The Doing It, Everyday…

There’s a story about Stephen King that I love.  He was living in Maine with his wife.  He was writing, constantly writing, and teaching school on the side to make ends meet.  They were dirt poor.  King wrote the entire manuscript for Carrie, hated it, and threw it into the garbage.  His wife, when cleaning up one day, fished it out of the trash and read it.  She loved it and encouraged Stephen to submit it.  He did and it was the first, big, thing that he ever sold.


Something tells me, sh*t’s about to go south…


I’m not 100% sure why that story comes to mind this morning.  I don’t have a brilliant manuscript in the trash.  In fact, my last “book” – the one before my gayby project – was hilarious for all the wrong reasons.  I should’ve left it in the trash.  There was about one solid chapter there…and yet, I wrote twenty of them.  Ugh.


I think it comes up because I love “success” stories.  I love, positive, they were “slugging it out in the mud pile” before they came up with anything resembling a hit.  Most of us can relate to that.


I mean, what is blogging if not slugging it out?  Everyday, you dig in and try to produce content that has some meaning.  You try to find a point or a common chord that will resonate and connect.  Some days, I just post anything hoping one person will like it.  Sometimes I post things where my blogging wunderkinds (all of you) can serve as an informal testing group.  Sometimes I write things just for me.


So, what’s my point here?


I think my point is perseverance.  Perseverance, however that manifests for you is well worth it.  There’s something noble in the pursuit of doing one thing, consistently, everyday.  Whether it be working out, or writing, or filmmaking, or learning a new language, returning to something over and over has value.


Yet, there may be a backlash.


Back it up! S&M Barbie doesn’t want you to outshine her!


When Wifesy and I started our juice fast way back when, it almost seemed to make some people angry.  “You’re not going to eat?  What’s wrong with you?” they silently scolded through their furrowed brows.


Christ, it’s not like we said we weren’t going to eat FOREVER.  That’s when I realized it – setting a goal and keeping it brings out the vampires in other people.  Whenever you set a goal and stick with it, some people are going to get very angry.  They’re going to see your commitment as the mirror held up in front of their lack of trying.


I’m not guilt-free in this regard.  I remember this one guy, a comedian, who was a health conscious freak.  I liked him.  He’s a cool cat.  BUT, he did always come off slightly uptight to me.  Maybe I saw him as uptight because he was regimented, I don’t know.  Maybe he WAS just uptight.  But, I will say he was committed.  Committed to eating well.  To make matters more difficult, he was a touring comic, which meant he was on the road most of the year.  And yet, he had safe guards built in.  For example, he had a book with every Whole Foods in the United States listed in it.  That way, if he was in bum-feck Idaho, he could find a Whole Foods within driving distance and save himself from a lifetime of fast food.  I can’t even imagine the extra planning that must’ve took.  “Let’s see.  Get to the town early.  Check-in to hotel.  Then drive another 50 miles to find the Whole Foods to stock up on healthy foods for the duration of the trip.  Drive back to hotel…etc., etc.”  In an odd way, I resented Whole Foods guy.  I truly did.  I thought, “What an a-hole.  Here he is making all this money touring and he’s also got to keep entirely fit while on the road?  What a jerk.”


What a jerk?  Sounds like I was the jerk.  Whole Foods was my mirror.


The truth is, I’ve always enjoyed and gravitated towards people who have incredibly strong work ethics.  There was the wrestler I just loved in high school because he would jog to school everyday – over a mile – in a plastic suit to make his weight limit.  Then he would study so hard that he never went out and almost always fell asleep with a book across his face.  Isn’t it interesting that we’re often attracted to (or annoyed by) the people we actually want to be??!!


The whole thing might be easier if we just became who we truly wanted to be.  This blog has been a very big lesson in that for me.  Do it.  And do it everyday.  Here, at Sweet Mother, the “doing it” is the writing.


What’s interesting to me is that in the beginning of my goal – some people were actually put off by the fact that I was going to blog everyday.  When I missed a day, I actually had one person say, in all seriousness, “Don’t you have to start over?  Now that you’ve missed a day?”


