Calling All Men: Marry My Gay Daughter, Please

This story is so funny and so strange (and yet not so strange) that my fingers are practically dancing off the keyboards.  I saw this story on the HuffPo yesterday, but wanted to wait and let it marinate a bit before I wrote about it.  This morning, I read a few more articles about it.


Oh Lawd, here it goes, the meat of the thing is this:


Cecil Chao Sze-tsung, a Hong Kong property billionaire, has offered up $64 million dollars for a reasonable man who is capable of marrying his GAY daughter.


Let’s all pause for a second…




That’s Gigi on the right…


Yes, this has happened.  Gigi Chao, a good looking woman of 33 years old, married her gay partner in France 5 months ago.  But, daddy refuses to accept this reality.  He’s offered up a huge bounty for any man capable of turning his daughter straight.


And then the inevitable happened…Gigi was flooded with emails.  Marriage proposals were offered from all over the world.  One of them was even from an American gay guy.  Oh, the lengths people will go to keep up appearances, if (and this is a big IF) the price is right.


The surprising part is that the daughter, Gigi, is TOUCHED by what her father has done.  TOUCHED!  She sees it as an act of love.  She says, “he just thinks I deserve better.”


Better?  Oh, I have such a problem with that word.  Let’s go over the facts here — the woman is rich (an heiress, in fact), she’s young, AND she’s attractive.  Does daddy honestly think she just hasn’t found the right guy?  Or can’t?!


She-sus Christ.  It’s such a strange story, but I’m not as enraged as you might think I would be.  There are numerous reasons for this.  Let me go over two of the main ones.


1.  My brother was also lightly propositioned by my parents to “leave the gay” for money.  What I mean by that is, they offered to give him a sum of money (some kind of inheritance) IF he married a woman.


I found it intensely humorous, even more so then the proposal of Mr. Chao.  A cousin of mine looked at me with “sad eyes” and told me about my parents plan.  My response?  I laughed.  I laughed hard.  First of all, my parents are not the Rockefellers and there ain’t nobody, nowhere, going to pretend they ain’t gay for a couple of mere rupees.  Sorry, but it’s true.  I looked at her and said, “What?  My parents are not the Hiltons!  That’s not a threat at all.  For feck sake, he (my brother) makes more money then they ever did!”  Not that you can put a price tag on living your life as honestly as possible, but still!!!!  What feckin’ money??!!


I mean what is wrong with people??!!


2.  The girl is just trying to respect her parents, while at the same time doing whatever in the feck she wants.  I so get this.  I tried to walk this line for many, many years.  I called it trying to live with “grace.”  I always thought, in regard to my parents, “Yeah, yeah, I know you want me to get married to a dude and live ten minutes away from you…”  However, I always, ALWAYS, knew (whether I was gay OR straight, in fact) that it was NEVER going to happen.  I always knew it was THEIR wish and not mine and as a complete, whole, adult, person, I only have an obligation to live authentically AS MYSELF.  That means answering only to myself and maybe my higher power.  (My higher power by the way happens to think mostly everything is bullsh*t.  She’s a smart girl.)  That is the beautiful knowledge that comes out of leaving your parents house.  I suggest everyone do it, sooner rather than later.


Now, at a certain point – this whole idea of living as you want, while not ruffling your parents or society’s or your church’s feathers – well, this whole idea will come to a head.  When it comes to a head, you have to choose.  You or them.  It’s, unfortunately, very simple.


There will be consequences once you choose – some will be positive, some will be negative.  For example, my mother has come around a bit.  She accepts my partner because she knows me and she knows that I am going to do what I want.  I think she has even, slowly, very slowly, grown to like her.  My father, on the other hand, I have pretty much written off as a lost cause.  It’s sad because I like my dad, but I’m not willing to play the whole, “I’ll come see you, but my partner stays at home or outside,” game anymore.  He has to adjust and he’s not really adjusting.  There are people who will say, “give him time” and “don’t be so hard on him.”  To that I say, “he can have all the time he wants in the world,” I’m just not waiting around to live my life as it needs to be lived.  There is no “pause” button on my life cassette anymore.  It is play, all the way.


And that means living – honestly, openly, and with dignity.  Dignity means the person I love the most NEVER sits in the car.  She never waits outside.


That is choosing.


At one point, Gigi Chao will have to choose.  (If she hasn’t already, that is.)  It seems to me her dad may even come around.  I mean, honestly, someone who is willing to do something that outlandish has to be open-minded to a certain extent.  At the very least, he’s an innovative thinker, even if his idea is so over-the-top I’m surprised it’s not an episode of Glee.


