Fake Studies That I Wish Were True (#342)

After yesterday’s heavier post, it’s time for a lighter one.

 

 

Introducing…

 

FAKE STUDIES THAT I WISH WERE TRUE:

 

1.  Drinking red wine, coupled with a wine and cheese plate per day, will lead to thinness and longevity if done daily over a ten year period.

 

2.  People who get their lives together in their 40s often admired by their peers and experience renewed skin coats that give them the appearance of youth.

 

3.  Studies show that being stuck in traffic for 1 hr per day makes you a more patient and compassionate person.

 

4.  Blogging leads to monetary gain over the spans of a lifetime.

 

funny money

“Makin’ paper…”

5.  Staring at a computer for inordinate amounts of time enables one to evolve eyes that can see into the future.

 

6.  Being friends with ne’er-do-wells leads to better investment practices.

 

7.  Working from a chair for 8 hours may yield to the invention of a better chair.

 

awesome chair

Is there a way to get this “chair” for my day to day?

8.  Writing nonsense several times a day can lead to lucrative career in the bullsh*t business.

 

9.  Reading the news helps one to develop an adroitness at speaking foreign languages.

 

10.  Cleaning your house floods your brain with the same endorphins that one experiences when giving to a charitable organization.

 

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Sweet Mother is updated daily-ish on the quest to 365 consecutive posts.  Join me by clicking the “follow” button at the top of the page.

 

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Photo creds:

buddhist chair, money-honey