I Don’t Understand Instagram…And Winners Announced…

Morning, fellow bloggamites.  Hold tight to your hats because at the bottom of this post I’m going to announce some more Mother of a Caption Contest Winners, Part 2.


But, before I get into that, I want to talk about something else.  There was a time when I did NOT understand the benefit of Linkedin.  In fact, I wrote a whole post about it here.  I lambasted it.  I skewered it.  I mocked it and yet, now, somehow, I have married it.  By that I mean, I have come to love it.  Let me explain.  I hated Linkedin.  Then I wrote about it on here and like a question asked to the gods, it was answered, and at least momentarily, I understood.  Some of you explained the advantages of Linkedin to me.  Some of you even opened up your profiles to me.  I perused them and from there I learned how to improve my own.  My Linkedin is now a spiffy new diamond in the rough and I’m not going to say it gets me jobs, but I will say it gets more “views” and that has got to be something.


So, I figured I’d do the same with Instagram.  I want to throw it out to the readers of Sweet Mother.  I want to see if anyone has any useful ideas for it or is it just a mind-blowing, time-suck?


I know Instagram can do this…

Make my foot look like it’s in the year 1977…

Make my dog look like she’s older than she is…You know, like Clint Eastwood old.

It can also make my blog look like something important that was found in a time capsule…

Lastly, it can make the super weird bright moon (there was some scientific reason for it) look even more awesomely super-weird.


I know it can do all this, but -like all things- just what in the feck can it do for me?


Once your photo goes up on to the Instagram, as far as I’m concerned, it’s in the “matrix.”  I’ve tried to find it again using webstagram and all I ended up with was a headache-stagram.


So, what about you guys?  What do you use it for and why in the hell do you find it useful?  And is there any benefit other than a funky filter for my photos?  Help, please, help.  Momma is lost.


Okay, that’s that.  Now, for issue #2 at hand…


The Winners from the Mother of a Caption Contest #2:


First things first, here was the mighty picture that many, many folks captioned.  The prizes are either a Reggie profile or my comedy CD to the top 3 best joke writers.


The photo…


And the winners are…


“Cosmetic surgery under the Romney-Ryan Plan.”  — Allan G. Smorra


“Redneck facelift.”  — Saradraws


“He said he was in a band…”  — Fabulous Mommy


Okay, people, these were seriously hard to only pick three winners for.  Some of you were very, VERY, close.  Who knew your jokes would get better and better?  Another caption contest will be coming up sometime this week.  So, look for that very soon.


Winners, please let me know if you want a Reggie Profile or the CD in the comments section.  Sara, you’ve already done a Reggie, so if you don’t want the CD, we’ll have to figure out a super-fun alternative.


Everyone else, as always, thanks for reading.


Much love,




Sweet Mother is updated daily-ish.  If you’d like to follow this blog, you can click the “follow” link at the top of the page.



Photo credits:  All photos are Sweet Mother’s with the exception of rubberband-man

57 thoughts on “I Don’t Understand Instagram…And Winners Announced…

    1. As for instagram, I found it to be a nice little toy, but ultimately, it doesn’t do much for me. I wouldn’t go so far as to delete the app, but, then again, I never throw anything out.

  1. Let’s see… I love Instagram, mostly because I’m obsessed with taking pictures of my food and my baby, and subjecting people to it. You can link it to your Twitter or Facebook (or other social account) so that it’s kind of like just posting a pic there.

    I also use to gather like-minded folks. For example, I tag my clean food eating with #whole30, and I’m then connected to the other people who also are doing the whole30 cleanse while I am, and taking obsessive pics of their food. It is fun. And sometimes helpful.

    Also, I follow some people like Tyler Florence, who will often post “how to” pictures. Like, how to bake a fruit tart, step by step with pics. I enjoy that.

    I’m not going to lie though… It is a time-sucka…

    If you’re on there though, I’d love to be friends! @sturjlite

    lol see what I’m eating today!

    1. i knew it. it’s a time-sucka! lool. i’ll definitely follow you on there…whenever i can get my tired little hands to actually visit instagram again. lol. i will say, i think you use it as something that’s beneficial and probably the way it’s intended… i can’t get it together enough to… much love, sm

  2. I hated instagram when it first came out.
    I’m notoriously stubborn to new technologies and still lugged a 1983 Pentax Super ME, a mock-up Holga, AND my digital Nikon with me on each adventure to do exactly what Instagram does with the filters.
    It was expensive as shit to get the film developed.
    Now, I take pics with my damn phone, and I don’t have to take all the freaking cameras.

    1. you know, YOU are an example of someone who i think uses instagram well. but, maybe that’s because you know what you’re doing? photograpically speaking? is that a word? i don’t know, but it says what momma wants… lool. xo, sm

  3. Great captions…made me snort my coffee out my nose! I’m still baffled by social media: LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest…you name it, I don’t get it. To me, it all seems to be filling a need I haven’t discovered yet. xoxoM

  4. Congrats to all the winners! Really funny captions! My favorite is Fabulous Mommy’s.
    The contest is only getting better!
    As for Instagram, I didn’t even bother to download the app. That says a lot about my general state of apathy these days!

  5. I use instagram to take artsy, writing-related photos. Most of the people who follow me don’t follow my blog, my twitter, or my facebook author page so it’s just another avenue to spread the word about my novel.

  6. I don’t get instagram, either. My phone is a droid so it didn’t come out until long after the Iphone app but, it doesn’t seem to have any of the same features. Like you I took a couple of pictures of inoffensive stuff and tried the filters. People followed me. Why? I don’t get it.

