Games, we all love them. My mother, who was recently locked in the house with my father for days without lights, learned every damn card game in the book. These are the gifts that Hurricane Sandy gave them – the ability to beat anyone at cribbage. I find myself coming up with ridiculous games recently, probably because my brain needs a break. Usually, whenever my brain is overly taxed, I have a reoccurring dream where I do nothing, but hit baseballs thrown at me via a pitching machine over and over and over, like some kind of deranged cast member in League of Their Own.
Recently, however, my brain is making up games. I’m not sure they’re any good, but feck it, let’s play them anyway.
Today’s game I like to call, “Phrase-Break.”
Sounds like, Prison Break, but with a whole dollop more nerd on top.
Okay, so in “Phrase-Break,” I throw out a sentence or two and from the “clues” you have to pick out the phrase or saying (idiom) that I am referencing. You have to “break” it out of its nonsense.
Here’s an example:
“As I walked into the Asian store, the security guard kept looking at me sideways, but I didn’t break a thing.”
Answer: LIKE A BULL IN A CHINA SHOP.
See…It’s easy. I try to pull you away from the phrase and you try to find your way back to it like Lassie.
All you have to do to play is leave the phrase “answers” in the comments section. Winners will receive “virtual” gifts from me. And, I mean, who doesn’t like “virtual” gifts? Virtual nincompoops, that’s who!
Ok, let us begin. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you…. (drum roll, please!)
PHRASE – BREAK
1. “The dentist worked on me, even though I was wrapped in a bow…”
2. “I told him about the crisp located near his neck and he was pissed…”
I say “sweatpants,” you say “joggybottoms.”
3. “The gentleman gave me two prosthetics to pay his fee.”
4. “Fido went towards the tree that was NOT pictured on Google maps.”
5. “…between a HUDSON and a boner.”
6. “Jamie Olive, Emeril Lagasee, and Paul Deen tried to make the soup. It was a disaster.”
7. “Against all advice to the contrary, the guy lived in a greenhouse and practiced the shot put.”
7 answers to win your virtual dreams today, at Sweet Mother, when you play PHRASE-BREAKER. Wait, should I call it “phrase-break or phrase-breaker?”
I want the one that sounds more like this feels…
Maybe the best game ever?
Thanks for playing. Thanks for being you…and good night.
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Sweet Mother 