How Many Gaybies Equals Too Many Gaybies?

I’m going to admit it.  I watched an Oprah, “Master Class.”  I couldn’t help it.  My vag made me do it.  It was on Ted Turner.  Ted Turner is a fascinating guy.  He’s the original founder of CNN and a master sailor among other things.  Ted said many gripping and interesting things.  One was, and I’m paraphrasing, “I used to be militaristic as a kid, my dad was in the Armed Forces.  I used to believe, it was my America – right or wrong.  But, now I’ve changed.  Now, it’s my America – RIGHT.”  What he means by that is when he feels America is wrong, he says so, and loudly.  I loved that and I believe it fully encapsulates my feelings on the country of my birth, as well.


But, this post is not about that.


Ted said an interesting second thing and it was this…(again, I’m paraphrasing):


He said:


“…I promise to have no more than 2 children of my own.”



Interesting.  Ted believes we are overpopulated and that we shouldn’t have as many children as possible.  We shouldn’t OCTOMOM ourselves out just because we are rich.  I believe Ted means that you should have only 2 biological children.  If you take in more children through fostering or adoption, that doesn’t apply because those children are already here.  Adopting should be a good thing.  You would think.



It all got me thinking about Josephine Baker.  Josephine was a performer (American born, but entirely French in identity) and a prominent civil rights activist.  In a lot of ways she was WAY ahead of her time.  She was also bisexual and had very known relationships with women as well as men, including one with the Mexican artist, Frida Kahlo.  Josephine also had what she called her, “rainbow tribe.”  The artist adopted 12 children – 2 girls and 10 boys, all from different countries.


There’s only one problem.  A sort of major one.  From all I have read, Josephine didn’t really raise them.  She had a staff do so.  The children had what most would call a very neglected and odd upbringing.  Not to mention that eventually Joesphine’s finances could not withstand her monetary output and the whole happy-rainbow-castle-charade virtually collapsed.



Josephine got me thinking about Rosie O’Donnell.  Rosie only has 4 kids, but there was a moment there where the comic had moved a second girlfriend into the house next door.  In that house, the girlfriend was raising 6 kids.  That’s a whopping 10 kids total if they were all to meet for brunch.

Octomom cray-cray or wall art?


Then there’s the Octomom.  Don’t even get me started on that horror show of a woman.  This is a mom who thinks taking a can of spray paint and painting a picture on the WALL OF YOUR HOUSE and then surrounding it with a spray-painted “square” is some kind of substitute for art.  I can’t even begin to understand the level of psychosis operating there.  Nor can I begin to understand why those children haven’t been taken the feck away from her by social services.



It all leads me to making one big, grand, sweeping, conclusion:




There’s basket weaving, mountain biking, kayaking, beading bracelets, website design, gourmet cooking / canning, automotive restoration and repair, dog training, and blogging.  All of those hobbies were taken right off the top of my head, but there are many more.  And you don’t have to stretch out your vag nor ruin the childhood of another human being to engage in any of them.


She-sus Christ.  It all reminds me of the phrase, “Jack of all, master of none,” but in this case I’d change it to:  “MOTHER OF ALL, MOTHER OF NONE.”


And this sh*t goes for the Duggars too.  We get it, you’re religious.  But, if you really want to prove to me that you’re religious, completely pious, and better than me, then go and do some missionary work in godforsaken, bumfeck, no-where-land.  Feed some orphaned kids.  Build a school or a shelter.  Truth is, your building a ladder to God from your uterus by stacking your own biological kids sky high until you reach the heavens…it doesn’t impress me.  It makes me think you’re a jay-hole, which is a made up word, but sounds appropriate nonetheless.


So, let’s just say – on this point (and many others, it seems), I agree with Ted Turner.


If you want to grow something, start an organic farm.  Use the produce to feed inner city kids who usually eat nothing, but 25 cent bags of chips from the bodega washed down with purple, sugary, drinks.


Your lady parts can be used to grow many things.  I’m just not always sure it should be a kid.


