Do You Have to Be a Professional Photographer to Blog?

This is how I take pictures.

What is that?

This is how everyone else on the internet takes pictures.

Really, I don’t see much of a difference.

This pisses me off.  I can not help when I was born.  I can not help the fact that the first home computer I knew of was the Commodore Vic 20.

I can not help the fact that I fell asleep in my high school computer class because the entire semester consisted of learning one line of code, typing it on to the screen, and hitting return, only to be rewarded with this thrilling experience:

SEE SPOT RUN.
SEE SPOT RUN.
SEE SPOT RUN.
SEE SPOT RUN.
SEE SPOT RUN.

I mean, kill me now.

I’ve always loved video games, but not enough to strap a headset to my face and interect with other nerds across the country while pretending we’re virtual army assasins with more firepower than the entire United States military put together.  I don’t have that kind of time.  I’ll play Donkey Kong every now and again or a little drunken Guitar Hero with friends, sometimes I even get crazy and play some Wii Tennis, but that’s it.

Why?  Because I want to write.  I spend a lot of time doing that.  That’s what I want to do.

It’s a strong desire.  And even with that strong desire to WRITE not take photos, I find myself feeling inadequate because I have an Android phone and not an iphone and iphone works better with INSTAGRAM.  Everyone who blogs knows that Instagram just looks feckin’ cool.  I have a droid, therefore I might as well be wearing knock off jeans at a school full of rich kids.

I mean, kill me now – twice.

I can’t draw either.  This is how I draw.

Could use some work before they give me an exhibit.

But, if I knew how to cartoon or take better pictures THEN people would come for the writing.  It’s like having to learn gymnastics to get people to notice you can really play soccer.  Here’s my no-handed aerial into a backflip, now can I play fullback?

WTF.

Well, I refuse to learn.  I’m starting my own activist group instead.  It’s called O.B.W.A.T.S..  OBWATS stands for OCCUPYING BLOG WITHOUT ANY TECHNICAL SKILLS.

And as my first artistic protest project, I’d like to offer up this series of horrible pictures.  If you can guess what any of them are, I’ll know you’ve read this far.  And that in the end is something.

Is it a heli? or a winged bird?

A ghost vomiting, perhaps?

Definitely the flash of light you’ll see before it all goes black…

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Sunset Photo credit