Gay Warnings on Gay Things

Okay, so there’s a douche-donut named, Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association (which is clearly Native American English for “I Hate Gays”) who wants to start producing label warnings against homosexuality.


If you don’t know, in Europe and other locales, the warnings on cigarette boxes are far more graphic and in a much larger font than they are, here, in the States.  This gross-out-fest is apparently supposed to stop people from putting cancer sticks into their mouths.  I don’t think it works, but here’s what it looks like:


Christ on a cracker. You may lose your lunch. Sorry.


Now, Mr. Fischer would like to create similar images to influence people away from the gay.  He does not say where these “warning” labels should appear, he just makes a blanket statement that they should be produced and displayed for the “gay community.”


My guess is that Fischer would like these images to be as graphic as possible.  I’m guessing he’d like to see still shots of ass cancer and HIV lesions, and herpes, and I don’t know – I suppose – some kind of ball fungus.


Remember those photographs of chancre sores your Health Education teacher solemnly walked through the aisles during Sex Ed?  Stuff like this….

You mean if I make-out with Bobby Jones or his sister, Cheryl, I’ll get one of these? Egads.


Did it stop you from sticking your willy in things or rubbing your coin purse across a person of questionable character?  My guess is that they did not.


As such, I’m not sure Fischer’s visions of sugary, anal fissures dancing like gum drops in his head would improve the health of our society.  (Never mind that not every gay person gets HIV, or herpes, or even chicken pox, for that matter.)


If you really wanted to stick warning labels displaying the consequences of homosexuality all over things, well, then you’d have to create images of fabulosity because that seems to be a much more universal consequence of the gay.


We all know the truth – a “gay-deterrent” consisting of a fabulosity poster may have the exact opposite effect on today’s youth, much like cigarettes are for the rebel, the fabulosity poster becomes the recruitment image for the boy or girl on the fence.  It’s not going to stop them.  It will only encourage!


And where, pray tell, should these posters be hung?  By the chimney with care?  I think not.  If you want to “display the gay away,” well, then you’ll have to hang them around gay-ish places.


That fabulous tapas bar you just found?  Thanks to the American Family Association all of its windows are blacked out with posters of Lady Gaga.


That Broadway musical you want to see?  Good luck seeing it through that projected loop of Abercrombie and Fitch images.


That divine boutique hotel you want to stay in by the sea?  Okay, but understand that it’s now covered in a pink warning label for Proseco or another equally bubbly substance.


Yes, Bryan Fischer wants to stop this gay fever by displaying the consequences of gay sex and, as an extension, gay marriage all over the place.  But, he forgets.  The consequences of the gay aren’t just herpes and anal cancer and HIV.  Oh, no.  More than likely…much more common than all of those things, the consequences of the gay are REFINED TASTE, ART, MUSIC, LOVE, DANCE, CULTURE, STYLE, DESIGN, INNOVATION, AND PROBABLY THE CUSTOM-MADE C*CK RING YOU’RE WEARING RIGHT NOW, YOU JACK-HOLE.


Sorry, I lost control of my self there.  I blame the gay.  Another gay consequence is a raging sense of humor.  In that regard, I am guilty as charged.


Much love, Sweet Mother



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Photo creds:

feature, cankersore, cigarettewarning

61 thoughts on “Gay Warnings on Gay Things

  1. RRRROOOOFFFFLLLLL! I’m still waiting for the explanation about how my husband’s and my marriage needs to be defended from the gay…not holding my breath, mind you, just waiting… xoxoM

    1. sometimes people are just too stupid. whatever happened to…”to each their own”? it is lost on these folks, me thinks. welp, it’s good for a laugh anyway. lol. xo, sm

  2. Hmmm, don’t they say the biggest homophobes are the most likely to be hidden homosexuals? Sounds like someone needs to come out of the closet rather than waste time producing asinine warning labels…

    Unbelievable, that’s all I can say. But I believe you served up the perfect “diss.” 🙂

    1. he’s closeted and probably the chick-fil-a guy too. lord, i don’t want them on my side of the fence either though. can we find a special planet for these people instead? preferably one without oxygen? sigh. much love, sm

  3. That poor closeted homosexual. If only he would let his inner tiny dancer out. He must be getting loud inside his head, to make him say such crazy things. Let your tiny dancer out Bryan.

    1. his tiny dancer saw too many fellini films. it’s the only excuse i can think of for a kooky imagination this wild. ay yay yay. i wish a gay child upon him. seriously. xo, sm

  4. I was at the mallt he orther day and was about to buy a darling pair of capri pants for myself, but the warning fag-tag on it frightened me out of the purchase (that and the fact that they made my butt look really look big).

    The upside of all this is that maybe my wife will be scared out of buying yet another pair of sensible shoes and finally get the heels I beg her to wear! Thanks lesbians!

    1. no….to the capris for straight dudes. that’s my final answer. as for the heels issue. i wore them for years, still do on occasion, and they look awesome, but WILL kill your feet eventually. your wife has probably said, ‘feck it’ — i like my feet. and there’s your final answer. loool. or you can agree no socks with sandals for you and she slips on the pumps from time to time. that’s my dr phil advice. loool. much love, sm

  5. Seriously, what is with these right-wing nuts and the bedroom! Will they ever get out? And when have these deterrent ideas ever worked in stopping people from doing what they really wanna do.
    Who am I kidding…Bloomberg is doing it too, with his sugary drinks and breast-feeding campaign.
    Right-wingers are just bringing their A game of being the farthest away from sense. I actually wonder how far they can take this game.

