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What Life Would Be Like If I Wrote A Travel Blog

Good morning, all.  I’m having a late start of it today as I contemplate things.  One of the things that I am contemplating is what my life would be like if I had a travel blog.  I often contemplate this.  However, I never attempt it because, well, there are people who do it far better than I ever would.  Not to mention, it’s probably one of the most competitive blogging niches out there.  I’m already involved in one competitive business – comedy – and for me that is way more than enough.

 

I love the idea of it though.  Travel, write, relax, cruise, note, photograph, eat, and repeat.  There are writers who excel at this.  For example, my friend Lauren has an awesome-travel-blog.  Her and her husband took a year off from life.  That’s right an entire year, to travel, while they were young, even.  I love hearing their stories about it.  Not to mention, I like travel PEOPLE.  They always seem to know where everything great is.  Like the time Lauren said to us, “There’s a cool, underground, Korean, brunch in the back of a dive bar in San Francisco where we should go…”  We went and it was awesome.  Only like 4 tables.  Only about 10 items on the menu and I’m pretty sure the chef cooked everything up in his apartment and then had it brought down.  I’m not kidding.  Regardless, it was awesome.  Then there’s Lesley Carter.  I stop by her blog frequently.  She talks about fun things, travel-ish things, and somehow, some way, I think she even managed to make money off her WP blog.  Now, how in the hell does one do that?!  She also gives away cool prizes – like a trip through wine country or a day at a trapeze school.  I find this amazing because I had a hard time giving away a brand new vacuum cleaner when I moved out of my New York city apartment.

 

“Take it, just take it. For god’s sake, it’s free!”

 

So, those blogging-lasses do travel better.  But, I can’t help thinking “What if…, What if…”

 

Well, I suppose if I had a travel blog it would be composed of pictures mainly in restaurants combined with excellent background scenery.  Because that’s what Wifesy and I do on vacation – we eat.  Then we get back and complain about how much we ate.

 

Usually during the trip Wifesy laments about why we’re not, “THOSE PEOPLE.”  By “those people” she means the people who are very active on a vacation.  You know, the people who go hiking the Sierras or parasailing off the Florida Keys.  After she says something like that, I mention that we are “those people.”  Well, we’re more of an amalgamation of “those people” and adorable sloths.  This means we follow breakfast and drinks with more drinks and then an hour of kayaking.  And then wings and drinks followed by an hour long walk down the beach.  I like to think of this as vacation balance.

 

Okay, it’s not the “Amazing Race,” but it IS living, goddermn it!

 

So, for our last sojourn in our reliable hybrid, we visited SLO Town, USA.  Also known as San Luis Obispo.  From there we hit Morro Bay and a little place called Cayucos.

 

It was pretty great.  Here’s the proof:

 

Travel Tip 1: Always begin and end your trip with bloody marys. That’s how you signal your body that the holiday has begun.

 

Travel Tip 2: Only ever leave fruit or veggies on your plate. Leaving anything else (like hash browns or pancakes) would be an insult to the Travel Gods.

 

Travel Tip 3: The sea always looks better when shot over the shoulder of a friendly stout.

 

Travel Tip 4: Always take the time to try on ridiculous hats.

 

Travel Tip 5: Always take a picture of a random road to remind oneself of the road less traveled…even though you have just traveled down it.

 

Travel Tip 6: If the sun is c*ckblocking your photo-op, take the photo at a weird angle and tell yourself it’s “artsy.”

 

Travel Observation 7: You may actually snag an award-worthy, travel blog shot…and yet, it will be the most disgusting of the bunch.

 

Travel Tip 8: When you’re not sure what to do next, stop for good beer and chicken wings to help you think.

 

Travel Observation 9: Feel awkward when those chicken wings remind you of your adorable pooch’s paws. Create the connection forever by leaving the evidence on your blog.

 

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Photo creds:  All mine with the exception of vacuum

 

24 thoughts on “What Life Would Be Like If I Wrote A Travel Blog

  1. I like the way you and Wifesy travel, SM. My vacations generally involve nothing but food, cocktails and lounging. Maybe one trip to some sort of cultural-type place just for the heck of it, but that’s about it.

