Welcome to Part 2 of joke week, an installment that will last 7 days. You can read Part 1, here. In essence, you’ll see 5 original jokes (or more) from me, per post, all week. It’s my way of dealing with feck-blogging syndrome that seems to have broken out over the inter-webs this summer. (Is Summer supposed to be capitalized? Feck, grammar. Feck Summer. Where’s my coffee? Where’s my high paying writer job? Sorry, stream of consciousness got out. She’s a wild animal like that. Okay, let’s move on.)
One of the things I like to do when writing jokes is to try them a couple of different ways. I’m going to do that in today’s post. It’s like writing two different ends to your story. You’ll see those jokes written back to back. So you can judge them. (Damn you.)
It’s also important to note that I like to react to my own jokes in parentheses after I’ve written them. It’s like being a blogger-ish Andrew Dice Clay, but less of an a**hole, and with a rockin’ vag.
Alright, no more messing around. Let’s get started.
Mitt Romney has refused to release his tax returns citing that he just released his dog from the roof of his car. One thing at a time, folks.
The Vatican has stripped the Pontifical Catholic University of Peru of its right to call itself Catholic for their progressive beliefs. Not to be outdone, the Uni stripped the Vatican of its right to call itself learned due to Creationism.
Fred Willard was caught jacking off in an adult theater. Upon arrest, Fred gave the following statement to the news media, “Pee Wee Herman made me do it.”
A very rare brain disorder called, “Alien Hand Syndrome” will cause your hand to act of its own accord. Fred Willard claimed to be suffering from the disorder when prompted to by both his probation officer and his dry cleaner.
United Airlines announced a fare hike for all passengers. Unless, of course, you can fit yourself into your second, carry-on bag.
That concludes today’s verbal jig. Join us tomorrow for more modern, merriment.
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