Screen Shot 2012-10-13 at 11.24.15 AM

What If Your Teeth Don’t Fall Out?

There was a fellow, he seemed to be an activist.  Maybe a nerdy activist with a t-shirt on (like someone you’d find at Occupy Wall Street) and that t-shirt read, “Trayvon Martin was a good man.”


The t-shirt was a light blue color.


The guy, the activist, he was a nervous guy.  He pretty much brimmed over with anxiety.  Anxiety seemed to be the fuel that made him run.


I don’t know why he approached me, but I do know that he approached me.


I don’t know what he was trying to say.


All I know – full stop – is that I dreamed him up.  The activist is the last thing that I remember from being asleep this morning.  And what I’ve just told you is all I can remember about him.



Why Trayvon Martin?


Is it because I wear a hoodie sometimes when I walk the dog?


I threw the hood up on my sweatshirt just this very morning…


Oddly, as I did so, I thought, “What if someone shoots me?”  After all, I have my hoodie up.  And then I thought, “No, my ass looks too much like a girl’s ass and I have weird studded, bling, bling, on the back pockets of my jeans.  No one is going to be threatened by that.  No one will shoot me today.”


So, why do we dream what we dream?  I’m not usually the kind of person who thinks too much about these things.  However, lately, I find myself very interested in psychology.  Truth is, I tend to sneer at crystals and cards and things that claim to tell you your future.


But, I do believe in the mind.  And I do believe that our mind tries to work things out while we sleep.


I’ve also heard that we are the main character of every dream we dream up.  Our subconscious puts us into a variety of roles to “work things out.”  So, am I the nerdy activist in the t-shirt?  Or am I actually Trayvon Martin?  Or am I a little bit of everything?


I read a great instructional piece on the inter-webs that talked about how everything in your dream is a little bit of you.


The article went on to say, put YOUR label on to everything in your dream.


So, if I were to re-write it, it would go…


I’m in an Occupy Wall Street setting (part of me).  All around me is chaos (part of me) and activism (part of me).  I get approached by a black (part of me), nerdy (part of me), anxious (part of me) activist (part of me) with a t-shirt on.  That t-shirt says, “Trayvon Martin was a good man.”  (also, part of me.)


Then you take each “part of me” piece and pull it out of the paragraph.  You define those things with a functional metaphor.  In other words, what do those things DO, metaphorically, for me, in my mind.


Here goes nothing…


Occupy Wall Street / Chaos – the part of me that is trying to do something great, but is confused and lacks a real mission.  Hey, wasn’t that the whole problem with Occupy?  In a sense, the real message that I received was, “THEY are rich and WE are pissed.”


Activist – part of me has always thought of myself as an activist.  I don’t “officially” belong to any groups, per se, but I find myself always sticking up for the little guy.  And I have a strong injustice chord.  When I see injustice, it bothers me, far more than other things.


Black man – part of me that is the picture of strength, but, yet, also feels oppressed or held down in some way.


Nerdy – part of me that will never be accepted by the whole.


Anxious – part of me that doubts, always.  the part of me that I see most clearly as my father – a man filled with anxiety to keep everything he loves safe and to keep himself safe.


Trayvon Martin – misunderstood.  Sure, the whole Trayvon Martin tragedy was more an act of racism than is was just a simple misunderstanding.  But, in relation to my dream, the main thing I see in Trayvon is misunderstanding.  A huge part of me has always felt misunderstood from a very early age.  As a result, I think I’m always searching for clarity from myself and others.