    I could’t help noticing that anal ‘fissure’ and Bryan ‘Fischer’ could be used interchangeably!

    1. ok, the sugary drinks i know about. jon stewart was having a field day with it, but what’s with the breast feeding? please don’t tell me he’s banning tits now because that is just too much. maybe he’s only banning super sized tits? lawd. what is wrong with people. i like the name interchange…i’m just sayin’. much love, moms

  6. If herpes are a gay thing, then all people with herpes are gay. I wonder if they knew they were having gay sex at the time? My first boyfriend had a cold sore. Now I know why he liked me, since at 14, I had the physique of a young boy. IT ALL MAKES SO MUCH SENSE.
    You blow mind every time, SM.

    1. loooool. as long as i can make things ‘clear’. yeah, i don’t know what in the feck he was trying to express by suggesting that, but in the video he referenced there was a shot of a** cancer that will make you forget who you are. literally. it makes my photos, above, look like a walk through the daisies. i know guiliani had colon cancer. i suppose that’s what he gets for being such a gaylord. sigh. momma

  7. I can’t wait for the day he gets to Heaven and while waiting in line, Jesus pulls him aside and says to him, “Haaaaave you met my friend Lucifer?”

  8. I’d like to see warning labels on bibles: “CAUTION: Narrow minds may snap completely shut if these ideas are taken with a hate-filled heart.”

  9. I don’t even think the horrific images on cigarette packs will make a difference. The compulsive smokers won’t scare easy, and the ones who do will just refill their cigarettes in a case. That’s it. You won’t stop people from doing what they want.
    Homosexuality is not a choice. Some people are gay—that’s it. So you have an even lower chance of scaring the leather pants off them.

    1. “scaring the leather pants off them.” bwwaaahhhhhaaa, nearly died, bharat. nearly died laughing. how right you are, on all counts, good sir. much love, sm

      1. ahhhh, you perceptive fellow. i was having all sorts of firefox problems this morning, where it was throwing my entire sidebar under the post itself. i checked my ‘code validator’ thingy and there seemed to be some kind of something awry in the title box. so, i changed it for that reason only. i knew someone was going to think it was because i said the word, ‘fag’ — to which i say, you need to see my act. looool. i will probably change it back if i don’t get to lazy. xoxo, sm

  10. I never heard of this guy so he must be one of those people who have nothing better to do and too much time on his hands. I ignore people like that because there’s plenty others that believe in to each their own and don’t judge. I try not to give folks like this any energy or spotlight for saying things like this ridiculous shite ’cause they’re most certainly not the fabulous ones.

    1. no, they ain’t. and i don’t know how i missed your fabu comment. 😉 because miss it, i did. i think this guy is a toolbox, plain and simple. but, as a person of the humor-persuasion, i like to toy with toolboxes and thus this post. looooool. anyhow, brig, i always love seeing you here. and that was supposed to say anyhoo, but wordpress autocorrected me. now they’re serving as my collogquial judge and jury, i suppose. i’ve never seen that word spelling like that, but again — wordpress! loll. love you, sm

  11. Fischer and his ilk deserve an extra toasty place in Hell, for so many reasons. The only warning needed is a photo of him and a caption that says, “Gentlemen, do NOT have sex with this guy. He’s crazy.”

    1. weebs, seriously! he should have a warning right across his peen. a big one, in black magic marker, only i refuse to be the one to write it there. ewwww. loll. xo, sm

  12. This is one of the most stupid things I ever heard of. How can people be so hateful of something so harmless to the grand scheme of things.

    1. the people who lead this groups really are quite dumb. but, then again, there are people in the current united states who don’t believe in evolution. so, christ, i don’t know what to think. he’s a nut job, in my opinion. sigh. xoxo, sm

      1. EXACTLY. We should take the SPLC list of anti-gay hate-mongers and do a funny page. You’re the funny one, so think about it and I’ll do the rest….

  13. There are so many legitimately dangerous things in our society, so many dangers our children are facing, and yet we’re focused on sexual orientation??? It makes me crazy. Cray. Zeee.

    1. i second the cray-cray it makes me and i’ll add a ‘if this douche-donut keeps it up…i’magonna, i’magonna…’ well, i don’t know what i’m going to do, but go nuts is undoubtedly one option. sigh. much love, ff, much love. sm

  14. I just had a flash of this gay labelling going global. Imagine walking into the Louvre and seeing the Mona Lisa with a gay warning label plastered discretely across a corner somewhere. Leonardo da Vinci was quite prolific so his works alone should use up quite a few labels. And then moving across to Rome we have the Sistine Chapel, Michelangelo’s David and tons more.

    Why in a month we could label at least half of Europe! Gay, all gay. I’m sure that will send all the fence sitters scurrying for heterosexuality….or not. 😀

  15. I like this idea but for different reasons than the asshole that proposed it (REALLY???????). It would certainl lead me straight to all sorts of cool stuff without having to do any legwork of my own.

  16. It’s the 21st Century. The Bryan Fischers of the world are powerless in their futile attempt to turn back time. To quote Queer Nation, “We’re Here! We’re Queer! Get used to it!” If all the LGBT haters would turn their hate into something positive, we would have found the path to world peace by now, or second best, how to eat as much of anything you want without getting fat.

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