Regardless, I’m sure of one thing…Gigi Chao is probably not going to marry a dude, not even for all the tea in China.


Yes, I just said that.  It felt good, now, didn’t it?



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Photo creds:

GigiandWIFE, feature-photo


66 thoughts on “Calling All Men: Marry My Gay Daughter, Please

  1. Going to meet the Korean in laws IN Korea in January. They are less than thrilled but the diamanteed steel capped platform shoe has been firmly planted. I love me some drama!
    For 64 million dollars I would probably have stayed away. Maybe.
    Portia xx

    1. for 64 million dollars, i might dress as a man for a while… i mean i wear jeans and teas – halfway there, but i’d have to give up shoes…oh, how i love shoes! but, i would never leave wifesy. oh lawd, korean in-laws????!!! if things go south, just start doing some “gangham style” and tell them you’re trying to learn their culture through it… looooooool. i hear you tho, as difficult as it may be. we are right feckin’ here, damn it. not in the car, not at home, right feckin’ here! okay, i’ll stop shouting now. stay strong, portia, stay strong. xoxo, sm

      1. I am secure in the knowledge that I’ll be the most frightening thing in South Korea. Don’t you worry about me. Worry for them. If they even look at him mean Ima gunna CUT THEM. They are really awful to him and though I speak no Korean they will behave. It’s going to be fabulous.
        So strong here. Can’t wait.
        Thanks SM give my love to SMF too please,
        Portia xx

      2. OH MY GOD YOU’RE GOING TO SOUTH KOREA!!!!!!! you brave, brave, sweet thing. well, i’ve got your back from all the way over here in sunnylandia. give ’em hell, you wonderful gurl. xoxo, sm

  2. Holy Heck. I stepped away for a minute, but still don’t know what to say. I guess you’re right, 64 million for this girl is like my parents offering me $64 dollars, and it would probably come as rolled pennies at that. I wonder when people are going to figure out that only bad things happen when you try to attach monetary value to love? One day, hopefully.

    1. “only bad things happen when you try to attach monetary value to love.” man, you leave the best comments, jon! how right you are. and i love the “rolled pennies” line. perhaps our parents are very similar. i don’t think all of my father’s spare change fished out of the couch would ever make me leave wifesy… loool.

      1. Thanks. I think they may just be similar in the since that they don’t have much money. I think mine would be okay with me being gay, or at least they act like they would be.

        My mom’s been on me about getting married and giving her grand babies, and it is something I would like to do. But a few years ago when she was really ragging me she said “You don’t have to marry them, just [bang] them.” (That’s cleaned up too!) Yeah, no grand kids yet. When I see your moniker I think of my momma and her potty mouth.

      2. okay, you have no idea how similar our parents are. my mother told me “just marry a guy. you deserve the wedding gifts. you can break it off with him after.” i mean, WHAT IN THE FECK. parents are so crazy about their bloodlines continuing in the grandbabies sense. believe me, i feel you – full stop.

  3. My first reaction to this, when I saw it last night, was that it was inevitable. The chinese followed a child limitation plan that resulted in a new generation with not enough women and an over abundance of men. Now parents are suddenly (at least in some areas) cherishing the girls when they have them. The girls are suddenly valuable. But in this ‘brave new world’ not all the women are going to be interested in the men, even if they have their pick of them. The father’s actions didn’t surprise me at all.

    1. it’s interesting, isn’t it? i actually think if things go a certain way this story COULD play as a positive social equality message for china. as long as she balks at her dad’s suggestion and never does leave the wife to marry a dude. that stance (even quietly so) against what her dad is trying to achieve may speak volumes. it’s cray cray any way you look at it. but, soooo interesting.

  4. I’m confused. If Gigi married her partner in France, I would think it was because she is BEST. If you’re marrying, why settle for less…and she thinks Dad wants BETTER for her? If I were her partner…we’d definitely have to TAWK!! xoxoM

    1. i know, i cringed at that line too. i think it is hard on our western ears. i THINK what she meant was HE thinks we wants better for her… and hetero would be better. that’s what HE thinks. but, she’s already with the best. i’m saying that because i don’t think she has any intention of leaving her woman. i could be wrong, money does funny things to people…

      1. Money does do strange things to people…but that doesn’t seem to be a factor particularly for her since she’s already got more than she could spend in several lifetimes. I agree that she’s trying to express an appreciation for her father’s concern for her. As both a parent and a child, I feel we have much work to do when it comes to communicating mutual love and respect…just sayin! xoM

    1. it’s truly cray-cray, right? she works for her dad’s company. i’ve watched a couple of interviews of her and she says that they are “close.” it will be interesting to see if anything else happens…

  5. This was an interesting post and I agree with it 100%. She will have to choose at one point. Her own happiness, or everyone else’s.

