Love and Jobs (Post 35)

I had a therapist, once, who said that people only talk about “love and jobs.”  Okay, she was quoting Freud when she said it, but still I credit her.  I’m lucky enough to have the love thing sorted out.  It took a long time and lots of work on myself, but thankfully my love box is check-marked, sealed, and secure.


Then there’s the job…


I feel like I’ve been working on the job part for most of my adult life.  Well, better to say the career part.  A person will have many jobs – sometimes windfalls, sometimes low paying, but the best you can attain – in my humble opinion – is when you can develop a career.


dream jobs, job vs. career

These folks are all telemarketers, but they’re passion is perfect, stoop, portraiture.


To me, the career is the thing that keeps on giving.  It’s a personal brand in a way.  A career can (though, not always) shelter one from the volatility of a bad job market and a down economy.  A career to me says:  you’re at the top of your game, not many other people can do what you do, and you are the MUST HAVE for a company or you sell/ provide something that is a must have for a consumer.


Jobs are easy to get.  They can be mindless and yet satisfy your needs.  But, a career – a career can help complete you as a person.  It can fill you up psychologically, financially, physically, emotionally, and philosophically.  At least, that’s my vision for what the dream career can do.


I went to brunch with a friend of mine on Sunday.  He’s had a bigger impact on my career focus than he knows.  He was the first person who said to me, “Stop focusing on the “scene” of the comedy business and try to re-focus on the creating of things.”  Create content.  Forget who is doing what show and when.  Forget about so and so who says he’s doing this and that.  The better thoughts are…What are YOU making?  What are YOU building?  That’s what’s important.


As we walked towards the restaurant, my friend added…


“I used to think, man, am I bad with money?  Then I realized, no, I’m just in this ridiculous, comedy business.  I’m trying to make ends meet in a glamour field where almost everyone is working for free.  It’s hard to get a fair wage for yourself when the competition is willing to undercut your price to nothing.”


My friend had been working a data entry/ processing job.  He worked it hard for about 3 years.  Got himself out of debt and built up some savings.  All the while, he worked his “career” on the side.  He wrote and fought and built and created.  The other day he quit his “job” for his “career.”  I am proud of him.  In fact, I’m awe-struck by it.


As I think about his path in the context of my own, I see that I won’t have that “job” that gets me out of debt in the same way.  There will be no data entry/ processing job for me.  I’ll have a “career” that does it.  It may not take the form that I thought it would.  In fact, it may be entirely different than what I had originally envisioned.  However, I think it will get me to the same place as my friend.  I think it will be my version of a “job,” in that sense.  Even though others might see it as a “career.”  I see myself getting closer to it everyday.  I think the difficult part is in NOT allowing the job to be the end all, be all.  The job must be the means to the career.  In other words, you work to provide, but you must not stop dreaming AND building.


building a career

This man works at Citibank, but by night he works on his love…3-D dance hands.


I know that I’m going to have to figure out a way to keep creating, building, and making.  The creating, building, and making is what will help me tweak and finesse the “job” into the more PERFECT “career” – the one entirely of my making and by my rules.


It’s very clear to me now that this will take time, patience, strategy, and drive.


What will be most difficult, I believe, is the balance.  Finding a way to nail the imperfect career, so that it can become the dream one.  Building my own things on the side, while dedicating myself to the thing that will get me out of debt and on the right path.  The prevailing thought is to be an indispensable asset, while building a private empire.


It’s not an easy juggling act, is it?


As always I’d love to hear about your own thoughts and experiences.



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Photo creds:

dance-hands, stoop-perfection


20 thoughts on “Love and Jobs (Post 35)

  1. First – love the captions! I get where you are. I have a job and have made a career in a field I love – but as am artist I long to be free of constraints. I’m hoping to build a second act as a writing photographer. I don’t have a road map but I am building content. Perhaps for now I must be content with content .

    1. a “second act” – artsy, that’s such a great way to put it. i honestly believe if you truck along at the thing you love, while making sure that you can still pay your bills and what not – usually you’ll get to do the thing you love on a more full-time basis. that’s my hope anyway. and i DO think you are building that second act, indeed. much love, sm

  2. Becks, it’s as if you’ve written what I’ve been struggling with since I started freelancing. It is a balancing act. It comes in big waves and goes down to drip, drip, drip. It makes you question whether you’re doing the right thing and think — why don’t I just give up and get a real job? I don’t know. It takes stamina, patience and a desire to live life the way you want life to be. I have a vision, I don’t always do what I’m supposed to — to get “there,” but for the most part, I continue to try. I’ve had so many different jobs and “careers” and I’ve quit jobs that didn’t make me happy, despite the income and everyone telling me I was crazy. You gotta march to the beat of your own drum, live this life on your terms and hope, hope, hope it all works out. And it usually does. And, like you, I’m good on the love part and it took me a helluva long time to get that right. It wasn’t until I was honest with myself and accepted myself for who I was, not someone else’s interpretation, that it happened. Love walked in, but it took years. I try to assure myself that the same will happen with my “work.” I’m just incredibly fortunate that my love wants the same for me — he’s way more patient with me and wonderfully encouraging than I am with myself. See, I’ve still got lots to learn.

    Great post — I can so relate to this is, it’s uncanny. Thank you. xo

    1. see this is what i mean… you are just above and beyond in the self awareness department. you truly are. i think our career/ love stories are very similar also. i know it will take time, it already has, but i’ve got to believe it’s possible. i feel like some kind of mighty mouse standing on top of a hill brandishing a “do what you love” flag, but -hey- i am who i am. 😉 xoxo, sm

  3. Sweet Mother, I have been following you for quite some time, but for some reason or another, I do not always make it to your posts. Granted, I have been slacking on my reader a LOT lately, but today I saw something.

