Reggie Reader Profile #8 (Don’t Call It A Blogroll.)

Oh, it’s been a cruel, cruel summer.  I started this blog out with such a fervor.  I was in a frenzy.  I was frackin’ dedicated.  I’m still dedicated, but I’ve got the wahs and the blahs.  If this long, hot, cruel, summer doesn’t end soon, I fear I’ll have nothing left to write about, but paper bags.  Don’t think I won’t do it?  I will.  Heck, I could talk about the plastic bag right now… Did you know the sanitation departments of America often refer to plastic bags as, “Satan’s resin” because they never feckin’ break down?  Did you know that Los Angeles has nearly outlawed the plastic bag?  I have a joke for that and it goes:

 

Los Angeles has outlawed the plastic bag.  You have no idea how funny it is to watch Tom Cruise pick up dog poop with a bev nap and a pair of salad tongs.

 

But, you see, I threatened to talk about PAPER bags and now I’m talking about plastic ones.  I am always, always getting off track lately, it seems.

 

I suppose certain questions make it into the Americana dictionary like the sentence, “Pepsi or Coke?”  “Paper or Plastic?”  “Paltry or Sweet?”  Maybe that last one doesn’t make sense to you, but I promise it will in a moment.  As I toil through the summer doldrums, I’ve been looking around the tumbleweed-filled blogosphere that is WordPress on break from school.  I’ve been looking around for inspiration.  Even though there are a lot less eyes on said blogs, there is a lot of creativity happening.  One place to find it is within the blog-o-cubbie of this week’s Reggie:

 

PALTRY MEANDERINGS

 

Paltry says margs make her craptastic.  Though this picture was taken a while ago and she is currently both alcohol-free AND vegan now, which is making me think EVERYTHING must make her craptastic these days.  I mean, I had kale last night and no.  That’s all I can say is, “No!”

 

I took a short reader’s jaunt through Paltry / Cristy’s blog… (and keep in mind there’s nothing “paltry” about Cristy, I’m simply using her real name for people in the know.  Or not so in the know, but who now know because I’ve told them.  Oh, you get it.)  Well, her blog made me want to forgo my own blog and just read hers by a beach somewhere all summer.  You know, I want to crack her blog at the spine and get on a floaty with it as my margarita melts in the cup holder.  Oh, yes, I do.  I truly do.  Suffice it to say, everything she writes is good.  It’s all interesting, and funny, and meaty, just the way I happen to like my writing.  There’s her most recent piece on the Huffington Post’s limbo dance under a very low bar, there’s her wonderful soliloquy on the right of a dining customer to one’s own table salt, there’s a mini-piece where she goes toe to toe with a child resulting in the term, “baby rhyme,” and then there’s the Alan Alda debacle.  Oh, how I wish I had been there for the Alan Alda-scapade.  I would have died laughing.

 

If you know what’s good for you, you’ll follow PALTRY MEANDERINGS OF A TALLER THAN AVERAGE WOMAN no matter what height you are.  If you’re a writer, you can’t afford not to.

 

I also happen to love good dialogue written by a good writer.  You will find a lot that at meanderings and the beauty is that it’s always laser focused.  I just can not say enough good things.  I heard about Cristy through another writer and when you start hearing about another blog via word of mouth, chances are it’s because they’re very good.

 

I’m not the only one who thinks so.  Cristy’s PALTRY is so good that it was “Freshly Pressed” right after her very first post.  Let me repeat that.  HER BLOG WAS FRESHLY PRESSED THE VERY FIRST TIME SHE EVER PRESSED THE PUBLISH BUTTON.

 

I don’t even know how that’s possible.  But, I do know that in the lonely world of blogging, it’s nice to know there are other strong, writer, professionals out there.  It’s comforting, to say the least.  So, follow her and you can thank me later.

 

Much love,

 

Mother

 

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Sweet Mother is updated nearly daily.  To subscribe via email, click the “follow” button at the top of the blog.

 

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82 thoughts on “Reggie Reader Profile #8 (Don’t Call It A Blogroll.)

  1. They recently outlawed plastic bags in Toronto. Believe me there are a lot of people who would buy the mayor a dog so they could witness him doing the doggie doo with the tongs and nappy.
    Thanks for pointing me to “Paltry Meanderings”, I look forward to checking it out.