    1. indeed she will. there is no getting out of it. i always thought there was some kind of tightrope you could walk, but there isn’t. at one point, she will have to choose. just like you said and i said. ;) xoxo, sm

  6. I think what disgusts me most about this story is that her happiness has no value to him. He thinks he can “pay the gay away” and…man. It’s really fecked up. This is his daughter, and he wants to make it rain for some dude just to keep up appearances.

    1. he did say he wanted the man to be ‘kind hearted’. loool. i know, it’s really hard to read for our liberal ears. but, you have to keep in mind that in hong kong, homosexuality was just decriminalized in 1991. 1991!!! so, i think their attitudes are slowly changing. maybe this story will help in some way. the dad MUST think that the daughter can’t possibly be happy with a woman. sad, but true. that’s where his head is at.

  7. Haha! This Gigi is one confused chick if you ask me, if she agrees this proposition is ‘better’. Her partner should probably take the 64 million and flee.

    1. i know, that’s the way we all feel. BUT, i think it’s a chinese cultural thing where respect of one’s parents is PARAMOUNT. so, i think she’s sort of laughing at her dad and remaining with her partner. it will be interesting to see if the story unfolds any further…

      1. I see what you mean. As an Indian, such blinded respect for parents is something that has been sledgehammered into me. I would love to see what happens next!

    1. looooool. it is so fecked up. like major fecked up ness. it’s cray cray to a whole new level. the gay daughter is the one to the right. the lesbo wife is the one to the left. she’s a bit butchier, to say the least. but, i think they are a cute couple. maybe daddy will come around. we can only hope. lol.

  8. I also read this CRAZY Cecil Chao Sze-tsung story and laughed. This is a great post about it.
    Some people just want things their own way, and will pay to (try) have it happen. So sad.

    It’s like that argument of being right > being happy.

    1. ‘the argument of being right over being happy.’ — oh, that was a gem, i run, a total gem. i’m with you, some people just can NOT accept things as they are…especially if they think they can buy their way out. it’s redunkulous! completely.

  9. money for being straight…aaouch…it hurts..
    Sweet mom honestly it is funny yet at the same time pretty sad …

    this is very cute Sweet Mom..”And that means living – honestly, openly, and with dignity. Dignity means the person I love the most NEVER sits in the car. She never waits outside.”

  10. You are right. She is attractive and an heiress. She obviously has more respect for her Father than she does for her gay partner whom she has already married. Is there no mention of her partner’s name, reaction to the father’s proposal or reaction to her newlywed’s reaction? I have questions people!

    1. you know, mg. i have NOT seen much reaction from the wife. i was surprised there was even a picture of the both of them and that she wasn’t sequestered off somewhere, but this story is fairly new, so i’m guessing some reporter is going to find her for a chat. i so too have questions! and i agree, it sounds like she’s respecting her parent over her partner, but maybe it’s a cultural thing and she’s respecting them both? i’m not sure yet… xoxo

      1. Just stumbled upon this blog, and though you guys might like to hear a little context. In Hong Kong, Cecil Chao is famous for his outlandish exploits and for being a playboy. The news agencies in Hong Kong, especially the paparazzi, are extremely brutal and loves to screw with celebrities. I believe Cecil is just taking the media on for a ride (as usual) and probably meant it as a joke, which is why his daughter is not taking it seriously at all. In fact, his kids are probably used to it. He isn’t the only old rich billionaire who frequently says stupid shit for fun, just check out Stanley Ho.

        The other thing is, this dude is 76 years old and born in a totally different era, and even culture, as his daughter. I believe his daughter was educated in the West, and is probably way more liberal then him. In Chinese culture, family lineage is a big deal. Social status is a big deal, filial piety is an even bigger deal, and who you marry decides how society sees you. The interesting thing is that Gigi said that her dad was okay with her being in-the-closet gay but on the outside she had to marry a man. She likened it to “don’t ask don’t tell”. As traditional as Hong Kong is, it’s still the most liberal and westernized place in China. People are quite forward thinking but at the same time, they are also repressed. Most people don’t give a shit that you’re gay, and everyone already knew Gigi was gay. But in Chinese culture, there is a really strong distinction between our public “self” and private “self”. Cecil probably saw his daughter’s actions as “losing face” (this is a very Chinese concept that most Westerners don’t get).

        Also, her wife Sean did respond by saying “Cecil loves attention”.

        Just a little info, it’s 5am here and I’m kinda too tired to elaborate lol. From a Chinese person’s POV, it’s pretty interesting how the media in the West has reacted.

