Yep, I Am Consciously Refusing to Freak Out About My Age…

Today is my birthday.  I am not posting.  I wrote this yesterday and scheduled it to post today because I am crafty like that.  Today, I am old.  I am the same age as Ben Affleck.  In fact, we were born on the exact same day in the same year.  So, while he’s bangin’ his hotsey wife, Jennifer Garner, you can picture me making a sour face because I’m picturing Ben Affleck bangin’ Jennifer Garner and the love making is as bad as the acting was in that movie he did with JLo, Gigli.  (Hey, it’s my berfday and I can picture what I want to.)  I also love a quality run-on sentence.


“God, not like that, Ben. Have you no dignity? Jennifer is not as limber as she appeared to be in, Alias. She-sus Christ. Get it together, man.”

I am also the same age as Sofia Vergara and Cameron Diaz.  Both of these women are also Latina.  So, am I.  I’m a half-breed, a half-Latina.  Who knew Hispanic could look like this, huh?


“I’m only happy when it rains…” Isn’t that a song?

Or this…

We all know it’s supposed to look like this…


I also have the same attitude as another woman who was born only six months before me in the very same county, that being – Queens, New York.  So, when you think of me – think of a gum-snapping, New Yawker, like this one (below) and you’re half way there.


Sweet Mother, a lot like Drea…but, funnier.

So, today Wifesy is taking me somewhere.  I have no idea where as she’s been very secretive about it.  However, I’m very excited about it.  Could it be whitewater rafting?  Disneyland?  Mars?  I hear there are mobile tractors up there now or something.  I don’t frickin’ know where I’m going, but I’m going.


Regardless, I’m very grateful for the distraction, as it stops me from feeling so frickin’ old.


Anyway, on my birthday – since none of us know how long we have left here on this earth – I wanted to say thank you, to all of you.  You have no idea what an inspiration and motivation you have all been for my writing and my creative career going forward.  For that, I am truly grateful.


Therefore, these are for you…

It’s birthday cake for breakfast, bitches!!! Wooohooo.

And on my berfday, it’s cocktails all around…


Sweet Mother is updated daily-ish.  Even in advance, on her feckin’ berfday, now that is effort.  So, make an effort yourself and hit the “follow” button.  Come on, you can do it!  I believe in you!



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Photo creds:

sourface, sofia, cameron, drea, cake, cocktail

56 thoughts on “Yep, I Am Consciously Refusing to Freak Out About My Age…

  1. I’d say Happy Berfday if you weren’t feeling so depressed! So instead it’s Happier Berfday and tons of salt water taffy. There is hope after 39, no matter how many times you celebrate being 39. Besides, it’s not your vessel age; it’s your Inner Child’s (mine’s nine or so and wants a nap).

  2. Happy Birthday Sweet Mother! I loves me some Birthday Cake for breakfast, thanks for sharing. Have yourself the best of times with Wifesy.

  3. Somehow my previous comment submitted itself before I was finished typing. So rude. Anyway, I’ve got a few years on you, and I can tell you that being on the flip side of 40 is actually pretty cool. But you’re still a young’un. Also, I didn’t know you were born in Queens—high five, homegirl. I was born in Manhattan but raised in Queens. And for the record, you’re way hotter than Drea. I’m sure Wifesy is taking you somewhere fantastic today—have a wonderful time, and a wonderful day. Mwah!

  4. Happy Dirthbay Sweetmom! I know the feeling. My big one is looming, looming I tell ya, but I’m clinging to the 30s like nobody’s biz even though it’s 3 months from today. sonabitz. We would be what Anastasia Doo-doo Face Steele would call “old” and that’s why she suckz and we rockz. Enjoy the day!

  5. Happy birthday! Age ain’t nothing but a number. I go with what my heart feels! The knees? They have a different plan. Lol

  6. 40, eh? 40 was my favorite year! I was in the best shape of my life, I had (and still have!) the best sex of my life, was getting ready to commit the rest of my life to my current partner, SO much “good stuff”…ah, what a GREAT year that was! Sweet Mums, what I wish for you is for Year 40 to be as wonderful to you as it was to me! As someone above said, the best IS yet to come! And as we say in my family, “Happy Bird-Doo!”

  7. Happy Birthday! As my step-father says, it’s better than the alternative. 😉

    By the way, I love the song “I’m Only Happy When it Rains” by Garbage. One of my favorite bands.

  8. Aw, happy birthday, SM. I hope your day is fully awesome. And thank you for that incredibly descriptive visual of Ben and Jen. They’re probably trying for a boy. Or do they already have a boy? I’m confused. I’m sleepy.

    Happy happy to you!

  9. Forty is an octagonal number, and as the sum of the first four pentagonal numbers, it is a pentagonal pyramidal number. Adding up some subsets of its divisors (e.g., 1, 4, 5, 10 and 20) gives you 40, so 40 is a semiperfect number. Semi-perfect can’t be a bad thing!
    I’m substantively younger than you as I’m only 34, but I decided to enjoy ageing. I have embraced and now love my grey, which is plentiful. I’m getting used to the lines and the darkness under my eyes and I feel a sense of freedom as I’ve released myself from the expectation of looking as if I were 22 😀

  10. Happy Birthday! P.S. You are young. I only wish I was in the Affleck-Diaz age range…ugh. Now I feel old. Thanks for nothing. I hope you had a good time wherever.

  11. Holy crap, we share a birthday! Have an amazing time with Wifesy wherever she takes you, and I shall think of you while N and I guzzle wine from the local vineyard!

  12. Happy birthday, SM. I don’t really pay much attention to them, but some people do. Can’t wait to hear about where wifesy took you today (assuming it’s any of my got-damned bid-ness).

  13. Happy birthday! Take comfort in the fact that you’ll never be as old as me and that you look just like Cameron Diaz. Only brunette. And funny. And more New Yorkish. But other than that, identical. In fact, I bet Justin Timberlake used to get confused and call out “Sweet Mother!” sometimes in the moment.
    Btw, not a half hour after reading your post on getting freshly pressed again, I got an email that I was going to be freshly pressed. So apparently you look like Cameron Diaz AND you’re magic. Eat you heart out, Justin.

  14. Happy, Happy, Happy… Sent you e-card, too, cuz Hope ur comin East sometime soon! Looking forward to finding out where wifee brought you.
    40 is NO big thing, especially since I was 11 when you came on the scene.
    I love the freedom I have being somewhat comfortable in my curvy covering, hehe! Luv ya lots, Monica

  15. Happy Birthday you old bag….hehehe….I’m older than you so I’d never call you that…but then again, I’m as old as dirt. 😛 Hope you had a great day with wifesy! Hugs and kisses 🙂

  16. Happy b’day Mum! 40 is the milestone at which you must start doing memorable things.

    For me 40 was the milestone on which my friends surprised me with a Porsche Carrera – for one hour. 😀

    The owner-driver showed up in complete chauffeur uniform and even indulged me by dragging off some schmuck at the lights! I’m still smiling.

    I hope for you 40 becomes the milestone when all your work suddenly falls into place and you realise that those years of frustration and effort were all worth it because they lead to >>insert major dream<< coming true.

    Loads of hugs,

  17. Happy Birthday! You were born the day after my dad (and a little over thirty years later). And remember, age and experience will always win out over youth and beauty.

  18. 40 ?! I can’t even remember that far back ! 😦
    (Actually, I can’t remember too much about yesterday either, so….)
    Many Belateds, Momsy. Hope you had a cccoooooooooolllll day. 😀

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