Sometimes It’s Hard to Know Who’s Right

I’m sitting here, lying in bed, reflecting upon last night.  It was a great evening overall.  Wifesy and I had tickets to the, “Scissor Sisters.”  In particular, I was really looking forward to the concert.

 

Over the past couple of days, I’ve been fighting through a cold and that cold has led to some grogginess and off kilter thinking (see animal videos, lol).  Last night was the best example of my mental wonkiness.  Wifesy and I were in the car on the highway, halfway to the venue, when I said, “Where are the tickets?”  And she said the dreaded, “I thought you brought them.”  That statement did what it does for many people when it comes up.  It caused the rolodex in my brain to instantly flip through all the areas where the tickets might be and within a nanosecond, I knew exactly where they were – on my desk, back at the house.

 

We went back for them, picked ‘em up, are rejoined the flow on the highway.  We got to the concert and had a few drinks.  The band wouldn’t go on for a couple of hours.  At first, all was well.

 

We even saw this guy hanging out in the lounge…

As we enjoyed the scenery, and wandered about, an opening band was playing, “Rye Rye” and she was pretty good.  So, Wifesy and I made our way to the floor.

 

Now, here’s the important thing to know – THE SEATING AT THIS VENUE WAS GENERAL ADMISSION.  General admission.  So, there were no seats, per se, just a massive floor with people standing wherever they liked.

 

We headed to the back of the crowd and danced.  It was fun.  So far, so good.

 

But, Wifesy couldn’t see.  Neither could I for that matter.  We’re both rather short, not like midget short, but definitely too short for general admission and 6’ plus guys standing around us on all sides.  So, we decided to go further up front, so we could see and dance.  Directly in front of us, there were a ton of guys, really big guys.  Wifesy directed me towards the side instead.  We weaved our way through the crowd, eventually landing at the barricade put up near the side of the stage.  It was perfect.  There was dance room, though it was still tight, and we could even see the stage.  All was well, except for one thing…

 

The bitch behind me.

 

I heard her start to mumble something like, “They’d better move through…”

 

And then Wifesy started making up this elaborate story about how we needed to push through to the other side to “see our friends.”  Then she would go, “No, we’re not going to make it through.  Let’s just stay here and we’ll text them.  They’ll be fine.”  The woman behind us kept going, “You need to move through?  Why don’t you move through?!”

 

I didn’t understand what her beef was because the TICKETS WERE GENERAL FECKIN’ ADMISSION and where I come from, when the main act comes on, everyone pushes to the front.  That’s just the way it goes and everyone else makes room.  But, this is Wifesy’s home.  So, I figure she knows.  So, I let her go on with this charade.  We turn around and face the stage.  Wifesy grabs me around the waist and pulls me in tight.  She says, “Ignore her.  The show will start and she’ll loosen up.”

 

This is what the crowd looked like…

 

But, she didn’t loosen up.  She was doing this highly, psycho-aggressive thing where she was purposely putting her chest and knees into my back.  And pushing.  She was alternately pushing on my back and sighing with exasperation.  Mind you, there was enough room for her NOT to do this.

 

In front of us, was a transgender-ish looking woman in football equipment.  Literally.  She had shoulder pads on.  The shoulder pads had been carefully made out of disco ball tiles.  I can not tell you how much I wanted those shoulder pads in that moment, so I could get this crazy-b*tch off my back with just a shrug of my body armor.

 

Now, bottom line, I don’t do well in these situation.  I don’t.  For me, it’s always best to remove myself.  So, I was looking for other ways out.  I looked around for other places we could stand.  But, it was tight, all around.  However, it was not so tight that this woman needed to piggyback me.  Trust.

 

I finally turned around and said, “Look.  We need to call a truce here or something and we need to give each other a couple of inches.  It’s really important that we give each other a couple of inches.”

 

I needed a couple of inches because quite frankly all I could think about was punchin’ her square in the noggin’.

 

Well, this set crazy lady off.  “Why don’t you go stand over there?!” She screamed, pointing somewhere off in the distance.  “Why don’t you go stand with your imaginary friends!!!”  Wifesy chimed in, “Look, our friends ARE over there.  They really are.”

 

I was done with this “friends” charade.  “Look, lady, the show is GENERAL ADMISSION.  Okay, general admission.  So, let’s give each other a couple of inches.  Let’s call a truce, okay?!!”

 

To which the woman replied, “No, you stand here, you’re going to have to do with less space.  Why don’t you go find your imaginary friends!!!”

 

And as I contemplated turning her head into a paper mache version of itself by shredding it, dipping it in boiling water, and then reapplying the strips over a thorn-covered, spherical object to reconstruct her horrible visage, Wifesy grabbed me.

