helpinghand

Writer-ish Help for Writers: The Nos and Yeses

Okay, so I’m on the constant look out for writerly things and cool gigs.  I’m glad that I am because every now and again I find a needle in a haystack.  A needle would be – a blogging or writing gig that pays a decent amount of money.  Currently, I have one.  I’d like to find a few more and then I’ll feel grand, whilst I blog away for free and work on other fun projects.

 

However, every silver lining has a cloud.  Today, the cloud I’m going to talk about is…

 

CRAIGSLIST.  Specifically, writer-ish jobs/ gigs on Craigslist.

 

Oh lawd.  I have seen some “ads” for writers on there that would BLOW your mind.

 

Here are some snippets picked completely out of today’s browsing ONLY.  That should tell you how many horrors there really are out there.  I classify them simply as…

 

THE NOOOOOOOOS!

 

Wrist Hurtz Guy

 

 

I don’t know if you can read the ad above (and don’t worry if you can’t.  It’s really not necessary, but my commentary is), but this guy wants someone to transcribe some Comedy Central specials for him because… HIS WRIST HURTS.

 

So, his little girly-assed wrist can’t hold up a pen up or pound a keyboard because that would be too hard.  I can only imagine, just what exactly his wrist is so tired from.

 

The shake weight?  Most definitely.

 

 

Black Porno Dude

 

 

This ad was actually listed in the “writer” section.  So, I guess if you can’t throw enough freelancing writing gigs together there’s always porn.  Oh, Lawd.  Well, if you’re a man of mixed race then there’s this particular porn gig for you.  (Sweet She-sus Christ, somebody hold me!)

 

I Want My $3!

 

 

Just when you thought freelance writing was a respectable, valuable, career for the college educated…along comes the $3 post.  That’s correct, write as many $3 posts as you can and your rate will go up to a whopping $9-10/ hr.  With wages like that, who needs Starbucks and all their health benefits?  Or Obamacare for that matter.  I mean at $9-10/ hr surely a person could afford to buy healthcare for themselves and a friend.  Sigh.

 

Hark, DEAR READERS, ye must tremble at the mere thought of these writer-ish NOOOOOOOOOS!  (…or do what Edie Falco reportedly said Stanley Tucci does EVERY morning.  He wakes up and says, “Feck ‘em, Feck ‘em, Feck ‘em.)

 

The good news is…there are Writer-ish YESES!!!

 

Today I found one.

 

The Yeses.

 

Online Portfolios for Writers
For the longest time, I’ve been looking around for a site where you could more or less “aggregate” all of your blogging and freelance writing without having to pay a web designer or coder to do it every time you write something new.

 

The first site I found like this is called, “writer’s residence.”  (Click on the words in quotes and it will bring you there.  Then – click here – to see a friend of mine’s profile at work.)  Writer’s residence was created by a gifted, British, writer and web designer who is known for doing restaurant websites, food blogs, and great photography.  She (and her team) are gifted and I liked what she had to offer.

 

There was only one problem…I didn’t want to pay for it.  For writer’s residence you pay.  Not a lot, but there IS a monthly fee.  (Somewhere in the $10 range.)

 

It’s not that I’m cheap.  It’s not that I feel people shouldn’t get paid.  Hey, she came up with a great idea.  She put it out there.  That takes sweat equity.  She should get paid.

 

However, freelance writers have to be EXTREMELY careful about where they put their money.  Just this week I had to decide, a) do I want to pay for an online New York Times subscription (or continue to use my “work around”), b) do I want to pay $24/ month for an SMS (texting) mailer to promote my show or should I wait?, c) do I pay for another service that will help me to manage my tweets and other online entities?  I could tell you about more stuff I almost spent my money on.  Sadly, I could go on and on about a topic such as that.

 

Gurl, I feels your pains.