    1. doing the doo doo with tongs and a nappy. i couldn’t have said it better myself. loool. 😉 mich, you’ll love paltries and your reggie is coming up soon too… oxoxo, sm

  2. Cristy and I recently had a conversation that started with ninja-spiders, went through economics based on obscenities, flirted with Trapper Keepers, and ended with why we’d both be crappy politicians. It was glorious.

    1. i swear if we lived closer, i’d have drinks with her. tho currently i’d have the drinks and she’d lick a cucumber or something equally more noble than what i’d do… bwwwaaahhhhhaaa. xoxo, sm

      1. The key is that the salt has to be in a shaker so that Cristy can apply it to her cucumber by herself. Thus she customizes her pickle.

      1. Sweety, you are too young…yes, I shrank, have shrunk, and so will you, probably. But 5’9″ to 5’8″ ain’t so bad. I still get to help the little old ladies…and even the little young guys (heheheheh!) with the top shelf.

      1. I just tell everyone they’re my flood water pants and I’m off to help Brad Pitt build another home for the thousands of displaced souls in Nawlins. Socks? I thought that was Bill Clinton’s, um, pussy. cat’s. name.

  3. Doldrums? We could sort this out and find you some trolls to give you some Trolldrums to write about….I have several. You could then deliver rapier wit, slicing and dicing their trollish dribble.

    Heading over to discover your recommendation.

    1. ugh, i’ve suffered trolls. BELIEVE me. and they suck, every time. anyhooch, don’t pay them any mind. they stink. but, cristy doesn’t. you’ll like her. starting something new tomorrow… yay! xo, sm

  4. Dear Sweet Mother,

    I am verklempt. If I was Jewish, I’d be completely and totally verklempt, but I’m a lowly agnostic who can only get a little choked up at a time. For the record, I am not abstaining from alcohol – just liquor. This just means I have to drink that much more to get drunk. Still working on the wine to vodka alcohol ratio, but I think if I down three to four bottles of pinot grigio a night, I should be good. And think of the health benefits.

    If I was more organized, I’d have sent you a photo of my cupboards…filled with cans and cans of beans. Yes, the beans – not to mention all the cabbage, broccoli and other cruciferous vegetables I’ve been eating as a new vegan – are what truly keep me regular these days and much, erm, louder about it. Despite the fact that now I only dream of crispy microwave bacon (like, every single night – damn!), I promise that I will continue to shave my legs, wear cute shoes and cuss like a sailor’s much ruder and snarkier mother. I will not start posting my favorite hummus recipes (use only olive oil and add artichoke hearts).

    BTW, you are my hero. Amaze-balls with chocolate sauce, doused in rum and lit on fire. Your blog is my textbook. Thank you for just being YOU! This is truly a great honor. I happily write in your shadow.

    xo

    CCL

    1. oh, thank god, my world dimmed a little bit when i thought of you not drinking at all like some kind of funny monk sequestered somewhere. i mean, we have to keep at least a shade of hemmingway about us, if not in the writing, then at least in the booze-filled bitching…hee, haw, hee, haw, wtf?!! xo, sm

  5. Reblogged this on Paltry Meanderings of a Taller Than Average Woman and commented:
    The Amazing Blog Goddess of the Universe, Sweet Mother, dedicated today’s post to praising my Paltry Meanderings blog. The Amazon Amaze-balls Blogger Whom I Most Admire is waxing sentimental about my writing?????? What’s next? Is David Sedaris going to show up at my door with an engagement ring? Is Aaron Sorkin going to beg me to join the writing staff for the second season of The Newsroom? Is bacon going to be declared vegan because pigs spend so much time with their noses in the mud?

    Please read, share and send Sweet Mother every bit of blog love you have. And if you aren’t reading her blog and think you’re too busy to do so, you’re wrong. Brushing your teeth two to three times a day is just a suggestion, not a friggin’ law. Sleeping – you can sleep when you’re dead (or when both Sweet Mother and I am dead and no longer blogging). Sex – ha! You weren’t having sex. Stop being silly. Immediately follow Sweet Mother, then report back to me and tell me how fucking awesome she is! Or how awesome I am. Or how awesome David Sedaris is. Even two out of three would be good.