 

“Just ignore her.  The music will start and she’ll loosen up.  We’re in a perfect spot.  If you just ignore her and we stay here, we win.”

 

So, I did my best to do that.  I stayed calm while she shoved a knee, a hand, and her chest, into my back – while around me everyone had elbow room.

 

The show started.  The first song began and surprisingly, she gave me an inch.  Then she gave me another and another.  Finally, I had plenty of room.  And within minutes, all around us packed out with other people who had made their way to the stage.  Mainly short girls, who had done the same as Wifesy and I and pushed their way to the front for the show.

 

It’s hard to know, sometimes, who’s right.  The woman had been there first.  But, when it’s general admission, it’s general admission and in my opinion – you just have to make room.

 

I will never understand, for the life of me, why people act like this.  To me, her behavior was getting upset over nothing.  But, I don’t know, maybe Wifesy and I were wrong in this case?  Maybe WE should’ve moved?

 

Thankfully, in the end, we all just enjoyed the music.

 

But, I am left thinking…sometimes it’s just hard to know.  What do you think?

 

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Photo creds:  Jesse, crowd

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35 thoughts on “Sometimes It’s Hard to Know Who’s Right

  1. I think, in general, most people are out of their friggin’ minds. I try to not associate with many of them, preferring the company of squirrels and old Cheetos’ bags.
    Here’s my advice: next time you attend a concert, wear some gear that makes your back like an electrified fence. That will bring an end to the pushing.

    1. how do i create one of these vests without electrocuting myself? that is the only question. once i have that figured out, i plan to wear mine all the time because i often hate people. maybe i could also have a shooter attached to the vest that zaps peoples’ words too. that would be a humdinger and a best seller, if you ask me…

  2. Damn,,,,where’s the part where you just turned around and lamb basted the b*itch??? cause that’s what I would’ve done and then gotten my little butt escorted out, all the while saying it was sooo worth it hehehe,,,

    1. i hear you. i think the security would’ve been on my side though because what would they have said? ‘we were here first!’ only to have the security guard go — it’s general feckin’ admission. ugh. she was tiresome. i need a pill against people.

  3. FYI: your in LA. Everyone is in the “industry”. They TRY to intimidate verbally so their looks will stay intact. Not like East Coast where you WILL get hit(or bottles thrown). Also, people don’t like to get kicked out of venues. Usually means they can’t go back. No one was right or wrong. It’s general admission. That means you can move about. Next time….don’t forget the tickets. You would have been there earlier.

    1. we were even there on time! even having to go back for the tickets. we got there right at 8. but, we didn’t move up front until the main act came on…like an hour and a half in, so i guess they had been camped out for a while, but so had everyone else around them. but, no one else seemed to care as much as the one woman. even her boyfriend or gay friend, i’m not sure who he was…was like, ‘let it go’ at first. then when i turned around and told her to give me space, he stepped in very slightly. i thought about that later. had he came on anymore aggressively i might have lost it on both of them, but thankfully, he was kind of passive. when wifesy and i talked about it after, she was like, ‘well, that’s l.a. entitlement’ and i thought she meant about the lady. because it’s pretty entitled to me to go, ‘this is my area and my area only’ when a show is general admission. but, wifesy meant us! moving up to the front. i don’t get that at all. and i think wifesy wanted that barricade to lean on because i would’ve moved us some place else, far away from b*tch-c*nty. i think that’s always the best in these situations… the story didn’t really end where i ended it tho. she was all tense behind me after everything. THEN two gay guys started fighting – physically. and i saw them go at it first, they were big guys and only about two feet away. so, i stepped back and said, ‘they’re fighting!’ and kind of warned the beeyatch and her friend. and then she said, ‘ok, truce. i don’t want to fight like that. truce.’ and there’s something about that closure that’s a little bit better somehow… strange, people, we’re all strange…

      1. Been to a lot of places in LA to see concerts….irony…aren’t you there to hear the concert? We get so caught up in this world with being up front. Some of it is culture shock. When I was “younger” I never saw that many fights at concerts. People were cooler. Less drugs? or more naural drugs? Prescription drugs and alcohol makes people crazy!! So I guess if I was there, I would have moved! One thing…never second guess your instinct. Every time I have left some where because I felt unsafe, I was right. Good thing those guys started fighting. They seemed to be a solid reminder of what could happen. Hope they weren’t dating. Got that instinct in NYC. If you don’t feel good there’s no enjoyment. Here’s to short people(like me 5ft 1inch) who don’t have to see everything. I can hear really well and would rather be safe. Can’t wait till you go to the next concert.

