you’re of the lesbian persuasion their cock-dream ends.

    But, that’s just me ;-)

  10. I asked my husband about this, and all he did was quote the TV show “Coupling” at me. “Giant breast octopus” came up, as well as “All the advantages of being a man but with less embarrassing genitals.” Then he just started staring off into space and drooling.

  11. I wrote about this topic a few weeks ago. http://greenmountainmamas.com/2012/05/21/no-were-not-sisters/ I don’t think it’s just men, though: everyone seems to leap to the “sisters” conclusion. My theory (which most of my commenters disagreed with, but which I still believe) , is that many of the people who ask know full well we’re not sisters and are hoping for confirmation for their assumption that we’re lesbians, but are too shy to ask outright: “are you lesbians?” So, they ask, “Are you sisters?” and count on us to correct them.

  12. Reblogged this on greenmountainmamas and commented:
    A few weeks ago, I wrote a post wondering why so many people assume lesbian couples are sisters. Today, Sweet Mother tackles the same issue (with much more humor than I ever could).

  13. I can’t speak directly for others on this but I think there’s a part of the description that’s missing here, SM.
    It’s my understanding that, generally speaking, the hottest fantasy for men in this respect is “identical twin sisters”, and damned HOT ones to boot.
    If that confuses you even more then I apologise, but as far as fantasy goes then (referring to your reply to Madame Weebles earlier) all I would say is “Aw.. Ug..”, grab hair in each hand and head off to the cave. ;)
    Don’t have nightmares….

  14. What do you do when the forbidden fruit has all been eaten?
    50 years ago I’m sure there were some people who fantasized about having sex with nuns or something, that being the least forbidden yet still titillating thing they could think of. Nowadays there’s not that much that is still forbidden so maybe two sisters getting it on together is the new naughty-naughty?

  15. Mr. Weebles got it right: Cuz it’s two girls kissing. Anything that can make a guy hornier is in. I’ll bet even two big fat ugly women, straight or gay, because if nothing else it will remind a guy about the pretty ones doing it. Men just like it, that’s all. When they’re not following their dicks around, they’re mentally following their dicks around. Not that I mind. That’ s just the way it is. Oh, and btw? I do not like nasty references about West Virginians–that’s where my Scottish ancestors ended up, kilts without pants and all.;-)

  16. My partner and I have been together for 13 years, since we were 33, but we dated for a year when we were 19. If I had a dime for every time we were propositioned by men then, it would just be gross. We get the sister thing all the time now, especially as we get older and gained a bit of weight and she let her hair grow.

    We look like fairly “normal” middle-aged moms (we have three sons), so we don’t fit into the sexual fantasies of men so much anymore, but we don’t fit the easiest perceptions of “moms” either, especially when we’re seen together. I think people want to avoid classifying us as lesbians because that might make things difficult for them. They have to decide whether to continue to be polite or friendly with us when often their church or upbringing tells them not to. I’ve found that most people have a hard time being righteous or rude to your face, so they scramble for a ready paradigm that would make things easier for them. Yes, we must be sisters! And, I think some people just lack experience and really believe that if we don’t look like lesbian stereotypes then we must be something else.

  17. I’m a twin, so I’ve firsthand heard about this phenomenon a lot and do not understand. I have no desire to make out with my sister and even less to do it for someone else’s benefit. A male once tried to explain the appeal to me by saying that if one girl is touching herself, that’s hot, and if there are two of her touching themselves, that’s hotter. But – my sister is not me, we are blood relatives, and were fraternal so we don’t even match DNA. I just don’t get it!

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