    I saw a post shared on Facebook by Vyv. In her post was a video of you performing. I recognized your name, obviously, but I was really blown away. You are honestly funny. Plus you have the bravery to get up and speak your comedy to a room full of living people, while most stay comfortably behind the drape of their keyboards. That’s truly admirable. I was filled with envy, motivation, curiosity, and of course giggle fits.

    THEN, I got to my reader and immediately saw this post. What you addressed in this post has been weighing on my mind all day. I just wanted to say thank you. I am currently working my day job and working towards a career in writing and/or social media on the side. I related to this is more ways than you know. You can’t sit around and wait for a career to land in your lap. You have to fucking fight!

    1. beccccccaaaa! first off, i love vyv. secondly, i’m having a glass of wine and responding to your comment. i totally understand not being able to read everything all the time because i am feeling like a major comment slacker lately. even on my own blog. all of that said, i’m truly glad that resonated with you. a writing / social media job worked on part-time when you have the time CAN become something full-time. i know this to be utterly true. so, like you said, ‘feckin’ fight!’ okay, that’s how i say it. but, honestly, you DO have to fight. 9 times out of 10, nothing will fall into your lap. it’s all blood, sweat, and tears. and lastly, thank you for saying so about my comedy and about this post. i think OFTEN when we have a normal-sized ego about us, we create these things, and have ZERO idea as to whether or not they are reaching people or any good at all, so it means the world that you enjoyed them or they made you think in some way. keep on fighting the good fight. much love, momma

  4. Isn’t it made harder when you are so fittedTo your ultimate slot that not aiming for it would feel like letting yourself down. There is a you shaped puzzle piece that will fit into the success you envision, I’m convinced.
    Portia xxx

  5. To me, the terms ‘career’ and ‘living in the now’ are at odds with each other. Working on one’s career involves planning and strategizing, which involves frequent forays into the ‘future.’ And yet, we’re told to live in the now. Perhaps that’s why I’m so bad at the latter. If you find the perfect solution, SM, please do tell. 🙂

  6. I have found that when money becomes our servant, and not our master, we can settle in to a productive life. Good post, Mom.

  7. “It can fill you up psychologically, financially, physically, emotionally, and philosophically.”

    This statement is huge! It is also one of the must difficult things any of us ever do with our lives, finding that thing we love and making it our ‘career’. Making it pay the bills and letting us rest peacefully at night. You would be shocked at how many people have ‘careers’ they despise, ‘careers’ that are really nothing more than soul sucking jobs. Finding that perfect mix, that thing we love to do that fills us up too, I think it is sometimes the hardest thing in the world.

  8. I know it sounds like a cliché, but to me a career should be something you’d do for free. I think the thing I love doing that much is writing. And someday I would want to do just that. It’s really hard to juggle your career with the stuff that pays the rent. Especially when a lot of people will tell you that your dream isn’t worth a damn or that you’re not good enough, or the ever-popular—don’t give up your day job.
    Nice post. SM.

  9. Great post, SM. I chose a career even after being told I would never get rich doing it. I wanted to write and would get paid for it. I should have taken the money jobs and wrote on the side. You will do well, SM. As becca3416 points out, you really are funny! You are creating and building and the business, as tough as it may be, will in the end be good for you on all fronts! I can see all that and I’m not even a psychic. (Although my daughter once told me that my aura was bright orange and shot several feet above my head.- It scared her. Good luck to you and growing success! And enjoy those muffins this weekend!

  10. “Stop focusing on the “scene” of the ____________ and try to re-focus on the creating of things.”
    Yes. Yesyesyes. From his lips to my eyes. I’m in a similar predicament. Must stop creating imaginary hurdles, or fearing real hurdles, and just start running.

  11. I once knew a man who made small pieces of furniture. He was shitty at it. The furniture was shitty, too. However, he started going to small town fairs and craft days and selling a piece or two here and there and it was enough for him. He found a niche for shitty furniture. I have heard your act. I have read your blogs. I have seen your twitter posts. You are not shitty at what you do. You are, in fact, quite good. But what you need it your niche. You need something that separates you from the madding crowd. You have found “home” in your personal life and you need to find “home” in your professional life. What is Becky’s greatest strength and who needs to profit from that strength? Can I make an off the wall suggestion — children’s books. I know there are plenty out there, but I’m thinking that you could be a “sweet mother” in that way. Well, I may be totally off base, but remember, find a niche that makes you happy and it will make others happy, too. HF

  12. This post got me thinking about my own job and career….
    Sweet Mom i work as Content Writer thats the job but i want to build a career from what i love…writing… i wish to, someday, put my writing above the job and get something out of it…but it will take time..more than that it will need commitment from my end ..
    i wish to be like your friend..quit the job and follow the passion…. someday maybe…

  13. I’m right there with you Sweet Mother! Right now I’m in retail, but hopefully it’s just the means to the end like your friend. I have an apprenticeship with a theater company, and hopefully through that I can build up myself to the point where I can make myself a career. I have a huge advantage in that I’m young and already have figured this out and I am lucky enough to be debt-free. Hang in there, we can only go up from here!

  14. This post got me thinking a lot. Something else to consider is that people’s dreams and careers can change. So something that was once someone’s dream job is now not so much unfortunately.

    I’m still looking for love but not really at the same time. I’m open to it but I’m not looking because it’s not something that interests me at the moment. Self love and learning to be selfish are my main priorities at the moment. I’m loving it 🙂

    I’m not sure what my dream job will be…but I’ll let you know when I think of it 🙂 it may involve cupcakes… 😛

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