Are you kidding me?  I’m making the rules here.  I ignored the affront, but what I should’ve said was, “Why?  Is there some part of YOU that wants to write everyday?  If you want to, well, then you should just do it…”


The commitment alone will reap huge benefits.



Sweet Mother is updated daily-ish.  If you’d like to follow this blog, you can do so by clicking the “follow” button at the top of the page.
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Photo creds:

Carrie, Bondage-Barbie, feature


63 thoughts on “The Doing It, Everyday…

    1. it must be the ‘momma quality’. looool. i feel like we all need it, the support or something. i feel like, if i’m feeling it, we must all be feeling it. i suppose maybe that’s why. but, lawd, girl, you inspire me all the time. i told you how i had a very failed experiment about two blogs before this one called, ‘bilingual blog’, right? well, let’s just say, i couldn’t cut it… loool. your album will happen. of that, i have no doubt. and i can’t wait to hear it when it does. xo, sm

      1. Thank you. I’m working really hard at it! It’s been “in the works” for quite some time, but if things keep going the way they are, it will be done by the end of the year. I’m also pretty excited about the project that’s going to start when this album is done. I hope it all happens and even more than that I hope I can maintain the inspiration this post brought me and keep doing it everyday (the practicing, that is). Sometimes it’s hard to find the motivation to work at something when improvement is hard to measure…

      2. oooooooohhhh, shannon, how true that is. how true that is. blind faith may be the only right term for it. blind faith. so, keep pressing on and i will do so too. if i don’t i’ll go crazy. i think. 😉 sm

  1. I am always in awe of your perseverance. You’re one of the reasons I continue to write at all and I needed to read this today after posting for myself and then feeling bad about it. Muah!

    1. la la, everything i have read of yours i have enjoyed. we are our own worst critics, always remember that. and thank you for the kind words. if someone of your caliber is inspired by my stuff (or at least by my quantity of stuff. lol.), well, i find that very humbling, indeed. much love, sm

  2. The thing with success stories is framing them correctly. Mine is:
    I had nothing (I was a sperm) then I worked REALLY HARD (and fertilized an ovum) then I was fabulously wealthy (my family was rich) then I worked even harder and travelled the globe (went to the gym and had a lot of sex in different continents) and I got even richer (got married to a rich guy). Omit the parentheses and I’m huge success story 😀

  3. lol – I’m sure there’s a difference between being committed to something and being obsessive about it! Then again maybe you have to be obsessive to ‘succeed’ in life. -sigh- I am /never/ gonna make it…. 😉

  4. I’ve read so many great things about Stephen King (one about him sitting in his laundry room tapping out a short story that eventually make him a zillion dollars) balancing a typewriter on his knees to do it. I admire you for posting every day, I don’t know how you do it, but you do. You are right — perseverance and never giving up (despite what people say) always pays off.

    (I was FP’d again, becks — thought you’d want to know). We are in the same club now — glad I’m in such fine company. ;).

    Been following you for a while now and you’ve made me laugh, reflect and think — so thank you. You are good people.

    1. YOU are someone who works extremely hard at this and SEE it pays. at least i think being fp’d twice is a pretty decent payback for our oodles of free blogging. can’t wait to read the piece. (and i think you are good people too…) much love, sm

      1. you must. we both must. but, if i utter one more word along these lines i think oprah and iyanla are going to appear before me, begging me to get a hold of myself and my ladyparts. so, i’m going to do that now. lol. 😉 sm

  5. Love S&M Barbie.

    I don’t like to set goals. I exercise, but not every day. I don’t eat right, but don’t let anyone know. Telling people your goals, that is the issue. Just don’t tell people want you’re doing, that way they don’t cut on you for having a goal.