  4. One of the many reasons I never went to a concert. I dislike crowds tremendously; everyone loses any gentility they might have possessed..me included. But I think I might have been upset had you pushed in front of me, too. Nah, I know I would have.Maybe she didn’t understand General Admission to mean the same thing as you did. However, if you had apologized and explained that you were short and only wanted to see, I could understand that and give in (after all, I’m 5’8+” so I’m sure I could see over you;-)

    1. see, that’s the thing – where it goes all… who is right and who is wrong? to me, general admission means – anyone can stand anywhere and let’s do so while we all get along. to others it means – camp out early and that space is yours completely. no one can enter it, even though i have no seat and no designated space. that’s where it goes really wonky. we definitely had two VERY different definitions of it. but, in the end, i think you have to meet in the middle somewhere, which is what we did eventually. but, not without a lot of unnecessary tension, in my humble opinion.

  5. I’ve been in these situations and your honey sounds like my hubby — the calm one who stays rational. I, like you, want to turn around and GO OFF on the person who, for whatever reason, wants to be rude/offensive. I don’t fly that much, but it seems that every time I do, there’s always someone kicking my chair and I wonder if life sends these people our way to test our patience — perhaps improve it?

    You know the whole, “the teacher will keep showing up until the lesson is learned…” (in sorts of faces and places). Look at me, getting all deep and stuff.

    Next time, accidentally spill something on said rude one. Maybe that’ll make ’em give more than an inch (or just chant to yourself, IT JUST DOESN’T MATTER, IT JUST DOESN’T MATTER…). :).

    1. i’d say wifesy was calm in that sitch, but she’s also the one that made up a completely fake story about the ‘friends’ and she’s the one who would NOT leave the barricade when i definitely wanted to move away from b*tch territory. so, is that calm? or fanning the flames of the fire? i don’t know. but, she DID stop me from going further with the girl and that was pretty important in the moment. so, there’s that… xo, sm

  6. Oh, Sweet Mother, this reminds me of every experience I’ve ever had at any venue with general admission and standing room only. There’s always a handful of people who get riled up for NOTHING. Once the show starts they’re usually fine but not always (especially if they’ve been drinking). I dunno, those sorts of crowds and environments must bring out some sort of primitive instincts in people. Or maybe they’re just dicks.

    1. i think you’re right. i think there’s something primitive in it like, ‘this is my feckin’ space, don’t trod on my feckin’ space.’ now, if i were to delve further into the psychology, i’d say, me being from new york, i’m used to everyone being in my space all the time. where in la, you’re always in your own little space, you have more room in your house, your car is your own little space, etc… so, maybe, just maybe certain angelenos are more touchy about it? i don’t know, just a theory…

  7. Wifesy sounds like my husband. I tend to freak the eff out and he’s always to one to calm things down. I think more people should stop freakin’ the eff out, especially when it comes to a spot in a general admission show. Geez.

  8. Bygones. That’s how you have to look at it now. Otherwise it will bug you and ruin your day. Or at least impinge upon it. 🙂 But for the record, I think in a crowded venue like that, these things are to be expected, and that woman just needed to accept it and move on, if not literally, then at least emotionally.

    1. loooool. “if not literally, then at least emotionally” – i loved that for some reason. yeah, i’m totally over it, just needed something to write about today and wanted to hear other peoples’ opinions. 😉 and it didn’t hurt my concert experience either. once the show started, everything went well. crazy lady and i even had a truce of sorts. see above in my comment under, madeline donohue’s. i would’ve included it, but i didn’t want the post to go on FOREVER. looool. totally true, don’t sweat the small stuff. that’s the key, about 99% of the time. xo, rubes, xo. sm

  9. Oh… I have got a suggestion- next time in order to not confronting some person as such, get a poly bag hung at your back to your next concert/party/karaoke/blah blah blah- you have got your space, no one would come hit you in the back- you will be having all your inches of space!
    How’z that!? 😀

  10. Oh I hate this! People who purposely elbow/shove/poke really get on my tits. Even worse when it’s halfway through the gig and they’re covered in sweat.

    I have been the ‘other’ person though (not with all the unnecessary touching!) but because I’m short, every time I manage to find a decent spot with a bit of space to breathe where I can see the band – the obligatory 8 foot man and his friends stand smack bang in front of me. I hate that. It’s worse when I’ve been stood in my perfect spot for 2 hours since the doors opened, and then 30 seconds before the band comes on somebody nicks my view. Fuckers.

    But on this occasion, you should have punched her. Hard.