Now, the instructional says to go ahead and re-write the story, exaggerating where I want, and adding anything that comes to mind using those associations.  So, here goes nothing, again…


I had a dream about a nerdy, young, black, activist that IS me.  I have never felt like your typical “white” girl, even though my name is often used to describe all “white” girls.  Becky, as a girl’s name, has become the default punchline these days (if you listen closely) for the bland, boringness that images of the whitest of white ladies produce – say Lindsay Lohan, for example.  When I think of Lindsay, I think of wadding up a piece of white bread and choking down the hard dough ball with a milk chaser.  I could not be further from a Lindsay Lohan archetype.  I suppose the default “whitey” category that myself and others can get lumped into assumes that I have no soul.  And soul, passion, tenacity, -well- I seem to have been overloaded with those things.  The part of me that is not the typical white girl part of me, approached the other part of me at the rally, and seemed nervous.  It was a nervous excitement that he had (and likewise, perhaps, I have) about a desire to do something good.  Yet, with no concrete idea about how to go about doing the good thing.  The nervous, nerdy, activist, part of me, thought I could help him out.  Can I?  I guess we both don’t know.  Then there was the Trayvon Martin t-shirt.  I think the activist was trying to tell me that some people will always misunderstand.  Some people are not on a quest to understand themselves or others at all and those people will always jump to conclusions.  So, if you want to be understood completely, you can expect that from a few people, and probably not from the world at large.  But, maybe, maybe through a good story, you can reach a few more.  A few more calm, converts who will understand you and themselves fully.  Now, THAT could be satisfying.



Hey, a girl can dream.  Or, at least, I think that’s what that dream means.


If I had a simple dream about my teeth falling out, I could look that up much easier.  Unfortunately, I don’t dream easy like that.


What about you?  Dream much?  Do you think your dreams are based on wish fulfillment or something you are trying to work out in your waking life?  As always, I’m dying to know…



Sweet Mother is updated daily-ish.  If you’d like to receive an email when new content is published on this blog, simply hit the “follow” button at the top, right of the page.



You might also like:

Join My NaNoWriMo Challenge



Photo creds:

featured-humanity, trayvon-mural, trayvon-rally


23 thoughts on “What If Your Teeth Don’t Fall Out?

  1. I dream vividly and nightly. Some days, I wake exhausted from dreaming… hmm. Scary. I think I am working things out most of the time, but occasionally it’s wish (I’ll keep that one to myself). I’ve found some very interesting stuff on the web about dreaming… but overall, it remains a big, fat, area of confusion. Like the exercise and story that you got out of this… coolio. Now, go read my blog, right now! Right now Mom! (Because the issues of girls’ education and Malala Yousafzai is what is twisting my dreams around this week. Seriously.) xox

    1. of to visit your blog, right now! lol. yep, this was an odd post and an even more odd exercise, but like most things on this blog, i’m glad i did it. at the very least…it ‘pushes’ things a little bit and i always think that’s a good thing… xo, sm

      1. It’s the writing that I like about any of this… whatever gets you/me/us writing is a good thing! I may not get the numbers I’d like (stats) but I just keep plugging and hope that my writing improves. Getting published recently was a big kick, even if it’s in someone else’s book! I love reading other bloggers, because we’re all writers, and that is “always a good thing!” :-)

  2. Sweet Mom sometimes i i dont dream and then are days when i wake up with dreams that i remember for rest of the day because they are like 3D movies…i can recall every detail.. i once had a dream where everything was actually 3D like…it even matched a scene from Inception movie…

    but despite my twisted mind..i sometimes also have simple standard dreams where im losing my teeth or missing my exam or going to a Math exam studying for an English exam.. :P

    1. i have those exams dreams too. it’s usually that i haven’t studied and that i’m late and attending the wrong class. so, it’s all fecked, completely. lol. i don’t know why i have them, but i do…

  3. I take a sleeping pill at night so most nights I sleep so deeply that I don’t remember dreams. Mind you, once in a while….. Just the other night I dreamed that I was in bed with one of my best friends. Not a big deal, right? Except that he is almost 30 years younger than I am…..and gay. I absolutely adore this man and the dream wasn’t just about sex, it was about love. I felt so fulfilled being close to him. This is not the first gay man I’ve fallen for. Think I should get a sex change? :-P

    1. loooool. wendos, so interesting. so interesting. i think it means what you think it means. i think you are partially a gay man tho. that’s okay, so am i. looool. i loved hearing about this dream for some reason. you should write about it. much love, sm

  4. I used to remember more of my dreams when I was younger. Now, not so much. But some have been so vivid they’ve stayed with me all of my life. I just wish I knew what the heck they mean. Are they our brains working things out? Repressed desires sneaking out? Our subconscious playing games with our conscious? All of the above? But I bet you could write a best-seller of humorous interpretations!