    1. i feckin’ tell everybody everything like an idiot! honestly, i should keep some things to myself. and i do, obviously, or i wouldn’t have a wifesy. but, when it comes to the goals i’m setting and doing, for some reason i have to talk about them as if they were coming out like violent vomit. is that too much? maybe. sigh. not sure why i’m always compelled to do so, but -alas- i am. s&m barbie is unfeckinbelievable…and it seems the best people noticed her. 😉 xo, sm

      1. I tend to tell people too much too. I’m learning to curb that urge. lol. Important things, though, like my writing, I don’t tell people as a rule.

        Where ever did y ou find that barbie?

    1. i don’t know…she outsells me, but people do say i tend to be less ‘plastic.’ awwww, shit, yeah, i said it! i’ll be in the bathroom slamming my head against the toilet bowl now. xo, sm

  6. Every time I postpone writing or trash what I’ve written, afraid of failing completely, I remind myself that there are people like SM slogging away, each and every day!

  7. Moms, this was just the boost I think we all need at one point or another. Also, I totally know what you mean about getting annoyed with people who actually meet or exceed their goals. Jealousy is really underrated as poison. Great post.

  8. This was really good. Like, really, really good. How about comedian/inspirational writer? I can fully understand the nay-Sayers. Every once in a while I’ll go to the bar cause I just want to some of my old friends, and there’s nowhere else to get a fried taco. Often people will come up to me and ask “what are you doing here?” Or they justify there drinking by saying “They drank in the Bible you know.” Little do they know that I don’t care. I could care less what they do. I wonder now if maybe they would rather not be out drinking, maybe doing something else.

    And Stephen King is amazing on so many different levels. He wrote his memoirs called On Writing. He started it before his accident and finished it after it. He finished it by hand, like writing it out on yellow legal pad. I believe that’s how he may write all of his books since then.

    1. brother jon, your comment stayed with me for all of last night. so, thank you for that. and for your kind words. as for the drinking thing – oh lawd, i like me some booze. BUT, i have this thing where i like to know that i have control over ‘things’ and they don’t have control over me. so, every now and then, i quit just about everything for a time, to make sure i can. i did that with alcohol over a month long period. it was the christmas season in new york and everyone, i mean everyone, was drinking. i still went to the parties. what i was amazed by was that people were drunk. i mean really drunk. i had never noticed it before because when you have a few cocktails in you – YOU DON’T NOTICE! it was a crazy revelation to me. the other revelation was that when you are not drinking (or not doing other things that society considers the ‘norm’) people become like heroin pushers. i mean people were really pushing me to drink. in a way they never did before. so, i can totally imagine what you must go through. and that’s the thing. you’re not imposing what you’re doing on them, yet, somehow it bothers them. it’s so interesting. so interesting. anyway, i could go on and on. as for king’s ‘on writing’ – i’ve read it and loved it. i thought it was one of the most realistic accident descriptions i’d ever read, but then in the same way – it had a grotesque energy to it that was very “king-like.” it was a cool read. much love, sm

      1. No problem. About the going out, it’s coming to a point where most people are nonchalant about it, which I prefer. Most of the conversations go “You still on the wagon?” Yep “I’ll drink to that!” and then we go about our business. I prefer it this way. I didn’t change my life to make you uncomfortable, I changed it to make me more comfortable. I didn’t go out for a good three months after I quit. Now it’s all good, and it is very interesting to see what everyone else is like when you’re sober. Some people walk away, but other embrace it, those are the ones I enjoy.

      2. “I didn’t change my life to make you uncomfortable, I changed it to make me more comfortable.” – i’d say you are pretty inspirational yourself, my dear friend. 😉

  9. I’m not so surprised, I hardly know you but I get the feeling doing stuff is not hard for you. Or is it the starting you find hard? Who cares? I’m just glad you do it. I enjoy every post and feel like you send YOU through the keyboard. Thanks,
    Portia xx

    1. honestly, portia, people like YOU keep me going. seriously. i think the hard part for me is the ideas. once i have the idea, i can write. but, it’s the idea that i sit with for too long, sometimes. and then at other times i throw any type of shit out of there like a monkey flinging her goods at the tourists. i don’t know. i just hope to do something of value, that gets recognized. one day, one day. but, believe me, this blogging thing is valuable to me, in a very big way. and i’m grateful for the little audience here, filled with superstars like you. much love, mother

  10. Your posts are inspiring, thought-provoking, hysterical, fun…. The list could go on, but writers are told not to do laundry lists. 🙂

    The fact that you’re being yourself rather than trying to meet someone else’s perceptions has a lot to do with that.