    1. ‘really get on my tits’ bwwwaaaahhhhhaaa, i loved that line. so many things get on my tits, meg! you have no idea. that’s why i need this blog! lol. with this particular woman, it was not a height problem. she was taller than me and wifesy, it was an ‘i was here first’ issue for her. now, of course, like you said, once the concert started in earnest about 10-15 MORE people came and stood in front of all of us and i did not see her go and yell at them. we were just the unfortunate ones who came right before the band started. sigh. i don’t know if we were right or wrong, but i do think the passive aggressive jabs in my back with her elbow were a bit much and i’m proud of myself for at least keeping semi-cool about it. for me, that has taken a lot of work. much love, sm

  11. General admission is general admission. When you’re out on the floor, if you want to be at the front you stand at the front, but if you leave a gap in front of you then you need to expect people to take it, because everyone wants to be as close as possible. Kudos to you and Wifesy for trying to be diplomatic but still standing your ground, because you were totally in the right.

    1. i think so too! but, oddly not everyone agrees… it’s interesting these things… where rules form when the one rule is – there aren’t any! no seats, stand where you like, but then the unspoken rule of ‘we were here first…’ no way. i wasn’t having any of it. glad to hear you agree, savanna. xo, sm

  12. I went and saw Aqua in Melbpurne earlier this year, and hubby and I were in GA, but on the second floor, pushed right up against a barricade type thing. Then these two little boppers litterally crawled BETWEEN both our legs and physically pushed us back.
    This pissed me off to no end, as there clearly wasnt room.
    However, if we were in the Mosh Pit, I would kind of expect it – it is a notoriously squished place. There is an unspoken rule though: you always need to leave room for dancing!
    If we had

  13. I’m short. I empathize! And I think you’re right. Some people are just rude. If you’d taken her seat or something then that would be different but she did not own that space so had no right to try to aggro you out of it. Glad you enjoyed the concert anyway 😀

  14. Sweet mother, there’s some things in this world worth being wrong over. And to me, concerts are one of those things. First, it WAS general admission, and so if that girl couldn’t move you, it was her fault. It doesn’t mean you were wrong or she was wrong. Whenever I go to a concert and get to do general admission, I don’t care who’s in my way. I have to be up front and close. It’s part of the experience for me, while some people don’t like being that close. It sounds as if that girl could have fought HER way through the men instead of trying to get you out of the way. So no one was right.
    In life, we have alot of those situations happening. Even the term ‘right’ is relative though, so I wouldn’t worry about it!
    Xoxo Radium Rollercoaster

  15. oh oh! *that’s what I thought while reading it*

    BUT hey! at least she loosened up! All’s well that ends well right? :p

  16. It’s funny, I kind of agree with both sides of the argument. I’ve definitely waited hours outside a venue to be in the front and then been pissed when others pushed in front of me. But general admission is what it is, so it happens and you have to deal. I also pushed a guy into a mosh pit once, but that was because he kept slamming into me so it was a better place for him. 🙂

    Where did you see the scissor sisters? That show must have been amazing!

  17. You just described my nightmare. I’m midly agoraphobic. Mostly, it only crops up in crowds. Or airplane. I need a window seat so I have all that lovely open space beside me. I thought it was a weird form of claustrophobia. But small spaces don’t bother me. It’s a people thing. Its more common among short people to. I have a theory it is because we can’t see anything around us when we are packed in with a ton of people. Anyway, I would have probably totally lost it on her or just privately wigged out and left.

  18. Something like that happened with me too..i was out with two friends of mine in a mall.. we decided to have coffee in food court… it was crowded…
    there was a huge seating table with a family having dinner…3 seats were empty in their table.. (now the place has tables joined and connected so you can share tables with someone else if they have seats…its the usual routine there..done that so many times)..
    so we placed our shopping bags there and started discussing what to eat and all..so one friend sits there with shopping bags ,…and my other friend and i went to get the coffee and food..finally we are sitting and we are about to start..this girl (part of the family having dinner at the huge table) starts screaming at us and asks us to leave… (we were all confused because we were there discussing our coffee and dinner for a long time time before we ordered…till then no one said a word..one friend was siting there while we were gone to order..no one said a thing to here either)…she was super loud and rude..
    my friend and i asked her to calm down ..but she wouldn’t stop..funny thing, it was like she was there for a long time before she realized she doesn’t want us sharing the table..

    believe me Sweet Mom it was crazy..the woman was weird….she could have just asked us nicely..instead she was “cant you see we are eating..go away..blah blah blah…

  19. This was clearly a situation that called for a fart. Had you floated a couple of stinky air biscuits and perhaps warned Miss Jabby Tits that you ate at Taco Bell before the concert, I’m sure she would have backed up sooner.

    Another approach: if you thought she was straight, you could have just turned around and and said, “Thanks for the rub, Sister! I was hoping for a little piece of action during the show.”

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