1. Yes, I know that’s not how you spell “thru,” it’s through. How long until someone tells me I’ve misspelled thru/ through in the title?
2. Roseanne Barr needs to stop running for President. She needs to quietly smoke some marijuana and grill her pineapples on the barbie in Hawaii. It’s called, “enjoying your fortune.” Roseanne, let’s give that a try.
And what is with the weird sock puppet arm?
3. Why does every election related headline on the Huffingtonpost homepage sound like a movie Arnold Schwarzenegger should star in? “Judgement Day!” “Decision Damnation!” “Fatal Fight.” “Election Blowout.” “Hellfire and Democracy!” Calm down, Huffpo. Calm down.
4. Facebook is fecking all of us. I need to write a post about how facebook is feckin’ us all. Here’s where you should start reading to gear up for my “Facebook is Feckin’ Us” post – click here.
5. Hitting the wall in blogging is like being excited about school for the first semester and then planning how to become a stowaway on some kind of cruise-liner to get yourself the hell out of boring school for the second semester. Sometimes I feel like that. Sorry blog.
6. When I take an antihistamine, it cures my allergies, but it also makes me walk around like a bitchy Zombie. So, I’m never sure what to do. Do I take one for the team and just deal with the splitting sinus headache or do I became walk of the living, menstruating, dead?!
Claritin, this is your f’en fault!
7. I wish I were one of those MEN who liked to cook because when you’re a man and you like to cook people are all like, “Oh, that’s so cool. He’s handsome and he likes to cook too! What a gifted and modern guy.” But, when you’re a woman and sometimes you like to cook, people look at you and think, “What a waste of an education.”
8. Should I have another piece of toast? Carbs are the feckin’ enemy.
9. Why did I not get my polling place location and Wifesy did? I’m going to go to the same polling place as her because we live at the same address. Duh. Now, if they don’t have my name down, even though I have my voter registration card, little do they know I will run to every polling place in the state of California until I find mine. I will do this, even though I know full well my entire state of California will go blue by 3pm. It feels like my civic / citizenly duty.
10. Lastly, If you need a break from Yankee Election Day stuff, head on over to Canadica today. Writer, Wendy Reid, posted an AWESOME piece that I call, “All Hail the Blue Law.” It is a fantastic post and a wonderful break that reminds us all not to take everything so seriously, especially teachers who prefer to wear their hair in a “bob.” Head over there and you’ll see what I mean or click here.
Much love,
Sweet Mother
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Sweet Mother is updated daily-ish with writerly things that I find amusing. If you’d like to follow this blog, you can do so by clicking the “follow” prompt at the top of the page – there you can either follow at WordPress or enter your email.
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Sweet Mother 
Try taking Claritin (the Costco brand is great). Oops, just noted that zombie girl says claritin is the problem. Zyrtec? By the way, if zombies like blood, isn’t menstruating and zombies a killer? Maybe blog less- not daily. It may help you feel fresh and not so pressured to produce. Seriously, about the cooking. Seriously. Roseanne? Really? Fight for your right to vote Mom; fight! Hop over and see why we’re both miserable today. Seriously, this woman thing sucks some days. Sucks big-bleeding-zombie-male-headaches-that-can’t-vote-or-eat-charbs. Feel better mother. xox
And yeah, rest of you, I got to be first to like this. Nananabooboo… says the other cranky blogger chick.
looooooolll. i really need to come up with some sort of prize. ;0
I win, I win!
my allergy meds knocked me out so bad yesterday, it was ridiculous. and maybe that means a female zombie has to kill herself?! because of the blood thing? loool. oh, no. yes, i just said it. and for sure, i’ll head over to your blog today… xo, sm
With antihistamines, there really can be a difference just in brand names. (From a medical household:) Sometimes you really have to try a few to figure out what works best for you. See if your dr can give you samples. xo
i refuse to take the ‘claritin challenge.’ claritin never works for me and everything else puts me in a bitchy coma. it’s like i have jet lag. i want to sleep and everyone who gets in my way gets bitched at. it blows. xo
Claritin and zyrtec don’t work for me either. A few years ago I was introduced to Singulair. It works amazingly for me: http://allergies.about.com/od/faq/f/singulair.htm
it’s about the only one i haven’t tried, me thinks, pinksy… will give it a shot… xo
#7 oh my #7. bahahaha. also, stop stealing my post ideas. i had one called “the mind of eurolinguiste” which was pretty much the same thing. but now i’m not going to post it because yours was better. xoxox
i know… #7 is my fave too. i mean, what in the feck. loooool. post that ‘mind of eurolinguiste’ it will be awesome. and probably in two languages, which is far better than i could ever do. looool. xoxo, sm
yeah #7 was definitely the best, but the one about toast came close second.