As always, I welcome your thoughts.



Sweet Mother is on a daily quest to reach 365 posts.  You can subscribe to this blog, by clicking the “follow” button above.



Photo creds:  tedturner, baker, octomom, baby-feature

36 thoughts on “How Many Gaybies Equals Too Many Gaybies?

    1. of course i saw that lady parts ‘yeast growing’ idea coming a mile away when i wrote the post. but, i thought it was too easy. however, i LOVE that you added it here. this is as it should be. 😉 momma

  1. I come from a big family, I’m the youngest of 6. It’s just too much for one or even two people to handle. It’s madness. I can’t imagine what a day in the life of Octomom’s kids is like. It really makes me sad. They can’t possibly be getting what they need. And as for the Duggars, they use the older ones to care for the younger ones and that annoys me to know end. You don’t create a kid to put it to work to be responsible for the ones down the road. Gah!

    1. I AM SO WITH YOU ON THIS, FISHES!!!! so much so i had to use the caps button to convey my emotion. i heard that about the duggars. hello, you’re supposed to be raising kids! not, 14-16 year old parents. ridiculous. what about their childhoods. it’s not right, just to live out some kind of religious agenda…it’s just not…

  2. Well, I have to say you were right! You had a “juicy piece” worked out for today. And spot on!

  3. That was the greatest description of the Duggar family I’ve ever read. Seeing them and all their craziness makes me think I should have more children to counteract them…and then I come to my senses.

    1. this quote is in my book proposal:

      “Where is, in other words, the funky tattooed intellectual poetess who, along with her genius anarchist husband, is popping out 16 funky progressive intellectually curious fashion-forward pagan offspring to answer the Duggar’s squad of über-white future Wal-Mart shoppers? Where is the liberal, spiritualized, pro-sex flip side? Verily I say unto thee, it ain’t lookin’ good.”

      it’s a quote from this guy’s piece about ‘where is the duggar alternative’ and i make the argument, in my book, (in a funny way, of course) that it’s an army of gaybies that should be the alternative… check out the original article. you will enjoy:

  4. I am adopted, my first parents had me when they were children themselves (15 & 17), they married later and had 5 more. My first dad had a few others, 1 before he was married to my mom and at least 3 while he was married to her, 2 when after and two that he adopted. I most of them having met my first parents when I was in my twenties.

    I was raised with one brother who is also adopted. My second father married my aunt though who had 5 children, making my cousins my siblings.

    I once suggested to my first father God was not speaking directly to him when he commanded ‘go forth and multiply’, he laughed told me he just had fast swimmers. Palm meet face.

    You are right, we are over populated. Worse yet? Most of those over populating the world are dumber than dirt and fail to properly educate so stupid expands. Even worse? The more children the dumber they get, I see it in my own family (first and second) the younger ones are dumber.

    1. “so stupid expands” — my fave line, val. i have to say your whole comment is fascinating and great. i’m with you. i don’t think you can properly care for kids when you have too many. look at the problem with school teachers — there’s always a complaint after budget cuts, that teachers can not adequately teach classrooms that are overly full. yet, we believe parents – TWO PEOPLE – can adequately parent 18 kids?!!! because god (duggars) or mental illness (octomom) told them to do so? ay yay yay. it’s all too much. xoxo, sm

    1. i love that you noticed that. ‘baby hoarders’ was an after thought. i was done writing the piece and i was like the whole thing should be called, ‘baby hoarders’ or i should call these people, ‘baby hoarders’ somewhere in the piece, but i was too tired, so it ended up becoming a tag. lol. i figured that way i’d remember it, if i ever go back and re-write the thing. sigh. hope you are well, stace. much love, sm

  5. Don’t get me started on the Duggars and Octomom. I’m pretty sure they’re part of the reason the rest of the world hates us. So between them and the fact that so many other folks treat kids as the latest accessories (“Look at this little number I picked up on my last trip to Zimbabwe!”), it’s all out of control.