  7. A friend’s son introduced me to Instagram and a cool photo format add-on Diptic earlier this year. It was fun for about five minutes. Then their billion dollar baby buyout happened, and frankly, I completely lost interest. It seemed frivolous and wasteful in a thousand new ways. So, I dropped it. Same with my brief interlude with FB. LinkedIn – is now pretty much the same. I’ve done a couple of posts about my choice to join the ranks of the anti-social network. Funny – 🙂

    1. i like linkedin now because i find it to be a good digital way to distribute my ‘cyber portfolio.’ can’t say people clamor towards you with job offers though, but i do think if you do it right, people will look twice… and i didn’t think that before. seriously. xo, sm

  8. I’m going to embarrass myself and admit I don’t know what Instagram is. But I am on LinkedIn. I have about five connections. Because I totally neglect it. But your post has inspired me. I better up my game.

    1. lol – I’ve been reading the comments hoping I could work out what this Instagram was too! I was imagining something like a Gorillagram but with pictures. Ditto on LinkedIn – was fun for a while but blogging is better. 😀

      1. I haven’t logged in weeks. To be honest I don’t think LinkedIn is really that great for writers. Yes, some of the marketing threads were informative but I’ve learned far more from sites like Indies Unlimited.

        So what’s happening over on LinkedIn? Some new flame war?

      2. Oh! Well I wouldn’t worry too much. I think LinkedIn is great for sharing certain kinds of info – and maybe for looking for work in other fields – but all of the writers seem to be talking to each other instead of talking to /readers/.

  9. Yeeha! Thanks Moms.

    This is really cool. I’d love a Reggie but my little mommy blog is still in it’s infancy and I’m rather self concious. I could use the traffic though. Hmm

    Decisions, desicions.

  10. I want to understand Instagram, I really do. But I don’t. Since 99% of the pictures I take are of my baby, I think it’s dumb to put a filter on them and make them look like she was born the same year I was.

  11. Not to sound too out of touch, but though I’ve heard the term “Instagram” I have no idea what it is. If it’s some sort of photo enhancement thing, I’ll pass on it for now. I have a tough enough time trying to get folks to read my dopey blog, let alone look at antique looking pics of the grandkids!

    As for LinkedIn, though I’m on it, I have yet to see the purpose. It seems like Facebook for business people. My problem with that is that I don’t really need to network with my professional community. Also, my professional community is not necessarily connected with my wise-ass blogging persona. I’m not sure how I feel about wheelchair representatives reading my attempts at creative writing and humor. By the same token, I’m almost positive that most of my blog readers really give a hoot about trends in managed Medicaid denials of letters of medical necessity for powered mobility (I know, you’re all SALIVATING!).

    Congrats to the winners! While I’m disappointed at not winning, at least I don’t have to choose a prize.

    Damn these is some sour grapes!

    1. 1point, some of yours were sooooooooo close. i’m telling you, it was really hard to pick. i hear you about linkedin. honestly, if my blogging wasn’t so closely related to everything else i do – comedy, writing, etc – i’m not sure i’d be on fb or linkedin at all. well, maybe linkedin for work, but probably not fb. and when i deleted my myspace account way back when, i can not tell you how much joy it brought me…almost illegal amounts of joy… xo, sm

  12. First, I’d like to thank Sweet Mother for the award. And Le Clown, who has always stood by me. And my kids who taught me how to laugh, because if I don’t I’ll cry until I die of dehydration.

    Regarding my prize…I am excited about the CD, but now I am intrigued by this “alternative” of which you speak. I didn’t even know there was going to be a choice. Would you come to Montreal and get me drunk? ‘Cuz that seems like the best prize ever. Barring that, maybe a signed Instagram photo of your foot? SO MANY OPTIONS. How about you surprise me. I love surprises.

    Lastly, on Instagram: I think it’s a bit boring. I liked Hipstamatic WAY more because there’s many “lenses”, “films”, and borders from which to choose. Instagram seems limited, but does give mundane photos some punch. If you’re not a big picture taker, though, then I can’t see why it would matter to you. These are my thoughts. Cherish them.

  13. Congrats to all the winners! Those were all completely worthy. If I won, I would totally take your comedy CD giving up hundreds of new blog readers for the opportunity to hear you live and in person (keep that in mind just in case I ever get the nads to actually enter).

    Love LinkedIn – I have two profiles one under my writers name which isn’t my real name which I can’t use because if my very Rethug Tea Bag wearing clients ever found out what I really thought of them by reading my blog, well it is unlikely I would ever work again. The other under my real name, which is where I get about 60% of my jobs, as a freelance IT project manager this is pretty important to me.

    Never have used Instagram – why would I want to change what things look like? Besides, most of those who actually love me would also think it hysterically funny to traumatize me by making me look older than Methuselah using the app to take secret pictures of me and then living them in places I would be sure to find. Given that I will be 55 in a couple of weeks, I don’t need any shocks.

      1. looool. you make a good point. instagram must be a device for the very very young. those whippersnappers with their teenage looks looking to age themselves up to a blindingly old 30 years of age!!! whaaaaaaat! i just fell down. i’m with you on linkedin. NOW. i wasn’t, i’ll tell you. but, i got schooled – in a good way – by a couple of cool people on here and now i use it MUCH more. and, lastly, you don’t look a day over 35. xo, sm

  14. “Cosmetic surgery under the Romney-Ryan Plan.” was the one that made me lmao, but the others are worthy winners too.
    I keep meaning to make a note of your email addy whenever it appears so that I can send you a piccy you might like to use for a caption comp, but then I always forget and can’t be assed to trawl through them all to find it. Could you be a darling SM and put it as a reply to this so that I have it for all time? Pretty, please?
    Oh, and What-agram????

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