    So keep up the good work! 🙂

  11. brilliant you are. I did a juice fast recently and my partner became a vampire about it, I think you nailed it on the head as to why…i couldn’t figure it out before. True, I would hate Whole Foods guy too, but the striving to be Whole Foods guy I heart.

    1. “but the striving to be the Whole Foods guy I heart.” Oh, we are kindred spirits, kindred spirits, Christine. That’s exactly it for me. I had to sit with why I was so annoyed by a guy that was in essence doing the good/ right thing and that’s when i realized we all have a bit of a vampire within. it’s what stops us from achieving sometimes, i think. much love, sm

  12. It’s worth noting that anyone can write a blog post every day. Writing an interesting, funny, “worth-reading” post every day is another story entirely. To the best of my knowledge, you’re succeeding at the latter, and that aint chopped liver.

    Most of us are lucky just being able to come up with a mediocre caption for a photo contest once or twice in a month.

    1. oh, i don’t know. some of my youtube posts are questionable and i wrote a dreadful one that was trying to be a mashup of two different tv sitcoms. after writing them (and posting them) – i was like, wtf??!! lool. but, i do think most of the time, i can come up with something decent. most of the time, but not always. and it ain’t easy. as we all know. but, from what i’ve seen of your blog, you seem to be doing pretty alright yourself. xo, sm

  13. Maybe Whole Foods guy was hungry all the time. Starvation and vitamin deficiency may be a greater motivator. I think to persevere to write daily, win a gold medal every 4 yrs or become President can only happen with the perseverance daily. Nice inspiration!

  14. Even if I had the time to post everyday, I don’t know if I would because I’m kind of lazy and writing something meaningful everyday is hard work. I admire you and on some days hate you for that. My mentor and my migraine, rolled into one. xo

    1. “my mentor and my migraine, rolled into one.” sentences like this one are why i love you. you had me rolling, just rolling with laughter. you are another one, imho, wendy, who is completely genuine and that’s why when i do get to read your stuff, i usually really, really enjoy it. but, i hear you, all of this bull-malarkey is wooooooork. xoxo, sm

  15. My jukebox is my second blog (the other one is so ignored, it doesn’t even qualify as a red-headed stepchild), and I set it up so that I could write a post every day. One day, one song. It’s one of the few things I’ve become disciplined about.

    On a semi-related note, where can I get an S&M Barbie. That is the most awesome Barbie ever!

    1. i think from what i could discern in the pic…someone took a barbie and made that little s and m outfit for her. it’s quite ingenious, actually. the doing it, everyday. honestly, that’s the key thing. and i know how hard it is, so i truly commend you for it. much love, sm

    1. nope, we are right on target. there seems to be a ‘hold up’ with le clown’s post. he is set to go this week. but, usually that happens by wednesday, so if i don’t hear from him or if we can’t do it, we’ll unfortunately have to skip him and head to brad next. xoxo, beck

  16. I admire your commitment to posting every day. My commitment is to blog three days a week, and usually I can manage that. I can’t imaging pulling off a daily post like you do, and especially pulling off an interesting, often hilarious daily post like you do. My experience is that the more I write, the more I have to write, and the more I want to write. There’s something to be said for flexing those writing muscles every day.

  17. “Whenever you set a goal and stick with it, some people are going to get very angry. They’re going to see your commitment as the mirror held up in front of their lack of trying.” totally agree here….

    I usually end up spilling water on my commitments but i still try to set goals.. 🙂

    am glad you are committed to you blog sweet mom..its one blog i look forward to everyday

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