    1. this is maybe even as good as my post! goddamn it. i salute you with a cucumber! if no ghourds are available that is. and i’m sure i’ve spelled that wrong. xoxox, sm

      1. You’d be amazed with what I can do with that cucumber. Erm, because I’m vegan now. I use them in my cooking a lot. Scoop ’em out and stuff them with veggies and rice. Wait…what were you thinking? Pervy, Sweet Mother.

  6. LOL! I think the fact that Paltry’s first post was freshly pressed gives us all HOPE that the written word will never die in the face of 90 dozen TV shows/movies being churned out every day.

    And I can’t get that image of Tom Cruise with the salad tongs out of my head! That would be an AWESOME standup joke… However, I’m thinking he probably pays someone to walk his dog, plastic bags or no… 🙂

    Thanks for mentioning PALTRY MEANDERINGS OF A TALLER THAN AVERAGE WOMAN. She sounds quite amusing, and I’m always looking for a good read, cyber-text (i.e. blogging), or paper version either way…

    And when you think about it, the difference between a Kindle/e-reader (or reading on one’s computer) and a paperback or a hardback book is a modern-day update of more than 20-year-old question of Paper or Plastic, is it not? No, neither the Kindle nor a computer is made ENTIRELY plastic, but it ain’t the homemade tree-spun variety of book either… 🙂

    Have a good FRIDAY/WEEKEND…and thanks for sharing! 🙂
    Tenaciousbitch/KS

    1. my pleasure, tenacious. i think you will like her and thank you for the awesome comment. yep, kindle or paperback? it’s the new black… lol. more or less. have a great weekend. much love, mother

  7. This is so well deserved. I have been reading Cristy for a while now but somehow had no idea about the first post FP thing. Very impressive. SM, you do a great thing here and always point readers in the right direction. I applaud this selection. Cheers to you both (I get that she still drinks wine but I will imagine her toasting with a cucumber from now on, hilarious.)

    1. too phallic, the cucumber mention, right? i just couldn’t help meself. and if you ever want to be a reggie, just send me a pic of something that keeps you regular! i’d love to do you. you know, in the blogging sense. ay yay yay. much love, sm

      1. No matter what life takes away from me, I will always have the day that Sweet Mother said she wanted to do me. I just hope you like ranch dressing haha. In a blog way of course. You are the best SM

      2. tell him to send me a goddermned pic, i’m so easy, i’m like lindsay lohan and he can even use ranch dressing. i don’t care i lost my dignity long ago!!! lol.

      1. By all means feel free to drop off my followers list if I don’t live up to your expectations. That’s only fair. Before you do, please note that the “Lust” edition of the 7 Deadly Sins competition is coming up very soon. I’ll be posting my offering, which is attached, plot-wise to my gluttony, envy and sloth posts. Each is carefully illustrated by yours truly, and as soon as I can pull myself away from this laptop, I’ll get going on the drawing.

  8. I agree. Paltrymeanderings is a great blog. I learn a lot about writing from Cristy. Also, it’s through Cristy that I found your blog! So, yeah, cheers to you both.

  9. Oh, my Lawd !!!!
    The comments section alone is worth emailing a link to everyone I know (both of them).
    SM, you’re on FIRE today, and the repartee and sharp banter you enjoy with Cristy and the other contributors make me very much want to follow your recommendation and hop over to Cristy’s place… (blog, I mean).
    If I survive I’ll be back to read your next offering tomorrow, cucumber in hand.

    1. pllllaweaseweraseraeraser, trans man, paweaseralerjaselraser…and if you understood that you are a better person than me too. when are we doing you as a reggie? all you have to do is send me a pic of a guitar eating a prune or a bran muffin…i’m just sayin’….xo, sm

      1. yes, i’ve written it out fully. please pick up your copy at the nearest LL BEAN. say hello to my ex field hockey coach while you’re there too…i’m just sayin’…again. ugh. what’s wrong with me? lol.

  10. So unbelievably deserved. Cristy is the endurance athlete of humor blogging. I still haven’t gotten over my amazement at her ability to sustain intelligent and funny commentary for as long as she does. If I were to attempt it, my personal hygiene would suffer greatly, but I hear from a reliable source that she still manages to floss. Baffling.
    That’s also how I discovered your blog. She sings the praises of Sweet Mother loudly, as does that Gemini Girl, Stacie Chadwick.

