How to know when you’ve officially reached OLD. Or maybe you just have an old soul. Whatever it is, the ‘symptoms’ are listed below.
When you use a hashtag and some nascent ne’er-do-well without fully descended testicles exclaims, “WHY DID YOU USE A HASHTAG ON WORDPRESS? HASHTAGS ARE FOR TWITTER, WHAT ARE YOU 100 YEARS OLD?!” (Answer: yes.)
When you become obsessed with the website: www.houzz.com
When you can’t make it through a 2 hour movie without falling asleep even when it’s one you were really, really looking forward to.
You start calculating how much money you’d need to live out the rest of your life without speaking to anyone that annoys you.
Alcohol and good food become just as enticing as a trip to Belize.
You enjoy children, but you love giving them back to their parents even more.
You hear yourself saying, “The generic brand is just as good!” just like your own dad would’ve said.
Stretching means getting up from a chair and laying down on a couch.
You understand -deeply- why little kids enjoy napping and snack time so much.
You start arriving places early so you can, “beat the crowd” and then leaving before the crowd arrives.
Your credit score becomes important and not just “fun money.”
You realize that maybe your twitter feed is not a reasonable legacy to leave the world.
You stop arguing because you realize that after your done arguing with said person, you’ll still think they’re an a**hole. So, why start?
You have no memory of your own 20s and every 20 year old you see seems like a cheap imitation of Amanda Bynes or Lindsay Lohan. (And that’s saying something.)
You love your age because you can see things and people for what they really are — beautiful hot messes. You join in when you like and the rest of the time you ensconce yourself into the folds of the people that matter most.
Perhaps age is more than just a number. Maybe it’s a badge of honor.
Sweet Mother is updated as frequently as possible. Click the follow button and join me.