Reggie Reader Profile #10 (A MOTHER OF A CAPTION Contest Winner!)

“No woman gets an orgasm from shining the kitchen floor.”

– Betty Friedan

 

There is dirt on my floor right now.  Literally, right under my feet someone tracked in some sort of topsoil.  Was it the dog?   Me or Wifesy?  Who knows.  What I do know is that my bare toes are swishing around in it while I think to myself, “Must write, must write, must write.”  The floor gets cleaned later.  The greedy part of my brain wishes the topsoil were sand on a beach and I had a coconut drink in my hand right now!

 

Anyway, that’s why I included the above quote because of the dirt.  Now, I don’t know what in the feck MS. Friedan was referencing, but I’m going to say it was a feckin’ housecleaning commercial.  And she’s right.  Cleaning a floor is never going to give a woman the big O, unless, of course, she’s on all floors (sorry, all fours) and getting it from her lover while he or she screams, “Shine it!  Shine it!  ‘Cause we Shiney, Happy, People!”  Maybe then.  Maybe then it might be possible to achieve the big O, while achieving a natural shine.  Maybe that woman is also dating Michael Stipe.

 

I included the quote for another reason too.  I included it because it is often the way my next Reggie introduces her posts.  She starts them with a quote, a quote that fits the piece.  And when she can’t find one, she writes something like, “Quotey, quotey, quotey, quote…” – by Anonymous, which makes me like her all the more.

 

The newest Reggie and the MOTHER OF A CAPTION CONTEST, top 3, winning joke writer is…

 

KATHY V of DON’T FORGET TO FEED THE BABY

 

One of these is Kathy…

 

There are many reasons why I like Kathy and her writing.  For one, she’s funny.  For two (can you say “for two” – probably not), her and the hubs were in the Navy.  The Navy was the first place to recognize that me and my comedy stylings should be performing for their organized, away-from-home, super-dooper, troops.  So, I feel that the Navy has good taste.  For three, she calls her baby “Sausage.”  For four, she’s sorta deep.  One minute she comes up with something insanely fun like a million different ways to say douche (my fave is, “Douchey Potter and The Goblet of Douche”) and the next minute she writes a really compelling piece about SAHMs versus working moms and how – no matter which way you go – it’s f’en hard.

 

Never mind that it took me a second to figure out what in the feck an SAHM was…

 

At first I thought it stood for:  “Sweet Angry Harried Madonna.”

 

And then I thought maybe it was like the acronym HALT for alcoholics, but instead this one went:  “Sorry, Anxious, Hungry, Mad,” so give me a beer or I’ll shoot you.

 

Finally, I landed on Stay At Home Moms (SAHMs) because that’s what it actually stands for (in case anyone else out there is as slow to the uptake as me).

 

But, when I talk about deep, really, I’m talking about the post Kathy wrote regarding getting pregnant in Prague.  I thought it was really touching and moving without being overly sentimental.  That’s a really delicate balance, as any writer knows.  It’s a great piece and a sweet little read.

 

Then of course there are the pieces where Kathy is just going through her day ATTEMPTING to write and even those are funny.

 

Surely, those are plenty enough reasons to follow Kathy V.  You can do so HERE.

 

But, if you need one more…

 

She also likes the Muppets.  I don’t know why, but I tend to love people who love the Muppets.

 

So, Kathy, this one’s for you.  It’s just the right mix of sexy and hilarious.  It’s my fave and it’s a classic:

 

 

***

Sweet Mother is updated daily-ish.  If you’d like to receive an email when this blog releases new content, simply hit the follow prompt at the top of the blog.

 

**

You might also like:

The Benefits of Losing

 

*

Photo cred:

Kathy V

 

Advertisements

26 thoughts on “Reggie Reader Profile #10 (A MOTHER OF A CAPTION Contest Winner!)

  1. Sweet Mom, you rock my novelty socks! That Muppets clip is PERFECT. Have I written about my love of musical theater from the 1970’s, or did you just KNOW? Maybe you’re actually Miss Cleo. Or maybe Rita Moreno transcends time, space, and my iPod with her awesomeness. Anyway, thanks for the phenomenal write-up! It’s like being Freshly Pressed, only better, because I didn’t have to sacrifice any goats for it! Hooray!

    1. bwwaaahhhhaaaa. bweeeeeee,heeeeee,heeeeeee. so glad you enjoyed it. it’s getting a bunch of traffic so far and hopefully some of that will push to your blog and get you a new follower or two. sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn’t. only the internet gods know why. it was a blast reading through your blog, so the pleasure is all mine. xo, sm

  2. Love Kathy and have been following her enormous talent, verve, wit and a host of other great adjectives that don’t come to mind right now for months now. She’s gold, good people. And funny as hell.

  3. YAY For K5! (That’s Kathy V, but in a super cool texty sort of way. It’s a roman numeral, y’see). Anywaaaaaaay…..
    Could you link the the caption contest? Or her caption? Or just tell me? Are you actually gunna make me go looking for it?
    Fairy blogmother suits you.

  4. So you know the Douche post? WE have a game in Australia called the MOOT game. MOOT is another word for vagina and you have to change one word in a movie title to MOOT. After you give your MOOT offering you have to laugh like a cer-ay-zee doll, all high pitched and squaky.
    Harry Potter and the Chamber of MOOT
    Harry Potter and the MOOT of secrets
    MOOT over the River Kwai
    Bridge over the River MOOT

    It is endless fun and you never run out of amusing movies .I hope I have brightened your day.
    Congratulations Kathy.
    Portia xx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s