1. Drive-thru Head
2. Yes
3. Get to tha Choppa!
4. Yup!
5. Blogger’s Block aka Fuck em
6. I vote zombie bitch
7. My gf reads your blog, so I refrain from commenting.
8. Yes
9. Please vote in Ohio
10. Radical!
OMFECKIN’GOD. BEST COMMENT EVA AWARD. and for you, mr nostalgia genius, i used the 1980s ‘eva’. you’ll be happy to know i used to use it on notebooks that also contained bubble stickers and words like, ‘best friends 4eva.’ loooool. xoxoxoxo to you AND your girlfriend. is she reading, is she reading, where is she? oh, thank god. she’s here. wait, that’s just my other personality. okay, we’ll wait. looool. ;0 sm
Hi Momma!!! Great post, I say fuck anyone who comments on thru/through. These same people probably use text speak all the time!
I’m with Mabukach ,,, I say go for zombie bitch at least you’ll breathe clearly.
Much luv! .. Janet
janet, i heart you. zombie bitch it is. and welcome to the blog. you’re an outstanding addition here! much love, sm
Oh, I’ve been here for a very long time thru (solidarity bitches!) a couple incarnations of myself … says the writer formerly called Gills by only you 😉
But, I’m glad to be here again 🙂
ohhhhhhhhhhhh, me too then. and i knew i ‘recognized’ something. so glad to see you back. i miss you. much love, sm
#7 is top class. What’s ironic about it is that it works both ways : If a woman says she doesn’t know how to cook, people think “Then what can you do?”
It’s like breaking stereotypes is magically wrong either way 🙂
seriously, i might have to put that one into the act. because it’s soooo true. i think i would add:
‘when men cook, ppl think what a handsome, smart, modern man.’
when women cook ppl think, ‘what a waste of an education.’
when martha stewart cooks ppl think, ‘there goes wall street.’
something like that. loooooollll. xo, sm
I suspect thru is a remnant spelling that would have been viewed as normal and correct in the history of the English language. Just like a double negative shows up consistantly, in documents hundreds and hundreds of years old, up into early modern English as a standard way to reinforce a negative. Then some idiot decided to codify the language and used latin as a base structure and told us we can’t do that any more.
Okay, now that that is off my chest. I know a lot of women who are fantastic cooks. No one thinks it is a waste of eductaions. Mostly because everyone wants to keep going to their places for holidays and parties. Some women are just natural hostess/entertainers and do kitchen magic with the most basic of ingredients.
i can not do “kitchen magic,” tho (another intentional misspelling) i love the term. perhaps, i overspoke? what i can do is feckin houdini shit with a recipe. a recipe that lists everything i have to do. i think i love lists. if only there was a list for my writing career. wait, i think today’s post shows that i love lists… xoxoxoxoxoxo, sm
Lists are great. I love making to do lists. I make them daily. Sometimes, I spend more time making lists than doing the things on the lists.
lists are love. well, not really, but you know… ;0
Oh man, I pulled the plug on FB. I just have a page for the blog that I activated through an email address so byebye newsfeed that used to make me want to throw things at my computer! And I kind of like how Roseanne is toying with me with her socket puppet arm. Hmmm…how isn’t she president yet??
fb is really, REALLY pushing it. and i’m going to post on it, as soon as i get my thoughts sussed out. and roseanne is killing me! tho, i do want to live in her house from the roseanne sitcom. i mean, come on, who wouldn’t want to? looool.
Can’t wait to read that post and chime in! And I still remember that afghan on the back of the couch on that show. Oh TV, how you’ve permanently rotted my brain!
point number 7…hahahahahaha….Sweet Mom i think thats the best laugh i had today…thankyou …still laughing …
it’s kind of my fave too… looool. ;0 sm
Re: #9, I don’t know. My husband got one, too, and I didn’t. I was wondering yesterday if it’s because he’s a registered member of a political party and I am a registered Independent. Hmmm… Well, joke’s on them. I knew and voted. Take that!
i know, so weird, huh? i thought maybe it was because i’ve moved here and wifesy has been a registered voter in ca before. whatever it is, i don’t like it. it gives me the nervy-creeps. but, i will head off to the polling spot regardless! xo, sm
I just recently joined Facebook, and already it’s messing with me. I enjoy your random thoughts, SM. Your brain is fun.
my brain is crazy. loool. i just sent you interview. take your time with it and have fun. xo, sm
Thanks!