    1. “look at this little number i picked up on last trip to zimbabwe!” OH.MY.GOD.I.THINK.I.LOVE.YOU. THAT WAS JUST GLORIOUS. i’m so with you weebs. it’s all cray-cray. i’m sitting her fretting over having one, MAYBE, MAYBE one, and these a-holes have way more than they can handle with no concern as to whether or not they can adequately provide for them emotionally, financially, and physically. people do the same thing with pets. it’s sad really. ay yay yay. i might have to put some kahlua in my coffee. xoxo, sm

  6. We were planning two gaybies and then we had twins. Now I still think we’ll have another child in a few years time. I feel it is my duty as a relatively intelligent person, married to another intelligent person to breed a few intelligent beings to even the score a little.

    anyway… as the band Harvey Danger once sang…

    I’ve been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding, the cretins cloning and feeding…

    I’m not sure if having kids automatically means I’m not as bright as I would like to believe I am.

    1. you should have a duggar level of children. seriously, read the comment that i left to speaker7. it’s the idiots breeding that bothers me. yes, of course, should we all probably limit the number? yeah, but if you can handle them – totally cool by me. and it helps if you’re smart, lesbo, and south african. but, that’s just my personal bias. 😉 but, the duggars and octomoms? they need to knock it off. and i will admit to cringing when i saw rosie and the other les getting together putting their kids total at 10, but they seem to be broken up now… i think… rawk it with your bad self, fabs moms.

  7. Holy Crap! Way to nail it. My wife watches the Duggars and is fascinated, I watch them and want to stock up on automatic weapons and canned food for the coming end of days.

    I love my kids and my grandkids and yeah everybody who wants one or two should have them, but people are truly out of their minds.

    The kids, who are already starting off with a challenge of having been orphaned on some level already, remind me of the little dogs which so many famous people get to carry around in their bags. That whole fashion craze has already faded, and no one wonders where have all the mini-pincers and tea-cup terriers gone. I can just imagine the signs the homeless will have in a few years: “B-grade actress’ adopted child 17 years ago. Will work for food. God Bless you”

    On a side note, way to blame watching Oprah on your vag. If I started naming all the stuff which other people’s vag’s have made me do…well…that’d be a long damn list.

    1. until what? my uterus falls out? the suspense is killing me… ohhhhh, you mean have a baby. sigh. i think my job is to forever PONDER having a baby and then never actually have one. somebody’s gotta do it… lol

      1. In the words of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, “it’s better to regret something you did, than something you didn’t do”.
        Then again, they have arse loads of money …and nannies, I’m guessing. So really, that little gem might just be a big ol’ piece of Montazuma’s revenge.

  8. I think you put your finger on it Mum – get a hobby or go one better and get something you are passionate about that doesn’t involve the Karma Sutra and no contraception.

    If all these baby-making ladies actually loved their kids and bent over backwards [no pun intended] to give them good lives then I’d say ok but have you noticed that an awful lot of them seem to see kids as commodities that only require the bare minimum in care?

    Having kids is a privilege, not a right.

  9. I completely agree, for the same reason I tell people to get their pet from the SPCA or local shelter, instead of a pet store or breeder. If we don’t have the resources to take care of what we have here, we shouldn’t be making more.

  10. Ted Turner seems to have taken the “zero population growth” stance. If each person only brought one person into the world then the population would not grow any more. Of course, that is not happening. I think that these people who have to have a child need to adopt because that business is overflowing around the world, same with pets, as the previous blogger posted. It is a shame that people have children and mistreat them or cannot take care of them… there’s a solution to that too!!!!

  11. nice one Sweet Mom 🙂
    i think adoption is great way to test all the extra motherly love one has, instead of having tons of babies…i mean world spend so much time having kids and forget to focus on those who have no one to feed them or buy them a piece of cloth.
    if possible i would like to adopt a baby girl…if i ever got to that point in my life…

  12. My mom always said that she reproduced herself and one other person, and that was her biological duty done. It’s one thing that we can agree on.

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