    1. ooooooooooooh, sistah. we have much in common! every now and again we do something crazy like when we went cliff jumping in scuba gear off the coast of wales, which was pretty awesome and a near drowning experience. but, the rest of the trip was pretty much surrounded by good beer… tee, he….xoxox, sm

  2. I get so jealous of people who are paid to travel! I always tell myself that they must’ve sold their souls to Mephistopheles (thank you muchly, Autocorrect, on help with that one) in order to have such an awesome life. It makes me feel better for about ten seconds, and then I realize that I’d fork my own soul over if I got to take a food tour of France on someone else’s dime.

    1. there used to be this show called, ‘bump’ on logo and all this cute, chubby girl got to do was go to the ultra-cool, ultra gay friendly travel places of europe, canada, and the us. i used to cry a little when i watched that show, which was not what i think they intended… so, i understand. oh, i understand. loool.

  3. My mother-in-law is one of those people. 60 years old, diabetic, recent winner of a double heart bypass…but just you wait until you get her in a foreign country. In Italy she jam packed our itinerary so that we saw ever single thing there was to see in a 50km radius from where we were staying. Once she left to go back home Dear Wife and I stayed for another week…for the first two days we slept. I mean we were staying on an organic wine and olive farm in the middle of Tuscany dammit. Sometimes it is good to just lie in bed and stare out over the Tuscan landscape while drinking a nice Chianti or bubbly Prosecco. In Italy, we ate some bad and mediocre pizza, lots of spectacular icecream, and the best gnocci of my life that I still dream about. The best meals we ate (other than the amazing gnocci) was mostly stuff we cooked ourselves with wonderful fresh produce, like orange and star aniseed mussels. Hmmmm

  4. Vacations are supposed to be about eating and drinking, right? Taking pics and leaving them on your camera disc for months and then finding and trying to figure out exactly where you were when you took them.

  5. My problem is that I pack too much into a vacation so that I feel exhausted once it’s over. A bad habit handed down generations. I could take a few pointers from you. Pass the wings!

  6. There are competitive blog niches? So my poetry, photography, gardening, indie author, witty observations of life’s absurdities blog isn’t gonna cut it, is it?

  7. i would read your travel blog; that’s how I vacation too. Although instead of the kayaking maybe a massage or something. I don’t want to strain myself. And good gravy, you’re lucky to live in California so close to such good vacation spots. We try to hit Monterey every year and I always come back 10 lbs heavier. After 4 days.

    I also chuckled at the throwing down of the laundry and objects from the balcony. My husband and I do that too, but lament the fact that our kids now do it without regard for heavy objects on our hardwood floors.

    1. roller, this is a great comment. thank you for leaving it. yep, we always need a vacation from the vacation. i am new to california, so i am just starting to enjoy all the good things and beachy things it has to offer. so far i LOVE it. and the loft-throwing-things is endlessly fun. thank god no kids yet because altho i’d love them, i’d probably get carried away right along with them. and no one wants a small dresser thrown down into the living room from the loft space, even if it ‘feels right’. loool. much love, roller, much love. sm

  8. Perhaps you could write a blog about travelling to various incredible and little known chicken wing establishments. Now there is a travel blog I could devour!

  9. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT ever travel to Norco, CA. That’s where I visit my sister and take part in the Norco Days parade by walking a llama and wearing a hat just like that ridiculous one you showed…the thing about walking with llamas, though, is that no one ever notices your hat. Besides, it’s too hot to visit. Norco, not the hat.

  10. I’m the a-hole who reads travel blogs and just constantly thinks “how do you afford to do nothing but travel? I hate you and am too jealous to enjoy what you’re writing.” and then I have to log off and go to work, a place I do not fun stuff for money instead of traveling!

  11. SM, I’m glad our travel stories tickle your awesome bone! There’s so much that drove our year of travel while young, including being miserly anti-stuff car-phobes and a fear of not living to be old enough to retire. Fear is very motivating, and frugality can fund it!

    Travel itself unfortunately doesn’t pay us. Travel bloggers out there that make a living out of it are often amazingly dexterous, fiercely focused monetizing mermaids, who turn into different creatures when they’re off-the-blog, able to swim in the same waters as PR companies, tourism boards, e-book shillers, and affiliate marketers. It’s a way to make a living traveling that I haven’t hooked into yet. I dream too of making a living off it.

    For now I’ll keep finding hole in the wall local food joints. It’s one of my superpowers!

  12. Love it!! My friend’s grandmother has a vacation rental place in Cayucos, so I’ve definitely spent some time there. I love bar-hopping in that town: you go to the saloon, then cross the one lane high way to the pirate-themed restaurant with the full bar upstairs. And repeat until satisfied.

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