Don’t correct her spelling….don’t correct her spelling….:-P
feck that. wait, fuck that. seeeeeeee, much nicer my way. looool. xo
If you say so 😉
I’ve been struggling with the antihistamine problem all day, too! I need one badly, but my husband is out of town and our baby woke me up at 6am after I was up writing half the night, so I’m afraid if I take one I will pass out dead and our baby will be left to her own devices and go on a reign of terror.
Also, I love to cook. But I agree: something about being a female cooking makes people look at you and think, My god, that poor girl.
And I’m in a blogging slump, too. Meh, life. Just meh it.
meh, indeed. the slump will break. or my blog will. one of the two. my guess is you’ll bounce back as well. but, no demon baby. you’ll have to stay off the tavist-d till hubby re-appears. tavist-d, btw, is like the 8-track of allergy meds. it was created back when sonny bono was a singer… loooool. stay strong, aa, stay strong. momma
My 2nd vote today, take the antihistamine! Post-antihistamine post will make for a great read! I might be a little self serving!
loooooooool. this is what my post antihistamine post would look like: aawery9aseriaseroaesru97xdr9auwer97w40-q23842=3 – now that’s not that entertaining, is it? sigh. maybe it is. ;0 sm
whoops I hope my first vote today doesn’t turn out to be this wrong!
1) You mispelled “threw” n your title. (LOL, I had to do it. You asked for me to. :D) See what I did there?
2) Grilling *anything* while smoking weed is hard. Have you tried that? I burned my knuckles while lighting my blunt…
3) I don’t read Huffpo anymore. Too full of crap, not enough fact.
4) Need more info.
5) Me, too.
6) Zombies suck, so no zombie bitch. Go for non-sparkling Vampire Bitch. Much scarier.
Feck it. Lists are hard. I’ll end by saying, “I cook, and the young woman I’m interested in bakes. We’ll be a great team in the kitchen. If you like to cook, feck the other knuckleheads who don’t get that. As long as you don’t mind cooking bacon, I’ll still love you. 🙂 Carbs aren’t the enemy. That’s more Huffpo bs. Carbs are needed to survive.
Didja have to go through a feck ton of hoops to vote?
voted! wasn’t so hard. i like your list. A LOT. still cook bacon. in fact, converted the wifesy from vegetarian to carnivore. can handle the vagitarian. the vegetarian not so much. me loves bacon. your bakin’ lady sounds nice. 😉 moms
Glad you liked the list. Sorry it wasn’t more original. Brain is on “Standby Mode”.
A few years ago, I bought a shirt that said, “Vagatarian. 50 pleased.” I wore it until it fell apart. Congrates on persuading Wifsey to switch. Carnivores Unite!
Liked your Tues. thoughts especially #7 because word. Word! And as I read this I was shoveling cous cous rapidly into my mouth because me loves me some carbs.
I’m so nervous, I cannot wait to see who wins Louisiana. said no one ever.
I have often thought that the headlines on HuffPo are written as a social experiment. They want to see how much people will tolerate before we revolt.
There is a perception that I cannot cook – I can. Whenever there is a potluck at work I am asked to bring paper plates. I invited my friends over for a BBQ and they all brought so much food because they were sure I didn’t cook – like would I ask you to dinner and not provide food. I have never understood this. Sometimes I like this, like when I don’t need to cook the night before a party:)
He WON Mum 😀 The Daughter and I have been celebrating all night. 😀 And apparent 31 of 32 countries around the world are glad he did. The one exception was Israel….
We are breathing a sigh of relief here in Canada with the election results. Seriously, I don’t think we get this worked up about our own elections. Now, tell me were you on the list at the voting station? Was there a caffuffle? Did you have to run around to all the polling stations in California?
I think Rosanne’s sock puppet is like Mel Gibson’s beaver puppet, in that we’re supposed to address the puppet and not her directly. If she glued on some wiggly eyes, I’d be down for that.
I hit my blogging wall and now I’m lying beside it wishing someone would bring me an inspirational cocktail. Toast would also be good. Carbs and alcohol–that’s a good diet plan. Maybe I should do some leg lifts while I’m down here to counteract the carbs and alcohol..