    1. Oh, Fathead…”endurance athlete of humor blogging” is just a nice way of saying that I am verbally incontinent. But you know what they say, “Pepto Bismal makes writing dismal.” Actually, no one says that but me and that’s because I just made it up. But it’s gonna catch on. Just you wait.

      1. Oh no. I’ve known many who suffer from verbal incontinence and there is a very big difference–namely that you are entertaining throughout and I don’t find myself silently screaming, “Oh sweet Jesus, make it stop!” halfway through a post. That is talent, because I’m a silent screamer.

      2. she is talented like that, you are right. btw, i am also a silent screamer, most of the day. a couple of times it even gets out… loool. much love, sm

  11. I have been following paltrymeanderings for just two posts now, and I already take a lot of inspiration from her bold, razor-sharp humor! It’s through her I found your blog too 🙂

  12. Dear Becks and Cristy,

    More than anything else in my blogging bestie’s reggie profile, I personally love the statement, “I heard about Cristy through another writer.” Why? Because I’m that other writer. Being the “other writer” is kind of like being “food sanitation worker number three” in an awesome movie, or maybe, as it pertains to blogging, that cute kid with the glasses to Tom Cruise and Renee Zellwegger in Jerry Maguire.

    I’ll let you two figure out who’s Tom and who’s Renee, because just like that cute kid, Renee’s career seems to be completely absent from the screen. Tom, on the other hand, will continue to pump out multi-zillion dollar mega-hits until the cryogenic freezer he sleeps in every night breaks down. I’d love to know what the hell Katie Holmes has on him, but now I’m straying completely off-topic.

    It makes my heart sing to see the lovefest going on here and know that, as sanitation worker number three, I’ve officially blessed, dare I say created, this union, and can attest to the fact that there are no STDs in the house.

    Plus Tom and Kate can now officially be added to the tags of both of your posts, thus ensuring 10,000 hits for each of you.

    Much love, admiration, and wishing that my pre-menstrual hormones would allow me to sleep instead of commenting on blogs in the middle of the night,

    Stacie

    1. Dear food sanitation worker number three,
      I loved you in that movie, especially since Renee’s pout makes me cringe.
      I have to thank a random wordpress search under “humor blogs” for showing me Paltry Meanderings and a whole bunch of decidedly not funny things. (Oddly enough, I don’t think wordpress knows what a humor blog is.)
      I found you in Cristy’s comments. She called you her blogging bestie and I thought to myself, “a woman who loves David Sedaris would only befriend a truly entertaining writer.” I was right and now I find all of my reading material (including Sweet Mother) by cruising comment sections like some sort of blog pervert.
      Sincerely,
      food sanitation worker number four

      1. dear blog pervert,

        i find that cruising the comments section of entertaining blogs is the ONLY way to find good content. that and the recs of other solid bloggers. for that, you will be getting a follow from me. and if someone like stace is reading my blog comments at 3am then i’m doing something right here. what that is, i’m not sure. but, regardless, i’m duly humbled by the presence of such a trio of fabulosity. the trio being fathead (sorry, but you named yourself!), stace, and cristy. much love, momma bear

      2. dear blog pervert,

        i find that cruising the comments section of entertaining blogs is the ONLY way to find good content. that and the recs of other solid bloggers. this is undoubtedly the reason why i follow you, ff. and if someone like stace is reading my blog comments at 3am then i’m doing something right here. what that is, i’m not sure. but, regardless, i’m duly humbled by the presence of such a trio of fabulosity. the trio being fathead (sorry, but you named yourself!), stace, and cristy. much love, momma bear

      3. If I’m gonna be forced to wear a hair net, I’m lucky to stand by your side, food sanitation working number four.

        There is an entire post just waiting to be written on being a blog comment perv. It’s so good I can smell a Freshly Pressed post. Write it. LOVE that!

  13. Great review! I agree with you 100%. I happened to find her on the FP day… unbelievably the first post! Amaz. She has recommended you as well, so now I must take a tromp through the fields and see what I find. Okay, I just found that you have almost 6,000 followers. Holy mother of lonely blogosphere… now I have to subscribe and see what all the hoo ha is about. Cheers! xLaura

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