The Language of Sweet Mother

So, I’m inching towards my goal, here.  365 consecutive posts.  I’m going to cut out any posts that didn’t involve a decent amount or writing, so any “I’m not blogging today” posts that only include a picture or any “Mother of a Caption Contest” posts will be excluded.  That means, I’ll probably take this assignment up until about 400 posts where I will declare the project completed.  I believe that this should happen sometime around February.  Maybe the end of February.  What’s amazing to me is how fast almost a year has gone.  I have way over 200 posts in my archives and around 932 followers (I’m dying to get that number up to the coveted 1,000.).

 

What has been interesting to me is to really go back and look at my old posts.  Some are great and some are terrible.  Lol.  What I like, though, is that the blog has really become a virtual portfolio of interesting writing for me.  It has helped me secure a series of different jobs and of that I’m very proud.

 

The other interesting thing is the “language” that has developed.  Literally, I find that I enjoy making up words or just going with the feeling of a certain post and inserting any word that seems to fit the mood.  The new word (or misused one) may be right or wrong or crass or just, plain, more descriptive.  This is NOT something I set out to do initially, but it is something that has definitely evolved organically over the course of this blog and it’s definitely an aspect of it that I enjoy.

 

I’ve decided to put together a glossary of sorts.  It consists of the new “terms” that I think this blog has produced, alongside their definitions.

 

What do you think?  Have I missed any?  And do you find yourself doing a version of this on your blog too?  Interesting, isn’t it?  That natural creation of new language in this medium.  Did it all happen naturally for you or was it a conscious decision?  As always, Sweet Mother wants to know…

 

Sweet Mother:  The Glossary

 

Gayby – a baby made by two gays with the help of a “friend” or science or both.

 

Gay dad holding his beautiful gayby.

 

Straightby – a baby made by two straights with the help of tequila.  (Okay, fine…or sober, even.  Maybe, if you’re madly in love like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.  Wait…)

 

Sweet Mother – me.  Well, actually it’s my alter ego.  She’ll comfort you when you need it, but she’ll also give it to you nice and straight even if it stings, like any good mother would.

 

Wifesy – my better half.

 

The lodge – the wood roofed apartment place where we live.

 

feck – something I say constantly.  It just feels good to say and yet one simple letter substitution makes me seem less crass.  Or does it?  I think it’s a small price to pay.  (If for some reason, you’re a bit slow today – the real word rhymes with buck.)

 

Sweet Mother Fecker – Wifesy.  I can’t take credit.  (Portia, you started this.)  😉

 

vag-tastic – anything that’s magical.

 

Lez Luther – the male counterpart to the fag hag.

 

Blog to Book Deal – the gross delusion we are all a part of.  “No, but really…it could happen!  Goddermn it.  And if it does happen that would be vag-tastic.”

 

Goddermn it – see feck.

 

Always wait for the after-pee – it’s the new, “Stop and smell the roses.”  Life is too short, why get up from the commode when there’s still more to release?

 

Andy Murray Syndrome – when you feel like you’ve been trudging along at something and there’s just no win in sight.  But, then…you go on to win both the Olympics and the feckin’ US Open!

 

She-Sus Christ – like Jesus, but a lady.  (Hey, no one knows.  I could be feckin’ right.)

 

Yoga Rage – when you stretch past the point of zen and land firmly in the point of rage.

 

Vag – any emotion.  anything to do with Oprah.  A lady’s secret, velvet garden.

 

Fleshy coin-purse – see vag.

 

…like this, only real.

 

Dangler – a man.

 

glogger – a gay blogger.

 

Canadica – a really cool f’en blog made up of American and Canadian bloggers.

 

***

Sweet Mother is updated daily-ish.  You can follow this blog by clicking the “follow” button at the top of the page.

 

**

You might also like:

Old Sayings, Modernized

 

*

Photo creds:

coin-purse, gaydad

 

Advertisements

25 thoughts on “The Language of Sweet Mother

    1. in socal, (southern california) everyone calls themselves a lady. the women and the men. alright the gay men. and the lesbos are for the most part – lipsticks – so they all want to be called, “ladies” it’s redunkulous. i can not keep up! and i heart you, portia.

  1. You forgot “butt tards” and “amazeballs”–two sayings that I now say all the time. I was inspired to create new words from my Fifty Shats of Craptwats experience, craptwats being the top new word.

  2. It is surprising how often I have found your vocabulary slipping into mine lately. Someone always says, “What did you say?”. Now I have a SM Glossary of terms for them to read.

  3. I’m glad for the glossary. I just jumped into reading without proper reference. I mostly guessed right. I love the “Lodge” – I call my place the “Stone House” – sounds all hoity toity, but it’s really just a big pile of rocks.

  4. lol – you forgot ‘reggie’ or is that one mainstream by now? I admit I sometimes can’t tell which of your words is a SweetMother-ism and which is just something mainstream I haven’t come across before. Either way they’re FUN!

  5. I’m late! Have always loved Yoga Rage and feck, I say that out loud sometimes. Coin purse CRACKS ME UP. And vag (a lady’s secret velvet garden). You’re hysterical and your Sweet Moms dialect is priceless.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s