  11. It’s twisted to think that a man who’d marry your daughter for a pile of money would be a son-in-law you’d ever want. My guess is that if he ever found someone, Dad would eventually end up paying the guy even more to divorce her.

    1. such a great point that no one else brought up! surely, the divorce would exceed 64 mill! i mean, it’s the craziest story. craziest. it’s like an old school arrange marriage…only, she’s already married. he’s doing that typical guy thing in a way too, where they go, “lesbo? that doesn’t really count…” i had a guy in one of my audiences go…’will you go out with me?’ and i said, OUT LOUD, ‘actually, i’m married to a woman.’ and it was like he didn’t hear me, he just says again, “yeah, but will you go out with me…” HI-larious. xoxo, sm

    1. ok, i’m dying right now because that’s the wife!!!! looool. do all lesbos look like old guys to you? lawd, lawd. the dad looks like a more disheveled george takei. lool. love you, sm

      1. Nooooooo! I just thought the other person looked a lot older and more mannish and assumed….. Oh, God, please excuse me while I try to extract my foot from my mouth. This would be a great reply for Carrie Rubin’s embarrassing moments post on Monday!

        Excuse me while I go crawl under my desk and hide my blushing head for a long, long, long while!!!

        (I still think SHE looks like Yoko Ono!)

      2. it’s so okay. SHE is not here. and if she’s monitoring this blog, she has bigger problems that being mistaken for a man. loooool! i did find it uproariously funny tho. xoxox ;)

  12. Nice post. Reading the responses makes me think…. You know in America you do get money for being straight. Everyday you get money for being straight, at least if you are married. With no right to marry the financial benefits that the heterosexuals have over gays is tremendous. If I recall correctly there are over 1000 rights, benefits etc that married people have that gays do not. I am sure this is true in Hong Kong as well. I mean this guy is just sweetening the pot.

    1. oh, jo-jo, what a great and accurate comment. you are dead on correct. in fact, i know it all too well – this year alone wifesy and i lost a 10,000 dollar credit just for being gay. because that’s what hetero married couples get to claim when one is dependent on the other. when you’re gay and your marriage is not recognized by the federal gov’t – you get 500. 5feckinhundred. i mean, are you kidding me? it just goes on and on. in hong kong, homosexuality is decriminalized, but only as of the 1990s. and i do NOT believe gay marriage is legal there. that is why they got married in france. so, in that sense we are a step ahead. thank god. and yet at the same time, sigh. it’s all so exhausting! lol. xoxo, sm

  13. Oh parents. They really are nutty. I didn’t want kids, but if I did have them, I honestly wouldn’t give one flying fig if they were gay or straight. The only thing I’d care about is, “Are they kind to you?” My parents were always pretty cool, if I had been gay I don’t think they’d have been too bothered. I’m sorry about your dad, though. Bah.

  14. Pops wants grandchildren! Being of old school thinking can’t see beyond the idea of no son-in-law, no grandchild. Willing to pay for this privilege, very important to lineage.

    Now, if they would have children, little curtain climbers to present to pops he would likely forget about the $64M and begin preparing the way.

  15. I found comments from her on MSN. Thought that it difuses the story since her reaction is positive towards her father.

    “Although her inbox is swamped with messages from eager suitors, Chao only sees the good in her father’s intentions: “At first I was entertained by it, and then that entertainment turned into the realization and conviction that I am a really lucky girl to have such a loving daddy.” But despite being “very touched and very moved” by her dad’s concern, she said she has no plans to leave Eav: “I’m very happy when I’m with her.”’

    What I think is great is to hear a woman so confident in her decision that she is not riled up or needing to use this as a platform. Kinda refreshing these days!
    Can you imagine the other things her dad has done in his life? Sounds like a character.

  16. Oh Lordy. I can’t help laughing, but still… Just yesterday we got the save-the-date card from our daughter and her intended (GAL), and we can’t imagine anyone better suited for her than the woman she has already chosen to marry. (Gigi’s dad would be shocked that I’ll be the minister performing the wedding ceremony, wouldn’t he? Rather a different “parental response,” I suppose…)

    1. looooool. rather different, indeed. but, in my book so freakin’ awesome! seriously, you just put a BIG smile on my face. wish her and her GAL all the best. much love, sm

  17. Sadly, my first thought upon reading this post were “Dayamn! She is beautiful but who is that tiny unattractive man she’s posing with?” Shame on me. I’m sure her wife has many lovely qualities that don’t come across in pictures.
    My second thought was that I admired her. Not only does she have the guts to be honest and love openly, but she also has the generosity of spirit to see her father’s actions as an act of love. I wonder if I would have been as generous. Perhaps she is not just beautiful on the outside.

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