    1. i remember them very sporadically. but, this one stuck with me this morning, oddly. i don’t know what the hell any of it means, honestly. but, it’s fun to ‘fool’ around with it. lool. much love, sm

  5. Ugh, what a sad story and what a tragic ending, for both of them. For Trayvon it was guilty by association – i.e. young black male must be up to no good. I’ll bet that when Zimmerman accosted him, Trayvon did the typical teen thing and said something ‘cool’ and offensive. Had Zimmerman not had the right to carry a gun the confrontation would have ended in a scuffle and some harsh words. Instead, a teenager is dead and Zimmerman must live with that for the rest of his life.

    Sorry Mum, I know that tragedy is not the focus of your post but I’d never heard of Trayvon Martin until I read your post this morning so my imagination is running wild.

    Maybe your dream represents your anxiety about being gay in a society that is becoming less and less tolerant of any sort of difference – colour, religion, sexual orientation. After all, if a kid can be shot for being black, and in the wrong place at the wrong time then the same thing could happen to anyone stigmatized as ‘different’ and ‘dangerous’.

    Perhaps this is also your sub-conscious’ way of nudging you to write about these feelings?

    1. the trayvon martin this is sad any way you look at it. the thing is that it happened a while ago, so it’s so odd that i dreamt of it so recently. as for the ‘gay anxiety’ – i don’t think i have much of that. might’ve had it long ago, but i’m pretty comfortable in my skin now…regardless of what the world thinks! lol. what i probably do have is success anxiety, but i’m working on that one… as always, such great commentary to read, meeks. and i’ll be checking out your blog tomorrow. xo, sm

  6. I have difficulty sleeping and, like WriterWendyReid, take a sleeping pill. I had very bad, vivid nightmares when I was younger and started keeping myself awake so I would not have to experience them. When I had my cancer in my thirties doctors made me take sleeping pills because they insisted that my body needed sleep to fight. I have taken them off and on since. I remember the first night I slept how amazed I was at how it felt. I phoned a friend and said, “I really like this sleep thing”. There was no dreaming though. I still have vivid nightmares on occasion but I can not remember ever having a pleasant dream.

  7. I too, used to remember nearly every dream I had (or at least a dream I had every night). Lots of apocalyptic stuff. Not that I’m on pills, and also therapied out the wazoo, I don’t remember much. Little snippets at best. I wonder what will happen when the pills stop…
    Anywhat…I too think dreams are important in that they can give us insight. You were much more thorough with your analysis than I have ever been, though. Hats off to the nerdy black man that lives inside of you.

  8. I have a few dreams that are recurring for me and that I’ve had as long as I can remember. The location, time, etc. is different but the point/action is the same. I also have dreams that are “new” and I tend to remember quite a lot of them. I’ve never really spent the time to try to figure out what they mean though.

    1. it’s probably best not too… because really, in the end, i’m not sure if it equates. but, it was fun to think about for a post. xo

  9. I think dreams are all a mish-mash of more conscious intentions and wishes, etc., but they are also a jumble of more unconscious data that your brain is synthesizing that may not make any conscious sense at all.

    I have used a similar intervention to the one you used above: that if each part of your dream could say something or have a message, what would it be? It’s just another way of getting at someone’s interpretation of their own dream (which I think is always more meaningful than someone else’s interpretation).

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s