 

Thankfully, I’m trying to work smarter these days and that means spending less.  The important thing with freelancing is to make sure that your incoming dough is outweighing your out-going dough.  Obvious, right?  Not really when you consider the old adage of, “sometimes it takes money to make money.”  With that in mind, it’s very easy to start paying for things.  Don’t even get me started on how only a small percentage of your facebook friends are currently seeing your status updates.  If you want them all to see them, well, now you’ve got to pay.  Yep, that’s right… because facebook wants you to PAY to “promote” them to all of your friends.  Have you noticed a decrease in interactivity on your page?  That is why.  (Click here for a GREAT article that discusses it in further detail.)

 

So, with that all said and with everything grabbing at your wallet, FREE can mean a great deal to a person like me.  Today, I found one.

 

That’s what I want to tell you about.  CONTENTLY.  Click on the word and you’ll go to my profile.  It’s a great, FREE, portfolio site for writers.  It’s super easy to use.  I gain nothing from telling you about this, other than helping my writer-ish community out.  So, that’s what I want to do.  If you write stuff on the web or out there in the world and want to showcase the wide range of it (and your social media reach) then join CONTENTLY.

 

I’ll consider it my good deed for the day.

 

Thank you, my lovelies, and good night.

 

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Oh, and I may take the day off from posting tomorrow.  I tend to post 6 days out of the week these days.  So, I’ve included some more “you might like these” if you want to get extra Sweet Mother reading in on Sunday.  As always, I’m glad (and flattered) that you do at all.

 

Much love,

 

Mommy Dearest  (but, not in a “wire hangers” sort of way)

 

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Sweet Mother is updated daily-ish.  If you’d like to follow this blog, you can do so by clicking the follow prompt at the top of the page.

 

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You might also like:

Action Victoria Jackson!

Spare Socks and Marriage

Based on a True Story

The Lesbians Next Door

How to Stop Your Child from Being Murdered by Me

 

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Photo creds:

feature, barbie-money

 

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21 thoughts on “Writer-ish Help for Writers: The Nos and Yeses

    1. i mean what in christ’s fancy feckin’ knickers is that all about? why? why? why? and why on earth didn’t they respond to my resume? was it the black part? i’m sure it was the black part… sigh. ;0

  1. I joined this site once…it was a like a classifieds for writing jobs (you bid on them)….so much of it was bullshit that I finally just cancelled.

    1. wait, contently? contently is free. and i think they have to ‘ask’ you to be able to submit for gigs… at least that what it looks like. what i want is a 1 link portfolio that i can send out of my work and this does that… without the writer’s residence fee.. xo, sm

      1. Not bidding with money (sorry, I guess I should have specified that)…you bid with the amount of time it would take you to complete whatever task they needed. The pay was lousy though and there is no way I could have competed with my full time job…and then again, half of them were not even real.

      2. hmmm, that’s interesting. to be honest, i don’t even WANT to use it for job search. i have cl (even with those cray cray ads), indeed, and linkedin for that. what i do like it for is a one click portfolio AND it will tell you the popularity of each particular article, which is good because i can only tell the ‘popularity’ of the pieces on my own site. it also combines those featured articles with your ‘social media’ reach, which i also like because EVERYONE wants that these days. but, the bottom line is, if that’s not what you want it for then it’s probably not the right joint for you. did you try writer’s residence? they’re cheap and no/ zero classifieds. xoxo

  2. I will check out that site when I get off this tiny phone and back to my laptop. Sadly my tired eyes can barely read this iphone screen anymore. Oy vey, SM, I’m getting old. But sounds like an interesting site.

  3. I’m not kidding you, there was an in the Portland Craigslist’s writing gigs section that said the pay was “me being super proud of you.” I wrote to the poster and said, “Fuck you. Sincerely, A Writer”

  4. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Now, can you tell me how I I can get your blog to update me on comments? There’s no handy dandy button, at least not on my view. Oh, wait, you can tell me ’cause I can get comment updates right now. Sigh. I have to figure it out myself. Sigh and sigh again.

  5. Ahhh, Craigslist. While there are a few things it is good for, I’m beginning to find that for most real things it sucks. True, I found my apartment on it and sold my old bass guitar to a Hindu monk through it, but a job? It’s the last resort really. I love your profile on Contently! It looks great!

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